The soldiers grabbed me roughly by the arms and pulled me up. Water dripped from my clothes as I stumbled forward in the swamp, the setting sunset slowly beginning to fade into night. In the distance, most men already had begun to head out in the woods. I wanted more than anything to fight them off, but my body felt as lifeless as a rag doll, since I could hardly stand on my own two feet.

When they clamped the cold handcuffs around my wrists, I could barely feel them. Yet the angry red marks remained there. Every step that I took forward felt like I was stepping on hot coals; my head still hurt. Even though they asked me several questions, I kept my head low and stared at the dark green grass. At the very edge of the swamp was a truck, which the men got me to climb in the back with them and sit down.

After we pulled off, the stars started to rise in the sky. As the hours slowly passed by, I rested my head against the cracked wooden seat.

* * * * * * *

The building was small and flat.

It was surrounded by other makeshift camps that were properly built, almost like wooden homes. In the distance, hanging from a weathered branch, was the symbol of the snake. Tall oak trees surrounded the area. The flag was torn at the edges, but it still flapped loudly in the wind. I stared at it until one of the generals nudged me forward, the barrel of his gun pressed against the small of my back. All the other soldiers and people in the camp gathered around me, their eyes boring into my soul. In this moment, I truly wished that a hole would open in the earth and swallow me whole.

”Move it, traitor.”

The tone was cold and stern, and I didn’t look to see who it came from. With a shaky breath, I took a step forward. It wasn’t until I had made it to the front of the building did the door slowly swing open, a patch of yellow light inside spilling out on the ground. The person’s boots, while old and scruffy looking, were brightly polished. Their uniform was neatly ironed and free of wrinkles, and the jacket sleeve on their right arm had the band of the Red Snake.

The officer who had pushed me saluted. “Sir.”

I didn’t look up, just kept focusing on the boots that continued to circle around me, stepping on dead leaves and crunching in the dirt. The chain between my handcuffs swung midair as the person’s shadow finally stopped in front of me. I held my breath.

“Sir? Should I—“

“Go on. I’ll call you when I’m ready.” Their voice was as smooth as honey, calm and collected. “Do me a favor and stand guard outside my door, will you? I need you to be here in case things get out of hand.”

“Yes, sir,” Colonel Lockwell said, raising his hand up to his temple once more. He took several steps near the steps of the building, before staying in place, rifle in hand. For a moment, there was a heavy pause.

“What are you dogs staring at?” a nearby general shouted. “Get back to work.” He waved his arms at the group of bystanders.

A cold breeze blew nearby, and I fought the urge to shiver as everyone began to walk out towards their camps. The smell of smoke from a nearby campfire filled my nose, and the shouting and talking amongst people moving around me seemed fuzzy, at first, until the person began to speak once more.

“Can you look at me, please?”

My legs were shaking so bad I felt like I was going to piss myself. Slowly, I managed to lift my head, ignoring the pain from the cramp in my neck. Baldwin’s blond hair was combed back neatly, his blue eyes contrasting sharply with his pale skin. It was strange to not see him in his usual suit and tie. A long, jagged scar reached from his chin to his mouth, and he smelled like cologne. I felt a hot haze wash over me as he rubbed the back of his head and gave me a small, relieved smile.

“Thank goodness,” he said. “You’re all right. No doubt you need a bath, but that is what the river is for. When you are ready, there is a bucket full of soap slabs for you to wash yourself with and then you will put on a clean uniform. We have plenty of them in the shed.”

I fought the urge to spit at his feet. Colonel Lockwell’s eyes studied me for a moment, watching my every move. Baldwin then chuckled at my silence before making a waving motion with his hand towards the open doorway. The last thing I wanted to be was alone with him, but I knew I had to keep any mention of my mother to myself. Hopefully, Mr. Karin hadn’t blown it.

“Come along, Adlai. Let’s get you something to eat.”

* * * * *

When I stepped inside after him, the cologne smell was stronger, making me feel a little bit dizzy. There was a desk full of stacked papers, a fan blowing a steady stream of air at us, and the window was open, having a few holes poking through the netting of the screen. To my surprise, a water cooler was sitting not too far away, a couple of bubbles rising at the surface. At the corner of my eye, Baldwin’s back was faced away from me. He was humming a small tune of a song that I didn’t recognize quietly to himself. I stared at him, the water, then back at him.

Perfect.

