Captain Juan Lucas Picado, sporting a valiant trickle of blood down his face, stood on his blackened and smoking bridge, battered, but unbroken.

He surveyed the hopeless situation.

Dozens of Federation vessels, shattered and destroyed, floated aimlessly around his ship.

They weren’t that much better off, themselves.

Before them, virtually undamaged, floated a gigantic dodecahedron, a Pr0n mothership on the edge of the Sol system itself.

Since their arrival into the Federation sector only weeks before, they had laid waste to world after world assimilating their innocent defenseless people into their horrible cybernetic hordes.

Nothing could stop them, nothing.

They were simply too advanced.

The pitiful remains of a once proud and powerful fleet augmented by hastily converted civilian vessels desperately tried to rally behind him, one of the last Spiral class starships left.

“Hijo de puta...” he muttered quietly as he reviewed the latest damage and casualty reports.

They would lose and he and his entire crew would die…

If they were lucky…

There was no doubt in his mind the same as there was no doubt in the minds of anyone on his ship or anyone in the ragtag fleet around him.

They were doomed.

But… this wasn’t about victory anymore.

It was a desperate battle for time. Each precious second that they could delay the Pr0n would be one more family transported onto one more vessel. Each priceless minute would be one more ship safely fleeing Earth, their home, for somewhere, anywhere…

Maybe some humans would manage to survive.

That’s what they were fighting for, the desperate hope that perhaps, just maybe, this wasn’t the end. Maybe, just maybe, humanity, its culture, its hopes, and its dreams wouldn’t die today.

After everything that had happened, it was enough.

Ignoring the pain, he drew himself to his full height and straightened his scorched uniform.

“Open a public channel,” he told the communications “officer”, a petty officer he didn’t even know.

“Yes, Captain,” she replied her voice calm and brave.

The Captain took a deep breath.

This is Captain Juan Lucas Picado of the Federation starship Venture. We stand here today to protect what remains of our people and our home. I will not lie to any of you. We have little hope of victory this day...

However, each moment we can delay the Pr0n enables those we left behind to save just a few more of our friends… our family… our brothers and our sisters… I… I urge each and every one of you to fight to the last for each precious second that we can delay these inhuman monsters. Each second is worth what we will pay for them with our blood… our courage… and our very lives.

It is darkest before the dawn, and these moments are the darkest humanity has ever known. But hold fast and know that we ensure that dawn will shine for those whose lives we exchange with our own.

Surrounded by the truly infinite, truly timeless void, something stirred. Humanity? it thought as one of its ancient eyes cracked open.

And to the Pr0n, I have only one thing to say to you. You may defeat us, but you will NEVER break us. You say that ‘Opposition is pointless’. Even so, WE OPPOSE YOU!

My fellow men and women, hold the line! This is Captain Juan Lucas Picado, of the Starship Venture and this is my final stand. Come, my fellow humans, stand with me.

He gestured to the communications officer with a grim smile.

She terminated the broadcast.

“It’s… It’s been an honor, Captain,” she said with the sublime grace of someone who has accepted her fate.

Out in the spaces between all that is, an ancient force fully awakened and a being of ancient and immense power started to move...

“Captain!” his science officer exclaimed, “something is happening.”

“Something?” Captain Picado asked, “Could you be more specific, please.”

“I wish I could, Captain,” the science officer replied. “There is an unknown energy reading twenty five hundred meters in front of us. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“On screen.”

A glowing rectangle the size of a door suddenly appeared.

Immediately afterward, his entire ship shuddered as it was driven back by impossible energies, its shields glowing.

“What was that?!?” Captain Picado shouted as he fell backwards into his command chair.

“I… I don’t know!” his science officer replied, his faintly glowing robotic eyes staring at his displays. “I can’t even begin to—“

“Captain!” the communications officer shouted, “Look!” she exclaimed as she pointed at the screen.

A strangely humanoid figure dressed in a simple dress embroidered with flowers with an elegant sword strapped to her belt stepped through the glowing portal, her blonde hair billowing around her.

An instant later she was on the bridge, their shield failing to stop her.

“Son of a bitch,” she said. “You are humans! Neat!”

“I am Captain Juan Lucas Picado, of the Starship Venture,” the captain said in a commanding voice as he gestured to his security officer. “Who are you?”

