The rest of the visit had been surprisingly painless. It turned out that all they wanted to say to us was that they wanted to be involved in the fight. Suloa and the rest of the Irisians just wanted the chance to help which I fully understood. I had told Aquila as much the moment we landed back on Freo and she’d promised me that she would consider it.

I wasn’t particularly happy with that answer but I just didn’t have the energy to argue. I’d decided I’d bring it up in the morning because the visit to the kids had not been as smooth and I just wanted to sleep.

Well, nothing has gone wrong exactly. It was just… tiring. They have been so full of energy and hope and optimism, clamouring for a way to help out or to thank us. That had somehow been entirely more draining than the entire visit with the Irisians, even though it had been so much shorter.

I was exhausted. I’d taken so many stimulant pills but it just felt like they weren’t doing enough. I’d almost collapsed the moment we’d gotten back to our room.

Well, not our room.

Our new room. Chal had sorted it out for us. He told me he wanted us to have somewhere we could go that was untouched by the memory of Gem. Not that anywhere on the ship was but… it was better.

I couldn’t imagine going back to our actual room. I had too many memories with her there, it would have been too much.

The new one wasn’t on the same floor as the last one nor was it as big but it was perfect. I think it must have been a dorm at some point because bunk beds lined the walls. They were small, each bed barely having enough space for one person, but still, Cas and I had crammed into one.

Each time I moved, I was worried about accidentally knocking Cas onto the floor but it was better than the alternative.

I’d only just managed to slip into the sweet embrace of sleep when we got the call from Aquila.

Her voice had been hushed, yet filled with excitement. She’d asked me to gather my crew and come to the war rooms immediately.

I wanted to refuse, if I’m being honest. I knew that the rest of my crew were just as exhausted as I was and that we needed more sleep but there was something about her tone that make me get up and rouse the others.

They’d been reluctant, eager for more sleep, but when I told them that I thought something big had happened, they got ready without complaint.

I was right and I truly didn't see it coming. I know that a lot of you think that we had a hand in what happened but we really didn’t. We were asleep and before that, we’d been seeing the Irisians and the kids. It couldn’t have been us.

And, honestly? I’m not sure that I would have been able to kill her even if I had the chance to. She’d been kind to us.

I was twitchy as we waited outside the thick doors to the inner war room, my mind racing through potential scenarios and trying to prepare myself for what was to come but I never would have seen what happened coming.

I didn’t even consider it.

“Ah, there you are,” Andy called as the door swung open and we came into view.

The room was full already, almost every seat taken, but they’d left our usual ones free for us.

Steaming cups of coffee awaited us too and I sent Chal a smile as we sat down, knowing that it was his doing.

“Sorry for the delay,” I started but Andy cut me off.

“Not at all, we know you were asleep,” he said with a smile. “And I expect you all to go back to bed after this.”

I nodded as noncommittally as possible.

If something big had happened and we needed to act, I refused to sleep through it. But then, how big could it be if Andy expected us to go back to bed after?

“Great, now that we are all here and accounted for, I can make the announcement,” Aquila said, practically bristling with excitement.

The room fell silent immediately, hanging on her words.

I felt nervous energy flood me and Cas’ hand found mine under the table.

“Councillor Ortiz has been found dead,” she said after a pause.

Cheers erupted around the room but I couldn’t bring myself to join in.

I know that she was a Councillor but… she had been the one person on the Council who had actually listened to us. When she’d seen the damage caused by Harvey and his orders, she’d actually stood up for us and had told him off.

He’d grovelled. He even apologised to her.

I think that’s why he did it. I truly have no doubt that he organised her death.

I know, I know. That's not what the official report said.

It said that she was found on Frontana, stabbed multiple times, but I didn’t believe it. I don’t know. Maybe that’s what happened.

I think she had tried to flee. I hope that she’d realised how badly the Council had fucked up and tried to escape before Harvey’s people caught up with her but I just don’t know. Maybe he just decided he was sick of having her around. I have a feeling that she wouldn’t have agreed with some of his worse ideas and with her out the way, he had more power. People didn’t want to stand up to him, even the other Councillors.

You know, as people all over the universe celebrated her death and claimed that it was a sign of the Council’s weakening power, I researched her. It wasn’t like me, it felt more like something Peggy would do, and she did help me with it.

I don’t think she was a bad person. I know she allowed some bad things to happen but I think that, at least when she first became a Councillor, she did want to help fix things.

She wasn’t like Harvey and the others, she didn’t come from a family. Not really. She spent her first few years in an orphanage, like me. She’d been adopted by a prominent family, her adoptive mother once ran for Council.

I think she actually wanted to change the world for the good before she became too distracted by everything else that was going on.

Did you know she was the person behind the mandatory schooling and testing for orphaned kids? Before that, too many were going into the Guardians, they had no chance at anything better, but she fixed it.

Well, maybe not fixed it but she helped make it better.

I don’t know why she gave up though. Maybe she got sick of working and working and nothing ever really changing. Or it could just be that she became disillusioned. Disenchanted. She stopped believing that it was possible for the Council to make positive changes.

From what I read, her attempts to make things better for kids in the orphanages was met with scorn and spite from the other Councillors. They mocked her for it, it drove a permanent wedge between them.

I think I would have been worn down by it all too. It would have been hard to continue fighting.

But I do know that she deserved better.

I’d killed someone once. More than once. I’d killed many people but there was only one person that I stabbed and watched the blood drain from their body. It was that Guardian on Romikhi-Eight. I had slit their throat and watched them die when trying to rescue Peggy.

No one deserved to die like that.

I hoped, stupidly and naively, that no one else would die in our fight against the Council. Apart from Harvey. I wanted him to die and I wanted to be the one to kill him.