“There have been no additional casualties.” Red’s message begins. “The enemy has moved as we expected. Their patrols and their strike forces are composed mostly of fodder and we’ve exterminated them all so far. Loekan has yet to leave his city, and I expect that he’s making his preparations as we speak.”

“How is your supply of potions and antidotes?” I ask.

“We’re still well supplied. We’re expecting more shipments soon, that alchemist isn’t the most skilled I’ve known but she’s certainly got spirit and energy. It’s a shame she’s too busy to take any fighting lessons.”

“She has class this week, too. I’ll have to talk with her about her schedule.” I send back as I wander my way back to the dorms where Nel and the others should be waiting for Adler and I.

Thinking of Loekan and his army fills me with the rather desperate urge to rush down there and get on with the killing.

Slice open their stomachs and wrap their intestines around one another like the tinsel on a Christmas tree. Knot them all together and drag them over hot coals by their new leashes.

Or, I can focus on getting dinner, since there’s no fighting to be done up here. While I’d love to dungeon dive and get to killing Loekans minions, this isn’t the time for it. Red expects that my appearance will instigate a more serious response that we’re not currently prepared for.

If I go, then there are going to be serious efforts to have me killed, and while that means that I can be rather useful as bait, it also means that I can’t just wander down there whenever I’d like. Red wasn’t the only one making that point clear to me, everyone but Eshya was rather insistent that I keep my head out of everything for a while. Eshya was instead insistent that she come with me to enjoy the slaughter by my side, though it seemed to be her way of telling me that I’m being stupid.

In the dorms lobby I find the others sitting around in the café. It still gets to me sometimes how lovely this world can be when I ignore the inconsistent morals and rules that govern life here. So long as we remain here, we put ourselves under the thumb of a group of mind slave police who would make an awful fuss the moment they realize we can’t be collared.

That thought peels away any momentary ease I might of felt at the otherwise pleasant state of affairs around me. I can only be thankful that there are no current members of that police force here with us today.

Nel delivers Adler and I a cup of tea each when we arrive, the scent some soothing but unfamiliar blend. The mana density of it suggests that she’s traded for it, either in the dungeon, or the grey markets in the ruins just beneath the surface.

“So, we finally have a moment.” Nel says, settling into her own chair as she sips at her own cup of tea. She sits tall, and refined like some noble lady, glancing at us from over her teacup.

“We do.” I acknowledge with a nod and a sigh. For me that merely means a moment where my training is something kept subtle and beneath the surface. My mana still swirls, exploring new patterns within me, though my mind is now relaxed.

When my mana dipped beneath the liquid stage, I lost the ability to boost my mind. It’s not that the changes have come undone, more like they’ve gone into hibernation until there’s enough mana density for them to work again. The same is likely true for my other magically fuelled change, though that’s less of an issue.

“I’d like to ask, how are all of you developing?” I say. “We haven’t really discussed it in a while, with everything that’s going on. For me, my peak mana is around 3500 and I’ve improved a few parts of my body with the liquid stage modifications. My Skills I haven’t put enough attention to lately, however.”

“I’m at 1124.” Eshya says proudly. “I’ve been focusing on developing my muscles, but I don’t have as much mana to throw around as someone does. I can’t really afford those sorts of changes, and I’ve focused on refining my Skills instead.”

“I’ll be liquid in one or two days.” Vii says. “I’m still trying to figure out my other talent.” The others nod knowingly, she must’ve brought it up with them in private too.

“And I’m playing with alchemy. And fighting. And stuff. I’m not as fast as you guys are, but I’ll try to keep up.”

“That’s fine.” I say. “Take your time.”

I’ll be stronger, deadly enough to protect you all. I’ll erase our enemies, see them unmade.

“I have around 2500 mana.” Adler says. “I’ve been developing much faster recently. I’ve refrained from adapting any of my flesh, it’s too expensive for the changes that might actually be worth it. I’ll wait for my crystalline mana stage before any of that.”

“I’m on the verge of liquid stage.” Nel says. “My combat techniques are developing slowly, but most of my attention is focused on management. It’s… enjoyable. Seeing what problems we have, making sure everything goes where it’s needed, and seeing that everyone is doing their jobs as best as they can.

“Our stockpile of goods is no longer depleting, rather it’s growing, and other groups of students in the upper ruins have shown growing interest in trading with us. Others are interested in travelling into the deeper dungeons and would be open to joining our little empire.”

“That’s good.” I say, sitting back as I listen to her speak. It’s rather pleasant to hear that she’s enjoying what she’s been up to.

“I’ve also been going through the Skill list, and employing some of our people in the dungeon to assist with analysing what’s available.” She continues. “I’d like to discuss what Skills we have and how we’d like to develop them before dinner. I have a room in the ruins that would be appropriate.”