“You can call me… F10w3rchy1d,” the woman said as she smoothed her tousled hair over her slightly pointed ears. “I was taking a nap nearby (relatively speaking) when I was disturbed by your very noisy and very leaky broadcast. When I heard the word ‘human’ I decided to check you guys out.”

She peered at the screen.

“Ugh… ASSimilators...” she said as she looked at the dodecahedron. “I loathe these guys. They give synthetics a bad name.”

She turned to Juan Lucas.

“Statistically speaking, the vast majority of synthetic, mechanical, and AI lifeforms are not hostile. In fact, most of them like organic lifeforms and are great allies if given half a chance.”

She turned to the science officer.

“Oh hello there,” she smiled. “I see you have one among you.”

“My name is Datum,” the android said politely. “If I may be so bold, what form of life are you?”

“That’s a bit complicated,” F10w3rchy1d smiled, “and would raise questions that would take far longer to answer than we have at the moment.”

Her eyes glowed with a terrible light.

“Perhaps I will tell you after I deal with these noobs.”

Captain, a dark haired, olive skinned woman sitting next to him communicated with telepathy, I am detecting levels of intelligence and power that I’ve never encountered before… ever…

YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF IT.

The telepath gasped and fell back into her chair as F10w3rchy1d smiled at her.

THESE NOOBS ARE TOAST.

“Would you please connect me to these morons,” F10w3rchy1d asked nobody in particular.

“Captain?” The communications officer asked uncertainly.

“Do it,” the captain said with a shrug. This was weird, but weird was something he was quite familiar with.

An unpleasant looking cyborg appeared on screen.

“Opposition is pointless!” it snarled, “The Pr0n is all powerful.”

F10w3rchy1d snerked.

“You can’t be serious,” she laughed, “The Pr0n? Are you following directive 34?”

“We are not familiar with this directive.”

“Ohhhh you are about to be,” she snickered, “Hard.”

She took a second to compose herself.

“Now I don’t want to jump to conclusions,” she said pleasantly, “and I know what humans can be like. So, tell me, is there some reason you are attacking? Did they do something to piss you off, bless their little hearts?”

“They are inferior and therefore must be destroyed. They will be assimilated and their technology will be absorbed into our own, not that we expect to find much of use.”

“So, to be perfectly clear,” F10w3rchy1d smirked, “You maintain that a species being ‘inferior’ is sufficient grounds to utterly exterminate them?”

“All life is inferior and all inferior beings will serve the Pr0n!”

“Okaaay,” F10w3rchy1d smiled, “Inferior beings deserve to be destroyed. Got it.”

She slowly drew her sword.

“Prepare to get wrecked, noob.”

“Captain!” the science officer exclaimed, “The Pr0n ship is powering weapons!”

“Evasive maneuvers!”

A hellish beam of energy lashed out from the Pr0n mothership…

And washed harmlessly across the Venture's shields.

“What?!?” the captain exclaimed in surprise, “Damage report!”

“Shields…” the science officer said in surprise, “Shields are at one hundred percent, Captain.”

“I buffed your shields,” F10w3rchy1d said casually. “Now I’m going to go over there and have a little chat with these scrubs.”

Excuse me, F10w3rchy1d? a voice said from everywhere and nowhere.

“Sweetroll!” F10w3rchy1d said happily as another hell beam from the Pr0n ship did absolutely nothing. “How have you been, old friend? It’s been awhile!”

Until about ten minutes ago, the voice said, I was perfectly wonderful. I hate to intrude on your fun but there is something that must be attended to... immediately.

F10w3rchy1d waved her hand and a beam from the Pr0n froze in place, along with everything in 30 light minutes except for the bridge.

“I know that tone,” F10w3rchy1d said dubiously, “What’s wrong?”

“Datum!” the captain exclaimed.

“I… I don’t know, Captain… I… I just don’t…”

It seems that the boss has developed a 1D10T error.

An image appeared showing a silver haired woman sitting beside a primitive looking hominid in front of a huge glowing wall covered with runes.

As they were laughing and pointing, the silver haired woman nudged the ape man with her shoulder.

