《Playing with the Dead: The Dark Art of Bullshit》Esmeralda's - CH 21
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I bowed to the perfectly average stalker that had been following me, as I politely told him to scram. I even managed to smile, showing my not so perfect teeth. As I watched him practically skip away from me through the back alleys, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was still being watched. Spies were like rats. Where there was one, there were a dozen lurking under the floorboards, hiding in the dark, watching with their beady little eyes. All I could do was act as if nothing was amiss, as I continued my quest to save Azog from excess comfort.
Five minutes ago, I would not have noticed the strange tapping of a homeless person’s feet as I passed, the crow who cried out as trotted by his perch, or the cat playing with a ball of yarn. Maybe the cat was a coincidence, but if that was the case, then where had he gotten the yarn? I was being perfectly reasonable and not paranoid in the slightest. Certainly, I was sane. Sane people fidgeted at the slightest movements; sane people protected themselves from unseen dangers. Yes, I was sane.
My eyes darted around, until I was able to lock onto the unappealing off-white exterior that was synonymous with taking my money. By the time I had reached the door, my hands trembled and my nerves were shot. I might as well have been facing Malkor the Devourer as I reflexively closed my eyes and pushed the doors wide open, waiting to be doomed to eternal suffering. I could not fathom the horrors that lay beyond this door now that I had unveiled the truth.
“Welcome back! You look awfully tired from your trek into the city. It’s dangerous to travel through the city alone. Looks like you need some emergency comfort.” stated Miss Alice from behind the bar. She smiled, showing off her nice teeth.
“I’m really good. I’m fine. I just, well, was wondering where my friend Azog was. I’m, I’m a paying customer.” I fumbled the words out of my mouth, partially due to the lack of sleep, partially because of the stress that made my heart hammer.
“Oh, Azog is busy getting a back rub. Would you like to join him?” asked Miss Alice. Her voice was soothing and alluring.
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“Sure.”
“Right this way, sir.” Miss Alice beckoned me into the backroom, admittedly the room was nice. Inside the room, stood potted plants, an indoor stone plaza, and a line of tables where people were getting rubbed on. Across the room, at one of these tables, sat Azog. I was led to an open table next to him.
“Alric, we need to talk!” I hissed into his ear after Miss Alice had left.
“Maybe, later. I’m busy relaxing. You should just relax, Arthur. Everyone needs to relax.” said Azog. His eyes glazed over me as if he was in a trance.
“I mean it! We’re supposed to be walking around the city, and you were paid to help keep me safe. You didn’t even attempt to look for me! I could’ve been gutted in the streets!”
“Why’d you leave? They have everything you could ever want here. Trust me, just get onto that open table. They’ll have all your kinks worked out in no time. You’ll be as cool as a magically cooled cucumber in no time.”
“Do you hear yourself?! Where is the Azog that traversed the forest? Where is the Azog who actively runs his tavern? It isn’t like you to laze about, like, like, a layabout!”
“Stop making me think, Arthur. The old me, worried and fretted about the little things in life. I was a selfish man with my own ambitions. Now, I live for comfort and to help better the Esmeralda experience.”
I stumbled back in horror. I could not believe my eyes at this shell of a man. In my eyes, he was more of a husk than the degraded skeletons Alric kept locked up in his basement. At that moment, I knew that if I ever dared seat myself on that massage table, I’d be as good as gone. Grog had been right from the very start. I should’ve listened to his wisdom.
“This isn’t you! You need to snap out of this trance, Azog!”
Azog scowled.
“You’re really getting on my nerves, Arthur. I’m my own man. I’m here because I want to be here!” growled Azog. Everyone’s eyes turned to me.
I watched as the masseur ran over to face me. He was ripped and was not wearing a shirt over his oiled up skin. He wore a bandana tied around his bald head. I backed up as he took a fighting position. This was someone who scrapped.
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“You’re bothering our superb clients. Their experience comes first. I will not let a jealous hater ruin this experience gifted to those who provide positive vibes to the Esmeralda experience. Listen closely, because I’ll only tell you this once. Either hop on that massage table and learn how life should be lived or leave and never come back. Just a reminder that Esmeralda’s doesn’t deal in refunds.” stated the masseur.
“I didn’t come all this way, to let my companions become brain dead zombies. I’m afraid I'll have to take Azog with me.”
I pivoted and kicked at the masseur going for his shins. I missed. It turned out the masseur was more than just good with his hands. Faster than I could blink, my foe dashed forward slamming his hand into my face sending me sprawling onto the ground. I tumbled backwards. The masseur didn’t give me a reprieve, as he jumped on me and put me into a choke hold.
My brain scrambled to come up with a solution as the man forcefully squeezed the air from my lungs. I flailed like a fish, but it was no use. My small insignificant muscles were no match for the buff man.
“Help.” I desperately croaked to no one in particular. Then I had an epiphany, an idea solidified in my non-functioning mind. I had bones.
In mere moments, Scraps formed from the bones. I willed my rat companion to scramble up the back of the man choking me and bite down on the man's neck. The masseur screamed and let go of me, trying to remove the rat's chompers that were buried into his neck.
I sucked in some precious air and pulled myself to Azog who was still lying on the table. I hated the complacent vegetable that he had become. The Azog I knew wouldn’t just sit there and complacently watch someone get the shit kicked out of them. I pulled back my fist and hurled it at him. Azog went sprawling off the table, as my fist hit his cheek. Frankly, it felt good. He deserved it for being such a fool.
Azog's head slammed against the hard wooden floor. The big innkeeper clutched his face and let out a loud groan.
“Azog, you selfish bastard, help me for the love of all that is unholy!” I shouted at him.
Azog shot up. The bit of pain jolted him from the intense sense of comfort he had been tricked into.
“What was wrong with me? Wait, is that you Arthur? Why is your face all fucked up and lumpy?”
“No time for questions! Help me fight off that buff masseur before he kills me.”
The masseur had managed to peel the undead rat from his bleeding neck, and was crushing Scraps to little pieces. I felt the strain on my mana and I knew that I would have to let go of the mana threads soon.
Azog stood up just in time to block the masseur from round house kicking me.
“You don’t mess with my friends that easily. Let me show you how to brawl.”
Azog took a fighting stance and beckoned the masseur to fight him. They interlocked in combat so mesmerizing and quick that my eyes could barely comprehend all the kicks and punches they were throwing at each other. Azog was superior as I watched him push the masseur farther and farther into the corner of the room.
I scurried to scoop up what was left of my rat companion and put his remains in my hood. I’d find a way to fix scraps, but the damage to his exterior was extensive. Thump. I pivoted my head to see the masseur knocked out cold.
“Hurry, we need to get out of here, Azog!” I shouted to him.
“Wait! We have to retrieve Rose. I paid good money for her to be a tour guide.”
“She brought us here, and caused whatever the hell this is. Let’s leave her.” I countered.
“I can’t do that. Besides, she wouldn’t have known they’d be so hands on.”
“Fine. Where is she?” I looked around but I did not see her anywhere.
“They have her in the princess suite, deeper within the Inn.”
That couldn’t be good. I let out an exasperated sigh and followed Azog as we delved further into the Inn.
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