As I stood a good distance behind Azog ( in a strategic but definitely not cowardly sort of way), I watched him heave his heavy greatsword as if it weighed nothing. Only the loud clang of metal touching and staggering thieves suggested that this wasn’t the case. I had brandished my new but tinier dagger, but it didn’t look like I’d need to join the fight. Azog was holding his own.

I happened to spot a dead pigeon and contemplated animating it. It would’ve been good practice, but, without feathers, I doubted it would fly. I also doubted it would help in a fight. Besides, I wasn’t keen on revealing myself as a fledgling necromancer. Fledgling necromancers, like all other forms of necromancers, were very illegal. And very illegal things meant painful death.

Azog swung his sword at the thieves; he could not contain the grin on his face. He was enjoying himself. Azog was a barkeeper. What I saw before me, was a warrior. I wondered what exactly Azog had done for coins before opening the least successful bar to ever exist.

“Watch out! The one that I think is a girl is sneaking behind you with a dagger.” I shouted.

Her dagger was long and pointy, a dagger forged from polished steel. People claim that it is not the size of the knife that matters, what matters is how you wield it. That did not stop me from feeling envious, as I tightly gripped what was essentially a measly butter knife.

“You only think I’m a girl?! Are you blind? I’m the prettiest lady for miles! When I’m done killing this brute, you’ll wish you’d have kept your rude comments to yourself!” said the damsel in the red dress as she stabbed at Azog.

Azog danced around the sharp blades like a skilled expert, blocking the inexperienced bandits’ attacks with ease. The bandits fumbled around with their weapons unable to dance like Azog, unable to produce such brutal art. Azog swiveled as the larger of the two bandits stabbed with his short sword, narrowly missing Azog's back. Azog latched onto the bandit, and tossed him onto the other bandit. They stumbled onto the floor like newly born calves.

Azog prided himself in equality of pain. He made sure to distribute it equally among the bandits, as he landed his knee into the damsel in the red dresses’ stomach. She groaned and crumpled onto the floor. Two strikes of his pommel and the other two bandits were also out of commission. The fight was over in about the time it took me to blink.

“You call yourselves bandits? You three don’t fight like bandits. I’ve fought stronger starving goblin children.” Azog commented. By now, I had bravely waltzed to Azog’s side.

The bandits did not respond immediately. The air had been knocked out of them. Eventually, the lady in the dirt covered red dress spoke up.

“As if we couldn’t fight a goblin. Maybe we’re not the best thieves, but we’ve got some natural fighting talent. Squinty was even a farmer, before wandering the roads for some coins. He’s got strength that you won’t find in the cities. Frederick doesn’t have much, but he’s got some spirit.”

As I looked at the bandit, I concluded that what she said rang true. The larger bald headed bandit, Squinty, did have quite a bit of muscle built on his frame. The other bandit, presumably Frederick, was unusually skinny, and small in stature. His long disheveled hair was brown.

“Muscle doesn’t make you a good fighter. It’s the training that makes a man. Why are a lot of you parading around, hurting the good people traveling these roads? Banditry isn’t an upstanding profession.” scolded Azog.

If banditry wasn’t upstanding, I wondered where that put necromancy? I found Azog’s morals a bit odd, sort of like how I found him a bit odd.

“So what if banditry isn’t upstanding? It puts food on the table.” spat Frederick. “We’ve been starving up here for months. It’s not like we’ve had many other options.”

“Shut up, Frederick. I do the talking. That's what he agreed upon.” said the woman in the red dress.

“You’re not the boss of me, Rose. Not anymore. I don’t take orders from people who are crumpled on the floor, and covered in dirt.”

“Shut yer mouths. All of you!” shouted Azog. “This isn’t chit chat. This is a proper scolding. I’m the one doing the talking. Now, what do you mean you can’t put food on the table?”

The bandits paused and eyed each other.

“You don’t know?” asked Rose.

“I don’t know what?”

“The church has begun a crusade on the dark arts. Apparently numerous outcroppings of shady folk keep popping up and the church can’t handle all the evil doers. They’ve locked down the capital and have levied a tax to hire mercenaries to do their job for them. Banditry isn’t taxed like normal jobs, so that’s why we’re out here looting.”

“It’s not taxed because it’s illegal.” I pointed out.

“It might be illegal, but at the very least you can hide the gold. I wouldn’t risk avoiding taxes when you work in the city. That’s how you end up getting flogged.” Squinty added.

A sinking feeling was growing in my stomach. If the capital was under heavy surveillance then it’d be much harder to find the people that I needed to find, let alone convince shady folk to give me information about a vile of blood. I was certain that outsiders would be looked at with extra scrutiny.

“We were just heading to Nostradam to do some sightseeing. I don’t think we’ll run into any trouble.” Azog said.

“Well, they’ll have their eyes on you, but if you don’t do anything suspicious I’m sure you won’t be thrown in a cell and locked up.” Rose spoke.

“They lockup travelers?” I asked.

“They lock up anyone they feel like locking up. The church is the law. Now, if you had a tour guide that would solve your problems.”

“Now where would I find one of those? It’s not like I have a ton of money to go around.” I said.

Rose scowled.

“Isn’t that big guy on your payroll. Some sort of bodyguard?”

“Sort of, but I consider him more of a friend.”

“Well, you're in luck. I can be a great tour guide for a humble fee. I wanted to get out of this nasty banditry business, anyway. Five coppers upfront and I’ll show you around for three days. Two of those coins will go towards paying Squinty and Federick for their emotional trauma and the other three will go to me because I’ll be the one working.” Rose said.

I peered into my coin purse. It was a good deal, although it was hard to trust someone that wanted to slit my throat only seconds ago. Before I could respond, Azog spoke up.

“Deal.”

“We can’t trust her, Azog! She’s a bandit.”

“Awfully, pretentious coming from you, Arthur. Generosity makes the world a better place, and we’re changing lives. They’ll become productive members of society in no time.”

“You’re talking like this is your fixer up inn. Just moments ago they were swinging swords at you!”

“Aye, but not very hard. Plus, I’m the one paying so it's none of your business.”

This seemed like an awfully terrible decision. I did not want to travel with a thief. I let out a heavy sigh and pinched my nose.

“Fine.” I finally uttered. It was anything but fine.