[ZERO SPACE]

“The first competition will take place right here,” said Randall, flexing his scaly wings. “Right here in the stables!”

Randall barked, summoning two knights. Each carried a brush and blank white canvas.

“The competition will be painting,” said Randall. “Both competitors will paint me. I will decide who paints me better!”

Shae turned to his team.

“Who’s our best painter?” asked Shae.

“It kinda doesn’t matter,” said Lanzer. “The other team gets to pick.”

“Right,” said Shae. “Who’s their worst painter?”

“How are we supposed to know that?” asked Asira.

“Holy snap,” said Bez. “I know!”

The Feather Birds turned to Bez.

“It’s Parper,” said Bez. “He carves on walls all the time. He’s terrible! Check this out!”

Bez projected a screencap of an image etched into concrete. Each Feather Bird squinted in turn, struggling to interpret Parper’s hieroglyphics.

“I love Parper’s art!” shouted Umi. “It looks like a hot dog with pimples! I’d eat it!”

“I was going to guess it was a fish,” said Asira. “Like, a really sick fish.”

“It’s me!” said Bez. “Well, it’s supposed to be me. My HavenCast chat found it really funny. One person said they even laughed out loud!”

Shae nodded, turning to Randall.

“We choose Parper,” said Shae.

Bowman grimaced, forcing the other Deadly Skulls into a huddle.

“That’s not good,” said Bowman.

“What’s not good?” asked Syadd.

“Parper’s a terrible artist,” said Bowman. “One of the worst I’ve seen.”

Parper crossed his arms.

“You don’t need to be good at something to enjoy it,” said Parper.

“Disagree,” said Bowman.

Syadd scratched her head.

“How the hell would the Feather Bird’s know that?” asked Syadd.

“It’s Bez,” said Wagger, chewing on a stick of TNT. “He sold us out.”

Syadd’s six eyes narrowed.

“Tratorious little kobold,” grunted Syadd.

Janzo nudged Syadd with his scythe.

“Pick Umi,” said Janzo. “Brutoids have big hands. They’re bad at precision.”

“Janzo,” said Parper. “That seems a tad racist.”

“Uh huh,” said Janzo.

Syadd gritted her teeth.

“Fine,” said Syadd. “I choose Umi!”

Umi stepped forward.

“I love painting!” shouted Umi.

“Wait wait wait,” said Lanzer. “You’ve painted before?”

“First time!” shouted Umi. “Ledgess will guide my hand!”

Umi joined Parper by a canvas. Parper twirled a brush between his fingers.

“Best of luck to you Umi!” said Parper.

“I don’t need luck!” shouted Umi. “I have Ledgess!”

Randall slammed his fist through the ceiling.

“It is time to paint,” said Randall. “Start painting!”

Parper slashed the canvas with concise brushstrokes. Everything he had went into this painting: his heart, his soul, and about two gallons of paint. There was no doubt in his mind; this would be his masterpiece.

Umi closed his eyes, folding all four brutoid hands into a prayer.

“Start painting!” Randall yelled at him. “You’re not starting!”

Umi acknowledged only the voice of Ledgess.

“Stop ignoring me,” said Randall. “I don’t like being ignored.”

“Crap crap crap,” said Lanzer. “Umi Umi Umi! Paint paint paint!”

Parper’s puppoid tongue flopped sideways, leaking a slow trickle of drool. His fuzzy fingers glided across the canvas like concentrated dagger swipes. Each movement was careful and concise, as if possessed by a master painter.

Randall huffed smoke towards Umi.

“Paint now!” roared Randall. “Or I will paint the canvas with your blood!”

“Yo Randall, he’s praying,” said Shae. “He needs a moment alone with his God.”

Randall’s head lowered.

“A God?” asked Randall. “A God, like a designer?”

“Designers aren’t gods,” said Shae. “They might tell you otherwise.”

“Gods are creators,” said Randall. “Designers are creators.”

