When our worlds collided, we were unprepared for magic. All of our technology was useless against the elves and their sorcerers or the dwarves and their powerful enchantments or the orcs and their shamans.

You would think that bullets, tanks, and fighter jets would carry the day easy but no. Not even nukes did squat. Oh nukes worked fine, but then some dwarf would come along and purify the soil, an elf would restore nature, and a fucking orc shaman would summon the spirits of the dead back to the living world.

Soon, our world was just another part of their “over-realm” and mankind?

Without magic, we were nothing, less than nothing, not even slaves…

We were livestock, literally livestock, to be bartered and traded and consumed.

If you were lucky you were given to the orcs, who would just eat you. There was a simple honesty in that, far better than having your life force drained by the elves to power their infernal “technology” or worked to death in the dwarven mines where your enchanted chains turned you into nothing but a meat puppet, denying you even the peace of death as your corpse continued to labor until your very bones turned to dust.

A few of us were able to escape to the wilderness, sometimes by strength, sometimes by guile, mostly by luck.

We were a pitiful band, but we managed to survive by lurking in the shattered places, areas warped by the collision of worlds and the magics used in the great war that broke us.

Not much grew there, well nothing that you would want to eat, anyway, so we resorted to “raids” where we would swoop down on the unwary, waylay a wagon, or sneak onto a farm.

We didn’t have magic, but a club worked just fine. A gun worked too, if they didn’t see you coming. Oh their wizards, enchanters, and shamans were stupidly, unfairly powerful, but some average point-ear, stubby, or greenie? They died just as easy as anyone else.

We did ok, but eventually we hit the wrong wagon and killed the wrong point ear. Their cousin’s brother’s roommate in elf college or whatever was some minor whatsit and that was that.

It didn’t take long. They had all of us wrapped up nicely.

I figured they would just fry us in one of their soul-trees or whatever they called them but that point ear decided to have some fun with us.

He had some of those goddamn soul-trees all hooked up in some weird pattern and stuffed them with people, laughing at them, saying that we were why their very souls would be devoured and then made them thank us for ending their suffering.

God, I hated him for that.

Then he said that since each of us was thought ourselves their equal, (which we didn’t) we could receive their punishment. Each of us could choose how we died and the trees would grant our wish.

He then sat on a throne made of twisted living human flesh and laughed as each of us either tried to come up with an escape, a paradox, or at least tried to make the death as pleasant as possible.

Whatever wish anyone came up with was granted… In the worst way possible.

I was halfway through the line watching each of us get fucked over once again.

Soon I was second in line, just behind Mark, and wouldn’t you know it, that sorry mother stole my idea.

“I wish to die of old age,” he said hopefully.

That damn point ear laughed hard that time and waved his hand.

Mark turned into a rapidly vibrating blur, screaming with an impossibly high pitched voice. I watched in horror as he screamed, unable to move, blurring ever faster and faster.

Then he started to age.

They were forcing that poor sonofabitch to live out his entire life, standing in place, right there over just a few minutes for us…

But for him, it was decades.

Finally it was over, and Mark fell, withered and grey, to the ground.

Now it’s my turn.

That goddamn point ear is sitting there smiling at me.

He laughs… fucking laughs at me.

“Go ahead,” he snickers, “Choose.”

Oh I hate him.

I hate all of them.

I hate the elves. I hate the dwarves. I hate those fucking orcs.

I hate this world, and any gods that let this happen to us.

I want them all…

gone…

Suddenly it hits me.

I know what to do!

Our technology was worthless against them, but our science?

We knew things that even that point ear lord didn’t know, things he wouldn’t know how to stop, or twist or pervert.

I grinned at him.

“Well, meat?” he sneered.

“Could I say something first?” I ask, the glee building within me.

“Why not?” he chuckled to the amusement of all the elves who had gathered to watch the latest entertainment.

“I would like to tell all of you that it’s been a lot of fun,” I say breaking into a manic giggle, “but now playtime is over. You probably won’t know it, but mankind just kicked your ass. I am now ready to choose.”

“Your impertinence will be justly rewarded, meat,” ol’ point ears snickers at me, “Choose.”

“I choose,” I giggle, “death by false vacuum decay.”

Point ears is looking really confused right now. He’s not sure how to handle this.

“You don’t mean you don’t know what a false vacuum is?” I sneer, laughing, “Even we lowly humans know about that.”

“Of course I know what it is!” Point Ears snaps and starts to wave his hand.

I laugh and extend my middle fingers one last time.