Inoue-sensei was truly an international woman of mystery, and one of her many mysteries was where and when she'd found time to buy swimwear for each member of the team. Hazō chose not to dwell on the related mystery of how she knew all their sizes. Instead, he waited in the water alongside an excited Noburi (like Hazō, in good-quality but otherwise unremarkable trunks) and a reluctant Kagome (in some kind of old-fashioned bathing costume for the terminally prudish).

Finally, the girls came out one by one. Hazō's eyes skimmed briefly over Keiko, dressed in a figure-hugging navy swimsuit that brought out her eyes, arms wrapped protectively around herself.

They settled for longer on Inoue-sensei, dressed unexpectedly conservatively in a bright red swimsuit with parts of the stomach and back cut out in spiralling diamond shapes (when Hazō commented on this later, he received nothing but a wink and a "know your audience"). This was the point at which Kagome seemingly lost the ability to move, and Noburi for some reason quickly scuttled sideways until he was waist-deep in the water. Hazō mostly shrugged it off. Bonfires were beautiful and hypnotic; it didn't mean you wanted to get anywhere near one.

Finally, there came Akane. Hers was a turquoise, slightly frilly bikini with a diaphanous swim skirt, and she had curves. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Hazō had been vaguely aware that Akane was a teenage girl, but it had never occurred to him that she would have curves.

"You're staring, Hazō-sensei," Akane laughed, her face slightly pink. She reached down, and the next second what seemed like a tidal wave of water hit his upper body.

"Well?" she asked. "Are you just going to let your apprentice get away with treating you with such disrespect?"

Of course, there was only one answer to that.

o-o-o-o

Hazō had forgotten (or possibly not known to begin with) that there could be days like this.

Inoue-sensei was sunbathing, and doing that thing where she was on her front and the top half of her swimsuit was down (Hazō didn't even know whether her seductress shtick was natural or deliberate anymore). Kagome had found his reasons to stick around on the beach, even if those reasons were trying to build history's most impregnable sandcastle while inconspicuously ogling Inoue-sensei. Noburi and Keiko were having a race, and Noburi was not living up to his heritage as a master Water elementalist (and Keiko seemed to have her doubts about the water clone he'd appointed as judge).

Hazō and Akane were on the fifth stage of their Ultimate Spirit of Youth Championship. The exact number of stages hadn't actually been defined, and Akane didn't seem to know the rules any better than he did (in fact, Hazō wasn't sure if there were any rules), but he was in the lead and didn't feel like sweating the details.

"Hazō-sensei, what's that?"

It was, Hazō decided, either the best or the worst possible time for the chakra tentacle monster to turn up.

The thing was huge, mostly purple, and looked like some diabolical cross between a kraken, a giant mold and a fisherman's box of live worms. With those tentacles, there was no ambiguity that it was in fact a tentacle monster, but rather than having your typical eight or ten sucker-covered tentacles, it had a vast array of long, thin wiggling ones that seemed to be waving threateningly in the air rather than in any way aiding in propulsion.

Matters were not helped by the fact that all the team's weapons were stored on the shore, there was no way in hell anyone was going within taijutsu range of that thing, and at the speed it was going, none of them were going to get to the shore before it was upon them.

Growing up in Mist, Hazō had heard rumours about tentacle monsters, and the idea of them getting to the girls in particular was horrifying and also strangely intriguing. He cast around for some way to turn the situation around. Their slim chances had to revolve around Noburi's abilities. If he could get Keiko to figure out the optimal way to combine—

Then the tentacle monster exploded into a rain of remarkably small fragments.

Everybody reflexively turned to look at Kagome.

"Sealing tags in waterproof wrapping attached to wooden buoys," he explained as if stating the blindingly obvious. "I wasn't going to leave the perimeter unsecured."

o-o-o-o

"It's not my fault," Kagome grumbled as he handed over the last of his currency to Keiko. "It was that one 'Go straight to T&I' card..."

"Sorry, Kagome-sensei," Hazō said. "But you were finished the moment she upgraded her Grass outpost to a stronghold. It was only a matter of time after that."

With that, the game of Strategic Dominance was over.