Randall leaned his snout towards the sky.

“I’m Intelligence Ten now,” said Randall. “Intelligent enough to create!”

Randall studied his surroundings.

“I know how this castle was created,” said Randall. “I can create more castle!”

A menu projected from Randall’s scaly hand:

Asset Library ID name comment 18242381 castleWall_03 18242389 castleWall_03 DO NOT USE 18242397 castleWall_04a 18242422 castleWall_08 for grand hall only 18242426 castleWall_9

Lanzer’s fishy jaw dropped.

“Shae Shae Shae,” said Lanzer “That’s a dev menu!”

Randall selected castleWall_04. A gray transparent cube appeared before him. With a swipe of his claw, the cube solidified into tangible stone.

“Is this how Gods create?” asked Randall. “I enjoy Godhood. Being a God is my new favorite hobby.”

Shae winced.

“Yeah, that might be a problem,” said Shae. “Umi, wrap it up!”

Parper withdrew his brush, flinging paint across his fur.

“Finished!” said Parper.

Parper unveiled his masterpiece --

The Deadly Skulls squinted to make it out.

“What is that?” asked Syadd. “A pineapple?”

“A really fat pineapple,” said Wagger.

“We’re doomed,” said Bowman.

“Uh huh,” said Janzo.

Umi’s head rose.

“I’m finished y’all!” shouted Umi. “Finished praying, that is!”

Umi squeezed his paint brush.

“Ledgess, guide my hand!” shouted Umi.

Umi focused on the canvas ahead, crafting an image in his mind’s eye. A mental outline of the dragon appeared on the page, aligned perfectly across the page’s center. Cerulean scales rolled across Randall’s body like ocean waves. His loop-the-loop tail lassoed a jet of fire. It was the perfect image, capturing not just Randall’s form, but his essence itself.

All Umi had to do was execute.

“For Ledgess!” Umi shouted.

With a dramatic thrust of his arm, Umi punched right through the canvas. White paper peeled back, splattering paint across the cobblestone floor.

The Feather Birds groaned.

Randall blinked.

“Umi is disqualified,” said Randall. “Parper is qualified to win!”

SCOREBOARD Feather Birds Deadly Skulls 0 1

“I discovered this new scoreboard feature,” said Randall. “Discovering new features is one of my favorite hobbies!”

***

Both teams stood upon the castle wall, dark clouds rolling in the sky above. A jagged cliffside lingered below, its rocky teeth eager to consume careless adventurers.

Randall swooped across the wall, clearing out soldiers with a torrent of flame.

“This next competition is a wind race,” said Randall. “Both teams will race against the wind.”

Shae glanced towards the clouds above. Despite their threatening demeanor, they produced only a light drizzle.

“It’s not that windy,” said Shae.

Shae regretted his words immediately as Randall’s wings flapped with hurricane force. Both guilds tumbled across the wall, gripping onto each other for dear life.

“I have three special moves,” said Randall. “One move is Fire Breath. Another move is Wind Wings.”

Randall’s wings steadied.

“My third move is Eye of the Green God,” said Randall. “I do not know what that special move is. I have never used that special move before.”

Randall perched at the wall’s end, stretching out his wings.

“Choose who will race against my wind,” said Randall. “The first to touch my foot wins the race!”

Syadd squeezed her flail like a stress ball.

“This is impossible,” said Syadd.

“On the bright side,” said Parper. “We’re ahead by one. We can afford a loss!”

“Disagree,” said Bowman. “We need to get further ahead. We need to demoralize them.”

Wagger sat near the back of the group, chewing on her TNT. All she wanted to do is blow stuff up. This competition had a distinct lack of things blowing up.

Janzo nudged Syadd with his scythe.

“Choose Asira,” said Janzo.

Syadd’s six eyes narrowed.

“You know something we don’t?” asked Syadd.

“Uh huh,” said Janzo. “Pteranoids have big wings that catch the wind. They’ll blow away.”

