《Playing with the Dead: The Dark Art of Bullshit》Box men - CH 19
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As Grog escorted me out of the sewer, the sound of shuffling individuals caught my attention. Maybe Grog’s hearing wasn’t very good, because he seemed to fail to notice the commotion that was coming from outside the sewer.
“Wait! There are people outside!” I panicked.
Grog gave me an odd look, and raised his eyebrow at my comment.
“Are you a hermit? I guessed that would explain why you were hiding in a stinky sewer. You know people aren’t all that bad. Some people even manage to make friends. You could do it too if you took a shower, I reckon.” Grog cheerily said. Too cheerful for my tastes, but it was never good to bash on an optimist.
“Not in the middle of the night! That’s when the thugs come out and the evil box men.”
“Ah. You probably lost track of time. By my guesstimate it's morning. We’re in the silk district, so shopkeepers are probably setting up their stalls.”
As we reached the end of the tunnel I was greeted by the light of dawn. My head felt dizzy as the light hit my eyes. I resisted the urge to pull the hood over my head. I had been up all night, yet I didn't feel tired. It must’ve been the adrenaline, I concluded.
While the broad daylight and lack of risk of being gutted gave me some relief, it presented a very different problem. It was likely that Azog and Rose had woken from their slumber and were looking for me. At least, I hoped they cared enough to look for me. I couldn’t just explain why I had wandered off in the middle of the night.
“Where would I happen to find Esmeralda’s Inn?” I asked Grog.
A bloodthirsty scowl replaced Grog’s usual good natured demeanor. The large muscles that were barely his under his slightly too tight tunic rippled, and the large Ogre clenched his meaty fists. It was the type of rage that people typically only found when fighting enraged barbarians.
“You won’t be making any friends staying at a dump like Esmeralda’s Inn. That’s a terrible place and I pity the fools who have fallen into her spider web of bad hospitality. I would rather die than lead someone to hell itself. You’re not affiliated with that dump are you? ”
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I gulped as I sensed the immense bloodlust coming from the Ogre.
“Well, my tour guide recommended that Inn just yesterday. To be perfectly honest, I found the place somewhat tacky.”
“Very tacky. So you’re a victim? That’s a relief. I wouldn’t want to muddle with anyone willing to work with such an establishment. In fact, now I realize why you tried taking refuge in the sewers. Even the sewers are a more honest and dignified place to sleep than the embrace of Esmeralda and her goons.”
“I take it you don’t get along?”
“No. I would never betray my cousin like that.”
I paused to let Grog cool down just a little bit, before I gained the courage to speak up.
“Isn’t it just an Inn?”
“Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth? Just an Inn! No. No. There are many facets to treating a customer, and Esmeralda throws all the proper procedures out the window. She’s a menace and a danger to society.”
“Then I have a proposal for you, Grog. You see, two of my companions are staying there. Would you be willing to come with me and rescue them?” I asked.
“You’re asking me to do a tall task, small man. What is your name?”
“I’m Arthur.”
“Well, Arthur, it’ll be treacherous. Once Esmeralda’s goons smell my scent they’ll know something is amiss. Are you ready to fight for your life; to save the ones you love, who you hold dear?”
“Of Course.”
“I’m afraid I can’t join you on such a mission. While what you’re doing is a noble quest, I’m serious about my vow of never leading someone to that vile place. How will I be able to sleep at night knowing I lead someone into the jaws of a beast?”
“Well, if you don’t help me find my way back to that Inn, it will be the blood of two customers on your hands,” I argued.
“What a moral dilemma. I can’t think like this on an empty stomach. Come let's get some food before we make any important decisions. Luckily Grog’s groggery is close.”
While my eyes felt the discomfort of sensory overload, the city looked better in the sunlight. Instead of dark shadows, I witnessed bright colorful tarps hung outside of packed together buildings. Large crowds of city folk wandered aimlessly down streets looking for the next big deal. Sure, no one needed twelve feet of uncut dark green silk, but it was half price. A good deal was a good deal, and some utility could be found for twelve feet of dark green silk after the fact.
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Grog paid little attention to the greedy customers who were like vultures looking for miss-priced goods. These weren’t your average shoppers and it took great force for me to push my way through the sea of people. Luckily, Grog took his time as he strolled to Grog’s Groggery.
After some walking, we entered an opening that seemed remarkably familiar. At the center of the opening stood a fountain. No place in the city should have been familiar. The feeling of familiarity wasn’t something that typically occurred after staying in a city for a day. So, I wracked my mind trying to think of why this place felt familiar. AH, that’s it, I thought. This was where the box men threatened to gut me. Yet, when I looked around, the box was nowhere to be seen, nor were there any trails of red mana.
“Seen anyone with a box around here?” I asked Grog.
“Still shaken up about these box people. I’m starting to think you’re seeing things that don’t exist. Trust me, if I see someone with a box I’ll let you know.”
“Fair enough.” I figured too many people already thought I was crazy, or at least a little bit out there, so I decided that the best course of action was to shut my mouth.
Grog’s Groggery coincidently happened to be a building in that very same plaza. Maybe there was a relationship there. It was odd if nothing else. I looked up at the slightly run down building that didn’t stand out among the other slightly worn stone buildings. There was no presumptuous paint, no grand looking doors, no fake looking people doing fake things outside the Inn. This was what an Inn was supposed to be.
There was only one table inside the Groggery, yet it was incredibly long. Numerous chairs were lined up along the table, and customers freely skulled down tankards of brew with one another. Plates of meat and local vegetable dishes covered the table. Customers dug into the ravenous food, clearing plate after plate. A couple of cooks replenished the never ending feast, making sure that the customers never went hungry.
At the bar sat an Ogre who looked remarkably like Grog. I admitted to myself that I could not tell the difference between the two Ogres without the iconic yellow apron that wrapped around Grog’s waist. The Innkeeper Grog that is.
“Welcome to Grog’s Groggery. How can I help a man with such refined tastes.”
“Who, me?” I asked while pointing at myself.
“Who else would I be speaking to? Yes, how can I help you, sir?”
“I’m here for some food and some thinking.” I stated.
“Bring us the food quickly, cousin. This man’s friends are in serious peril and we can’t solve his problem on an empty stomach.” interjected Grog the Janitor.
“What's the problem?” asked Grog the Innkeeper.
“Esmeralda’s. They’ve got his friends in her facility. They’ll be lucky to see the light of day, let alone travel around such a great city.”
Grog the Innkeeper nodded and rushed into the back leaving Grog the Janitor and me alone at his bar. Grog looked into my eyes.
“Does Esmeralda lock her customers inside?”
“Worse, at least then they’d know they’re trapped inside the belly of a beast. No, she provides luxuries that dull the senses of her prey, keeping them inside so she can milk them for every last coin they’ve got. You don’t leave Esmeralda’s with coins. They fleece you for everything that you’ve got.”
“Well, I’m sure Azog hasn’t fallen for that trap. He’s an Innkeeper himself, you know.”
“You underestimate the power Esmeralda wields. Her back massages are legendary, bubble baths intoxicating, her breakfast in bed tantalizing. Frankly, your friends don’t stand a chance. Well, at least they didn’t until you found me.” Grog the Janitor pointed at himself.
“And you’re sure this has nothing to do with the box men?” I asked. It was hard to get my mind off those people in the dark.
“What is it with you and boxes? Maybe.” Grog the Janitor shrugged.
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