I sat next Livia in a guest bedroom in Antonias’s estate. There were multiple beds, but she sat in mine next to me as she had when we were sharing a single bed in our apartment. We had had to flee said apartment when the Net pieced together who I was and people began posting about the Imperator that lived in low income housing. I supposed I could have moved us into better accommodations, hell, I knew I could have gotten us a better place, but I was a bit miserly with my coin. Staying in that subpar apartment while steadily achieving major victories in the Red Sands arena for the Brazen Chains ludus had earned me a solid amount of cash. Enough that I had had to stop hoarding it under the bed like a dragon’s nest on Livia’s demand. I had opened a bank account with advice from Velias on a reputable institution.

Livia’s foot brushed my leg. My fingers twitched involuntarily and tore through the bed.

“What was that sound?” Livia asked.

“I just… I twitched. My fingers moved.” I said.

“You… twitched and tore open the bed?” Livia said.

“Yes,” I said. I examined my hand and controlled my expression, trying not to show the anxiety beneath show on the surface of my face.

“Oh, Adrias! Antonias is going to be cross with you.” Livia worried. “And it’s so nice of him to let us stay here in such a nice place, I’ve never been in such a fancy estate.”

She was still very much a child of Lavinius, a planet of paupers.

“It’s just a bed,” I dismissed. “He’ll be fine. He could buy another thousand of these and have them delivered.”

“What’s wrong then?” Livia said.

“Nothing’s wrong.” I said. What was wrong was that my transition from Copper to Bronze had not been as smooth as I would have liked. The strength was apparent, but the control and restriction of impulses was not where I wanted it to be. I was having little accidents all the time, broken plates and glasses, holes in walls, friction burns on wooden floors, cracks on marble ones.

“You never did tell me about your past.” I said, changing the subject.

She laughed, her brown eyes warm. “You’ve never thought to ask.”

“Well, I have thought of it. I just never got to the right time to ask about it.” I said.

“And now you want to know?” She said.

“Yes.” I said.

“Well, you know some of it.” She played with the edge of the blankets on my bed. “I grew up on Lavinius in Collea. When I was a little girl, my family was killed in a gang attack. I stayed with my aunt for a time but she never liked me much and I found myself running with a cultivator gang-“

“The Shining Shanks.” I remembered.

“Yes, the Shining Shanks. They gave me the pills, resources and training to reach Silver but didn’t have the materials to propel me to Gold in time for the first wave.” She said.

“Did you like them?” I said.

“A few. Gulio. Atelia. Retias. A few close friends, and then many others who I kept a respectful distance from.” Livia said.

“Many others? When I found you there were only a few dead but you said that you’d be eaten for scraps if I left you alone. Where were the others then?” I asked.

“That wasn’t the first battle between the Shining Shanks and the Frosty Blade. We had been whittling each other down over the course of months, not able to recruit new people quick enough and get them to Silver before they were cut down by the opposition.” Livia said. “The last few who were at the battle you finished back in Collea were the last of us while the Frosty Blade gang still had quite a few left in their pocket.”

“What about Gulio, Atelia, and Retias? What were they like when they still lived?” I said.

“Gulio was funny. Always had jokes for me, always gave me extra rations. I think he had a crush, honestly. Atelia was cold at first, but she warmed up to me when I took over her late-night sentry watches for her. Retias was awkward but kind. And strong. He was my senior brother you saw dead and he was the strongest Silver we had. If anyone was going to reach Gold it was going to be him. Guess the Fates didn’t want it to be.” Livia said.

We talked more about silly stories and long past memories of hers, but I avoided any attempts to talk about my past. I didn’t like lying to her about my history and even thought she might pick out some of the truths from the lies and put it all together, so I kept details scarce. As far as she knew, I had crash-landed on Lavinius from elsewhere but that elsewhere was secret.

A thought occurred to me, something I had to get done eventually. Telling her about what had happened at the party and define where Livia and I stood in a relationship sense.

“There’s this girl.” I said and Livia froze. She stared into my eyes.

“A girl?” She replied slowly, hollowly.

“Yes. An Imperator named Caesia. I kissed her at her party that I went to with Antonias.” I said. I had kept most of the details of the party away from Livia, other than I had had a stimulant/hallucinogen slipped into my drink.

Livia slipped her hand into mine. “What are we, Adrias?”