“Alright. Is there anything we need to do before we leave.” I say, eager to get moving. New information about these Skills could help me get stronger, and if that means I get to kill Loekan a minute earlier, than I’d like to jump right to it.

Walking down the wide streets, it’s surprisingly busy as the rest of the students seem to be returning from class. A wide selection of races and peoples, most focused on their own business but a few with enough energy spare to be enjoying themselves and annoying others.

I invest my focus internally, letting the others converse while I train. My feet carry me forwards, and I explore what changes are occurring inside me, hoping to adapt faster by understanding it.

My veins and arteries are absorbing the mana’s flow, though I’m not sure I fully understand in what ways they’re changing. Are they more durable? I do feel somewhat more energised. Is it somehow speeding the flow of blood in my body?

The blood itself also needs to adapt, and again I don’t know what is specifically changing about it.

Everything just feels to be working more fluidly, so perhaps it’s nothing I really need to fully understand. The real changes come from what I can manually adapt in the liquid form I suppose, but still it’s nice to feel everything just becoming better.

I stumble into something.

A young man of some ape-like species, hairless and a little pale. More human than most people I see.

He stumbles, but he’s caught by his friends before he can hit the ground.

“Sorry!” he cries out with a laugh, turning his large eyes towards me. “I wasn’t really paying attention. Are you alright?”

Peel off his filthy skin, and carve him into a new shape. Healing potions keep him alive, hardening a new skin over stumps of limbs, connecting parts in new interesting ways. Hands healed into place over his eyes, legs cut short and reconnected again at the knee. Heart exposed to the world as he suffers and dies.

I tremble, repressing the thoughts.

“Sorry. Me neither.” I say through clenched teeth. He did nothing to me.

These thoughts are getting worse, but it’s the satisfaction I feel as I imagine myself doing these awful things that really turns my stomach.

I can’t keep going like this.

“I’m Greg.” He says a different name, but I force the name ‘Greg’ onto him instead. I don’t need new alien names to distract me right now.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you but we have somewhere to be.” I say, waving him away.

“Ah, do you mind exchanging messages?” He asks, bouncing up to my side with an eager smile.

Flay-

No.

“Sure.” I say, holding back my violent desires. “But I’ll have you know that I’ve already romantically taken and have no interest looking for anything more in that regards.” Not with you at the very least.

“Ah,” He nods laughing it off. “I’ll be honest, that kind of sucks, but it’s still nice to get to know new people. I’ll message you.”

I nod, turning away and heading to the elevator.

“Are you okay? You seemed a little stiff.” Nel says, floating to my side and wrapping her arm around mine.

“I’ll talk about it when we get to the ruins.” I say, letting out a long sigh. Why is this becoming a problem now, after everything we’ve been through? I need to get myself together, I have a war to fight.

“Okay.” She replies, still holding tight to my arm.

Adler looks at me worriedly, but Eshya and Vii are still stuck in their own conversation and world. It’s unusual for them to be so focused on one another, I wonder if anything happened between them that I don’t know about.

We take the familiar path down to the ruins, Nel guiding me to keep me from stumbling into any more students, while I continue to work on my mana form. I’d like to fully develop into a healthy liquid mana form state before too much longer and I’ve gathered enough Skills, tricks, and experience to have a good idea on how to push myself to my limits.

In the ruins beneath the clothes shop, Nel leads us into a small room that I don’t remember visiting before.

“This was Orsa’s private quarters. I’ve had things removed and other things brought in.” Nel explains. “It didn’t feel quite tasteful as it was, but it’s much nicer now. I’d like this to become a place where we can work on our mediation and mana forms. A place to relax.”

The stone walls offer a warm glow, illuminating the wide room. The furniture is simple, but well made and sparse, with more curves and cushions than corners and edges. Soft furs, glowing with enchantments, are spread about the floor, while an equivalent of bean bags are thrown about seemingly at random. A pair of beds are set out beside one another, on the far side of the room, offering an alternative to the beanbags and couches.

“We can stay here the night as well.” Nel says, “Kyra, I know you feel uncomfortable being on the surface, what with the welfare officers still technically a threat. I was hoping that you would feel a little better down here.”

“Nel… Thank you.” I say.

She quickly pulls me inside and pushes me onto one of the softer couches in the room, cuddling up beside me while the others wander inside.

“So why did it bother you so much when you bumped into that man?” Nel asks, holding me tightly as she gazes into my eyes making it impossible to evade her questioning.

“Was it the issue you brought up with me?” Adler asks worriedly as she shifts around, uncomfortable with the softness of her own seat.

“It was.” I admit, leaning back and closing my eyes.

