AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJIKA

"..."

OOOOOOOOOREEE

I stare in awe at what seems to be a three-foot green humanoid wearing pelts and jewelry. A real feral goblin is screaming while it's running around in circles. A level 70-ish [Frozen Lynx] is playing with its food. Should I step in? I don't want to play hero for nothing. If the goblin attacks me, I'll have to kill it.

Might as well try. Since the goblin is blinged-out, its "tribe" probably has some culture, if it even has a "tribe." I can't even tell if it's a boy or a girl. I've never seen a goblin before.

Let's try for a one shot with Flash Gordon.

[Empower] [Fragmentation] [Elemental Attunement] [Living Fortress]

-518

-514

-496

-518

-519

I aimed for center mass, and Flash Gordon did the rest. His fragments entered the ice-coated lynx and instantly killed it. The goblin is still running around in fear, not even noticing that the danger is gone.

[Goblin lv35]

It doesn't give a rank, meaning that the system treats this individual as a person rather than a monster, curious.

I walk up to the creature.

"Hello there, little buddy. You are safe now."

The goblin suddenly stops running around and stares up at me with wonder.

"Ikki baba?"

"..."

Of course, there is a language barrier. Fuck.

"Ikki baba!"

The goblins start jumping and moving happily around me, getting too close for comfort.

"Yes, yes. Ikki baba."

After repeating the words, the goblin seems even more joyful.

[Master, Thisss one can help you communicate with this gremlin.]

"It's a goblin, and how are you going to help? I find it hard to believe you understand the goblin language."

[[Telepathy] can somewhat transcend language barriers. Thisss one didn't know the human's tongue until you became my master. Thisss one learned it from the internet while you were sleeping.]

"...what?"

[Well, thisss one knew enough. Thisss one is now fluent, but thisss one wasn't before. The basis for [Telepathy] is sending intent. It's also the basis of most [Mind] magic.]

"Not so fluent if you keep referring to yourself as 'thisss one.'"

[...]

"I'd appreciate it if you translate my intent for me, Duchess. You are much appreciated."

[...I understand, master.]

"Hey, goblin. Do you have a tribe?"

Duchess must be working her magic since the goblin seemed to react to my words. It grabs my sleaves with its long-fingered hands and starts leading me in a direction. Too bad Duchess can't receive other people's messages, or else I can use her like a telecommunication tower.

[...]

Oh, I forgot that Duchess can pseudo-read my thoughts.

It doesn't matter.

I pick up the goblin and bring it over to the sled. It seems enamored by the Khans that are "hooked" up to it. I don't let it pet any of them while I put him at the front of the sled. After everyone is on board, I let the goblin lead.

The journey ends after over an hour of travel through the woods. The goblin's settlement is on the other side of the woods from where my bungalow is.

Wooden walls to keep the winds and beasts away are guarded by groups of goblins wearing primitive hide armor but wielding metal weaponry. It's strange.

The goblin guards almost shit their pants when they saw our approach, or I would've if I was them. Seeing over fifty sharks flying towards you, pulling an almost thirty-foot-long snake and whatever Rob is now.

Their spears are raised but lower once they see the little goblin dude. The one about to blow into a brass horn stops and starts waving his hands. The little goblin dude waves back, shouting, "Ikki baba!"

The goblins started their best parrot impression, copying the goblin and yelling, "Ikki baba!"

One goblin yells at another one perched up on the wall, and that goblin replies the same thing and runs off into the settlement. I hope the goblin language isn't just two words, or else I'm screwed.

The goblin dude looks back at me and starts speaking.

"Kon gi yagami?"

"What."

"Saka jib?"

Fuck. Even with more words, I have no idea what the goblin is saying. I'm assuming the guy is a dude because he smells like one. I stand away from the goblin and wait to see what happens.

The gates open a female goblin walks out wearing the most pristine furs compared to the other goblins. Her black hair is adorned with gold and silver.

Her stature only reaches three feet tall, but that doesn't stop her from bowing to me and speaking out.

"Ju la Ikki baba?"

"Sorry, I don't speak your language."

"Arng ger jung?"

"Nope."

What language was that? It's different, more guttural.

"Do you speak Elvish?"

"Oh. Yes, I do."

Thank you, language class. I should learn more languages in my downtime.

"Thank gods. If I had to start doing interpretive dance, I'd jump in a hole and die from shame. So are you the Ikki baba?

"I still don't understand what that means, sorry."

"Oh, I guess a translation would be the Goblin Savior? It's an archaic term for a hero we goblins have in our mythos. The story goes that when the Ikki people are in dire straits, our savior would come from the primordial mud and lead us to salvation."

"Uh..."

"Nowadays, it has a different meaning. It's more generalized for 'Friend of the Goblins.' Since over time, we grow distant from the old ways."

"Interesting, I did save this goblin from a [Frozen Lynx] a great distance away from here, so I can see why I am an Ikki baba."

