My shoulders slumped in exhaustion as I navigated my way out of the inner room, still unused to controlling the electric wheelchair. I was torn between wanting to walk aimlessly around the ship for the rest of the night to avoid sleeping or going to the infirmary and crashing immediately. Or, I guess, rolling around the ship all night.

I didn’t really want to do either. If I walked around all night, I’d have to deal with people coming up to me to ask if I was alright or to say something about Gem. I think that might just crumble the weak facade I’d managed to create. Also, I didn’t want Chal to be annoyed at Andy. Or any more annoyed.

I wanted to say something to Chal, something to stop him from being annoyed or to explain that Andy was just looking out for us because he knew that we wouldn’t be happy letting the rest of the fighters go against the Council without us doing our part too.

It wasn’t right. I knew that we didn’t start the fight but we had to do what we could. I’m pretty sure that if they’d insisted on leaving us behind, we would have just hacked into a ship and gone anyway.

A feeble smile came over my face briefly before slipping off again. Maybe it would have been better if we’d stayed behind though. We would have been unhappy, of course, but then maybe Gem would still be here.

My eyes started to prickle with tears again and I blinked desperately, looking around the war room. My eyes fell on Orion who was sitting at his desk, gazing blankly at the monitor in front of him. His bloodshot eyes were glassy and, even from where I was standing, I could see the slight tremor to his hands as they hovered above his keyboard, ready to type.

I sighed, happy to focus on something else but also worried about him, and made my way over to him.

“Orion,” I said as I came up behind him.

He jumped, his hands slamming down on his keyboard heavily.

“Sorry!” he cried, quickly typing to undo whatever he’d done.

“That’s okay, I just wanted to come over and make sure you’re alright?”

His throat bobbed as he swallowed.

“Yeah, fine. I got some earplugs for you,” he said unconvincingly before picking up a sleek black case from his desk and holding it out to me.

I popped it open, looking at the unassuming devices inside before closing it and slipping them into my pocket.

“Thank you. How come you’re still up? You look exhausted.”

His eyes widened like a pilot in the crossfire.

“No, no. I’m okay. I’m barely even tired,” he said quickly.

I pursed my lips slightly as I examined his face.

He was definitely lying, that much was certain. His pupils were huge, a clear sign of stimulant use, and his cheeks were flushed.

“When was the last time you slept?” I asked, unable to let it go.

He swallowed nervously again.

“A couple of days ago…”

“How long did you sleep for?” I tried my best to sound gentle and not like I was interrogating him.

He hesitated before answering, clearly not wanting to lie to me.

“Long enough…”

“Are you sure about that?”

He looked down at his hands folded together in his lap and nodded slightly.

“I don’t think you are,” I said softly. “Do you want to come for a walk with me?”

He looked up, seemingly torn between wanting to but not wanting to continue the conversation, and I was hit with a strange feeling. It was almost like deja vu but not quite. I’d been in this situation before but not really. It had been the other way around.

Andy had made me go for a walk with him before when I was struggling in engineering and getting really frustrated with it in my first year. I’d been called into his office, I thought because I’d not been living up to my expectations but actually because he was worried about how frustrated I’d been. I’d struggled at opening up to him because it felt too formal and scary so we went for a walk around the base and had gotten some food and it had felt easier.

I wasn’t quite sure how to react to the realisation.

“Come on, we’ll go grab some food or something,” I said, unconsciously mimicking the same tone that Andy had used.

I turned towards the door clumsily, careful not to knock into his desk, and started moving slowly, knowing from experience that Orion would rush to follow me, but still, I felt relief shoot through me when I heard his hurried footsteps.

We exited into the corridor in silence and I wasn’t quite sure how to start the conversation.

“How are you doing?” I asked. “Really.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw him glance at me before looking away again.

“I’m okay, I guess. I mean, I’m not doing badly. It’s just…” He sighed heavily and I waited for him to continue. “I haven’t really been able to sleep since the mission. I’ve been analysing the messages again and again to see if there is something that we missed. I feel like I should have noticed that they’d hacked the gates, you know?”

I felt a crack appear in my facade.

“How would you have known that, Orion?” I asked gently.

His shoulders sagged noticeably.

“Because I should have known better. The Council… I should’ve known better to trust them. They never listen to their own rules. It’s just like when I was back on the base,” he said, scuffing the floor with his feet.

I opened my mouth to speak, immediately wanting to know more but forced myself to not rush in.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked as I reached out for the lift button.

He shook his head automatically before a sigh slipped out of his lips.

“Nothing really happened, they just never follow their own rules,” he said.

I nodded but didn’t say anything as the doors opened and some people filtered out, shooting me furtive looks but thankfully not speaking.

We stepped inside, the doors closing quickly.