I focused, trying to get some of it out of the cooler, but another searing pain slashed through my skull. The liquid only shifted a little bit. All that stuff I had done at the swamp had completely wasted me, and my hands were cuffed, which made things worse. Baldwin then dragged a chair, the legs squeaking loudly against the worn floor tiles, from the corner of the office and placed a bowl of something hot on the desk. As he leaned sideways against the table, he wiped the sweat that had already collected on his forehead.

“I’m going to remove the cuffs so you can eat. I am warning you, if you think about pulling anything off, there will be consequences. Is that clear?”

I slowly nodded.

Baldwin stepped forward and pulled out a tiny key from the pocket on his jacket, his long fingers turning the lock. A wave of relief washed over my hands as I massaged my sore, clammy palms. I had no appetite, and I wanted to sprint out of here as fast as I could, but he held his hand out towards the desk.

“Please. Sit.”

As I settled down on the chair, he placed a large wooden spoon next to the bowl, before taking a seat on the opposite end of me. The aroma of chicken soup mixed in with the cologne as I stared at the orange brownish liquid. No doubt he snuck rat poison in this. Baldwin leaned backwards, his fingers drumming against the worn out wooden surface of the table.

“Not hungry?”

I ignored him.

“Adlai, you need to stop acting like a child. Talk to me, please. I was worried sick about you. Mr. Karin told me that you stormed off one night over some foolish argument. You’ve run away before, but it hasn’t been to the point where I am jumping from city to city to find you. Do you know that you are facing charges for the murder of Elisha King? He was found dead in an apartment you rented out, with a bullet hole in his head.”

Underneath the chair, I began to bounce my feet.

Baldwin reached into a drawer and pulled out a cigarette, lighting the end. “And do you know something even more odd? I got a report from one of my men that said that there were four Khonie with you. That you were hiding these....these filthy creatures. Which was why you fled the city, correct?” Smoke curled from his nose and lips as he exhaled. “Because you didn’t want to be caught with them. You killed one of our valued men to save a waste of egg and sperm.”

The room seemed to slowly grow hotter, like we were in a furnace. My fingers dug into the worn cushions of the seat, and I tried to avoid looking at the water in the cooler, which was starting to gurgle and swirl. A smile slowly curled on his lips.

“I mean, it is quite insane. All of us have raised you quite better than that, for sure. And after all this time you still can’t seem to grasp the simple concept. You are, in fact, taking away other people’s water supply for the sake of keeping the Khonie out of where they need to be most. At a time like this. How dare you.”

At this point, the water was sloshing so loudly I was surprised that he didn’t seem to pay much attention to it. Sweat rolled down my forehead and dripped off the tip of my nose. My breaths slowly became unstable.

“Why would you result to scum? How desperate do you have to be to even think of trying to befriend a subhuman creature? And they don’t even want anything to do with you, because you belong to us. What you are looking for here, you won’t find it. You just wasted the time of many troops, including mine. How did you even get this way? Unable to reach out to anyone. You had plenty of opportunities to make friends at the recruitment camps, Adlai. I helped you out the best I could. But look at you, making a mess wherever you go. Why, you’re doing it right now.”

I clenched my jaw.

“You are unstable, perhaps? A sickness has fallen over your brain, and you need to retake the program. Maybe we need to get you on some medication again.”

”No.”

“That is the cause for all of this. I’ve told you before to never let your emotions dictate your actions, and here we are, wasting time and money and resources. I had to cancel an important mission and send most of my troops over to as many cities as possible to find out where you went. So I need you to do this one thing for me to make it up.” Baldwin’s blue eyes narrowed. “Tell me where the rest of the Khonie scum is, the ones we saw you running around with. If you don’t, they will be executed on the spot. No Khonie escapes underneath my watch, and there’s no point in hiding anything, because we’ll find them. Eventually.”

“No,” I said again, my heart thudding against my chest.

“Tell me.”

I slowly took a deep breath, feeling a wave of energy overpower me as the water shot out vertically from the cooler, causing it to float behind me. With one hand, I balled my fists as it began it to morph into spikes, before hurling them at him. Without a word, he calmly moved out the way as the ice daggers pieced the wall, causing large chunks of plaster to break off and fly in the air.

The bowl of soup crashed and fell, pieces of broken pottery littering the floor.

I swung at him with my left fist.

He avoided it cleanly, a focused look in his eyes. With one leg, he kicked me in the stomach, the momentum sending me flying backwards against a shelf full of items that fell all at once. Before I could recover I felt another blow against my eye, and his foot kicked my shin so hard that I slipped and fell on my back, where my head slammed against the wooden floor. Baldwin’s knee dug into my stomach as he whipped out a small pocket knife and pressed it tightly against my neck, pinning me down. A thin line of blood traveled to the ground.