“Janzo,” said Parper. “That seems a tad racist again.”

“Uh huh,” said Janzo.

“Janzo’s right,” said Bowman. “Our wings go with the wind. Not against it.”

Syadd hesitated, then turned to Randall.

“I choose Asira --” Syadd began.

Syadd trailed off, glancing down - Asira stood right in front of her.

“H-Hi there,” said Asira.

“What the hell are you doing over here?” growled Syadd.

“Spying on you,” said Asira. “It’s a ninja thing.”

Asira scurried back to the Feather Birds, conveying her learnings.

Shae pivoted towards Randall.

“We choose Bowman!” shouted Shae.

Syadd gripped her flail chains, hard enough to snap them.

“Those sneaky little bastards!” roared Syadd.

Randall blew fire into the sky.

“Competitors, head to the starting position,” said Randall. “You will start there!”

Bowman cringed, joining Asira at the base of the wall.

“G-Good luck Bowman,” said Asira.

Bowman didn’t respond. His dark eyes focused forward, shrouded by his hood.

“The race begins when my wings flap,” said Randall. “My wings will flap now!”

Randall unleashed a tempest’s fury, dragging Asira and Bowman backwards by their wings. Both pteranoids slid like hockey pucks, digging into the ground with their claws.

“This is exhausting,” said Randall. “Exhausting for you! My wings are fine. My wings can flap all day without getting tired. NPCs don’t get tired like players!”

Asira and Bowman struggled to their feet. Each inch of progress felt like a mile.

“NPC abilities don’t cost SP,” said Randall. “We don’t have SP. We don’t have limits! Maybe that’s why humans are so quick to put limits on us.”

Tears leaked from Asira’s eyes. Fur ripped free from her flesh. Her lips reeled back in an agonized grin. Bowman’s sandals dug into cracks in the ground, desperately seeking traction. His hood flopped backwards, revealing an enraged pteranoid scowl.

In one fluid motion, Bowman stripped down to his bland black undergarments, releasing his cloak to the wind. That would ruin the replay. But Bowman didn’t care; he’d do whatever it took to win. Even if that meant ditching his underwear. Fortunately in Zero Space, that wasn’t possible.

“You’re going to lose this,” said Bowman.

Asira glanced over.

“The Feather Birds are weak,” said Bowman. “You’re their weakest member.”

Asira scowled.

“A-Are you trash talking me?” asked Asira. “I know you’re trying to get in my head. That’s not going to work on me.”

“I’m stating a fact,” said Bowman. “Your character is weaker than mine. I’m already ahead of you.”

Bowman had a small lead. That lead grew larger by the second.

“You’re built for speed,” said Bowman. “But this race requires strength. My build has more strength than yours.”

“I’m not a speed build,” said Asira. “I’m a ninja build!”

Bowman scoffed.

“No such thing,” said Bowman. “Ninja isn’t a Zero Space specialization.”

“It’s not a Zero Space specialization,” said Asira. “It’s my specialization!”

Asira braced against the wind.

“I used to be afraid,” said Asira. “I ran from my enemies. I avoided fights. I killed as fast as I could.”

Asira focused on her footsteps.

“I treated Zero Space like real life,” said Asira. “In real life, you avoid confrontations. You learn to hide. You learn to escape.”

Asira focused.

“You learn how to run.”

With a burst of speed, Asira pulled in her body, arms flowing like ribbons behind her. She accelerated, barreling past Bowman.

“That’s real life,” said Bowman. “Things work differently in Zero Space.”

Bowman’s arms spread behind him, mimicking Asira’s stance.

“Zero Space is about control,” said Bowman. “Control your body, and you control the situation.”

Bowman gained on Asira.

“You’re currently ahead,” said Bowman. “To beat you, I need to do what you’re doing. Then do it better.”

Bowman surpassed Asira - halfway to the dragon now.

“I know what my body can do,” said Bowman. “And I know what yours can do. I’ll always have the advantage.”

