It turned out that survivalist camping wasn’t for me. My aches had their own aches. I couldn’t straighten my neck for about fifteen minutes. I looked like a dog whose owner just said walkies, my head cocked to the side in a perpetually quizzical tilt. Sun kept laughing as she prepared breakfast. I’d offered, but my lopsided view of the world made walking near the fire a dangerous endeavour.

“I’ll bet your people have straw bedding in every house,” she said as the herring sizzled.

“And then some,” I replied, vertebrae crunching as I rolled my neck.

“You’re too soft. We need to get you hard.”

I damn near put my back out as I burst out laughing.

“What?” she asked, unimpressed with my merriment.

“I’m sorry. I’ve got a very immature sense of humour.” I got hold of myself and continued. “You’re right, though. I doubt I’ll be seeing many straw beds and feather pillows for the foreseeable future. I’m sure my body will adapt.”

“You’re already very strong and shapely, which will help. If you were fat I wouldn’t have come with you.”

“That’s a bit judgemental,” I scolded.

“Fat people are prey. Like the thinkers. If you have an orc raiding party chasing you, it pays to be light on your feet. You’re no good to me if your face is bright red and you can’t draw a breath after two hundred paces.”

“Fair point. When does our training begin?”

“After breakfast. One hour. Then we do the same after an early dinner.”

“So by the time we reach the cave I’ll have had two hours of training?”

“Three,” she replied. “Maybe.”

“I’m going to get us both killed.”

“Do you have any other tricks up those Godspawn sleeves?”

I nodded. “A few. This for one.” Picking a spot far away from the drinking horses, I called forth my rat swarm. They charged from their tunnels into the sparse light beneath the tree canopy and stood there sniffing the air. Without an enemy they were just a blanket of twitching fur.

Sun gasped. “I’ve seen some things in my time, but nothing like that.” A minute later they evaporated into blue smoke like a Smurf’s dry ice. “That could come in very handy, but what weapons do you plan to use? Your fists?”

She didn’t mean it in a derogatory way as she studied my hands for signs of battle.

“No,” I replied. “I’ve got this.”

The flail appeared and Sun backed away. “What is that thing?”

“My flail. It’s served me well so far.” I whirled the bare skull of the bandit leader, wondering where the orc head had gone.

Sun raised a quivering finger. “That thing reeks of dark magic. I don’t feel… right. A pall is upon me.”

“It has an aura. It’s a magical weapon. Hey! I’ve got an idea! Can you select it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Concentrate on the flail. Try and think about bringing up the item description.”

Sun looked unsure, but leaned in and stared hard at it. “I’ve got it!” her hand waved in front of her face. “It’s there, but I can’t touch it. There are words in my vision.”

“When I’ve taught you to read, you’ll know what everything means. It’s called the Flail of the Rat Prince. It’s origin is a sad story that I’ll tell you later if you want.”

“How do I get rid of the words? It’s blocking my vision.” She tried looking every which way, but the display followed her eyeline.

“Just think it away. You’re in full control of the entire thing remember.”

She blinked a few times and broke out in a wide grin. “I think I’m getting the hang of this.”

“You’re going to be great. Shall we eat now before it burns too much?”

Sun glanced at the scorched meat and cursed herself. “I was so caught up in your magic I forgot all about it!”

“It’s fine,” I replied, taking a strip and gingerly biting the blackened fish. At least the char took away some of the salty flavour.

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. It still tastes great.”

Sun raised an eyebrow.

“Ok, maybe it still tastes like a seagull took a shit in my mouth then set light to it, but it’s all good protein and healthy oils.”

“I think most of the oils are on the fire,” she replied, kicking the excavated dirt back into the holes to kill the flames.

“Safety first. I like it. This way we don’t burn down the forest.”

“And unless you’re a skilled tracker, you won’t even see the pit we cooked in,” she added, scattering leaves over the area after stomping the soil down. “You’d only know someone had been here, not when.”

I thanked my lucky stars I had someone along for the ride who wasn’t just a failing arcade owner. I would need to find suitable companions in the other worlds too no doubt. That was a concern for later. Much later.

Sun refilled her water bladder and used some of the liquid to wash the burned fish from her mouth. Turning to me she said, “Ready?”

“Let’s do this!”

We moved to a small clearing where the sun could break through.

“Show me your fighting stance,” said Sun, walking around me.

I put my right foot forward and bent my legs slightly.

“Ok, good. So you’ve already mastered step one in not standing upright.” She kicked at my inner legs, moving them apart. “Spread your bodyweight to give a better grounding for your attacks. The problem is you’ve got a terrible magical weapon.”