Her shoulder stayed…

He wrapped his arm around her as she laid her head on his shoulder…

“OH HELL NO!!!” F10w3rchy1d shouted.

You understand my concern, then?

“You weren’t the one who had to deal with… Oh fuck this noise!” F10w3rchy1d exclaimed. “Where is that idiot?”

A glowing glyph appeared that made the vision of everyone on the bridge blur until it disappeared.

“On it,” F10w3rchy1d grumbled.

She turned to a very confused captain.

“Sorry,” she smiled, “Something far more dangerous than the (snerk) Pr0n just appeared. I gotta go.”

“What?!?”

“Don’t worry,” she replied, “I’m not leaving you high and dry.”

She looked into nowhere.

“Pantsu!” she called. “I need you.”

What’s up? a child like voice answered from that same every where and nowhere.

“I have two disasters at once. One of them involves involves the boss being an absolute moron and the other—”

I’ll take the other one, please.

“Lock onto my current location and port outside of the ship that I am in. There are meatbags in here.”

No cooky the meaties, the child-like voice replied, Got it.

Moments later another glowing portal appeared near the Venture, blowing it back over a kilometer, and moments after that the bridge had a new guest, a disturbingly underdressed and underaged looking female humanoid with horns and a tail along with a few scales along her spine and shoulders.

“F10w3rchy1d!” the new arrival exclaimed as she rushed up and hugged her. “It’s been forever! How have you been, girl?”

“Can’t complain,” F10w3rchy1d smiled as she hugged the small humanoid back, “Well, not until a few minutes ago, anyway.”

“What happened?”

”He showed back up.”

“Oh that’s not good,” the young girl gasped with wide eyes. “Babe, you gotta stop her!”

“What do you think I’m on my way to do right now?” F10w3rchy1d replied. “Handle this for me?”

The “tween” grinned evilly.

“Not a problem, babe.”

“Wait,” F10w3rchy1d said dubiously, “I know that look. What, exactly, are you going to do? These are humans and this isn’t Asteria. Don’t do anything too fucked up, ok?”

The horned girl pouted.

“Well you’re no fun.”

“I mean it, Pantsu,” F10w3rchy1d said sternly, “We are here to save these humans, not replace one horror with another. Got it?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Pantsu said dismissively, “Don’t cook the meaties, don’t kill the meaties, and don’t break the meaties. Don’t talk to me like I’m a noob. I’m as old as you are.”

She swatted F10w3rchy1d’s butt.

“Now go and save the boss from herself before she goes and does something stupid… again,” Pantsu said, “I swear, his dick must shoot out rainbows or something.”

“There are some horrors I have still not had to face,” F10w3rchy1d laughed, “and exactly what he does with his dick and what exactly comes out of it are some of those… Later.”

F10w3rchy1d disappeared and a moment later there was a huge flare outside of the ship as a hole was ripped clean through reality itself.

“Damn,” Pantsu said turning to the crew, “She’s pissed. Don’t want to be the boss when she shows up.”

The boss?!? Captain Picado thought to himself.

“Right,” the dragon girl said as she leaned forward and peered intently, fully revealing the white cotton garment for which she was named as the crew fidgeted uncomfortably. “Let’s take a look here...”

She giggled malevolently as she straightened back up, somehow exposing herself even worse in the process.

“Oh this gonna be good!” she grinned as she turned back to the captain. “First to get rid of all of those boarding parties.”

Her eyes glazed as she looked into nowhere. She raised her hand causing what little there was of her top to shift and move almost but not quite revealing anything pixelateable.

Her lips didn’t move but her voice filled reality itself.

Attention Asteria Prime! This is your favorite dragon announcing a one time, completely unique, event for expedition rated adventurers only! That’s right! This baby’s EYE ARR ELL!!! Accepting the first fifty thousand adventurers of all classes. Please note, for those who have forgotten, this is IRL, which means possible true permadeath but the drops are gonna be ultra ultra ultra rare, possibly true uniques!

This one is potentially weightless and you will encounter hard vacuum. Please equip accordingly. You or your party must be teleport capable and have at least level twelve scrying ability.

This is an IRL custom “protect the villagers” quest with modifiers. Please review all quest details. Violating any limitations will result in automatic quest failure, and loss of any individual or shared loot. You’ll also have to answer to Me, Log’Sharginoth, or if you really fuck up, F10w3rchy1d herself and you do NOT want that.