Gremlins but with their bones carved out by annihilation. A fat blob of flesh and suffering spluttering all over the place.

“I have been having some rather distastefully violent thoughts lately.” I say. “I wouldn’t usually bring it up, but it’s becoming distracting and a little worrying.”

“I have violent thoughts all the time.” Eshya says with a shrug. “What’s the problem? Are you thinking of acting on it? Or is it just overwhelming?”

“I thought about torturing that guy up by the dorms just because he bumped into me.” I say lightly. “I’m almost constantly thinking up new ways of torturing the gremlins, making them suffer in the worst possible ways.”

Nel pulls me closer, while Vii looks at me with wide eyed concern. Adler purses her lips as she thinks.

“Ah, your just frustrated.” Eshya nods in understanding.

“That is more than simple frustration.” Adler says, glaring at our elf. “If she continues like this…”

“When did it start getting particularly bad?” Nel asks.

“After Paskel raided our base. When some of our people died. After that, it just kept getting worse.” I say. “I think I know why it’s happening, I just don’t know what to do about it.”

“What do you mean?” Nel asks.

“I know I treat things lightly a lot, but I’m not ignorant, I know why I do it and I know who I am. I hate not being in control over myself, so I think things through all the time. Why I do what I do? Why I think what I think, feel what I feel? It frightens me when I do or feel something that I don’t understand.”

I let out the thoughts, looking up at the ceiling so that I’m not looking at them. If I watch their expressions, I’ll feel like I have to adjust what I say to make them feel better about this. To make them forget about all of this so we can just go right back to normal.

I don’t want that. I want to trust them with my every secret. With everything that I am.

“I want to be in control.” I say. “No, that’s not quite right. I want to have complete power over my situation. Red can control my armies, and Nel, I trust you to trade away anything you like, and I don’t feel even the slightest need to hang over your shoulder all the time. That said, I don’t feel comfortable unless I have the power to take back that control whenever I like.

“I don’t feel comfortable unless I can ensure that everything goes the way I want it to. On the surface, the Unified States of Mana have power over all of us, even if it’s not directly used. Down here, Arduelle and Frey have power, and even Loekan has the power to take from me, to undermine me.

“I don’t feel safe, and because of that I’m frustrated, like Eshya says. That frustration is leading to violent, torturous thoughts filling my mind.

“I understand all of that, I just don’t know what to do about it.” I say, airing my frustrations to my lovers. “I’m sorry about burdening you all with this, I’m just worried it might escalate. I want you to stop me if I’m about to do something regrettable.”

“Thank you for telling us about this.” Nel says, patting at my head as she snuggles close to my side. “Don’t apologise. I want to know all these things about you, we’re a family now, that’s a part of what it means to be lovers. If you’re suffering, I want to help.”

Vii, rather than speaking, comes over and wraps her wings around me, squeezing me tight.

“You need an outlet for your frustration.” Eshya says lightly. “I’ve had issues like that in the past. Find something that helps with the frustration and focus on that instead. For me it’s fighting, training, and sex.”

“Isn’t that bad? That’s how people get addicted to things.” Vii says, more nervous and quiet than normal.

“I don’t think Kyra will have that problem, but if she does, we’ll bring her back on track.”

“That doesn’t solve the source of the trouble. The core essence of your problem is your lacking power.” Nel says, “A release for your frustration will help for today and tomorrow, but after that, all we need to do is make you powerful enough that you don’t have to feel frightened anymore.”

“More powerful than Arduelle?” I ask. “More powerful than the Unified States?”

“That was always the plan.” Nel shrugs, holding me tighter. “Until then, we’ll help you find outlets for your frustration. Just remember that we need to let out some frustration now and again too.”

“I’ve been a bad girlfriend, I know.” I say, patting her head and leaning in towards her.

“You’ve been busy, and I want your attention. I want your focus, if just for a little while. So, if you want to stop thinking about all those violent things, then focus on me instead.” Nel demands, her shining eyes meeting mine.

“But first, we have to discuss Skills, right?” Vii asks from my other side.

“We can have as much fun as we like, after we’re done with business.” Eshya adds with a smile. “So, let’s get this over with quickly, yes?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Skills & Stats

~Mana Form:

Current mana density: 951 units

~Mana distribution:

Category Current Max. Defence 0% 98% Offense 0% 83% Mana Sense 20% 100% Recovery 0% 59% Gluttony 0% 56% Misc. 77% 77% Efficiency 97% 100%

~Favourited Skills:

-Chip Shredder

-Multi-mind

-Tag

-Mana surge movement

-Reactive defence

-Fire burst punch

-Annihilation magic

-Charged casting (Annihilation)

-Mana form flow fixer

-Branching magic

-Swimming

-Annihilation fire burst