The headlights from the cars illuminated Mommy’s still form, blood pooling around her head like a wet halo.

My throat burned as I crawled over towards her, my hands and knees shaking from underneath me. Rufus was hunched over, burying his head into his hands. There were around four or five cars surrounding us; my eyes were too blurry to make out what was going on when I heard car doors slam. I tried to shake her awake, but she was motionless as the shadows stretched out in front of me. Her blood stained my shirt. In the night sky, a loud popping sound emerged, the blue and green fireworks contrasting with the darkness.

Five men walked towards us, with Baldwin standing in the middle. A look of horror stretched out on his weathered face. With one quick motion, he slowly held out his gun at Rufus, who was still sobbing quietly. His index finger rested on the trigger; his hand calm and steady.

“Freeze,” he said. “Don’t move.”

I held on as tightly as I could to Mommy’s arm, which still felt warm. The urge to scream was there, but my voice was hoarse. Two men grabbed Rufus roughly by his shoulders, yanked him up to his feet, and slammed him hard against the car. The shadows hid his face as one of the guys punched him hard in the gut, causing him to grunt and double over.

“Mommy, wake up!”

I began shaking her arms as hard I could. Any movement would do; I knew that she wouldn’t leave me like this. She was smarter than to give up so easily. A shadow overpowered me, blocking the headlight that was shining on me from the car. I looked up as Baldwin knelt down to my level and gently took one of Mommy’s hands, feeling for a pulse around her wrist. His face grew pale as he set it down.

“She won’t wake up,” I said. “When will she wake up?”

His blue eyes glistened with tears, and for a moment, he looked away. I got to my feet as he rushed over to Rufus and with one swift motion, struck him in the face. The young man kept his gaze on the ground; blood dripping from his nose and onto his shirt. In the distance, one of the men began to talk loudly on his cellphone, calling for an ambulance truck.

“You monster,” Baldwin yelled. “First you go behind my back, and then you try to lure the boy and his mother in order to kidnap them? When you know that there are people after them? In a time like this? And then you have the nerve to kill his mother in cold blood?”

“What’s gonna happen to Mommy?” I barely managed to get the words out, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. “What’s gonna happen? Why...why isn’t she waking up?”

With a deep sigh, Baldwin approached me and placed a hand on my shoulder. For a long time, he stared at Mommy, a pained expression on his face. The men were silent. It seemed to take all the strength he had before he was finally able to open his mouth.

“I’m sorry, son. She’s gone.”

Gone.

That didn’t make any sense. His words rang in my ears like bells. Mommy just had an accident, that was all. She would recover. She looked like she was asleep during one of her naps when she got those bad migraines. Usually she snored louder than a lawnmower, but there wasn’t any this time. All the color was gone from her cheeks, and she didn’t seem to be breathing. In the corner of my eye, the gun that Rufus shot her with was sitting on the hood of his car. The barrel taunted me, gleaming in the dark, not too far away from his shadow, mixing in with the red and blue lights from the squad cars coming in.

“No,” I screamed.

The lights from the fireworks glowed in Rufus’ tear stained eyes, as he stared at me, looking completely torn. He didn’t say a word. His arms were bound back tightly by the other men, who were dragging him away towards the squad cars. Baldwin said something else to me, but I could not hear it. A disturbed expression was on his face when he glanced at Mommy lying on the ground. It smelled faintly of tobacco and paint, a very strange combination, and I threw up until I couldn’t no more.

In the distance, the music from the city continued to play.

* * * * * *

For the next two weeks, I stayed inside.

I didn’t go to the laboratory or training, of course. Baldwin and other government officials had taken me to another psychiatrist, but I didn’t know what they expected me to say. They had dug in my files from time to time, but I had no other relatives. I had no idea who my father was; and Mommy didn’t have any siblings.

I knew I was truly alone.

At this point, the Red Mamba didn’t even try to hint towards me going back to Nivea. No matter the amount of questions that they had for me; I didn’t say anything. I felt numb and empty inside, like someone had scooped all of my intestines out. Baldwin was getting more and more restless with each passing day.They had planned to take me to the courthouse for Rufus’ sentencing, but I didn’t want to his face ever again. I didn’t want to see anyone else either.

So I stayed in my suite. Baldwin still had me go to the psychiatrist, and tried to keep conversation with me, but my tounge was tied. It got to the point where everyone finally left me alone, and I welcomed the silence for once, even though it was painful.

It began to rain a lot outside, as well. Puddles formed in the front yard as the two guards walked me back. After arriving back towards the building one afternoon from another failed session from the psychiatrist, I sat down in one of the couches in the chandelier room. It was one of my favorite rooms, mainly because I liked the color of the walls and the furniture. I was aware that Baldwin and his men hosted important meetings here sometimes, but it was mostly untouched.