Credit had to go to Akane, whose years of being bedridden had not been in vain, at least from the perspective of developing a virtually eidetic memory for games. Cards had been easy to make given the ample supply of paper from failed seals, and Kagome and Hazō's fine brushwork. The real revelation, though, was that Kagome knew how to carve wood, a skill apparently picked up over years of living in a forest with nothing to do whenever he was done upgrading his defenses for the day.

o-o-o-o

"I knew it!" Kagome exclaimed. "You only invited me to play with you so you could make fun of me. You were planning to gang up on me and make me lose every game and crush my self-esteem and then you could sell me to the next hunter-nin while I was off my guard! How didn't I see it before?"

The rest of the group stared at him in confusion. Then a metaphorical flare lit up in Hazō's head.

"Kagome-sensei," he said carefully, "did you play many games with other children when you were young?"

Kagome shook his head. "No. They were all backstabbing stupid idiots. I wouldn't have gone even if they'd invited me."

"Ah," Hazō said. "See, the thing you learn when you're playing competitive games as a kid is that there are two ways to play. You can play like a civilian—or you can play like a ninja."

Kagome thought about this. You could see the gears turning.

"Oh," he finally said.

Hazō nodded. "How about another game?"

o-o-o-o

Kei allowed herself a smile as she played her "Whispers of Temptation" card into the Country of Iron. Hazō's character was the One-Tail, and there was only a seven percent chance he would have "Staying Awake" in his hand to counter her, based on his plays so far and the fact that she'd memorised his deck. Which left only three possible scenarios in which he could interfere with her plans in Iron. Really, why no one else seemed to keep track of this kind of thing was beyond her.

She took a moment to analyse the state of the board. Hazō had just summoned his Greater Demon Host figure into the Country of Vegetables, and since he only ever rolled sixes, nothing in there was going to survive the Battle Phase.

Noburi was earning far too many points from the Fire Country, but she couldn't do anything about that without violating the gentleman's agreement with him from last round. He'd proposed that she wouldn't interfere in Fire or Claw, in exchange for him stopping Akane from dominating Water—unless Akane gave in and helped him boot Kagome out of Noodle. But then he also had his agreement with Akane where she'd stay out of Claw in exchange for him putting pressure on Hazō in Snow. And his agreement with Kagome about not ruining Noodle until Hazō had played all three of his "Sickle Weasel of Death" cards.... It made her head hurt just to think about it.

Kagome was perilously close to advancing his Three-Tails dial and getting the Mizukage's Revenge upgrade, which would make his Captain Zabuza figure a game-changer. But she didn't know how to counter him. No matter what anyone did, Kagome somehow always managed to have the right cards in the right places on the board—even if the ink was still wet on some of them.

And then there was that one...

"Ishihara, your dial wasn't this far along a minute ago."

Ishihara gave her an irritatingly innocent smile. "It must've been. There's no way I could have moved it without leaning across the board right in front of you. You know the rules, Mori: no catch, no penalty."

On a hunch, Kei checked under the table, but Ishihara's ninja wire was long gone.

"Say," Hazō asked, "what's that daimyō token doing with your figures in Rain, Inoue-sensei? There weren't any daimyō tokens in Rain last round."

Inoue-sensei looked him in the eye. "I don't know how you could have missed it," she said in a monotone voice. "That token was there all along."

"I don't know how I could have missed it," Hazō agreed. "That token was there all along."

o-o-o-o

"As you fling open the door, you find yourselves in a large chamber lit with iron braziers," Inoue-sensei said dramatically. "Severed heads dangle on ropes from the ceiling, and the screams of the damned echo from the grills in the floor. Blood-red flames roar from the chamber behind you, cutting off your retreat.

"The towering Oni Overlord rises from his throne and hefts his cursed axe. With a roar, he begins to charge towards you. You can see from where you are that the Hourglass of Fate only has a trickle of sand left in it. What do you do?"

Keiko tapped her fingers nervously on her thigh. "I.... What should I do? Oh! I retreat to the back and spend five ki to use Protection of the Kami on the rest of the party."

"Naotsugu strides boldly to the front of the party and assumes Shield Stance," Akane said. "Fear not, shrine maiden," she went on in a deep voice. "I shall protect my friends, even with my life."

Noburi looked over the piece of paper in front of him again. "I think.... Yeah, I'm moving into the shadows and readying an action to throw blinding acid in the Oni Overlord's eyes as soon as he's within range."

Kagome leaned forward intently. "I spend ten ki to cast a Seal of Greater Evisceration on the floor in front of us. Let's see how he likes that!"

