After some time Beleanor asked the pairs to switch and like that Mahon discussed with three other people. They had all been Nightmare soldiers under his orders and they all praised him and his commanders. Margot came the most often in the conversations and every time it happened, Mahon felt a twitch in his heart.

The four people he discussed with all liked Nightmare. Despite the horrors and the war, they loved the dreamy land. And now that they were back in Ratho, and Ratho only, they needed to share, to talk or to be with others that felt like them. For his last rotation, Mahon found himself paired with Beleanor. After the few rounds he had been through, he had a better idea of how it unfolded.

“Hello, my name’s Mahon.”

“Hello, Mahon. You’ve probably heard before but I’m Beleanor.”

Mahon nodded as the man continued.

“Weren’t you here with a friend? I didn’t see him afterwards.”

“Zac? Yes, he is not from Nightmare. I had some… trouble. And he thought that bringing me here may soothe them. He stayed in the tavern, but he is not taking part in the meeting.”

“Wonderful, what a nice friend you have... Did talking with other veterans help you with your… problem?”

“Hmm, not exactly. To be honest, coming here today did solve some issues I didn’t even know I had and I’m glad I came…”

Beleanor acquiesced with a smile that implied he had met hundreds of people just like Mahon.

“But, regarding my specific problem, no, I didn’t find a satisfactory answer…”

“I see... Is it related to Nightmare, though?”

“Yes, completely. I think so at least.”

“Then maybe I’ll be able to help you. You may have had your fair share of confessions for today, so we can discuss that instead. If you want.”

Mahon eyed the veteran for a moment before deciding he should indeed try his luck. Maybe Elmer hadn’t felt the same because he hadn’t spent all his time in Nightmare. But a true veteran, just like himself, may have gone through the same problem he had.

“I was a good fighter in Nightmare. And I’m now trying to be the same fighter in Ratho. It took a lot of time, but I got myself a body strong enough to fight. My mind is as sharp as ever, and I know the difference between Ratho and Nightmare. But every time I immerse myself too deeply in a battle, it’s like there is a… gap between what I do and what I think.”

Realizing Beleanor was looking at him with scrutinizing eyes, Mahon felt the need to justify himself.

“I’m sorry it doesn’t make much sense, I know, forget it, I may…”

“No, no, sorry!” Beleanor raised his hands as if to prevent Mahon from leaving as he jolted out of his previous torpor. “You’re quite lucky. I think I know exactly what this is. It’s just that saying you were a good fighter in Nightmare was quite the euphemism, am I right?”

“Uh…”

“You already Flow in Nightmare, right? At least once?”

“Yes…” Mahon answered, hesitating as he still didn’t want to reveal who he was exactly.

“Don’t be ashamed, it’s a rare chance to be able to Flow… It changes you forever…” Beleanor said with sparkling eyes, “But I digress. Back to your problem. You feel like something is missing in your thinking process, right? Like, you know everything, but somehow, somewhere a piece is missing and it screwed up your instincts.”

“Yes, precisely!” Mahon couldn’t believe he had finally found someone who could describe precisely how he felt.

“I see… Did you learn how to fight in Ratho by learning rules after rules? You seem like the scholar type to me… Did you spend endless hours grinning your skills and learning the theoretical differences between Nightmare and Ratho? You planned everything from beginning to the end, and you knew where you’d end before you even started, right?”

“Uh… Yes, sort of. I mean, one can’t train properly without a plan, isn’t it?”

“Hahaha, you may be right… for most people. But for those who had been touched by the Flow, it’s different. Most people believe Flow is the quintessence of Blue. That your mind is stuffed with rules and principles so well organized that you can reach the knowledge of everything else by Flowing. But some disagree with this theory.”

Mahon listened with rapt attention to the old man in front of him so as not to miss a single word. It was the first time someone was explaining the Flow in such a way.

“They believe Flow may instead come from your instincts. Because you have explored so much you’re able to infer new things, you’re able to see behind the curtain. It’s not about following logic and rules, it’s about following your instincts.”

“Are you sure? I think I always followed my instincts when using the Flow, and yet I have this problem.”

“Are you certain? Flowing is such a rare event that you may remember wrong how you felt. Sometimes your mind tricks you in believing you’re following your instincts, but in fact, they are based on rules you set for yourself. I’m telling you, in Nightmare, there were no rules. You had to rely on your instincts based on your experiences. But coming here, you wanted to transpose what you knew in Nightmare to Ratho. You tried to infer your instincts with a set of rules you got from someone who explained to you the difference between Nightmare and Ratho. But that’s not how the Flow works. That’s not how you fought in Nightmare. I’ve seen it a couple times already. The solution to your problem is pretty simple. Just let it go. Let your mind Flow like he did in Nightmare. Let your experience dictate your instincts and not rigid rules. That’s the missing piece.”

