《System Only Gives Me Useless Gifts》03 - Too fat for Qi?
Advertisement
After meeting with the nurse, Li Yun returned to his homeroom and immediately copied the Liezi. All the teachers were used to his unusual calligraphy obsession, and had given up on asking him to pay attention in class.
In the middle of class, Li Yun dabbled his brush into the ink jar and stroked the last few characters of the Liezi. His parents didn't want to buy him a brush or ink jar because they had already sensed it becoming a distraction. He had to beg Elder Pei to give him an extra set to bring to school.
"Your mom is going to kill me," Elder Pei grumbled.
"Master Pei is the best!" Li Yun used his puppy eyes to thank Elder Pei.
Elder Pei shook his head, already seeing the brat's future as a manipulator. In return for the items, Li Yun had to stop calling him Old Pei and had to, at a minimum, have a passing grade.
After six months of continuously copying the Liezi, the characters were ingrained in his heart. He could repeat it backwards if he wanted to. The only thing he needed to focus on was inscribing the characters correctly to the system's liking. With the last stroke drying off, Li Yun lifted the corners of his mouth.
The reward, +5 Qi.
"Qi?" Li Yun thought. "It doesn't seem useless, but why can't I feel anything?"
An alert appeared in his head that since his body was immature and weak, it couldn't grant him the gift. It advised him to get into better shape before his body could receive Qi.
"Haha!!" Fatty Fang and Bufu both laughed when he mentioned this to them after class.
"The system is calling you fat!" Fatty Fang continued to laugh without a bit of self-awareness.
"Well, this system is right, you're like the second fattest in class," said Bufu.
Advertisement
Looking down at his round belly, Li Yun realized that he was only slightly smaller than Fatty Fang, and getting in shape was not a bad thing. It wasn't like he ate a lot, but his mother's side of the family had naturally bigger bones.
"It's telling you that you're too fat to get qi," Bufu continued laughing.
"Nah, I don't think that's it," Li Yun replied.
Li Yun was pretty sure that the system didn't care, and it had more to do with his body still in the growing stage. If there was one thing he had learned, it was that Taoism doesn't discriminate against body type. Just look at all the old masters like Liezi, Laozi, and Zhuangzi. They were all depicted as elderly seniors about to enter the grave, wizened and ancient.
Another example was Jidao, one of the Eight Immortals, who was known for carrying a fan and resurrecting the dead. To Li Yun, he looked more like a large belly bum sitting on the streets after a night of drinking.
"The first rule of being the main character, you must look the part!" Fatty Fang suddenly declared. "We must get into shape."
"We?" Li Yun wondered why Fatty Fang also wanted to get into shape.
"It's probably to get girls," Bufu remarked.
Bufu was already skinny and a bit of a pretty boy, so he didn't care, but Fatty Fang was always picking on girls.
"What's the best way to get into shape?" asked Li Yun.
"Martial arts!" Fatty Fang replied. "Everyone in martial arts is skinny… except Summo Hong."
Li Yun raised his eyebrow curiously at Fatty Fang, who could barely kick a ball while imitating the folk hero Wang Pei Hung.
"Let's focus on getting into shape first," said Li Yun half-hardheartedly, as he wasn't too motivated. Li Yun took out two wooden talismans and gave them to his friends.
Advertisement
Bufu looked curiously at the wooden talisman charm. The flat rectangular plate, slightly larger than a regular pendant, had a small opening held up by a brown string. The center was inscribed with a strange character that mixed together with the word "luck" and "happiness" like overlapping film negatives.
"What the heck is this?" asked Bufu.
"A big disappointment," Li Yun replied. "It gives the wearer +1 luck."
"No way, that's kinda of cool!" Said Fatty Fang hanging the charm over his neck. "Will I win the sports lottery with this!?"
"I doubt it, my parents didn't win anything," said Li Yun. "My mom even said she lost more in mahjong, although I told her it's probably her poor skill."
"Give me 10 and let me try," said Bufu.
"It doesn't stack up either, that's why it's a big disappointment."
"It still looks cool," said Fatty Fang. He noticed the one Li Yun wore had the shape of a trigram. "Why is yours different?"
"This one is +1 luck and +1 qi," said Li Yun. "After making so many charms, only this one had an extra bonus, so I reshaped it into a trigram to see if it added anything else, but it didn't."
Li Yun had tried the Luck Blessing inscription on many materials found around the house, but wood lumber boards were the best as it was easily obtained from his father and soft enough to etch into. Paper wasn't durable and a slight drop of water would ruin the stat effect. He had to rummage through the storage room to find some of his dad's old tools.
"Are you using tools from your father again?" Asked grandpa Lu Yan.
Li Yun nodded. "Papa doesn't use them anymore," was his excuse.
His father used to make furniture before working in the factory. The factory made furniture, but it was mainly the mass production type furniture.
Lu Yan shook his head. "You shouldn't be using an awl and regular chisel to carve wood."
For Li Yun's birthday, grandpa Lu Yan got him a wood carving set.