"Hazō?" Inoue-sensei asked. "Hazō, are you doing anything?"

Hazō looked up. "What? Oh, yes. Let's see, spend that there, multiply by the critical...carry the four..."

"Hazō?"

"Got it," Hazō nodded. "I spend ten ki to move into Flicker Stance. Because I have Flash Step Master, that gives me a free action, with which I spend a hundred ki to boost my spirit katana to level three. That gives me an immediate non-elemental attack against any enemy within line of sight, and I spend fifty ki to perform the Midnight Slash for...a guaranteed four hundred and twenty points of damage, ignoring physical resistance."

Inoue-sensei stared kunai at him. "The Oni Overlord screams and disintegrates, leaving nothing but dust behind.

"Congratulations," she said through gritted teeth, "you have cleared the Tainted Caverns and saved the Dragon Clan's lands from destruction. Hazō, from now on, you're using pre-generated characters only."

o-o-o-o

It was a warm, starry night. Somewhere, down below, Noburi was messing with Kagome, Kagome was oscillating between confusion and paranoia, and Akane and Keiko were trying to keep the peace, but in such different ways that they ended up cancelling each other out. One person was conspicuously missing.

Well, two if you counted Hazō himself. Somehow, tonight, he didn't feel like being around his fellow genin. Watching Noburi play "what's the craziest seal idea I can come up with?", he'd felt it once again, that sense of alienation, of being here and yet far away. He was able to suppress it most of the time, but now he felt as if these last few days had shaken something loose inside him.

"What's the matter, Hazō, not going to take part in the fun?"

Oh. Apparently he'd wandered not merely away from the campsite, but up onto the one hill where Inoue-sensei happened to be lying back and watching the stars. Just his luck.

Inoue-sensei propped herself up on one elbow as she looked at him expectantly.

Well, he was here now. Hazō sat down next to her, cradling his knees. "I'm not in the mood."

"Why not?" she asked softly.

Hazō hesitated. He wasn't sure what would happen if he tried to talk about this. In all probability, nothing good. And besides, how could he hope for someone else to understand what he was feeling when he wasn't able to do it himself, and when he didn't even know the words to describe it?

Then again, Inoue-sensei was the ultimate people person. Even if she didn't know what was going on with him, she might still have some advice. And since she was their de facto captain, it would have been irresponsible of Hazō to keep her in the dark about feelings that might come back and bite him at a dangerous time. Yes, that sounded right.

"It's like..." Hazō tried to choose words. "They're my friends. I'm not good at 'friends', but I'm pretty sure that's what this is. I care about them. I want them to be happy. I'll take risks to make sure they don't get hurt. That is friendship, right?"

Inoue-sensei didn't say anything, which was just as well because Hazō suddenly wasn't sure if he wanted to hear her answer.

"But there's always a gap between them and me," Hazō went on. "While everyone else is just being themselves, there's always this part of me that's standing back, watching, analysing, calculating. You know how I'm always the one coming up for suggestions on what people should train next? It's that. Keiko isn't just Keiko, she's the team's weapons specialist, and what can I use to optimise her combat performance? Should Akane do the thing she really loves, or should I be trying to persuade her to focus on something else for the good of the team? How can I use these people to most effectively accomplish our collective goals? What do I want as our collective goals?

"When that part of me is awake—which is nearly all the time—I feel like an outsider looking in on their lives. Like I'm a different kind of person from them. Like I don't belong."

Inoue-sensei gave a faintly sad smile. "It's called being a leader, little Hazō."

She may as well have hit him with a Lightning technique. "What?"

"Every leader has to walk the razor's edge," Inoue-sensei explained. "Lose yourself in your bonds, and you lose yourself. And when the leader is lost, everything falls apart.

"Let your bonds grow too weak, and you stop seeing other people's humanity, and in the end you lose sight of your own. And when the leader becomes a monster.... Well, everything falls apart worse.

"There are countless stories of good ninja, strong ninja, who couldn't walk the edge. Leaf's White Fang was a master swordsman who abandoned a vital mission so he could preserve the lives of his comrades. Dozens of ninja died because of his failure. He dishonoured his name and his family. In the end, he killed himself, leaving his young son alone in a hostile world.