Mahon eyed the man suspiciously. What he had said kind of made sense, but Mahon doubted it would change anything. It sounded more like a fuzzy speech about the Colors than a real solution, but Mahon was too polite to say it aloud.

“Ok, thanks… I’ll think about it.”

“Hahaha, I can see you’re not convinced. But trust me, give it a try and you’ll understand the difference immediately. Experience not rules.”

Mahon nodded as the old veteran stood up and spoke to the other pairs.

“Everyone, your attention, please! The meeting is reaching its end. I thank you for your participation. If you wanna stay and discuss a bit more though, feel free to do it.”

Beleanor waved to Mahon and left for another room at the back of the tavern. A bit lost at first, Mahon searched for Zac and when their eyes met, he joined his friend at the other corner of the tavern.

“So? How was it?”

“It felt… refreshing… Thanks, Zac.”

Zac flashed that special smile of his, and Mahon couldn’t prevent himself from smiling back.

“And about your problem?”

“It was not very insightful, but I may have some kind of lead. Something to try at least.”

“Good, then. Can we go back to the Hungry Alligator Inn now?”

“I don’t know… the beer was fine here…” Mahon teased.

“Ah, you don’t know anything about beer anyway. Just follow me! Ah wait, look, it seems your friend wants to say something.”

It has been a few minutes since Beleanor left, but he was now coming back with someone in tow. At least half of the Nightmare veterans had already left the tavern, but the ones who had stayed seemed to have been waiting for Beleanor to come back.

“Thanks for staying, my friends. I would like to introduce someone to you.” He gestured for the man beside him. “He is a dear friend of mine and he has an important message to say. I hope you’d be kind enough to listen to him.”

From the side, Mahon observed the tavern and realized there was no one left except for the dozen of Nightmare veterans, Beleanor and his friend, plus Mahon and Zac, a bit away from the commotion. Beleanor’s friend nodded to the old veteran and as he took a step forward, he spoke to the little assembly in front of him in an enthusiastic tone.

“Greetings, Nightmare veterans! I’m here to speak of an injustice that you’re all subject to. You first of all. You went to Nightmare multiple times, and you’re here today because you realize how beautiful this magic word is. You’ve freed the land from the Amentiae and yet the nobles still deny its access to most of Ratho. They lied to us about its origin, they lied to us about its benefit, they lied to us about the need of no-dream pills and they even discarded your heroic feat with a swipe of their hand.”

A murmur of consent came from the dozen Nightmare veterans avidly listening to the man’s speech as Mahon and Zac exchanged a puzzled look. The speaker continued his speech about injustice brought by the nobles to all of Ratho and the Fada. And how Nightmare veterans were the most advised to discern that truth.

“The nobles abuse their right and their power by making you see the world as they want it to be. Except it is not. You, above all, saw it as it really is. They try to enslave us with their pills to keep us from the real freedom brought by the Fada. They defamed the Fada’s words and disrespected their heritage just to stay in power. This, my friends, can’t stand. I’m part of a group of people ready to change the world.”

“You knew about that too?” Mahon murmured to Zac.

“I had no idea, I only knew it was about Nightmare veterans.” The noble whispered back.

In the meantime, the man continued his speech to the more and more excited Nightmare veterans.

“We’re not here to bring chaos. We’re here to restore what the Fada taught us. Enough of the corrupted noble families. Enough of no-dream pills. Enough of blaspheming the Fada and Nightmare. You, from all people, know what a world free of the nobles is. And yet people prevent you from going there. I need your help, my friends. Not to bring trouble, but to restore the truth.”

Under loud applause and cheers, the man bowed to the veterans who were now standing and acclaiming him.

“It truly is the Fada cult recruitment. We shou… Hey, Mahon! What’re you doing?!”

“Improvising. Just play along.” Mahon answered as he was already walking towards the speaker and Beleanor.

“Excuse me, what you say rang deep inside me… What can we do to help?”

The speaker eyed Mahon suspiciously, but Beleanor nodded at him and the man calmed a bit.

“Sorry, but we can’t talk more about it now. You know, we’re breeding some dangerous ideas that in the wrong ears could do us a lot of trouble…”

“Yes, sure… Where can we talk then?”

The man rummaged through his small backpack, took out an inconspicuous blue token and gave it to Mahon.

“Take this and make sure it can be seen while walking along Massena street, we’ll contact you. You’ll be tested, but if Beleanor thinks highly of you, then it says a lot about your worth, so don’t worry too much.”

Most of the other veterans had also come closer to the man and they were given an identical token. Each time someone new asked for one, the speaker glanced at Beleanor and, as the man nodded, the speaker took one more token from his backpack. No more than ten minutes after the beginning of his talk, the speaker left the tavern with hurried steps. He hadn’t even said his name.

“You should go home now, my friends. And please be discreet about tonight’s discussion.” Beleanor said before leaving as the veterans nodded their assessment.

Mahon played a bit with the token before hiding it under his sleeves and gestured to a still stunned Zac.

“Let’s move too.”