"Yes indeed, but more importantly because you are the first person we've seen for generations."

"What?"

~

The goblin introduced herself as Jatan, the lore-keeper, and welcomed me into the village. She walked me past the tiny huts and led me to the tallest building while illuminating the history of this clan.

The Jungi people were proud goblins that escaped their inherent savagery and excelled at ironworks, so much so that they caught the ire of a jealous dwarf clan. That was the second language she spoke, dwarven.

The dwarfs waged war for the sole reason of not wanting to be outclassed by mere goblins and "nuked them back to the stone age."

That wasn't her exact words, but I got the gist. Before the goblins could recuperate, the event I know as the Collision happened. It was an armageddon for these people, space literally riped, and the land changed forever. The many settlements of the Jungi people could still only recover to this state after all this time.

I took everything she said with a grain of salt since the information is probably biased or missing crucial context, but it doesn't matter if she is straight-up lying to me. I don't pity these people or will be influenced to sob stories. If I become the Ikki baba, I wanted to, not because I needed to.

I give them the wolf meat and tell her that it could be tainted with snow poison, but she affirms me that they have methods of getting rid of it. I'm given a guest house, but I'd rather stay with my beasts.

A random popup appears in front of me.

[Ring of Thorns D (Degraded) > Ring of Thorns C (Degraded)

This ring is a long-lost relic from a bygone age. The ring has heavily degraded and will need to be fed.

Effect One: The ring cannot be taken without the owner's consent.

Effect Two: The ring may reflect (10%) damage taken before mitigations back to the attacker in the form of thorns.

Effect Three: Unlock the skill Bramble Blade.

Effect Four: Unlock the ability to Germinate.

Effect Five: Unknown.]

Cool. I instantly activated the skill and regretted it. My health starts draining out of my body terrifyingly fast. A ruby red apple forms from my blood and hovers in front of my chest. It's a constant battle with my health bar as I heal and utilize [Broken Blood] to get enough mana to keep healing. This process goes on for seventeen excruciating seconds. An exact total of six thousand and nine health is drained from me before I collapse.

Luckily the apple wanted no more. After a second, I regenerate above zero life. [Strong Spirit] kept me alive long enough to passively regenerate the tiniest amount of health needed to stay alive.

"I swear to gods that I'll get rid of this ring!"

I'm still inside the guest house, so I go to rest but get rudely awakened.

"Are you really willing to part with that ring?"

I know that voice, oh don't let it be true! I look over and see the scammer goddess.

"What are you doing here? Where are the goods you owe me?"

"Mortal named Ellis, you are passed out on the ground. We are in your consciousness."

"Were you also in my other dream about you?"

"No. However, I am now curious about what a mortal dreams regarding a goddess."

I recall my dreams of me beating her up. Flash Gordon backed me up in my previous fantasies, but now I'm alone.

"I'll tell you for a price."

"Pass. Anyways. about that ring?"

If she is greeding over my relic, I have no idea. She has a perfect poker face, but that won't trick me.

"Nope, nada, not-for-sale, not interested in any price. It's mine and mine alone. Kindly stop asking."

"Defensive, no?"

"Yes, please stop asking about it, and start handing over what you owe me."

"You are quite ballsy for a mortal. What would you do if I didn't pay you off and instead killed you."

"What would I do? What can I do? You are a goddess, and I am a human. No matter what, our interactions will be scuffed. Might as well be direct."

"Hahaha, if only my followers weren't so stuck-up, like you."

Her laughter causes the space to twinkle around us like diamonds, but her personality does a 180s and goes very serious.

"However, a goddess demands respect, so behave yourself. Since no deal is happening today, I don't need to give niceties."

She reaches into her suit jacket and pulls out a glass orb filled with purple energy. The purple material transforms from one state matter to the next in an endless cycle. Solid, liquid, gas, and even plasma.

My eyes brighten up.

"Is that?"

"Yes, feast your eyes on a perfectly contained spacial fracture. But you won't be getting this."

My face sours.

"What?"

"Damn, you would be terrible at poker. I'm not giving you this fracture but will give you a different one."

"Then why show me that orb in the first place."

She doesn't answer and brings out a suitcase from a crack in space. She hands me the whole thing. My fingers tingle as I swear I can hear the voices from the other side whispering sweet nothing to me.

"I realized that you have a strange class. What I've given you would be much more helpful and within the parameters of our original arrangement. Now stop cursing me every night. I can hear it when you convoke my name, you know."

"..."

"And I know about those dreams, you blasphemer. This is your consciousness. I saw it when you started ‘thinking real hard.’"

She disappears with a flash of gold, and I'm left standing and confused with a briefcase. Merita sure is a riot. I wonder if the other divine entities are similar to her.

I wonder if that was really her, my emotions got the better of me, and just accepted the fact that she appeared in my mind. Is she allowed to do that?

I mentally flip a coin and decide to open the case.

*click* *click*

I open the two clasps and get flash banged from whatever was inside.

"FUCK."