There was a creaking sound from the floor, and I turned my head. The same maid I had seen before held a broom in one hand and a dustpan in the other. Her black hair was pulled back into a bun; her uniform nearly ironed she began sweeping the rugs. From time to time, as she cleaned, she kept glancing at me. I hugged my knees and rested my chin on top of them, staring at one of the paintings in the wall.

Her words broke the silence. “Are you hungry?”

I continued to look ahead, not wanting to reveal at how shocked I was that she had finally spoken to me. The maid bit her lower lip, set the broom down and finally sat down next to me on the couch, her weight causing the cushions to shift. For a moment, we sat in silence.

“I’m so sorry,” the woman said softly.

The dam I had been holding back started to break, but I managed to resist it. She sighed and took a deep breath, before fumbling with a rag from her apron and wiping her sweaty forehead. I wondered how many hours she spent laboring here, but then I realized I didn’t care. I couldn’t trust anybody who worked here.

“I know you’re not up to it now, but you gotta eat something,” she murmured. “You can’t continue to skip meals like this, you’ll get weak. I don’t want you to get sick. You should eat, just a little to feel better, sir.”

I looked away.

“Would you like chicken soup, something light?” The woman got to her feet and knelt down in front of me.

“No. I want my mommy.”

The maid waited there patiently, a deep look of understanding in her eyes. I felt my own getting watery, but quickly wiped at my them with one hand, hoping she thought that they were irritated. I didn’t want to lose it in front of her and get all mushy.

“The man who did this to you will be getting his just reward. Baldwin is making sure of it. He is working very hard with Mr. Karin, who you will soon see in a couple of days. Jova has some of Plod’s finest lawyers. You have to understand that people are very evil. They may appear to be nice and friendly on the surface, but inside they are mean and disgusting.”

“I hope he rots in jail forever. I hate you, I hate everyone in this city. You’re all mean and disgusting, both on the outside and inside. I want to go home, and it’s all your fault that Mommy isn’t here.” The words came tumbling out. “I’m never going to eat anything you make. Your food is disgusting. I hate all of you! I hope that you all just go and—“

The woman got up and left the room, before I could finish. My voice sounded unfamiliar, like it had belonged to another person. When she returned she held a tray in her hand, and set it down on the coffee table. There was a steaming bowl of soup next to a cookie with a napkin on top of it. She handed me a spoon and gave me a sad smile.

“It’s okay, you know, sir.”

“What?”

“To cry,” she said softly, sitting down again and taking both of my hands into hers. “Don’t bottle it up like that.”

I shook my head, even though the tears were coming up again in my eyes. I didn’t want to give these people the satisfaction of the doubt. Just because Baldwin and Rufus had done so, didn’t mean that I was suit to follow. It was a trap, a hoax. I was being weak minded.

“I’m not crying,” I managed to say.

The maid set the bowl of soup in front of me, the aroma tickling my nose. For a moment, I almost felt like I was in the kitchen back at home, the table covered with eraser shavings and crumpled balls of paper because of my math homework. I expected to smell Mommy’s cooking, and see her red hair glow underneath the afternoon sun, the scent of the ocean that seeped into our house from the window she left open.

“I know your mother loved you very much. She’s always with you, a part of you. And no one can change that. Her death was not your fault; she loved you. It’s okay to cry, it is the first step towards healing. It does not mean you are weak. You never were.”

“I...I want her back,” I stammered, ignoring the fresh tears coming down my cheeks. “How can she be gone? I don’t understand. She was asleep, I mean it. She isn’t dead.”

The woman didn’t say anything, but even she could tell I was lying to myself. Instead, she pulled me into a warm embrace as I fell apart in countless pieces. The only sound in the room were my stifled sobs. She let me go when I couldn’t cry anymore and handed me a napkin. I took it and blew my nose gingerly.

“You’re just a child,” she said. “You are too young to understand these things. I want you to understand that none of this is your fault. Grownups do bad things, and at the end of the day they are responsible. None of this is your fault. Do you understand, honey?”

I nodded. She gestured towards the bowl.

“Drink that soup while it’s still hot.”

The last thing I wanted to do was to eat, but I picked up the spoon and took a bite. The salt water from my tears mixed in with the seasoning of the broth; vegetables and meat rising to the surface. The woman gave me a light pat on my shoulder before standing up and returning to her work.

“If you ever need anything, let me know, yeah?”

I looked up at her and sniffed. She had a look of pity on her face, and it took away my appetite. With both hands, I shakily set down the bowl and walked down the hallway back to my suite. I didn’t look back.

* * * * *

During the day, the city carried on as usual. The citizens looked like little ants from my perspective. It was a nice view from my room, seeing all of the mountains and trees in the distance, and then, the dark blue ocean, where I could faintly make out the outlines of other islands surrounding us, thousands of miles away. I didn’t cry again, mainly because I didn’t want to. Usually I would pry the window open worn both hands and inhale the warm air that came in.

