“Why didn’t you die with us, Mahon? Why did you abandon us?”

Margot’s voice echoed in the darkness until a flash of light pierced the dense veil clouding his mind. Mahon opened his eyes and sat down, confused. He was on his bed in the First Red residence and the dormitory was empty except for Zac, who was sitting near him.

The sudden movement alerted his roommate and he turned to Mahon, worried.

“You woke up, Mahon! How do you feel? Are you fine?”

Zac palpated Mahon everywhere like a protective mother, fearing for her child, but his quick inspection revealed nothing.

“No, I’m good. But… What happened? What am I doing here?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

In his mind, Mahon replayed the last scenes he could think of. He visualized the start of the obstacle course and he could remember the first one with its muddy water. After that, the scenes started to scroll faster, one after the other.

The crawl in the narrow tunnels. The climb with the spiral staircase. The sprint with the heavy shackles. The bucket of water and the trunk. The sinking platforms. The push-ups. The finish of the race.

The finish?!

“Did I make it? Did I complete the course?”

“Yeah, you did! So you remember almost everything?”

Mahon shook his head.

“It becomes fuzzy at the end.”

Zac nodded and went on to explain what had happened.

“Upon arriving you were so tired that you passed out from sheer exhaustion.”

As he said so, something flashed in Zac’s eyes, but it was gone before Mahon could see it and the man continued.

“Some professors wanted to leave you there, but Slander intervened. He said that anyone who finished the race was a student of the school and that it’s their duty to take care of them. So he ordered the professors to carry you into your bed to let you rest.”

“What?! Slander said that?”

“Yeah, I saw it myself. He called them names for wanting to leave you there and if it was not for the sword final fight happening at the same time, he would have carried you by himself.”

Mahon was surprised the instructor had been so supportive, given that he had tried to expel him from the institute. He dropped the pondering for another time, though, as he was still not sure of his own situation.

“And then?”

Zac gestured to Mahon, who was still sitting in his bed.

“Well, you got carried to your bed and you slept since then.”

“Ok…”

Mahon turned his head to the windows and tried to guess how much time had passed. Fortunately, Zac guessed his intent and directly told him.

“It's evening. The sun sets in an hour or so. So you missed another endless lesson about Amentiae and a few specialized lessons. Nothing to worry about.”

Zac smiled at Mahon and made a thumb up gesture as if to assure him everything was alright. Mahon swung his legs out of the bed and sat in the same position Zac was. He looked at the empty room for a moment before turning back to his roommate.

“And the others? They are fine?”

“Yeah, yeah, they're all fine.” Zac laughed. “They already left for their home as tomorrow is break day.”

“Uh, right. But... aren’t you supposed to leave too?”

“Ah… I couldn’t leave you alone there while you were bedridden, right? We’re supposed to be here for our teammates, after all...”

They exchanged a meaningful look and said nothing for long seconds. Even with his poor relationships knowledge, Mahon could guess it also has to do with his presence in the institute and his pitiful fighting skills. He sighed inaudibly.

“You know…” Mahon started, but Zac interrupted him.

“Hey, actually, we shouldn’t stay here tonight! Free evening, can’t waste it, right? The professors said you were out of energy, but after a rest you will be as good as new. You slept the whole afternoon, so how do you feel now?”

Mahon was not sure why Zac had interrupted him, but he played along and answered anyway.

“I’m still a bit sore but I feel nothing particular.” Mahon moved his body around and stretched to get a better feeling. “It’s just like any other training day. I think I'm good.”

“So… What about a beer? I know just the right place to go.”

Mahon watched his roommate, who smiled back at him. He had thought it would be awkward to be alone with Zac and that the conversation would soon turn dreadful. But Zac was just his usual self and Mahon wondered if he had overthought everything.

Did something change?

“Sure, let’s do it.”

The duo left the residence and then the school. They were chatting naturally, like they were still with the whole group rather than just the two of them. Once outside, Zac led Mahon among the streets of Ratho. He told Mahon about the other First Red and how well they had performed during the physical test.

“So Jorik ended second?”

“Yeah! Told you he was something! He lost to Ravatoris though.”

“And Ravatoris is his brother, who is the heir of the Theadrod family?”

“Haha, close. It’s the Theodred family. You really never heard about them?”

Mahon shrugged as if he couldn’t explain his own lack of knowledge and at the sight Zac laughed again.

“Whatever. They are incredible as both the heir and the bastard are the top 2 fighters of the school.”

Mahon acquiesced. He was frustrated that he missed the fights as he had wanted to see for himself the skills of the top fighters, but he shrugged it off. He would have other chances in the future anyway, and he passed the test. That was the most important.

“It’s here.”

Zac pointed to the entrance of a big tavern called the Hungry Alligator Inn and walked in. Mahon followed inside as he glanced to his surroundings. It was rather early when they entered the tavern, but there were already some people inside. The inn had two floors, with the upper level only half the size of the ground level, and if you sat at the right place on the second floor, you could watch what happened below.