"Cloud's Akio the Fallen was a genjutsu user who was so obsessed with achieving shinobi perfection that he threw his subordinates into constant training duels. He kept pushing them, even in mid-mission, not noticing—or maybe not caring—that the stress was tearing them apart. And, one by one, they abandoned him. One day, when a relief squad came to find him, he was on his own, drawing match-up brackets on a rock wall as if nothing had happened, talking about how this time, this time he'd planned everything out just right. They say he's still in a hospital in Cloud somewhere, making championships on walls using dead ninja's names.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Hazō. Every leader goes through this. Eventually, you'll find a balance. You'll learn how to put your heart aside when it's time for cold decisions, and how to bring it back when it's safe to care again."

It was an answer. But it wasn't the answer Hazō wanted to hear.

"You mean.... I'll always be like this?"

He could feel himself tearing up, in front of Inoue-sensei of all people. Even here in the darkness of night, he was sure she'd be able to see.

Inoue-sensei didn't answer his question. Instead, wordlessly, she reached out and pulled him in.

Before he knew it, his face was pressed against something warm, and soft, and he nearly panicked when he realised what it was. After a moment of fight/flight/freeze paralysis, he was about to push her away and run, but then it registered that she wasn't doing anything, just holding him as the tears flowed.

Time passed. He found himself feeling none of the things he'd expect to feel on being in physical contact with a grown woman's chest. Instead, it felt... safe, in the way the only other woman ever to hold him had felt safe. He relaxed, listening to her heartbeat gradually slow down, and finally some part of him felt at peace for the first time since he'd left Mist.

And he was not going to confess to anyone, not to his dying day, that Inoue-sensei's breasts made a really comfortable pillow.

He was so relaxed that he didn't even flinch when he felt Inoue-sensei's hand on his hair, and then realised that she wasn't ruffling it, but stroking it in an oddly gentle, intimate motion. After a while, he heard her voice. He couldn't tell if she was speaking to him, or if her words were simply addressed to the sky above.

"I never intended to have kids," she said quietly. "Someone like me, dancing through life drinking and fucking, deceiving and killing? How could I possibly teach a child anything about healthy human relationships? What wisdom could I impart to them to help them live a happy life?"

It didn't sound like something Hazō could respond to.

"Can I tell you something?" Inoue-sensei asked.

Hazō, feeling himself growing sleepy and really not wanting to move, made a vaguely affirmative noise.

"I noticed it when we were settling into our base at the swamp," Inoue-sensei said. "All these children who suddenly had nowhere to go back to. Nowhere to retreat when things got too much, nowhere to heal. And the other adults weren't helping. Some just didn't care. Some were too lost in their own problems. Some simply didn't know what to do.

"That's when I started wondering. Maybe the reason I'd left it all behind and joined Shikigami's crazy project wasn't so I could keep twisting minds, or turning people into helpless puddles of lust, or spilling blood by the liter. Maybe it was for something different.

"And as soon as I started looking for someone to help, I saw her. This little girl, right on the edge of breaking. The smallest push, from anywhere, and she'd shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. Once she did, the Reaper would reach out to her, and she would leap willingly into its arms. Of course I recognised it. I'd done it to people myself before.

"So I threw myself into helping her, because I wanted to believe that I could. I talked to her, I protected her, I adapted my genjutsu to do things it was never designed to do. It took its toll, on both me and her. But I managed to hold her together. I couldn't save her, but at least I could keep her alive, and a person, and with enough mental health to keep struggling through the mist.

"She loves me now. Or, well, she loves Inoue-sensei the incredible jōnin, the one who gave her light in the darkness. She doesn't know Inoue Mari, the flailing not-quite-adult desperately making it up as she goes along. And if I try to set her free, I'll only end up breaking what I fixed, perhaps for good."

Inoue-sensei sighed.

"It was so much easier back when I was just carrying out missions," she said distantly. "If an infiltration went wrong, I'd merely have to kill someone, or sometimes make them kill themselves. Now, there are consequences."

Hazō still had nothing he could say.

"Thanks for listening, Hazō," Inoue-sensei eventually said. "I feel better after getting that off my chest." He felt her diaphragm twitch, an amused snort at what she was saying, given where Hazō was at that moment.

"But," she went on, "it looks like I'm still not ready to bare myself to another person like this. Ironic, huh?

"So I guess I'm taking the coward's way out yet again. And paying the coward's price. Sorry, Hazō."

She tapped him gently on the forehead with her middle finger.

"Forget."

But she held onto him after the genjutsu broke, waiting until he fell asleep.