《Legend of the Lost Star》(Chapter 611) B10 C48: Confession
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After a quiet, enjoyable dinner that was interspersed with some impromptu fighting between their feet underneath the table, Gaius got up, footed the bill, and then led Isabelle over to a small park, where he had hidden a whole bag of sparklers. He wasn’t intending on using them yet, however.
This time, however, Gaius was the one to grab Isabelle’s hand, a gesture that made her all flustered. Of course, she wasn’t the only one, but Gaius was never one to be on the defensive where possible.
Again, he had the feeling that he’d been swept up by Isabelle as a whole, but Gaius really didn’t want to think too hard about that. His face warm, he headed over to the seat he had been eyeing for the better half of a day, and then looked around cautiously. Like he’d expected, there wasn’t that many people in the park, which was more than enough for him.
The two of them sat at a park bench.
“Didn’t know a park like this existed in the shopping district,” Isabelle said.
“You’ll only find it through pure luck, or if you wanted to escape the crowd,” said Gaius. “Which one did you think it was for me?”
“To escape the crowd?”
“Surprisingly enough, no,” Gaius replied. “I found this park by pure accident a few hours ago. It was quiet, there were just birds hopping around and talking to each other, and it was a beautiful place.”
He fell silent for a moment, and then sighed. “I said I wanted to tell you everything, right? I’m not sure where to start.”
“Let me guess,” said Isabelle. “Let’s go…with the reason that you were somehow able to overcome a Demigod, without even being a Knight.”
Gaius looked at her. “Did Nexus or Xanadu tell you anything?”
“I simply guessed,” she replied. “Or maybe it was my instinct. I’m not too sure either. But when Nakama spent a lot of time working on that sculpture, I already had my suspicions. And then when someone I didn’t know occupied it, I was beginning to think that you were planning for Nakama’s future.”
Her eyes grew hollow for a moment. “A future without you.”
“I—”
“Do you know how much it hurts, just seeing someone put themselves in harm’s way over and over, just to protect you?” Isabelle asked. “That numbing feeling you get when you see that person fight on and on, when you know that the only reason why he charged into danger was to protect?”
She looked up at the darkening sky. “When that person is someone you owe everything to. When that person is someone who treats you as a cherished one. When that person is…your everything.”
Gaius looked up, just to see lights streak across the dark-orange sky. “At some point…you grew on me too. I wasn’t sure when it started. Was it after I stopped Nox, and came back to see your face? Was it when I spent those peaceful days with you and Nakama, looking out into the future and hoping to spend it together? Or was it even earlier, when I saw me in you, in how you dived in danger to save your own family? I’m not sure.”
“That makes the two of us, then.” Isabelle breathed out. “But if there’s one thing I know for certain in the past three years…it’s that a future without you is…”
Isabelle didn’t complete her sentence.
Laughter, surging with harsh undertones, forced its way out of Gaius, his heart twisting. “Which is why I didn’t want to get involved. In the year I spent in Cybral, I didn’t want to think about you. It hurt so much. And it hurt so much more when I returned, and saw your smile. You gave me so much, and I wanted to give you back more. But I can’t.”
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“Why?”
It was a simple question. A single word. And yet, Gaius couldn’t find the words. The agony in his chest was too much for him to open his mouth, and it was all he could do to grip the bench with his hands.
Warmth clasped his left hand. “Why?”
Gaius looked up. “My future…is not in this world. Even if we defeated the Demon God, I will not have much time left. Once five years pass, or when the demon invasion is defeated, I will disappear from Orb.”
The warmth gripping his left hand tightened. “Why?”
“I made a deal. There was no other way.” Gaius closed his eyes, and felt a damp warmth stream down his face freely. “It was my fault. I was too weak. The Human God’s familiar spirit was not something anyone could defeat. Without it, it’s possible that none of us would be alive today.”
