The orc took us off the trail and through the forest. Godbert was verging on outright panic, but I was calmer than I believed possible. “Hey, it’s ok,” I said to him. “These guys will stop the marshal ever getting to us. Once they get the villagers and their grain, they’ll wipe them all out.” The last was meant for the benefit of our guide, the first to calm my companion.

The orc grunted in agreement. After a mile of walking, the unsettling silence slowly gave way to the sounds of frenetic activity. Dull thuds carried through the trees as axes went to work. Steel clashed against steel as warriors practiced. The awful laughter of born killers was the worst; malevolent and soulless.

“Keep ya ‘eads down and don’t gawp or you’s likely ta lose ‘em,” warned our orc companion.

We emerged from the timeless woods into a sea of desolation. Thousands of trees had been hacked down to burn on the massive fires which littered the land for miles around. The individual trails of grey smoke amalgamated in the sky to form an unbroken cloud of filth that blotted out the sun. I couldn’t even begin to count the amount of makeshift tents that were erected in the valley we had been taken to. Five thousand? Ten? I made the mistake of looking at one and quickly looked away. What I’d initially mistaken as some large, evergreen leaves bound together over the wooden frames were in fact the skins of orcs stitched haphazardly together.

“Nothing goes to waste,” Godbert remarked as I looked anywhere but at the stretched, perpetually screaming faces.

“Dis way! Come on!”

We followed, mindful to show deference to the massive figures that abused us as we passed. We were pelted with rotten food on more than one occasion. We were also hit by lumps of dripping red meat which I didn’t dare to look at. If the stench of the streets in Pitchhollow were bad, the smell that pervaded the air of the orc encampment was like something out of Lucifer’s sweaty arsecrack. I had to breathe through my mouth to stop myself from vomiting.

“Nearly dere! Move it!”

I staggered to a halt when we reached an open area with cages as big as a house; at least thirty of them in neat rows. Inside each was a monstrously large troll. The cracked, grey skin resembled broken concrete. Clenched fists the size of a family SUV. Beady black eyes in tiny hollows that made up for a lack of intelligence with pure, burning hatred. I had no illusions that they couldn't tear through the iron bars if they wanted to. As we neared, they started to become agitated, growling at us while pawing at the ground.

The orc chuckled. “Don’t worry softmeat, dey’s been fed.”

I noted the scattered armour amidst the straw at their feet, both human and orcish. Nothing goes to waste indeed, I thought morbidly as the dull witted monstrosities snapped at us. It was bad enough knowing we had an army of goblins and orcs about to descend on us, but with the sheer size of the trolls I started to question our chances of survival. They would tear through the palisade like it was made of paper.

We moved past the holding pens and the smell of shit changed to a familiar tang of mixed powder. Stacked crates of highly dangerous goods were piled high against the orc skins as the goblin tinkerers played scientist within.

“Fru dere!” barked the orc, motioning towards the largest of the tents. “I’ll get da rest of da bosses.”

The scout stomped away, and I took the opportunity to do some heavy thieving before we made for the tent. Nobody guarded the entrance, which, considering the size of the army around us, was unsurprising. I was expecting something out of a horror movie as I walked inside; a charnel house of bones and flesh, the heady scent of spilled blood. What I found made my jaw drop. The interior was fragranced and clean. A huge bath sat in the corner, steam rising from the water. A luxurious bed with plush pillows and silken sheets lay in another. I glanced at Godbert who was nonplussed by the surroundings.

“Nice place,” I muttered.

“I know,” he replied.

I was about to ask where the leader was when a frenzy of bubbles broke from the bath and the figure who had been submerged sat up. He looked at us and smiled, showing no fear or surprise. “Godbert! Where have you been, my friend?”

My jaw dropped lower at the perfectly enunciated words in place of savage grunts.

“Hiding,” Godbert replied. “The marshal sent more men and they took us by surprise. Everyone’s gone.”

I checked the bestiary tab quickly as the naked goblin climbed from the tub.

Name – Zord the Handsome (Level 15) (Boss)

Description – A legend within the goblin ranks, Zord was blessed with an unparalleled beauty quite unknown among the greenskins. As cunning as he is stunning, Zord is one of the most competent warriors and engineers in Gutrender’s army.

Weakness – Physical Elemental

Immunities - None

He wasn’t as repulsive as the rest of his kind, but handsome? Give me a break. His skin was mostly unblemished by purple warts, and the hair that hung down his back had been cut in a straight line. Only his jawline, which resembled Jim Carrey in Me, Myself, and Irene, was noteworthy; protuberant and dimpled. I did my best to look away from his other protuberance which gave me severe self-esteem issues. It was like a baby orc’s arm holding an apple.