In accordance, the ceiling of the first floor was uneven. Half of it was around three meters high, where there was a second floor above. The other half was six meters high and a big dead alligator was hung on the ceiling overlooking the whole tavern. The alligator was at least seven meters long and had the mouth wide open so you could see his terrifying teeth.

Zac led him under the alligator to the stairs that went to the upper floor and chose a small table up there, near the balustrade. Mahon could see the imposing monster hanging from the ceiling at eyes level.

“That’s your father’s tavern?”

“Yeah! Although he doesn’t work here himself tonight. Nowadays he only comes when there is a special event or something.” Zac explained while he called for the waiter.

“Oh, isn’t this young lord Cranelis?”

“Hi, Viriton! We would like two beers, please.”

“Sure. I’ll bring them immediately.”

The man flashed a smile and left. A minute later he dropped two glasses of beer and went to his other duties, leaving Zac and Mahon alone. They sipped their drinks in silence and the awkward moment Mahon feared lurked closer and closer. Mahon replayed all the sentences he had thought of while in Nightmare, but nothing felt adequate to say.

The silence prolonged, and Zac was apparently searching for his words too. It was weird for the man who always knew what to say, but at that moment, it seemed he was also struggling. In the end Mahon was still hesitating over whether to tell the truth or say nothing and it was Zac who broke the ice.

“You know, we had some troubles in the past weeks during Slander’s training...” Zac started.

Upon the imminent arrival of the question, Mahon's brain was furiously trying to make a decision.

“At first, I thought it was me. Maybe I had not fully coordinated with you or something. Then, as the days passed, I realized you were the one losing the fights. You were too slow, too weak, too inapt.”

Although Mahon was prepared for it, the harsh words harmed more than he had thought.

“I often wondered what you were doing here. I had spent years of hard work to be accepted in the Pine Hill Officer Institute but you, a commoner with no skills whatsoever, were enjoying the best facilities in Ratho freely.”

Zac threw a small glance at Mahon as if he was afraid to continue, but he buried the feeling deep down and pursued.

“I was angry at you, I admit. When they said we would have to wait six weeks before ranking up, I went mad. As my duo, you were tying me down and I didn’t know what to do. I liked you, but at the same time you were everything that I hated. A blessed person who had never fought once in his life for something. A stupid, silly rich kid who had never heard a negative answer in all his life.”

At this point, Mahon thought that it was over and everything would change. That he would forfeit the small haven of peace that he had found. That he would lose the few acquaintances he made in Ratho. That he would forever be that lonely wolf, fighting on his own. Except Zac was not done.

“But then there was today’s test, and I realized how wrong I was. I confess, when Slander said you could get expelled if you didn’t complete the challenge, I thought it was karma hitting you in the face and that I would finally be free. Alas, you taught me an important lesson today.”

Now that Zac had mustered the courage to say what he truly thought, the words were flowing faster and faster.

“I have worked for years, constantly pushing myself to the limit to accomplish my goals. But you swept away all my efforts in an instant. I thought I was hardworking. I thought no one could dare say they earned their place more than me. I thought… Ah, whatever. When I saw that look in your eyes, it just went away. That pure determination. I recognized it perfectly, but never had I seen it so blatant, so intense, so fierce... I thought I knew what hard work meant. But here you were. Standing up just by sheer determination. Your body was a bloody mess, but that insane will alone kept it from falling apart. Man, I’ve never seen that before…”

Mahon was flabbergasted. The discussion had taken an unexpected turn, and he was not sure what to think anymore.

“I thought a lot during this afternoon and I believe you deserve some apologies. It took time, but I can see it clearly now. You’re just like me. You’re not here on a whim. Fada, you’re not even here because you want to. You’re here because you must be. Otherwise you will never accomplish whatever impossible dream you have...”

Zac ended his long tirade and drank his beer until nothing was left inside. And when he put back the glass on the table, his hands were not shaking as much as before. Mahon had still not said a thing.

“Zac… I don’t… You know… We…” Mahon realized he was talking rubbish and stopped. He took a deep inspiration and said the only thing that came to his mind.

“Thanks.”

Zac smiled back at him like he used to, but this time it was conveying much more. I know. I’m here. I’m sorry. I feel the same. You’ve worked hard. The simple smile conveyed much more than dozens of words.

This time it was Mahon who could not bear the weight of that smile and hid behind his beer. As he finished it and put his glass near Zac’s one, they observed each other before laughing aloud. Zac gestured for the passing waiter to have another round and turned back to Mahon.

“I feel like a whole weight has been lifted from my shoulders, you know.”

Was it Zac or Mahon who said it? Or was it both? Either way, they both shared the same feeling. They laughed, and they were soon sipping their second drink of the night. When the next one spoke, it felt so natural that again, any of the two could have said it.

“I have that dream…”