“I grew up on a base. It wasn’t like the one Director Gaddon ran… not really. It was… Plend was in charge of it. Apparently, the Director before her was softer and let the trainees get away with too much so the Council sent her in to try and fix it,” he said, his tone miserable and flat.

My heart started to beat faster and I wanted to ask him more questions but I knew that I had to let him finish the story.

“I don’t know what it was like before she got there but apparently it was quite a change. I mean, I spent the first ten years in an orphanage so it wasn’t too different from me. She separated trainees based on if they were Drafts or Volunteers and the Drafts were only allowed to eat mush and weren’t allowed in the advanced classes. Things were different for the Volunteers though. They had basically the same food as the tutors, they were all in accelerated paths and had advanced classes…” He trailed off again and I knew that something bad was coming but I didn’t know what.

Hatred for Plend grew within me as he spoke. It was ridiculous that the Drafts weren’t allowed proper food or the chance to excel. That shouldn’t be reserved just for the Volunteers. Just because a kid spent the first ten or so years of their life in an orphanage doesn’t mean they deserve fewer opportunities.

“The punishments were pretty bad though. It started off innocently enough. The tutors would use stun sticks or sometimes hit us if we really messed up but things got worse when people started going against her,” he said.

I could hear the horror in his voice and my stomach churned with fear.

Sammy was going against her wishes. What would she do if she caught him? Would his mom be able to protect him?

“What happened?” I asked quietly, glancing across at him.

His face was pale and his gaze was distant.

“I did something that she didn’t like. It wasn’t anything that bad, I guess. I think I was just unlucky.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I wanted to know more. I read something in a Council bulletin about some protests and I wanted to know why they were having them. You know, to try and find out what it was that people were so unhappy about. I really wasn’t going against the council at that time but… I guess she thought I was.”

“What did she do?”

“They called a meeting. With the whole base. The tutors, students, even my little sister was there… And she told everyone what I did and that I was a traitor who was actively trying to bring the Council into disregard. And they punished me. Publicly.”

My heart clenched in my chest and I felt my hands ball into fists.

“What did they do?” I barely managed to say.

“They whipped me. Plend did. I don’t know how long it went on, I passed out before too long,” he said, his voice devoid of any emotion.

A new wave of horror crashed over me and I didn’t know what to say. It felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I swayed slightly as the blood rushed from my face.

“What?” I said.

His shoulders lifted in a soft shrug.

“Yeah. I mean, it was a long time ago but before that, there had been a rule about beating trainees. I think it was that they weren’t allowed to do anything that left a mark but obviously Plend didn’t care too much about that,” he said.

A shiver went through me.

“Wait, how old were you?” I asked.

He’d said how old he was when he got to the base but not how old he had been when they’d punished him like that.

“Thirteen.”

The lift stopped moving and the doors opened. My head was spinning as I moved out into the hall, barely noticing the whispers that followed us.

I didn’t know what to say. My thoughts were racing so fast I could barely pay attention to them. He’d been so young and he was so sweet, I couldn’t imagine anyone ever wanting to hurt him or looking at him and thinking he was even capable of doing something wrong.

And what about Sammy? He was at risk of the same thing.

“What happened after that?” I said finally.

Orion shrugged again.

“They threw me in deprivation. Sorry, that’s this thing they used to do where they’d lock you in a really bright room with nothing in and not give you food or let you out for a few days,” he explained.

My tongue darted out to wet my lips. Sammy had told us about that.

“That’s horrible,” I said.

He shrugged.

“It wasn’t too bad. After a while the Doctor was sent in to look at my wounds because I think Plend must have panicked or something and they snug me out,” Orion said with a ghost of a smile.

“How?” I asked, genuinely wanting to know and also wanting to know if we could use the same method to get Sammy and his friends out.

Orion smiled slightly.

“They said that I was really injured and they had to take me to the nearest hospital because we had one just down the street but instead they snuck me to Chal and he got me to Freo!”

I nodded, feeling even more love for Chal grow within me.

“What about your sister? Could they not get her out too?” I asked.

The smile faded from his face.

“They asked her if she wanted to come but she didn’t… She said I was a traitor and that I deserved to die. I still keep track of her though. She graduated last year. I think she’s doing pretty well.”

Sadness bloomed within me, warring with the horror I was feeling.

“That’s good,” I said uncertainly and was rewarded with a weak smile. “Did you tell Andy about what happened to you?”

He nodded.

“Yeah, he knows. I spoke to Elliot about it a while back.”

A tiny amount of relief started to lessen some of the panic within me. Surely, if they knew, they’d make sure that Sammy was safe.

The comforting aroma of freshly cooked bread wafted through the canteen doors towards us and I forced myself to smile.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. Shall we grab some food?”