“I’m sorry to hear that. The captain was a reliable man,” Zord replied with genuine remorse as he finally donned a pair of cloth briefs. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I… I mean we, were hoping for shelter,” said Godbert.

“And food, sir,” I said with as much simpering as I could muster.

“You shall have both!” Zord declared. “Your assistance has provided meat and grain that have been invaluable to our efforts.”

“While we were running, we found a village that hadn’t yet fled. We wanted to give them to you in thanks,” said Godbert.

The warmth of the goblin changed to cold calculation. “Show me where.”

A rudimentary map had been set out on a table. I locked eyes with Godbert as we approached and he nodded ever so slightly.

“There,” I said, pointing out an area the marshal had agreed to. It was off the beaten path and unlikely to have been discovered yet. If our plan went to hell, the only thing waiting for the raiding parties was a sizeable force of veterans who wanted to carve some orcs.

“Interesting,” said Zord. “We hadn’t thought to head into the mountain passes.”

“They occupy a valley like this one. It’s concealed, well sheltered. The ground is fertile due to the mountain waters which run through it,” explained Godbert.

Zord’s eyes narrowed as he licked his lips. “And the people?”

“Fat farmers,” I replied, conjuring a box underneath the table. “Ready to be plucked.”

“Mmm,” Zord salivated. “I do like them plump.”

The eloquence of our host was undone by his true nature. No amount of well spoken words and hygiene could mask the black soul lurking beneath the veneer of decorum. I gently kicked Godbert’s ankle to draw his attention while our host was riveted on the thought of tasting warm blood. He quickly noted the primer near his boot, which consisted of a ferrous rod and flint.

“They don’t come plumper,” replied Godbert, flicking his eyes back toward the entrance.

I took my cue and turned to Zord. “Would you mind if I ran outside to use the toilet, sir? It’s been a long road. We can discuss the fastest way to reach them when I get back. We don’t want them getting away.”

“Of course. Find somewhere far from the tent though, would you? I find the smell quite noxious.”

I bowed, gave my companion a final smile, then left. I heard the low murmurs of conversation as Zord asked after me. Godbert was effusive in his praise, explaining about our fateful efforts to hide from hundreds of furious soldiers. Our plan had originally involved my stealthy escape from a relatively small command camp and the gallop of horseshoes. That was out of the window as I found myself in the midst of a massive concentration of the enemy. I only had one option, and that was going to be fraught with peril; straight up.

“Git outta da way!” snapped one of the other generals who emerged from between two tents. More were arriving for the news we brought, which messed up my ability to morph unseen.

I ducked into one of the nearby shelters and pulled the skin-flap closed.

“Tick-tock, “ I whispered, knowing my time was limited.

Activating my eagle form, the small world I occupied changed as I shrunk. The process was hastened by my willingness to accept the process. Hopping forward, I used my head to peel apart the orc skin and looked outside.

All clear.

Waddling through, I quickly unfurled my wings and pushed off… straight into the arms of another orc who appeared around the corner of my hiding place. We were both as startled as one another from the unexpected contact. I squawked in shock as the monster grasped at me, pinning my wings painfully against my body. He thought he had a free meal until my razor-sharp beak tore into his forearms. Roaring in pain, he flinched and let me go. I wasted no time, buffeting my wings to hold me at head height before pecking and raking at his eyes with my talons. The shredded mess of his face was enough to keep him distracted as I fought my way skyward once more. The commotion had brought inquisitive soldiers from their tents and many started to point and holler as I flapped my wings as fast as possible. The first arrow zipped past, actually catching my feathers it was so close.

To hell with this! I tried to shout, only for it to come out as an enraged shriek. I angled my body and dived away just as another volley of projectiles whined through the air nearby. I could never climb fast enough to outpace the missiles and the height would only give them an easier target. So instead, I zipped over the tops of the vile structures, swooping down the gently sloping valley towards the forest. The dwindling attention I received was quickly diverted as the world erupted behind me. I turned my head as the searing fireball rose into the sky like a nuke’s mushroom cloud, taking with it Godbert, Zord, and countless others. The heatwave flattened the tents all around, triggering more explosions in the tinkerer huts. Waves of energy from the detonations battered against me, but I held on, needing to see the unfolding carnage. What had begun as one bomb had ended up as fifty or more, crashing up through the smoke from the cookfires and turning it black. Infernos raged everywhere and the screams of the injured and dying was music to my avian ears. The trolls, terrified by the noise, had broken free from their cages and rampaged within the camp, crushing and eating indiscriminately.

God speed, my friend, I cawed to Godbert’s soul as the orcs rushed to quell the chaos below. I’ll tell everyone what you did here today.

Catching a fresh wind from the south, I forged on. Passing over the treetop canopy, I started to scout for a place to land and transform back to my old self.

The mission had been a complete success.