“What deal did…”
“An eternal servitude, dedicated to fighting off the enemies of life.” His words were slow, and Gaius could feel the terror he felt in them, the terror he felt towards his fate. “Forever. As an immortal existence, divorced from the world. What good would it do for us to get together, only to be separated in the end? It’d just give both of us false hope. You’ll be in pain. I don’t need that.”
Wiping his eyes dry, he turned to look at Isabelle. “If I was to be torn away from you, my mind might not survive it either. Orb does not need a mad Abyss Sovereign. Therefore, I—”
A gentle warmth enveloped him.
“Did you not get what I said?” Gaius asked, his voice cracking. “There’s no way—”
“I don’t care.” A muffled voice replied. “Idiot. I don’t care. There’s...there’s still so much time, right? We can work something out, definitely!”
“I’ve tried!” Gaius tried to break free, but he couldn’t — wouldn’t — muster up any strength. “I’ve tried. I’ve tried…there’s nothing. There’s nothing I can do. Nothing.”
“I don’t care.”
“I’ve tried everything! I’ve asked, begged, grovelled, but there’s nothing Weiwu can do! He’s going to die soon, and I have to replace him! No one else can! And if I don’t, everything I’ve worked so hard for will be destroyed!”
Gaius shuddered, his voice turning into a bellow. “I don’t want that either! I want to be with you, to be with Nakama, to be with this world! I want to see the world beyond the Demon God, the future! I want to do it with everyone!”
Fatigue filled him. “But there’s nothing for me. And it would just hurt you, me and everyone else when I finally vanish.”
A set of shiny eyes looked at his own. “I don’t believe that.”
“Why won’t you understand? There’s no hope if we carry on like this!”
Two hands touched his face, preventing him from looking away. “Are you really resigned to such a fate?”
“You don’t want to either, right?” Isabelle’s calming voice continued. “You came here, dressed like this. You came here, and did everything I would do too. You came here, and told me everything.”
Her forehead pressed down on Gaius’ own. “Your words contradict your actions, silly. And that’s why I don’t care. I don’t care about anything else. You wanted me to turn you down. I won’t do that. I’ll never do that.”
“I—”
“I saw your true wish earlier. While we were walking.” Isabelle’s gentle eyes stared deep into his, and the despair Gaius felt ebbed like the tide. “Part of you thinks that you should be alone until that time comes. The other part—”
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“That other part is having a nice dream.”
“Does it really matter?” Isabelle broke the hug, and then rubbed his nose. “Why do you care so much about the future? I don’t care about it. All I care about is you and my family.”
“It is my destiny,” Gaius whispered. “If I run from it…”
“Then we’ll face that destiny when you come to it. Together.”
Clenching his fist, Gaius looked away. “It will hurt you!”
“I don’t care.”
“Orb might face a foe on the level of the Demon Sovereign!”
“Then let them condemn me for it!” Isabelle turned his face back to face her. “I will not watch you face your destiny alone! No more! Even if you vanish one day, I will find a way to you! I’ve had enough of you doing everything alone!”
“There’s no way you’ll ever find me,” Gaius said. “My destiny is to suppress the Crying Abyss for all time. It is not a place where mortals or even gods can go. Your journey will…will…”
“Weiwu, the Chanter of Innocents,” Isabelle muttered.
“Huh?”
Her eyes alight, she turned to Gaius. “Do you think he’ll agree if I beg him to let me help you?”
“Are you crazy?! Why…why would you go that far?! After everything I’ve said!”
Isabelle smiled. “Do you really not know? No matter what you say, you’ll never dissuade me. You’ve done so much for me. This is nothing. Nothing in comparison. Even if you vanish without a trace, I will chase after the smallest clues until my dying breath.”
Gaius tugged at his hair. “Isn’t it possible that whatever you’re feeling right now is just obligation? It might be transient! Signing away your future like that is not worth it!”
“I don’t care.”
“You, you, you…you’ll be the death of me!” Gaius slammed a fist into the bench, and a small crack appeared in it. “What must I do to make you give up?”
“You can’t.”