Asira pushed with all her strength, but her wings snagged in the wind, nearly ejecting her from the wall. Bowman was right. Her strength was lacking. She’d never beat him with her current body.

-- Her current body.

“B-Bowman,” said Asira. “I have something you don’t.”

Bowman glanced over.

“Swords,” said Asira. “And a healer.”

Asira drew her swords.

CHOP CHOP

Asira sliced off her wings!

Blood flowed from her gushing stumps as she rocketed forward, a burden lifted from her shoulders. Bowman growled as Asira tore past him.

“No!” shouted Bowman. “No!”

Bowman swiped at her - his hand passed right through.

Wagger yawned from the sidelines, biting a stick of TNT. Her magicoid eyes glared at Asira. This looked like a sure-win for the Feather Birds, and that meant an even longer competition.

Wagger couldn’t let that happen; she desperately wanted out of here.

She wanted to blow stuff up.

“Boooooooooring!” yelled Wagger.

Wagger lit two sticks of TNT, chucking them in a calculated arc. Vicious wind took hold, hurling both sticks backwards towards Asira.

BOOM BOOM

Asira was fine.

The ground below however splintered into a thousand pieces. The wall crumbled, sending Asira screeching towards the jagged rocks below.

Wagger collapsed in a laughing fit.

“Yeah, get wrecked!” yelled Wagger.

Asira screamed, plummeting towards crooked slabs of stone.

“Fly Asira!” shouted Umi. “Ledgess will guide you!”

“Her wings are gone!” yelled Shae. “Bez, heals!”

“I can’t!” shouted Bez. “She’s too far!”

“I’ve got this!” yelled Lanzer. “SUBTLE SLASH!!”

Lanzer teleported to the wall’s edge, cradling Bez in his arms.

Bez spotted Asira.

“CARE STARE!”

Asira’s new wings popped out from her shoulders, yanking her back like a belated parachute. She twirled into a glide inches from jagged stone, arcing up towards the castle wall.

Bez and Lanzer fell against each other, sighing in relief.

Asira looped around, just in time to watch Bowman tackle Randall’s foot.

Randall’s wings grew steady.

“That makes you the winner,” said Randall. “The Deadly Skulls win again!”

SCOREBOARD Feather Birds Deadly Skulls 0 2

“One more point is all the Deadly Skulls need!” said Randall. “Three more points is all the Feather Birds need!”

Asira slumped to the ground. She gave it her absolute all, yet it still wasn’t enough. Maybe she really was the weakest Feather Bird. A selfish traitor with an ability that was only worthwhile at level two.

“Hi Asira,” said Parper. “You did a great job out there!”

Asira glanced towards Parper.

“I-I didn’t hear you come over,” said Asira.

“Yes, I can be a tad ninja-like too!” said Parper.

“You here to rub it in?” asked Asira.

“Of course not!” said Parper. “I’m just happy to see our guilds settle things without violence. Though I suppose we don’t have much choice.”

Asira just shrugged.

“Oh, there’s one other thing,” said Parper. “Have you made any progress on that thing for Master Valdi? Or I should say, V?”

Asira froze solid.

“We actually met in V’s sanctuary,” said Parper. “I’m the one that greeted you! Remember the guy with those cute puppy dog ears? Or the cute tail? That was me! It was a while ago --”

“I’m working on it,” Asira interrupted.

“Right, well, you may want to work faster,” said Parper. “I don’t want to see anything happen to you.”

“Are you threatening me?” asked Asira.

“No, of course not,” said Parper. “I like you a lot. That’s why I’m warning you. There’s nowhere V can’t track you. Especially now that you live with Janzo.”

Asira choked back tears.

“I’ve seen V do terrible things,” said Parper. “I don’t want to see those things happen to you.”

Parper’s puppoid smile dissipated.

“Please hurry Asira,” said Parper. “After the dragon, I’m certain V will come for you.”