I held Flaily close so he wouldn’t be hurt by her remark. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Uncontrollable momentum,” she declared. “We’ll find you a better weapon as soon as possible. One that doesn’t glow and make me feel ill.”

“I actually kind of like it.”

“Fine. Imagine you have an enemy stood right in front of you. I want you to hit them.”

“Now?”

“Now,” she agreed.

I wound up my swing and hit out at the air. As soon as I reached the outermost edge of the blow I could see exactly what she meant. The handle stayed put, but the skull kept moving until it cracked me in the arm. “Ow, ow, ow!” I moaned at my rapidly numbing limb.

“There’s not always going to be someone there to absorb what you throw out. May I?” she held out her hand and I passed over the flail. Sun wrinkled her nose in disgust as she took up her own stance. “You need to be moving with the direction of travel to absorb the energy if you miss. Like this.” Sun lifted the flail above her shoulders. “This is a high guard.”

I watched carefully. “Ok.”

She whipped the flail around in a devastating arc and deadened the momentum with a well-timed movement of the handle towards the skull. Swinging it in the other direction, she did the same thing. “The flail wants to keep going. You kill the motion by moving yourself towards where it wants to go. The chain… Sorry, the spine is no longer at full stretch and falls at your side. If you could shorten the length of the bones between the handle and head, it would be a little better. Less chance of clubbing yourself to death.” She handed it back over and wiped her hands. “Now you try. That will occupy you for the next hour.”

I did as Sun instructed. Now that I had been shown the obvious physicality of the flail, it was easier to control the swing. I still managed to crack myself a few times in the face, ribs, and arm, but by the end of the hour I was whirling up a storm, spinning like a ballerina.

“Don’t get cocky. The best form of attack is the simplest. If you show your back to an enemy, they’ll use it to skewer you.”

“I still think it’s a good weapon.”

“Let’s do a quick test shall we?” Sun suggested, pointing. “You take that tree and I’ll take this one. I want you to hit the trunk three times. I’ll attack with my axes within the same time it takes you to score the blows. Understood?”

“Totally.” I readied my new high guard and waited for Sun to gather her axes.

“Now!” she snapped.

I swung as hard as I could, tearing a chunk out of the bark. Returning the skull to my shoulder, I finally understood the point perfectly. She sounded like an enraged woodpecker, hacking at the tree. Carrying on, I gamely beat on the trunk twice more.

“Watch out!” she called as her entire tree started to list with a deafening, cracking noise.

“We say timber,” I replied, moving to safety as the entire thing crashed to the forest floor.

“Can you see my point now? I have very little wasted time between attacks.”

I looked down at the hunks of chopped tree at her feet and nodded. “Yeah. Can I have your axes?”

“You can have them if you beat me in a fight.”

“Can I use my spells?”

“No.”

“Then I’ll pass.”

“For now that’s probably a good idea.”

I retrieved my bow and quiver of arrows. “Can you shoot? I was going to do a bit of training with this too.”

Sun shook her head. “My father wanted me to, but I went straight for the axes. It became a bit of a contention between us that I refused to learn the bow. I was so pig-headed.”

“We all have regrets. I’m sorry to bring it up, but I’ll bet at the… you know… when it happened, I’ll bet he was super proud of you. Wherever he is now, I know he’ll be just as proud to see how brave you are.”

Sun turned away and walked into the woods. I was tempted to call out and apologise for tearing the plaster from the wound, but in the end I held my tongue. Pulling an arrow loose, I took a firm grip in the centre of the bow and held it up. The weight was as nothing. Slipping the nock onto the string, I flexed it a couple of times. What it lacked in bulk, it made up for in resistance. I’d watched the movie depictions of archers; weak, frail chaff only fit to be cut down by a flanking charge of horsemen. The effort I needed to apply was enough to have even my arms straining. I aimed for a nearby tree, sighted as best I could, then let go. Whatever I thought of my form, the arrow flying off on an unrelated trajectory and the welt rising on my forearm told a different story. The crack of the string as it whipped my skin brought Sun back from the shadows.

“Are you done?” she asked with a teary smirk.

“Shut up. It was my first try.”

“And hopefully your last. I don’t want to get skewered.”

I put the whole thing back into my pack and left the arrow unclaimed on the forest floor. “I’ll practice another time.” When I had someone to ask questions of, anyway.

“Let’s get moving. We’ve a lot of ground to cover today.”

We packed away the camp in minutes and loaded the horses. I climbed atop Bolt and turned to my companion. “Sun?”

“What?”

“Thanks for coming with me. Thanks for training me, even if you don’t know how to shoot.”

“I have much honour to regain. This is my first step.”

“I’m still grateful,” I added.

“As am I. Now let’s ride.”