“What do you like about me? I’ll change it!”
“Everything.”
“That doesn’t make any sense at all!” Gaius hung his head, shaking it slowly. Despite the overwhelming frustration he felt, he couldn’t help but feel touched. He didn’t know that it was possible for someone to go this far for someone like him, and—
“Love doesn’t need to make sense, does it?”
“Does it not bother you that I have memories of my past life?” Gaius asked, tired. “That these feelings you harbour could be because of my natural advantage in life experience? Furthermore, you’re physically older than me; isn’t that also an issue?”
“That’s not possible. And you’re an exception.”
Gaius tried to form other arguments, but there was nothing he could think of anymore. “I…will you really go with me, if the time comes? We’ll be alone, facing the madness of Orb forever. You’ll probably never see your family again. Your friends. Nakama. Xanadu. Galina.”
“You can do it. I don’t why I can’t.”
“It is my destiny. Not yours.”
“I’m already joining you at World’s End. It’s just an extra step.” Isabelle pressed on.
“It’s possible that you might grow to hate me a thousand years later, only to be unable to leave.”
“Never happening.”
“I might die in in the course of duty, leaving you alone,” Gaius continued. “You’ll be alone forever at that point.”
“I’ll just follow you,” Isabelle replied, a gentle smile on her face. “Give up, Gaius. I cannot dissuade you from your sense of responsibility — but neither can you stop me from pursuing my own happiness. I will never give up, unless your heart is sincere in telling me so.”
Her hands, which had been on his face, tilted his face up, and once again, Gaius saw the affection in her eyes. “Tell me…is your heart sincere in asking me to give up? I don’t want to hear it from any other viewpoint. Do you…”
She gulped. “Love me too?”
Gaius covered her hands with his own, but he couldn’t tear away from her gaze. “You’re playing dirty.”
“All’s fair in love and war,” Isabelle replied, her voice trembling somewhat. “What’s your answer? Don’t make a girl ask twice.”
“Yes.”
“Say the words.”
“I…” Gaius took a deep breath, having abandoned any further thoughts of making her give up. He looked up at the sky, at the great beyond, but the fear he held towards his destiny had vanished.
The next words came out without any preparation. “I love you. Will you be with me forever?”
A stone seemed to roll away from his heart at those words, and in that instant, his body felt unbelievably light, lighter than he’d ever felt before. The second sentence had slipped out so naturally, and yet…
Was it a natural outcome?
He wasn’t quite sure. The night sky, however, was unnaturally beautiful, despite a lack of stars. Illuminated by the city lights, the night seemed to turned into a veil of misty loveliness, one that draped around Isabelle in that moment of silence.
“Yes. Gladly.”
The two of them drew close together. Under the faint ambient light, Gaius watched as Isabelle closed her eyes, and understood — despite his lack of experience whatsoever — what to do next. His heart beat madly, his mind somewhat empty, but the only thing he knew was to press onwards.
Time seemed to pass by in a blur. Gaius couldn’t quite describe how his first kiss went, but his heart, which had been on a drumroll, had fallen silent entirely. The two broke apart a few seconds later, but whatever remaining walls that seemed to separate them had fallen apart entirely.
In silence, the two leaned on each other. Gaius wasn’t sure how Isabelle was feeling right now, but if it was anything like his own emotions, she was probably flustered, overjoyed and at peace.
Their hands linked together, Gaius and Isabelle looked up into the sky.
“Now that I think about it,” said Gaius, “Eternal lovers does have that ultra-romantic feeling to it, right?”
“I do like that idea.”
“For some reason, I feel entirely defeated, though.” Gaius tilted over and laid down on her lap. “My arguments all just taken down like this…”
Isabelle’s face blotted out the sky, an impish grin on her face. “Does it really matter at this point?”
Soft hands touched his face, and Gaius relaxed. “No. Not anymore. After all—”
“—We’ll be together forever.”
“—We’ll be together forever.”
The two smiled, and Isabelle brought her face close once more.
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