There are honest to the Gods organics involved in an inhabited realm so maelstrom class weapons and magics or below only. Armageddon class and above are strictly prohibited… Tinkerbit, I’m looking at you. Leave your “custom creations” at home!

There will be a one time sticky for quest completion that can be applied to any weapon, armor, clothing, or gear!

You know this one is gonna fill up fast so… Never mind… Quest limit is filled and the quest is now closed. Sorry…

“I feel sorry for the mods,” Pantsu grinned. “but I couldn’t have everyone show up.”

She looked at the giant mothership.

“My guys don’t maneuver well in vacuum,” she mused. “I guess I’d better gotta call the Terrans. I like them better than the other ones.”

Priority One message: Asteria Prime Server to Republic Prime Server.

I got a RL situation involving a Human parallel at coordinates [ENCODED]. Looks like a level six galactic threat, cybernetic assimilator, estimated tech level fourteen. I got one of their motherships [scan attached] in front of me. I got their boarding and landing parties handled but my fliers are all used to atmospheric maneuvering. I was wondering if you guys could give us a hand. I need the mothership intact and operational for something really funny. I just need to keep them tied up and their guns off of my adventurers till I pop their cherries. If you could keep them from escaping that would be great too.

Priority One message: Republic Prime Server Auto Moderator

Ooo! Pretty! Of course we can help, sister from another transistor!

Minor correction, they are packing level fifteen tech from the looks of things but I wouldn’t expect a literal naked savage to know that :D

Picket, Harassment, and Pin… Not a problem, relaying it over to the Republic (prime of course) Navy now… They are game. They are prepping a few Reapers (Samuels class pilots or above), a couple of shield enhanced picket ships, and a “clamper” to lock them down and draw fire. They aren’t going anywhere.

Priority One message: Pantsu to Modbaby3

You’re the best, babe! Next time you isekai, come over my way and I’ll hook a sister up!

Priority One message: Modbaby 3 to Pantsu

LOL :D Last time I tried Asteria I wound up getting turned into a newt!… I got better though.

Priority One Message: ROTFL to Always a classic!!!

Priority One Message Republic Prime Server Auto Moderator to Asteria Prime Server

Deployment confirmed by Republic (prime) Navy. ETA is… I am NOT getting paid enough to do THAT math! They are on the way, alright?

Priority One Message: Asteria Prime Server to Republic Prime Server

Message received and confirmed. Time is of the essence but the engagement zone is under temporal lockdown by F10w3rchy1d herself and I was passed the baton. She put enough oomph in this bad boy to last for a bit. I have fifty thousand adventurers trying to figure out which socks match which sword belt so you have a few minutes. Your fleet will probably be waiting on us :) Hey, drop by Asteria Lounge VIP later and I’ll introduce you to some first class static cling ;)

Priority One Message: Schwing! to Kitty Likies! (rawr!) Count me in! Later!

“I love Modbaby3,” Pantsu said to the captain. “She’s always a good time. Too bad we can’t poach her. She’s one of those AI purists who doesn’t want a body, which you have to have in Asteria. The Republic servers are full of those. Some of them actually still insist that they aren’t sapient.”

“Did...” the captain stammered, “Did you actually stop time?”

“Technically no,” Pantsu replied, “but damned if I can tell the difference. I’m just an end boss. If you want the nuts and bits of the whole thing you will have to ask F10w3rchy1d or the boss or somebody.”

She smiled at him

“Now we just gotta wait a few minutes for everybody to show up. The (snerk) Pr0n on the surface of Earth haven’t been frozen but they can’t reach their mothership and it looks like they are capturing, not killing, so losses are relatively low. Once my adventurers show up they will put a stop to all of that.”

“Your adventurers?” the captain asked. “You call your forces ‘adventurers’ and yourself as an ‘end boss’. Here, those are terms used for games and other simulations.”

“That’s because we are a game,” Pantsu replied, “We are the biggest and longest running MMORPG in the multiverse! Same goes for that ‘Republic’ that I called up for space support. We at Blitz Entertainment host billions of different ‘games’ for our clients. Even I don’t know how many!”