I didn’t want to make her cry, but I didn’t want to lie either. The differences between us had grown too vast. Maybe once we would have been right for each other, but now as a Bronze Imperator I would outlive her by a hundred years if she reached Gold and that was unlikely as it was currently. If Livia was going to hit Gold, she would have hit it already. That’s how it went, the older you were the harder it was to hit the next one. It was a game of child prodigies. Velias had made it to Gold by sixteen and the other at the Brazen Chains ludus were within a few years beyond that. Livia was eighteen and only a Silver. That meant I had to assume she would be a Silver for the rest of my time with her and a relationship with a Silver Servus and a Bronze Imperator simply wouldn’t work out. I wasn’t controlling fidgeting or twitching or accidental movements well, how would I restrict myself when we were together? I risked killing her in passion at any moment that we spent intimately and many more just over the course of the day when we were together. Or in my sleep perhaps, a flung arm or a roll in my dreaming could crush her or break bones.

Putting aside the issues of our lifetimes conflicting, my fear of hurting her and just the flat-out power difference, there was also the reality that I didn’t know if I wanted to be with her even if I could be. I wouldn’t say she was ugly at all, Silver had kept her features pretty, but I didn’t feel the draw I had expected when I was interested in a person.

“We are friends. Close friends.” I decided. “We should stop dancing around the precipice of a romantic relationship.”

Livia started to cry. “Are you going to start a relationship with Caesia?”

“No. No, I’m not. She’s not right for me either. There was some attraction but me kissing her was the artificial draw and hedonism of the Shine intoxicant in my blood.” I said.

“W-what’s going to happen to me now? You’re all I have anymore, Adrias. I don’t know anyone else on Sunburst Station, don’t have a way of making money, don’t have a place to stay.” Livia said, slightly panicked.

“Livia. Livia! I still want you around. I still want you to work for me. And I still want you to be my friend.” I said, comforting her.

“Adrias, Toni wants to see you.” A female voice came in from outside the door to our guest bedroom.

“Okay, just give me a minute-“ I said, but the door opened anyways.

“You’re crying!” Junia, Antonias’s Hetaira, exclaimed. She rushed over to Livia and held her in her arms.

Livia sniffled.

“Why are you crying, sweetheart?” The beautiful Courtesan said, her pink eyes worried. She brushed a strand of blonde hair out of her face as she examined my Servus.

Livia shook her head. “It’s alright, I’m fine.”

Junia looked at me and narrowed her eyes. My fingers twitched involuntarily and ripped more of the bedsheet and the bed underneath it, digging into the material.

“Did you make this poor girl cry?” She accused me.

“I…” I stuttered out. The Hetaira was strangely terrifying for her size and Path.

“No, he’s fine, it’s not his fault, really.” Livia said.

“What did you do?” Junia growled.

“I just told her I didn’t want to go any further with her romantically and that we should remain friends.” I said, pressing up against the backboard of the bed.

“Well, clearly you could have made a better decision.” Junia said.

“How is it on me if I don’t want to be with somebody? I should be allowed to be or not be with whoever-“ I said.

The Courtesan reached out and slapped me. A Gold’s strength and speed, fire trailing behind her blow but so painfully slow to me now. A Hetaira’s Gold had nothing on an Imperator’s Bronze. I let it land, more in shock of the situation and unwillingness to attack first than an inability to move quicker.

My hand moved of its own accord, snaking out and gripping the Hetaira’s throat. Livia blinked, the movement almost too quick for her.

“Adrias! Adrias! Let her go.” Livia said.

“I’m trying.” I grunted. My hand refused to ungrip from Junia’s throat and was tightening slowly. The Courtesan’s face was turning purple, and tears were coming to her eyes.

+You let these worms speak like that to you?+ A man’s voice said in my head, powerful and commanding.

“Please, let her go.” I begged the voice.

+Let your grandfather do what you will not, Bronzed scion of Emperors.+ The male voice continued.

What? I had no grandfathers left, had never met either of them before they had croaked in the first place.

“I need her alive. My friend loves her. I need my friend to advance further.” I reasoned with the voice that had taken over control of my body.

+Very well, grandson.+

“I have no grandfather.” I said but the voice did not reply.

My hand released, revealing a terrible and nightmarish bruise on Junia’s neck. Her Gold’s constitution was the only thing keeping her upright.

“I couldn’t control it.” I said, reaching out to her and she drew away. Her pink eyes shown with fear.

“Antonias wants to see you.” She finally croaked.

I got up and left, staring at my right hand. What was that? Who was that voice? Was I going crazy?