After carving numerous planks for a few weeks, Li Yun was excited to create his first artifact with +1 luck. Unfortunately, the excitement died after realizing that it had very little effect on anything. It was as useless as the other gifts he had received. The worst part was that the bonus mission award was also +1 luck.
"Well, don't feel so down, maybe the next mission will give you better stuff," said Bufu.
Li Yun nodded, he was optimistic about the next mission.
Just as they were walking, they heard the middle schoolers picking on a boy. The three friends eyed each other, nodded, and then ran the other way.
The unfortunate thing about having the elementary school, middle school, and high school so close together was that the older kids tended to pick on the little kids. Bufu looked like an easy target, but he was often with Li Yun and Fatty Fang, so the older kids rarely picked on him. Most bullies avoided Li Yun and Fatty Fang just because of their sheer size, but it didn't mean Li Yun and Fatty weren't afraid. They were the sorts who ran away from the first sign of danger.
As old man Sun Tzu used to say, retreat was the best strategy.
Advertisement
- In Serial128 Chapters
Unfamiliar Faces(Completed)
Live a long enough life and boredom becomes the enemy. Live a strange enough life and you start to crave a little more normalcy. Old Monty has been around for quite a while. Long enough for all his enemies to have either died off or gotten over whatever they were mad about. Long enough for all his friends to have either moved on or moved up to higher planes of existence. For eons he slept, unbothered, unprovoked, unremembered. Now a whole new life is knocking at his door. A whole new adventure as the familiar of an intrepid but callow young mage. Can a immortal lord of the void lower himself to being a mortal's partner-in-crime? Yes. Will there be some good stupid fun along the way? There better be...Or the whole world might be in trouble.
8 188 - In Serial41 Chapters
The Search for Knowledge
A meeting of five people to start a simple research endeavor becomes a grand adventure filled with magic, gods, and the unraveling of worldly secrets. Join Rox, Feera, Toley, Kara, and Sheeron as the hidden truths of the world of Chalice are revealed, along with plenty of action and comedy. What will be discovered? Find out in "The Search for Knowledge". Author: Silence Illustrator: Cookichuu Editor: Plastic Saint
8 367 - In Serial20 Chapters
Eden Garter, Dragon Anomaly
2002 - Martial Law has been declared only short while after the sinister assault upon the twin towers on September 11, 2001. Eden Garter is a 23-year old mix-racial young man who has been selected to be part of an 4th-dimensional group battling against the infamous "Illuminati". Now that the shadowy organization has begun to take over his universe, he one of the only people who can stop them. With his allies, Hinata Dyne, Opal Kindred and Densetsu Kusanagi, he is determined to use the Dragon Glyph to annihilate the puppets, drive back the Illuminati and in turn avenge the ones he held so dear. Over the course of his first adventure, relationships will form and shift, and the hearts, minds and souls of all involved in the conflict will all be tested.
8 157 - In Serial73 Chapters
Cheating Monster
Book 1 - Cheating Monster: The mightiest tadpole.Book 2 - Cheating Monster: The mightiest spore.A comedy taking itself seriously. Follow Kneeko, a formerly dead man who used to live as a digitized consciousness, dwelling in online worlds commonly known as VRMMOs, who has now returned to the real world with a new body. He now live a comfortable life, working for his father's company as a 'competition crusher'. His job description, ""to hack and create chaos in their competitor's VRMMO worlds."Everything would seem as if he Kneeko had finally met a good ending, but how did having lived for over 10,000 in-game years affect his ancient mind. -Author's note: Those who know my work know to always expect the unexpected... Things are not always what they seems to be.
8 227 - In Serial11 Chapters
Rebirth as Evol a certain evil goddesses's stupid mistake
My name is the goddess of sinful flame Azarias the most perfect and mightiest who all should bow before, perfect in every way from my slim and noble chest and flat stomach to my soft yet caramel skin from where the dark red flames that forms my divine limbs and sacred dress. all would be perfect if not for the low number that pray to me seeking help from less impressive goddesses i sought to summon one who would spread my name across space in exchange for a simple wish. Oh, poor fractured and twisted soul become my champion and grant me every world. wait why do you sit staring at that woman obey me and conquer!!!!!!!!. and this is the tale of my misfortune summoning a Tokusatsu lover to other worlds. this is my first story and sorry if any mistakes got no editor lol this will have lots of rider and jojo references
8 137 - In Serial52 Chapters
BE ALRIGHT
[COMPLETED] "does that give you a right to yell at a girl in front of some media? Now how can we clear up that mess? The company called me and some investors are trying to pull out their shares are you happy about that" he said with his eyebrows creased. " wait up," Jackson said" the girl seems to not know Jennie and so does Jennie. Now we can propose the deal to the girl. Jennie can have the company and we can tell the media that they're just arguing like normal couples" Jackson said and all of us grew silent while looking at dad.Trailer: created by LiNiFilmProduction https://youtu.be/QQuHawujGu0Highest rank #1 Jenlisa
8 123