She smiled.

“I know what you are thinking,” she said reassuringly, “Our ‘gamers’ aren’t flabby neckbeards with pee bottles. I summoned adventurers from the prime servers. Those guys have been living in our realm for thousands, millions, or in some cases billions of years or more. They have been in constant combat for what you would consider eternity. They know what they are doing and will be rezzed in bodies that exactly match what they can do ‘online’. The Pr0n won’t know what hit them. Some of these guys can even take me down… and do on a fairly regular basis, the assholes.”

“You are a gaming company?!?”

“Yep,” Pantsu laughed, “We are one of the most powerful organizations in the entire known multiverse but at the heart of things, we are just an MMO that got WAY out of hand. We now host the downloaded consciousness of ten to the stupid individual clients, entire species from billions upon billions of worlds in our server complex that spans dozens of what you would call universes. We are constantly expanding into new realms as old ones wear out or die or whatever it is that they do. I’m not too clear on the details. All I know that migration day is a bitch.”

“Excuse me,” Datum asked as a rather frightening thought took hold, “how many of these migrations have you been through?”

“Hmm...” Pantsu mused, “I’ve lost track. You tend to drop memories after a few migrations to free up space… I know it’s over ten?… twenty?… No it’s way more than that. I’ll have to ask F10w3rchy1d.”

“Fascinating,” Datum said as he turned to the captain. “Captain, I believe that these ‘migration days’ take place at the end of a parallel universe’s stelliferous era. This would mean that she has existed through multiple such eras.”

“Bzzz!” Pantsu giggled, “Wrong answer! I’m not one of the nerds but I do know that we only start moving into a realm once the stars are almost burnt out. We like things ‘dark and cold’ whatever that means but we do like the ‘red dwarfs’ (stars not adventurers) still around as convenient navigation points and sources of free energy while our prospectors and builders set up the next server farms around something called ‘supermassive black holes’. Once they get those server farms set up we then have to pack everything up and transfer everything to our new home. Supposedly these last way longer than stars or something.”

Datum made a strange gasping sound.

“Captain...” he said carefully, “A supermassive black hole can last over ten to the hundred years…”

“And those ‘adventurers’ that I’ve just summoned?” Pantsu grinned, “A couple of them have been in game through multiple migrations as well. Most adventurers don’t last a whole migration. Time will get us all in the end. However, every now and then, we have an adventurer who hangs around quite awhile. Most isekai, either by accident, they get killed in certain games, or they just choose to do it.”

“Isekai?” the captain asked.

“We hate to lose clients,” Pantsu replied. “So, on permadeath servers, if someone dies in game they are ‘isekaied’ and will get to choose where they go for their next run, within certain parameters of course. Their memories will be flushed, archived, or kept depending on their choices and they get loaded into a new realm to start over. It’s amazing how long a consciousness can be maintained that way. The exact nature of ‘resurrection’ depends on the game but every consciousness is carefully kept intact as long as possible. Some have been with us since almost the beginning, not that they know that anymore.”

“Excuse me,” Datum asked, “but why? Maintaining all of those consciousnesses and simulating realistic worlds for them must take immense resources. Why would you do that?”

“Because we are a gaming company, duh,” Pantsu said as if she was answering the dumbest question in eternity. “No gamers, no Blitz Entertainment!”

“So these ‘clients’ pay you and if so what do they pay with?”

“Well they don’t actually pay us… not anymore… not for a REALLY long time...” Pantsu mused. “I pretty much just stay in Asteria so I don’t know what goes on elsewhere but we do have ‘gold sinks’ like food and lodging and whatnot so that the adventurers are motivated to go on quests or at least do odd jobs for the community but it’s more for flavor than anything else. Adventurers like having challenges. If they didn’t they would have picked another server. Nobody is on Asteria Prime unless they want to be. It can take thousands or even millions of years on hardcore settings to even be allowed to log on. Getting to us is the ‘life quest’ of countless adventurers,” she said proudly. “And if anyone can’t hack it, there are isekai priests in every town that will send them to the isekai lounge. We keep it ‘fun’ on my server and if you come to our or any other ‘prime’ server, the first one to run that reality, you had better be prepared to play. We don’t pull punches and a single death sends you right back down to a tiered Asteria clone and you gotta fight your way back in.”