The maid’s words about human nature haunted me, and I couldn’t sleep for days. I had odd dreams where the ordinary people around me began to morph and change into creatures, ripping out their skin, causing me to wake up in a cold sweat, shivering. I didn’t tell the psychiatrist about these dreams because I didn’t think he would understand them. Baldwin still didn’t try to make me go to training or do any lab work. He just gave me my space and told me if I wanted to go outside to the city, to let him know.

It was around nine in the morning, after waking up from one of those nightmares, did I finally walk up to his office door and knocked loudly. He opened it, holding a cup of coffee in his hand before looking down. Two of the guards started to go towards me, but Baldwin held up his hand, shaking his head at them.

“Why, Adlai!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t expect to see you here. I had wanted to talk to you for a while now. Why don’t you come in and join me for a cup of cocoa?”

I nodded and stepped inside. He pulled out a chair for me at the empty table and walked to the little table by the Red Mamba tapestry, pouring out something from a metal dispenser into a paper cup before setting it in front of me. There were sugar packets and wooden popsicle sticks next to these containers.

“My officers aren’t here yet,” Baldwin said, sitting down across from me. “I want to apologize for not giving you the space you need. I understand that this is a very difficult time for you. And we are here to help.”

”I want to fight,” I blurted out.

A look of shock crossed his face. “Pardon?”

“You heard me. I want to go back into training.”

Baldwin sighed. “It’s only been a month after your mother passed. You are still grieving, son. You need more time to recuperate, to heal. Do you want me to take you to her grave? I understand that you did not attend the funeral, but perhaps it would be best—“

“I want to go back into training, sir.”

For a moment, there was silence between us. Baldwin took a long sip of his coffee, before folding his hands.

“I want to fight people like Rufus,” I continued. “People like him don’t deserve to live on this earth. His people are dangerous. And we need to fight them. All of them. Before they hurt other people, before they attack.”

“I...I see.”

”So I wanna fight, sir. I’m ready to learn. It’s like what you said. People can’t be trusted.”

There was a hint of anticipation in his blue eyes. “You are an orphan now. Your mother had signed the forms that had us grant custody over you, and while you would be placed in foster care, these are very special circumstances. Based on all the scrutiny with the Kaver family, you will reside here until you are eighteen and join the army. It is for your own protection, son. We had discussed this with child services, and they agree.”

“So I can continue on with training?”

Baldwin rubbed his forehead. “Yes..but I want you to give yourself more time. Sergeant Davis is just going to do strength training with you. Basics. No fighting, as he stated. As for combining your gift with combat that will come with time, when you are older. But right now, simple things, to keep you in shape.”

I felt a wave of disappointment wash over me.

“But I am proud that you are showing your patriotic side. You are thinking about the safety of others.” He paused. “I must let you know that Rufus was never part of the Red Mamba. At least, he wasn’t born in Jova. He is from Portia. A poor city. You can see for yourself how outsiders scramble to the top.”

“So...” I struggled to make sense of his words. “He lied to me about that? I thought he said he was from here.”

Baldwin shook his head. “People lie, Adlai. People lie. I found it strange how he didn’t say a word when we interrogated him. His wife and daughter were sent back to Portia.” He leaned forward slightly. “People like him deserve to be locked up. I know you agree, don’t you?”

I stared at him for a moment, my face growing hot. I thought about how he had mercilessly killed the only person I had left. If I didn’t have a family anymore, he didn’t deserve to have one either. It was only fair.

“Yes,” I said.

Baldwin stretched and stood up. “We can talk more about this later. It is almost time for my meeting. I know you’re going through a lot, but I’m here for you. Please, why don’t you go outside and play in the yard, okay? You’ve been cooped up in here and you’re as pale as a ghost. I just want you to take things easy.”

I nodded as I followed him to the door.

He turned around and faced me. “There are some new board games that I had ordered for you. One of the maids left them on your desk in your room. I thought that you would like them.”

“Thank you, sir,” I murmured.

Baldwin gave me a sympathetic look. “Look, I know that you want to go home, but you can’t. Not in the moment. You understand why it’s dangerous for you to try to leave on your own. I am only grateful that Rufus didn’t harm you. Remember, we care about your safety.” He started to close the door. “I will see you later, okay? Go play, or enjoy a snack from the kitchen. The chef is making chocolate chip cookies today, so he may allow you to taste the dough.”

“Baldwin?” I asked.

“Yes?”

“Can I do training again next week? And the labwork.”

He looked a little hesitant. “We can get you back on the schedule by Monday. I’ll have to talk to the psychiatrist about it. But if you’re not able to carry it out, let me know. I don’t want you to strain yourself.”

I nodded as he closed the door. As I made my way outside on the damp lawn, the morning sun was high in the air, and the light blinded me. Several large puddles sat in the thick green glass, the water reflecting the sky. I sat down by one, and placed my hand over the water, concentrating. A small crunching noise filled my ears as the cold, hard surface appeared under my fingers.

My reflection looked distorted and twisted in the ice.