“So, we just need to create a . . . fake person?”

“Yeah, that’s essentially it. It’s called branding. You need to come up with a catchy name, and all related healthcare products can be sold under that label. People who trust one product will be more willing to buy others under the same umbrella.”

Rip stood in a small conference room off the front offices of the factory with Sir Brooke, Blair, Douglass, and one other woman who served as Douglass’s assistant. She furiously copied down notes as Rip spoke.

“Help me understand things, Sir Coulter,” Brooke said, trying to fully grasp everything the sergeant had told them. “You want us to lie to the public and tell them a man who does not exist created all these things we will make that you have told us about?”

“Right.”

“Why not just put your name on it?” Douglass said. “‘Sergeant Coulter’s Healing Balm’ has a nice ring to it.”

“No, I don’t have the authority, nor the gravitas, to pitch health products.”

“So it needs to a fake physicker,” Brooke said.

“Right. We’re creating a brand here. The person doesn’t have to be real, but the authority he has for presenting the goods will be very real. Do you see the difference?”

“Not really, no.”

“Trust me on this. You need to come up with something snappy, like . . . ‘Dr. Colfax’s Petroleum Jelly,’ or ‘Dr. Colfax’s Topical Rub,’ and so forth.”

“I thought we were using physickers for our fake person,” Douglass said, confused. “We’re going with a professor?”

“Well, that depends. Who are more respected, physickers or professors?”

“Professors, for sure,” Blair said, maintaining her role as Rip’s societal tutor. “Physickers are on a lower social rung. Tutors and teachers of all kinds are more highly esteemed. They don’t get their hands dirty. It’s one of the more honorable professions, such as the clergy and barristers and the like.”

“Well, there you go. ‘Dr. Colfax’s Line of Home Remedies’ or some such. I don’t know. I’m sure ad people at the newspapers can help you come up with something.”

“Newspapers?” Brooke said, blinking.

“Well, sure. That’s how you’ll advertise the stuff. Maybe your popular magazines, as well. You might want to put up some billboards somewhere, too. But to introduce petroleum jelly as a product, you’ll take ads out in the biggest newspapers with a drawing of the bottle on it. Then you’ll have a pull line in large print, something like ‘Dr. Colfax’s Petroleum Jelly. Soothes burns and more!’ In smaller print you’ll mention a couple more reasons to buy, then end with something like, ‘Available in drugstores everywhere.’”

“What’s a drugstore?” Douglass said.

Blair said, “I think he means apothecaries.”

“We should probably sell a batch to the military first,” Sir Brooke said. “I’ll reach out to my contacts in the Navy and start that boulder rolling. If I can secure a military contract, that will pay for all the retooling needed to produce the stuff.”

Rip said, “You can work that into the marketing, too. ‘It’s good enough for His Majesty’s Navy. It’s good enough for little Billy at home!’ Or something. I’m not the best with ad copy.”

“Well, you’re getting us on the right track, no doubt,” Brooke said, glancing at the young woman furiously jotting down notes. “Now, are there other items we should know about from your world?”

“I did notice you don’t have much in the way of toothpaste. There’s not a lot of dental hygiene going on around here, from what I can tell.”

The young woman looked up from her note-taking and said, “Dental . . . hygiene?”

“Yeah. I did a research paper on the history of toothpaste in college. There is a naturally occurring chemical known as fluoride. In the wells in which it shows up, people drinking the water have far fewer cavities. But you have to be careful, because too much fluoride will permanently darken teeth, and no one wants that. So, if you can develop a paste with maybe some abrasives . . . things like aluminum hydroxide and calcium carbonite, then just a smidgen of fluoride mixed in, and get people to brush their teeth twice a day with it, you’ll improve the empire’s health. Because a person’s health is linked to their dental hygiene. Meanwhile you’ll earn a tidy profit on every batch of toothpaste sold.”

He stopped and noticed everyone staring at him.

“You can corner the market on toothbrushes, too, I bet. They’re easy to make. Just put some stiff boar fur on the end of a thin six-inch wooden handle. Encourage people to buy new ones every few months when their old ones wear out. You can start with dentists and let them have toothpaste and toothbrushes at wholesale so they can pitch it to their patients. A few ads won’t hurt, maybe explaining the need to brush every day using Dr. Colfax’s toothpaste. You can emphasize how it will make their smile brighter. Everybody wants a brighter smile. Push the anti-cavity idea on the back end.”

The young woman resumed jotting down notes as fast as she could write.

“Now, you might want to start producing toothpaste in very wide and shallow jars so that the brush can dip into it and scrape some up. But I’m going to tell you right now, that’s not very hygienic. It will be best for everybody if as quickly as possible you develop tubes to dispense the toothpaste. Have them open on the back on the assembly line, and fill them in and seal the back off. The user uncaps the front and squeezes out a line of paste on their brush. Like this.”

He pantomimed showing them how to start brushing teeth.

“Everything rinses off with water in the sink. At least you guys have running water, so that part is easy.”

“Yes,” Brooke said, clearing his throat. “Water towers went up across Umbria decades ago.”

“One more thing about toothpaste tubes,” Rip said, suddenly remembering something from his college paper. “There will be an urge to make the tubes out of lead, since lead is so easy to manipulate. But, eventually it will be discovered that lead is a toxin and builds up in the body over time with horrific results. Lead pipes are useful with water, because they don’t rust. But if water sits in the pipes, lead leaches into the water. It can also be hazardous in leaded crystal, on wine seals and in other containers made of lead, and in paint. So if you start putting toothpaste in tubes, do everyone a favor and avoid making them out of lead.”

The men looked at him with horror-stricken faces. The woman kept scribbling furiously.

Blair wore a thoughtful expression.

She softly asked, “What did your world use instead of lead tubes for toothpaste, Ripley?”

“Oh, we switched to plastic a hundred years ago or so.”

The writing stopped and everyone stared at him for a moment.

Sir Brooke said, “Plastic?”