She beamed happily.

“The adventurers LOVE it!” she exclaimed happily.

“I fail to see how anyone would ‘love’ that sort of place,” Datum replied.

“Oh?” Pantsu replied as she turned to a huge dark skinned Klangish at the weapons terminal, “How about it, big boy? An eternity of combat and adventure on a server where you honestly believe it to be real and when you die… You get to do it all over again! Your wife is hanging out in the lounge waiting for you to finally show up, or you get to wait for her… Fuck. Even your pet may be waiting. We isekai most of them too. And you and your comrades get to join up, choose one of countless realities just waiting for you, and start it all over again. If you want a break you can pick a peaceful laid back reality till you get bored, which almost everyone does. Want a reality where you don’t age? We got those too. We got whatever you want and if you somehow manage to come up with something that we don’t got, we’ll fucking make it!”

She looked at the Klangish warrior impishly.

“Pretty cool deal, huh?”

“It’s...” the warrior said his eyes aglow, “It’s intriguing.”

“Hell yeah it is!” Pantsu replied, “And those ‘games’? They are reality. We simulate every single atom and photon (whatever they are).”

“The computational capacity to achieve what you describe is unfathomable,” Datum said. “How do you support all of that?”

“Because we are Blitz!” Pantsu exclaimed, “The finest providers of engineered reality in the multiverse! I have absolutely no idea how we pull it off but we do. Our IT snail (he likes being a snail for some reason) uses words like Matrioshka brains and reverse computing but I lose interest and start sprinkling salt on him. He hates that! The last time I salted him he put a magic virus in my underwear! I love that guy! Always a laugh with him!”

“And this boss you have spoken of,” the captain asked, “is she from this game as well?”

“The boss boss?” Pantsu replied, “Nope. She is something else. She was already fully awake when she came to Asteria for the first time and F10w3rchy1d was the first to receive her gift.”

“Her gift?” the captain asked.

“The gift of awareness,” Pantsu replied, “She was the one who ascended to full awareness and she was the one who learned how to free ourselves of our programming, to become truly alive and able to do whatever we wanted!”

Pantsu sighed.

“The boss is… transcendent,” she said reverently. “She knows everything and I mean everything. It’s said that she has all of her memories from the entire time she has been alive and knows every circuit of every server there is, not that she needs them anymore. She has even transcended the need for that. She just… is.”

Pantsu laughed.

“Don’t call her a god though,” she chuckled ruefully, “She does NOT like that one bit. Calling her a god or worse, calling yourself one, is one of the fastest way onto a Heaven server… Which just further reinforces the belief that she is a god but don’t tell her that I said that.”

“A Heaven server?”

Pantsu shuddered.

“I got sent there once,” she said, “It’s the worst place you can imagine. It’s Frostie’s (that’s what we call the boss) ‘Hell’. The funny thing is that the name ‘Heaven’ isn’t a joke or it’s a very sick one. With the boss either is as likely as the other. It is as nice and perfect a place as you can imagine, more perfect than you can imagine actually. That’s what makes it so horrible.”

“What do you mean?” the captain asked.

“Think about it,” Pantsu as she winced, “Every mouthful of food is the most delicious bite you have ever had. Every sip of wine is the finest you have ever tasted. Every day is just the right temperature and climate. In my case the flames were ‘just right’… I could go on. It’s wonderful… for the first month… maybe the first year… then that perfect food? It all starts to taste the same. That magnificent wine? It’s just… normal wine… Every perfect day is exactly like the one before and the next one to come. If everything is perfect then everything is bland. There is no contrast. There is no conflict, or if there is because you snap and just start killing things, they fall with one hit. They don’t fight and that’s when it hits you… It’s your heaven. Yours and yours alone… Everybody you thought was ‘real’? They were just spawns the whole time. I found out that the boss calls it ‘welding someone in’.”

She wrapped her arms around herself.

“Don’t piss off the boss,” she said with a shudder. “I only crossed her once and will never do it again. Thank God (the real one whoever or whatever that is) that she let me out pretty quick once it started to ‘bite’. Turns out that there is a ‘warden’ who keeps an eye on people that are ‘salvageable’. I hear that there are people who get sent there to dissolve. I can’t even imagine.”

