“Well, didn’t we just assist at a potential diplomatic catastrophe? AH!” Augustus was tearing through a giant chicken leg, not unlike those you see in cartoons. However, the [Breeder] and [Chef] skills made it not just real but also one of the most succulent treats one could enjoy at the academy. And Augustus knew all these places very well.

“How did you know that it had been [Archmage] Marcus?” Augustus asks me.

“Just a hunch,” I say with a foxy smile.

What? You think I would have owned up to it? Hell no. As soon as that idiot crashed to the ground, I gasped and looked wide-eyed at [Archmage] Marcus. The Dragon, laughing his ass off, was caught off guard when Titus hurled a massive [Earth Lance] at his face. Then, a fight broke out between the two [Archmages]. It probably continued outside the city when the Watch got involved and told both [Archmages] to get a grip.

“[Archmage] Marcus is just a vile creature, incapable of the same fine and elaborate spellcasting that [Archmage] Titus has been researching.”

That’s Atticus, Lucinda’s new boyfriend. And [Archmage] Titus’s main disciple – a magical talent so great that everyone believed he would soon follow in Appius’s footsteps. Who’s Appius? Yeah, I know—lots of stupid names of irrelevant people here.

“Yo, pal. Get your head out of your dear [Archmage]’s ass. Your nose is getting all brown.”

I’m not in my best mood, I have to say. I invited everyone – almost forced them – to have lunch with me and my escort. I wanted to make Lucinda feel as uncomfortable as humanly possible. I’m not going to be disrespectful. I mean, not too much, at least. But I had underestimated how much of a douche this guy could be.

“A lowly Human could never understand the height that [Archmage] Titus will reach once his research goes forward,” Atticus sneered, eating his little cutlet in a composed way.

“Oh, what great research, pray tell,” I say.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, worm?”

Everyone at the table stopped.

“What?” I asked, looking around.

“Worm is the same epithet my niece has used for you, Joey,” my Stanimal says. Yeah, he’s here too. After the mess I made, we had to delay our visit to Marcus’s tower.

“Oh, yeah,” I say, laughing. It’s a slur for Humans. It’s like the n-word for black people here. Considering that Humans and Elves have been exterminating each other for a while, I think that’s an apt comparison.

The best part of this is that Atticus looks peeved. You know, I really want to tell him that his stupid teacher just stole a couple of incomplete principles from me. What Lucinda got was just a drop in a bucket. It’s a start, but it also lacks the insights of a proper [Light Mage]. And unless [Archmage] Titus wants to dive deeper and deeper into my field of magic, he won’t understand the same things I have stumbled upon.

Or will he?

That [Archmage]? He wouldn’t understand even if you told him.

That’s Lord Juler’s sass for you. The man has been less restrained than usual in invading my privacy since we have gotten to the academy. But I get it. Lots of things here interest us both.

“So, Lucy,” I say to the woman who would clearly rather be anywhere else in the world at the moment. “How’s your studying going? I bet [Archmage] Titus took you in because of your incredible talent and merits, right?”

Atticus looks confused. He lacks the knowledge of what really went down between us to understand that my words are not compliments.

“It’s better if I go,” she says, putting her hands on the table and standing up.

“My fiancé has asked you a question, [Mage],” suddenly, a voice cuts Lucinda off. “I would advise you to sit down if you don’t want the Royal Guard punishing you for disrespecting a close affiliate of the Royal Family.”

Oh, man. I think I need a change of underwear now.

I turn to Laura, smiling broadly. I’m so happy she’s on my side—

She looks at me with murder in her eyes.

Mh.

I guess that dragging my ex in front of her and making a scene kind of makes me look like I’m still hung up on her. And women really don’t like that, do they? Ha. I messed up.

Why don’t you shame her and this little crony by telling them where the knowledge of their idiot teacher comes from?

I’d rather wait for a more appropriate moment. Like, if I win the thing and challenge someone like Appius. Then, as I beat his ass to a pulp, I tell everyone that I’m the next [Archmage] of this world. Maybe conquer a tower or something like that right after.

I’m obviously joking. This is not a book. This is not fiction. What I just recounted would be a wish-fulfillment of the lowest kind.

I approve.

Which is, apparently, what Vanedenis eat for breakfast.

“My studies are going well,” Lucinda says in a whisper, clearly on the verge of tearing up. She’s pretty ashamed, isn’t she? Well, better than having her angry. At least she doesn’t think she’s entitled to any other reaction.

“Princess, is the rumor true, then? You are consorting with…” Atticus looks pale as a sheet and mightily disgusted by the implications.

“That I will marry the Human if he were to win all the duels? Yes. And he and I will put an end to the war going on between Epretos and Teiko. Whatever the cost, it’s time to make true on the memory of Prince Vespasianus.”

“That Worm-lover?” Atticus said with revulsion.

Oh, boy.

I hunch forward to peek at Stan, sitting on the same bench I’m on. To my surprise, he didn’t even react. He’s eating some stinky vegetables without even blinking.

“And weren’t you engaged to Appius?” Atticus keeps going.

Man, dude. You are not a clever one, are you? I’m actually feeling sorry for you now.

“Appius was never engaged to me. His pathetic family wants to raise their fucking social status again and rally against Humans. My mother spoke with them multiple times, but do you know where my mother is now? Not on the fucking throne.”

“And if I hear this slanderous rumor again, I’ll have your genitalia cut off for disrespecting your Princess. Are we clear?”

“S-Sure.”

While I’m trying to understand how many times Atticus fell on his head when he was a newborn, I randomly meet Augustus’s gaze. The man has wide eyes, and the corners of his mouth crinkled à la De Niro. His enthusiastic approval for my romantic pairing couldn’t be stronger.

Thanks to his ridiculous expression at such a tense juncture, I start choking on my chicken so forcefully that I feel bits of sauce coming out of my nose.