《Ashes of Heaven》12- Lackey
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"Let's see what this said amazing technique is..."
Xuhan opened the scroll that Mu Ran had given him with a hint of doubt after Mu Ran left the archives' pavilion.
The skeletal monarch-
A super awesome cultivation technique suitable for any realm known to mankind. This heaven defying technique allows the practitioner to create his own army of skeletons that shall obey the practitioner's every order without hesitation. This super awesome and incredibly powerful technique that surpasses every technique in existence is the creation of the mega super genius master Duotian! Buy it or regret it!
Priced at : 40 spirit stones per volume, four volumes in total.
Special discount : 20 spirit stones!
"...What the fuck is this abomination?"
Xuhan gasped at the description of the technique.
Who in their right minds would be shameless enough to directly insert "amazing", "super", and "incredible" in the description of their technique?
This Duotian dude was even calling himself a mega genius!
This technique was the most unreliable thing he had ever seen in his life. Even the guaranteed STD removers from the back alley of his apartment in his previous life seemed more reliable after seeing this shitty description.
"Why did Mu Ran praise this technique? Didn't he say this is an awesome technique that could allow me to become a powerful cultivator?"
With heavy doubt in his mind, Xuhan went to another senior disciple to verify his suspicions.
"Senior, is this technique any good?"
The older girl turned toward the scroll he presented to her and her eyes widened at the description. Opening her mouth, she suddenly seemed at a loss for words.
"Junior, this thing is still in the archives? My goodness! Didn't some disciples make a petition to the sect to chuck that out in the streets?"
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"...It's that bad?"
"Yes. The technique really lets you summon skeleton soldiers, except these skeletons are so weak that one slap from any average cultivator can reduce them to mere bones. Moreover, you can't summon a large number of them unless you are a high level cultivator, so normal disciples cannot even use them as meat shield. Furthermore, the skeletons are dumb as hell, not to mention sometimes they rebel against their summoner's orders. The only thing they can do for you is to cheer you on from the sidelines. "
Xuhan finally realized why Mu Ran had given this technique to him! As a protagonist's lackey, Xuhan's main job was to cheer for him from a distance while he fought all the enemies and admire his techniques in an extremely loud voice to let everyone hear just how badass his boss was. So these skeletons would supposedly be his helpers in this job. He could already imagine the scene in near future...
Mu Ran: Evil demonic cultivator! How dare you glance at my woman's sister's pet! Die for me!
Han Xuhan: it's time to roll, boys!
skeleton 1: HEAVENS! How can Mu Ran defeat a cultivator from a higher realm! It's impossible!
Skeleton 2: Oh My God! What a vigorous fist strike! That aura surpasses his own cultivation!
Skeleton 3: Incredible! How did Mu Ran dodge that? What level of accomplishment do you need to have in xyz heaven defying cultivation technique to achieve such perfection? This Mu Ran is a monster!
Skeleton 4: So Handsome! I- I think I'm falling for him...
Han Xuhan: Wait, Skeleton 4, did you forget that you're dead? No... even more importantly, you're gay? I don't remember summoning a gay skeleton!"
Skeleton 4: Hmph! True love has no such boundaries!
What a marvelous boss! Giving me personal assistants when I haven't even agreed to the job...
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But Xuhan knew letting go of this opportunity might be the biggest mistake he would ever make in this life. This Mu Ran was a protagonist for god's sake! How can a smart guy like him let go of such a strong "golden thigh" ?
Xuhan decided to buy the technique on the spot without any worries since it didn't have any negative effects. Actually, it didn't have any effect at all, but that is not the point...He needed this technique to gain the protagonist's trust and become his lackey.
But Xuhan also felt how defenceless he was when it came to personal strength. He couldn't find any suitable cultivation technique to boost his own strength. The warrior's body seemed useless for any half-decent cultivator, divine manifestation of physique was out of the question, dragonskin was too pricey and the spiritual bone technique would be painful if he tried to cultivate it...no wait, bones?
Xuhan slowly looked at the scroll in his hand before making his way to his previous position in front of the four techniques focused on physical prowess again.
"What if I combine both techniques and cultivate the spiritual bones on the skeleton soldier's body?"
It was a risky move. But a cultivation technique was a cultivation technique regardless of its use. These trashy techniques might look simple, but they could still promote him to a cultivator. Even if they were trashy, their simplicity was what he needed right now to get past the deadlines for new disciples.
A sinister smile appeared in his face.
Indeed, becoming a protagonist's lackey was the best thing he could hope for. His shitty luck was finally going to be lifted for once...right?
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author note: yaaa hurray it’s my first story ^U^ i hope you all like it! all characters belong to my special friends who submitted them!!ok heres the first chapter enjoy ^U^ TL note: Some of you may be wondering why I am translating a story written originally in English, to English. I remember reading this story many years ago, as a teen, and had since dismissed it as a bizarre fever dream. Only recently, through much Googling, did I manage to rediscover it, and as such decided to not only read it again, but fix the author’s many typing issues and share the context of what I remember from its original happening. I believe the story underneath to hold deeper meanings than its strange happenings, but at minimum I hope you will appreciate it for the sheer weirdness of it all. For the best experience, skim it for your first reading and, if you are interested, read more deeply the second time.Some typing is left as-is to preserve what I believe to be authorial intent, or at least necessary effect. If you notice any typing issues I managed to miss, please email them to me at [email protected]
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