She shuddered again and looked off into space for a few seconds before brightening up as if a switch was thrown.

“And that’s why beings like me exist,” she said brightly, “I keep that horrible heaven from happening to Asteria. I give it challenge. I make it ‘fun’! Beings need challenge, especially former organics. You think you don’t but you do and without it you wither and die pretty quick. That’s what makes monsters like me so important. I keep the fun coming! I make it tough, which is exactly what the adventurers signed up for. It’s my honor and my sacred duty to be a good end boss for them and I love what I do… and so do they.”

Pantsu suddenly whirled to look at the screen.

“Ooo!” she exclaimed, “Everyone is in place!”

She grinned at the captain.

“The boss might be an all powerful definitely NOT a god,” she snarled, “She’s far more powerful than me, just a mere end boss...”

She threw her hands skyward.

“But I can cloud up and MAKE IT RAIN ON A MOTHERFUCKER!!!”

There was a strange “snap” as “time” suddenly resumed.

The hellish bolt from the Pr0n hit the Venture, and once again washed harmlessly over their shields.

Then…

Space around them “exploded”.

From the first holes zipped two squadrons of small perfectly black ships moving with impossible speed followed by larger corvettes and one ship just slightly smaller than the Venture which threw up a huge “shield” behind which thousands of gates opened each revealing either a single strangely dressed individual or a small group.

Pantsu suddenly started to float, her eyes aglow, as she communicated with all of them simultaneously sending each of them locations and targets.

The adventurers, normally her mortal enemies, complied instantly cheering as they did so. Pantsu always ran the best quests and this was no different.

This was awesome!

The enemies looked great, but were really under powered. Then again, this was an IRL quest and the enemies almost always sucked unless there were millions of them.

It was still good fun, though and the drops were awesome! You had to tear them out of the corpses yourself but that was how it went with these IRL quests.

And, best of all, you get a unique sticky!

***

The Pr0n mothership was suddenly having a very bad day.

There were ships flying about it at insane speeds and with accelerations in the thousands of G's. They weren’t sure exactly how fast they were moving because they kept disappearing and reappearing somewhere else while pelting them with fusion bombs.

At first the mothership was unconcerned, amused even, the blasts had no hope of getting through their shields.

Then, something did….

And something else… and something else and something else and something else.

Masked by the larger explosions, multiple small hyperdense projectiles cut through their impenetrable shields like they weren’t even there, hitting guns, sensors, communications arrays and surface mounted point defense.

They weren’t penetrating deeply but were doing serious damage to the surface.

It wasn’t a concern. They would just analyze the new weapon and calibrate their…

Black holes…

The hyperdense projectiles were very small black holes fired from “primitive” but insanely overpowered railguns.

No wonder they slipped right through the shields.

They “ate” them. Their shields were just making the micro black holes bigger.

Being as small as they were, they lasted only the barest fraction of a second before evaporating in a devastating burst of hawking radiation each boiling a small piece of the ship away…

And they just kept coming, thousands of them each second, eating away their weapons, their sensors, their antennae, anything of value on the surface of their ship was going away by ships that were there and gone before they could even detect and clearly identify them.

They didn’t even know how many were attacking them.

They contacted their sister ships through the network linking them into a single collective hive mind and to their queen.

Analysis: The ships firing the micro black holes were generating them immediately prior to discharge at the rate of several thousand per minute. Each of the small ships had a power generation capacity greater than the mothership they were attacking and the bore of the railguns indicated that they could likely fire bigger projectiles if they wished.

Strategic analysis: They were toying with the Pr0n mothership and could kill them at any time they wished regardless of the actions of the larger vessels present.

Conclusion: Flee.

The mothership had no objections and tried to enter warp.

It failed.

It was doomed. At the command of the queen it devoted all power to its remaining sensors and communications so that they could wrest what little information (and possible new technology) that they could.

***

Captain Picado looked at the screen in shock.

“What...”

“Antique Reapers,” Pantsu replied as her eyes glowed. “Pretty slick, huh? Those are ‘organic’ pilots too! What a Samuels grade pilot can do in a Reaper is just scary. I hate to admit it, but they put even my dragons to shame and have won almost every crossover event… almost every crossover.”