Now I knew how Rufus had felt.

While my breathing was heavy and out of control, Baldwin looked like he barely broke a sweat. Instead, he had that same smirk on his face, the cigarette still in his mouth, halfway finished. Heavy footsteps echoed in the room as both Colonel Lockwell and another gentleman stepped in. They both had their guns out at me. I swallowed hard.

”Is everything alright, General?”

Baldwin barely looked at them. He slowly pressed his fist a little bit harder against my neck, causing me to wince in pain. His blue eyes had a hint of amusement to them.

“That was a mistake, Private Mouse.”

I wanted to spit at him, but the cut was already deep as it was. He released me and stepped backwards, looking at the damaged water cooler for a moment and neatly smoothing out his jacket and pants. As I got to my feet, there was a sharp pain in the back of head, and the torn part of my sweatshirt had a bright red blood stain on it. When I touched it with my fingers, it stung.

Baldwin pushed back a strand of blonde hair. “Please take the Mouse out to the post and keep him there. There is some business that I wanted to attend with him, but he is much of a threat to me, including your own safety. When he is ready to hold a coversation like an adult, you may bring him back. Do be careful.”

“Yes, sir,” Colonel Lockwell said, aiming the rifle at my head as the other man cuffed my hands again. As they pushed me out, I saw the look of slight surprise in Baldwin’s eyes, although he tried to hide it from me.

He hadn’t expected that.

* * * * * * *

The post was some sort of makeshift shelter loosely made out of moss covered sticks that let in a lot more air and rain. One of the soldiers attached a long rope to a wooden board hammered into the soft soil where I had enough room to move around properly, but could never really leave. They believed that I would attack someone due to my temper.

Being restrained in that area meant that I couldn’t even go by the river, because of the constant fear that I would release an ice attack on everyone. And for once, it felt good to have these soldiers fear me. Every crook and cranny was crawling with these men, so even if I was successful in chewing off the rope, there would be nowhere for me to turn.

They gave me food, but I didn’t touch it.

Water was more than easy to come by, since I greedily lapped up the puddles that surrounded me like a dog. Several times throughout that first week, whenever the generals would try to get me to come back and have a meeting with Baldwin, I would try to attack. I didn’t care if I looked like a maniac: kicking, biting, spitting, whatever I could do that would keep them the hell away from me. They couldn’t shoot me fatally anyways, because he would punish anyone who injured me.

And so Baldwin proposed another plan. He stopped giving me food, and would only leave any for me if I came in and had the meeting with him. At night the monster wouldn’t go to bed, but rather pace in circles for hours in his sleeping quarters. The only reason I could even tell what he was doing was because of the silhouette that moved from one side of the room to another, like he was bouncing off the walls.

All I had to do for them to free me was to tell the generals that I agreed and that I was surrender to his antics. So I kept drinking a lot of water to spite him, despite the growing hunger pangs that gnawed at my sides. If I died here, that was fine, as long as he never got me to do anything for him again.

At midnight, looking up from my shelter, was where the best view of the stars were, right by the clearing of the trees. I could not stop thinking about the Khonie girl who saw me as the Sandwich King, and wished that she was here with me to point out the constellations above. Yet I wondered how the group was faring on without me.

No doubt Toku was glad to see me gone, as he could stop sharpening his knife by the fireplace. How was Malcolm’s back, was it still hurting him? And was Kia eating well enough so she could produce enough milk for Hagar, who had barely reached four months? She had grown so fast and was already trying to hold coversations with us. If they were caught, would they scar that baby’s cheek and actually end up killing her in the process?

Just the thought alone made me nauseous.

The loneliness came around me like a snake that wrapped and curled around me, slowly crushing my insides until they were nothing but a soggy, worn pulp. It hissed its forked tounge at me and revealed its fangs, sometimes biting into my skin.

Some days it wasn’t bad, but at night things got worse until I just wanted to give up. No doubt the guards would force me to eat as well, since they started to notice how much weaker I was getting. Fortunately I still had the upper hand towards keeping them separated from me, although those days were getting less and less. Whatever plan Baldwin had for me, he was going to have to wait it out as long as possible before he forced me to do it.

I wished I had gotten the chance to say goodbye to Honda. Not telling her about who I truly was probably destroyed everything, and all of my hard work had been for absolutely nothing. Was it hell to be able to experience companionship for the first time, and then never again? To relive the same memories over and over again and only have those to recall happiness?

All those promises I had made to her were scattered like broken seashells across the shoreline of the beach, and I didn’t know if I could pick up the pieces and start again.