With the [HammerTime] keyword command, the hammer parts disappeared from my legs, going back into [Inventory] and then reappearing in their proper configuration on the staff. The overall weight of the hammer was a bit more than I was expecting in practice and I nearly toppled over as I swung it around. I caught Elita stifling a giggle and gave her a wink... which with a single working eye was completely lost on her.

“Alrighty then, let’s establish a baseline...” Once I found the proper rhythm for swinging the weapon around, it was just a matter of building up the momentum and then letting it crash into something. When enough momentum built up, though, the thing really wanted to get away from you and just holding onto it was the challenge.

I spun around and slammed the blunt end into a section of log that had been setup for me to test things on. The force of the blow lifted the heavy log into the air and back several feet. It wasn’t the anime sort of smash I was hoping for but since the log must have weighed a couple hundred pounds I’d take it as a good result.

I repeated the test with the spiked end of the hammer and succeeded in impaling the log and getting my hammer stuck. Elita was full on laughing now and I thought about giving her “the finger”, but since I actually lacked a middle finger, I had to settle for a hand flip under the chin. She just gave me a confused look. I added rude gestures to the growing list of things about this world that I’d need to research.

With the log knocked over, and me pulling on the hammer with both feet on top of the log, I managed to pull it free. The sudden release of which sent me flying backward and onto my back. I looked up at the peaceful sky and listened to the gentle sounds of Elita laughing her head off.

I shook my head and got back up, dusting the dirt off of me as best I could and initiated the [Plasma()] function. A thin layer of plasma formed on the blunt end of the hammer, radiating heat. I went into my hammer swing, building momentum again and guided it into an overhead strike coming down onto the log.

The impact did a bit of damage to the log, but the plasma layer exploded in all directions, spraying burning hot plasma in a radius of ten to twelve feet. The plasma cooled quickly but everything that was touched was instantly scorched or actively burning.

I triggered the [Vibe()] function and could feel the spiked end of the hammer begin vibrating at a high frequency. The vibrations went down the staff handle and into me and as I stood there, everything began shaking and I felt like the entire planet was vibrating. I shut off the function and everything went back to normal.

“Okay, not what I was expecting... let’s try that again but in time with an attack.” I spun around in a circle, allowing the weight of the hammer to build momentum then angled my spin so that the swing pulled me upward with a jump allowing me to get higher than I might normally under the weight of this added armor. As I hit the apex of the swing I engaged the [Vibe()] function and slammed the spiked end of the hammer down onto the scorched log. The force of the attack shattered the log sending clumps and chunks of burning wood flying in all directions.

As I stood up amidst this burning wreckage, it was hard not to feel like some sort of action hero. Well, until I saw Elita giving me a critical look.

“Okay Elita, out with it,” I said, resting my arms on the hammer.

“Well... I’m happy to see you testing these things before you actually get into combat. Not everything went as you expect it, right?” She started.

“True... but?”

“But it’s just too slow. The attacks have a lot of potential to do a lot of damage, but if you can’t land a hit then it doesn’t matter.” she said, matter-of-factly and walking out to meet me. “Come. No magic attacks,” she added as she dropped into an unarmed combat stance.

I nodded and hefted up the hammer, going into a power swing like I had before. I brought the hammer around, but Elita was ready and ducked inside my swing. She spun around and palm-striked the head of the hammer out of my grip while giving me a spinning elbow to the chest, knocking me back.

“Every movement is big and shows off what you’re doing,” she said as she tossed the hammer back to me.

I caught the hammer and tried again. I tried changing up the angles of attack but I could see how it was just a matter of finding my rhythm to time a counter attack or dodge my attack. I didn’t think that the weapon itself was wrong, it was how I was using it. I changed my grip up and instead of treating it like a wrecking ball on a chain, I choked up on the staff with a hand at the base of the hammer head and the other at the staff mid-point.

Using the hammer head as a pivot point, I whipped the end of the staff around, aiming for Elita’s knees. The attack wasn’t as fast a sword, but it was much faster than the hammer strikes had been. She was still able to dodge out of the way but as she backed up, I thrust with the hammer end allowing my grip to loosen extending the reach the length of the staff and catching it at the end.

This time, she brought her arms up to cross block and I used the weight of the hammer end dropping to flow into a vertical spin, lunging forward in an overhead strike. She twisted her body and just barely dodged the attack. The force of the attack pulled me forward until the hammer hit the ground, while she continued her spin and caught me with a spinning backfist to the back of the head.

I tumbled forward and nearly impaled myself on the end of the staff but turned my tumble into transforming to bike mode. I clamped down on my front brakes and peeled out the rear tire, spraying Elita with dirt.

“No fair!” she called out as she covered her eyes.

I spun around and gunned the throttle, directly for her. Just before impact, I shifted back to bot mode leading with the hammer head right for her stomach. The strike connected! She fell backward with the force of the blow and grabbed the hammer head as she went, pulling me along. Next thing I knew, I was unarmed and flying upside down away from her.

I hit the ground, rolling from back to feet and turned around to face her, ready for the next move. She looked a bit slower than I thought she’d be to get up and instinctively was holding her stomach. When she stood, she used the hammer for support.

“Oh no!” I yelled, rushing over to her. “I’m sorry! I got carried away, let me check you for damage.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she waved me off, “that was good. Remember to use all the tools and tricks you have available to you. Don’t just stick to a single weapon when something else will work better.”

“Yes teacher,” I said, giving her a fist-in-palm bow.

She gave me a light chop to the top of the head, “weirdo.”