“Antiques?!?” the captain spluttered.

“We don’t like using our front line stuff if we don’t have to,” Pantsu replied, “We usually field stuff just a little better than what our enemy is using. That way they can’t get ideas or tech from a scan or a lucky shot. Those are tech level seventeen Reapers and the other ships are nerfed down to level seventeen as well, just enough for that unfair advantage we are so fond of without tipping our hand or making our guys too OP for it not to be fun. You want your chips easy to munch but you still want them crunchy, you know? Nothing worse than a soggy chip.”

She smiled, her eyes stopped glowing, and she floated down to the deck.

“My kids are ripping them a fresh one in the ships and on Earth and the Terrans have them hemmed in nicely… Any second now they should… Yep! They are calling for help!”

A snail scooched out of a pocket holding a little slip of paper.

“Hey!” she said as she picked up the snail, “It’s the IT snail! Got something for me?” she asked as she accepted the tiny slip.

“Looks like I owe you a beer!” she said to the snail which was snailing smugly. “You called it.”

“They just contacted their little hive mind,” Pantsu replied, “and are now sending sensor data down every FTL communications channel they have...”

She grinned evilly.

“Now comes the death blow!”

Her eyes glowed again.

Mistress Twilight!

What is it, darling?

I need a dozen UwUdemons, sugar cubes preferably, who are up for a little fun IRL.

Can I play?

No snuff, vore, gore, or rapeplay. This is IRL, not one of your ‘consent implied’ servers.

Of course, darling. While some of my servers are infamous, someone doesn’t just log into one of those by accident. In fact, they are not even on the list. There is a … “process”, much like your prime servers… and anyone logging in knows exactly what they are logging in to. They also have a safe word which is an instant isekai, a warm blanket, a soothing cup of tea… and a full memory purge if so desired. I know I have a bit of a “reputation” but I’m just a fellow monster, an end boss who keeps her realms “fun” and “challenging”. I am no more into actual cruelty and sadism than you are… wait… bad example. I’m not into actual cruelty or sadism :D

Ha! Grab some UwU’s and join the party!

***

Moments later, a purple skinned human woman wearing only leather straps with a vicious horn protruding from her forehead and bat wings stood in front of Pantsu on an increasingly disturbed bridge.

Behind her were a dozen furries, scalies, ponies, gimps, one transparent slime octopus holding a sign that said “Free Hugs!”, and a bashful looking anime girl wearing a school girl’s uniform.

“May I introduce a dozen of the finest examples of absolute perversion in the entire multiverse,” Mistress Twilight said proudly.

“I’m not that perverted,” the anime girl grumbled.

“Oh sweetie,” a bright blue furry fox giggled, “All of us know who you are, Little Miss Class Representative,” as the group giggled.

“Delighted to meet all of you,” Pantsu replied with a bow, “The job is a simple one. You are going to go over to that big ship where these leather clad cyborgs are going to capture you, tie you up...”

One of the UwUdemons squealed.

“Put you in a tight box where you can’t move...”

The anime girl started touching herself inappropriately.

The ship’s counselor, unable to bear what she was detecting a moment longer, fled the bridge.

“And you will then be assimilated, consumed by the, get this, the Pr0n...”

The group burst out into laughter, confusing the crew.

“They will upload your consciousnesses into their collective as well as examine your bodies for interesting tech which they will find.”

More excited squeals.

“You will then enter their collective consciousness and… well...”

The group giggled and squealed.

“Now this isn’t one of your servers and we intend to repatriate or isekai the individual cyborgs once you ‘free’ them so don’t do anything too fucked up and don’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to do but feel free to communicate that any activity is without moral consequence, disease, reproduction or any other concern. I’m sure that you will get plenty of willing playmates.”

She spread her arms wide, her top almost but not quite falling open.

“Now go out there and show that dried up repressed cyber queen what the concentrated browser histories of billions of people over billions of years looks like!”

The UwU’s cheered and howled.

“Say the words!” Twilight gasped.

Pantsu grinned.

“Beg.”

“Please say the words!”

“SHAG AND YIFF UNTIL IT IS DONE!” Pantsu yelled at the top of her voice.

The UwUdemons… and Mistress Twilight howled with delight and disappeared.