《Legend of the Lost Star》(Chapter 588) B10 C25: Attachments and emotions
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Gaius finally found it in himself to open his eyes, and with it, came a comfortable, warm sensation of being embraced. Two arms were wrapped around his chest, and for a moment, Gaius had the feeling that he had a new occupation — bolster. Lingering in the lovely softness of her hug for a few more minutes, Gaius forced himself to stay awake despite the burgeoning desire of his subconscious to sleep for a while longer.
Only when the first rays of sunlight start creeping into the room did Gaius reluctantly decide that it was time for him to wake up.
Gently prying her arms away, Gaius sat up, wincing only when he felt his body, which had lain unused for three whole years, protest vigorously with an outburst of agony. Fighting off the sudden onset of pain, the boy looked around at the room, and rolled his eyes. Nakama and La-Ti, who had been sitting on the floor last night, was now sprawled around messily on the ground and sleeping.
Nexus was gone. Presumably, the messy mass of humans in a single room had driven the artificial intelligence into another room.
Groaning lightly, Gaius glanced at Isabelle, who was napping away happily with a peaceful expression on her face, before wriggling away slowly. It hurt, sure, but pain was infinitely preferable to disturbing her slumber, and after navigating through Nakama and La-Ti’s sleeping frames, he finally got to the bathroom.
Splashing some water on his face, the boy glanced at his reflection, annoyed. He was still as short as ever.
Sixteen or so years old, and still around a hundred and forty centimetres tall. This is mortifying. Should I make a point to drink milk from now on? Scrubbing his face, Gaius messed around for a few more moments, before sneaking out of his own bedroom…which was an odd sentiment to harbour, when the boy thought about it.
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Gaius raised an eyebrow when he looked at the living room. It was noticeably more austere than he last remembered it, although judging from the copious amounts of fluffy cushions that replaced the usual sofas, it wasn’t from the lack of money.
After looking around to make sure that everyone was still asleep, Gaius sidled over to the mass of cushions and sat down on them. They were nice and soft, so he took it a step further by lying down completely on them.
Wriggling his hands and feet, Gaius exhaled loudly. It was a great sensation to be engulfed in softness, but Isabelle hugging him still felt better, and—
What am I exactly thinking about? Gaius caught his line of thought, but he didn’t dare to take it to its logical conclusion. He had a feeling that a full extrapolation of that particular sentiment would fill him with a bevy of emotions that would make him fear what the future had in store for him.
Especially since he knew what his future was.
Taking a deep breath, Gaius silenced his mind, focusing fully on the cushions at hand, but for some reason, he couldn’t do that anymore. Gaius was now aware of a profound emotion that he didn’t dare to name, something that he didn’t dare to touch.
Clearly, returning from Cybral had made him more emotional, more sensitive. Breathing out slowly, Gaius decided to stop thinking entirely, dedicating his mind to the enjoyment of the various cushy sensations under him. Letting the fog in his mind expand, he soon lost himself in the comfort those cushions provided.
He soon lost track of time. Staring at the white ceiling was surprisingly comfortable and calming, and for a moment, Gaius was reminded of his past life. Those memories were returning at an increasingly faster rate, and the one that he just seen was about the myriad days of idyllic peace after he retired from his assassination work.
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Somehow, these memories seemed more and more foreign. In the past year, he rarely experienced any moments of full immersion into his past life’s memories, though in their defence, most of them were about the little things in life. The more important memories, however, still eluded him — the reason behind his death, the reason behind why he spent his later years caring for the orphaned and the abandoned…
He could, however, make a rough guess at the sudden change.
Gaius just didn’t want to do that right now. After all, he had an eternity awaiting him. Such revelations were better left for the immortal and the undying, which he hadn’t quite attained yet.
“Master Gaius.”
The fog in his mind cleared, and his vision shifted from the ceiling to the source of the voice. A little sculpture — which, upon closer inspection under a more awake mind, had been clearly redesigned into that of a robot — was standing to the left of his head.
“Morning, Nexus.” Gaius paused for a moment. “Huh. It’s been three years since I last said that, eh?”
“Yes.” Nexus’ voice shuddered, and for a moment, Gaius could sense that his buddy was overcome with emotion. “A very good morning to you too.”
“The others are still sleeping in my room,” Gaius replied, “although by the looks of it, Isabelle’s the one who kept it dust-free the whole time.”
“Indeed. She spent a lot of time watching over you while you were recovering,” said Nexus. “When she found out that you were actually awake and conscious in that…Cybral, Isabelle cried for the next three days.”
“That might be a tad excessive,” Gaius noted, frowning slightly. “Why?”
“No one knows for sure, but I believe she feels that she is, in part, guilty of making you fall into a coma back then,” said Nexus.
“That’s not true,” Gaius replied. “My choice back then was mine and mine alone. True, I fought that familiar spirit because she and Nakama were onboard the Unity, but I did that of my own free will.”
“I know. So does Nakama, as well as Isabelle herself.” Nexus rubbed its head, which was more of a helmet now. “But oft times, emotions override logic. She knew the truth, true, but it’s far harder to convince one’s own emotions. It’s the same for you, no? Your mental state, back when you were bringing everyone else to flee from the East, was remarkably similar to that of Isabelle’s.”
“Was it?”
“I believe I’m a far better judge, by virtue of being an onlooker. Fortunately, you got rapid closure, but the same couldn’t be said for Isabelle,” said Nexus.
“What should I do, then?”
“To begin with, you should take a good look at your emotions. If you ask me, I believe the emotion named ‘love’ should be sitting at the very top.”
“What?”
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