2.3.1

More to Unpack

She rotated to find only Anders remained, with her armor in his arms. But behind him, another body appeared at the head of the ramp.

Captain London stepped into the sunlight in his finely pressed uniform, and a swell of pride drew Astrid to attention.

The edges of the man’s eyes crinkled in a smile when she immediately jogged over to meet him, and he extended his hand first.

“Welcome back, Specialist Hale.”

Astrid shook his hand solidly and recalled the first time she’d done so.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to be back, Captain.”

Behind his reception, a grim weight burdened his smile.

“I’ve been hearing good things of your progress, here. You’ve garnered a lot of attention.”

“Good or bad?”

“At this stage of the game, both play in our favor. We need their attention before we can direct it.”

With so much for her people on the line, it hardly felt a game, but Astrid took his meaning.

“Admiral Mays said something’s happened? Might that be related?”

“Perhaps. Though for your sake, I hope not.”

At his cryptic deflection, Astrid scowled. But the captain quickly detoured.

“I’ve instructed Anderson to get you settled. We’ll discuss the rest shortly. For now, I have my own meetings to attend. I trust you and the lieutenant-commander can keep the Aldebaran secure until I return?”

“Yes, sir.” Astrid and Anders nodded in unison.

“Very well. Sit tight, we’ll tell you all we know as soon as we can. We’ll need to move quickly.”

The captain marched past them, and Astrid watched a moment before she directed her attention to Anders.

“That didn’t sound good.”

The man’s lips twisted in what should have been a comforting smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Astrid grew all but convinced she would not like the news their arrival brought.

“Come on,” he said shortly.

Astrid hooked her arm under the strap of her duffle, then trailed after him.

The shadowed hold offered cool shade. Behind the double doors at the rear, the engine sat quiet, and Astrid breathed in the familiar scents and sensations of an environment she visited in many a dream. This ranked better than all of them.

Anders stalked past her and set her things beside her locker. He waited for her to join him, then she noticed the freshly attached nameplate over the narrow door to her personal cabinet.

She looked from the letters stamped above, to him, and then back.

Hale.

“You guys did this?”

“Thanks to the Board, we knew you would return eventually. And Captain wanted to make it official.”

Astrid peered back and her fingers fell to the tags against her chest. Words became meager things to describe what she felt.

With reverence, she stashed her underarmor, packs, and new favorite hand-cannon, into their assigned space. Like moving back into a home, no matter how small the box.

She lovingly dismantled her armor from its travel case and deposited each piece in its corresponding cubby, for ready access later. The crate took place with the others nearby. To become just one of a many. Her tablet, books, and what few civilian garments she’d acquired, she collected and left in her bag on one of the benches, to be taken up to the quarters when ready.

And Anders waited, patient.

Though she felt his relief match hers, she could sense he held something back just behind his white noise.

The quiet sharpened the void of whatever it was he wouldn’t say. And after Astrid ran out of things to unpack, she ventured to draw him out.

“The captain keeps mentioning how special it is that I was chosen. That it had to be the right Channeler. But if I had been pulled into just any team…” she rambled. Her teal eyes swept over the lockers to each emblazoned name plate that matched hers. “I guess I just feel like you guys are the special ones, you know?”

Her companion’s lips quirked at the edges. “I’m glad you think so.”

But he gave no more.

“Anders,” she finally pressed. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

Astrid waded through his subtle buzz. This time, she stared, and he nearly squirmed under the hold of her eyes.

“I mean the whole crew is groundside so we can be alone. And there’s something clearly bothering you.”

“No Channeler mind tricks,” he attempted a jest. But it fell flat.

“Anders.”

Finally, the officer’s facade crumpled, and his usual sincere self took its place. To Astrid, he looked more recognizable, even in the tension that simmered under his expression.

He cut his light brown curls closer, she realized. Neater, as if to reflect his promotion. But those eyes were still the same. And as deep as they glowed, they could not hide his concern.

Anders took her hands in his, and she would have found the gesture sweet, had he not then pulled her to the bench to sit. The anticipation of impending doom overshadowed the gentleness he took with her.

“The captain gave us time alone so I could give you a heads up, so you aren’t blindsided in our first briefing. But I don’t know how I should start.”

The sentence hung, stale in the air, and dread threatened to spread in Astrid’s stomach.

“Please, just say it.”

He grimaced.

“We don’t reject missions due to personal sensitivities,” he began. “In fact, this one is going to be extremely personal, and I can’t imagine you not wanting to be a part of it. But… we’re worried what it will mean for you.

“Sanctuary Endra,” his finally divulged. “It’s been attacked.”

A sudden chill ran the length of Astrid’s spine. For a single second she thought she misheard.

“En-Endra?”

Anders nodded gravely. “Twelve days ago. I’m so sorry, Astrid. Your Keeper, Alethea, she’s still alive. She asked for Captain London by name. He put in the request to the Board immediately. Given our team’s relationship to the facility, the Board authorized us to investigate ourselves and chase it down because…”

“Because of me…” Astrid breathed. “It’s about me.”

She dropped his hands and rose to her feet in a flash. In a moment she reviewed every conversation she ever held with Rahna. Any plan that may have been enacted, any horrible plot she feared could be visited upon her childhood home.

The images it conjured did anything but comfort her. The inhabitants were grouped by age, but even in the best-case scenario, had only adults been targeted that meant the loss of friends, teachers, and caregivers. People she’d known her entire life.

“We don’t know that.” Anders sprang to his feet to follow her. “But we’d be blind to not consider it a possibility. Even if it isn’t related, we thought you’d want to see for yourself.”

“What do we know?” Astrid kept herself turned away from him. Faces flipped in her mind, and she hugged herself. She understood why the captain wanted them to discuss it privately. Now, before they were in the air.

“There were some deaths,” Anders breathed from a few steps behind her. “And a lot of injuries. They’re still counting. But the Keeper seems to believe some are missing altogether. Either they were kidnapped or…”

Or there’s nothing left of them, Astrid finished for him.

“Deaths? The Guardians? Students?” she whispered into the spacious cargo hold.

“We won’t have those details until we go meet with your Keeper ourselves. That’s where we’re headed.”

Astrid clutched her crystal on impulse. Though she found her fingers weak.

“I’m so sorry, Astrid.”

She took his apology, not that Endra fell under attack, but that at least some of her people died. Of all their potential identities, none were acceptable. They were all innocent.

Arms came around her and she turned to bury her face into the shoulder of a friend. She instinctively tried to process her emotions as efficiently as possible, but against the assault of unwanted visions, Astrid clung to Anders for stability.

He held her just tight enough to ground her. But she found her feelings suspended in a pool of disbelief. It didn’t feel real. It couldn’t be. There could be no overlap between the “real” world, and the one she left behind. In her memory, and in the past, Endra stood untouchable.

“How soon can we get there?” she asked dismally against his collarbone.

“We’ll be headed to Endra immediately, but it will still take a few days. We’ll get there as soon as we can. Ricks’ll make sure of it.”

“Anders.” Her voice wavered. She didn’t even know what to ask next. There was nothing he could say that could guarantee all her friends back home would be okay.

“We’re here for you,” he muttered into her hair. “I am.”

Anders hugged her a little tighter. Something about his embrace felt different than with the others.

She slowly detangled herself. Too much lay on her heart to scrutinize the strange feeling any closer, and she needed to breathe.

“What if it is because of me, Anders?” she posited. “How do I live with that?”

“As your commanding officer I’m supposed to say something affirming here,” he replied. “That great measures have a cost, and they still must be taken. That this should be an ‘acceptable risk’ on the scale of what you’re trying to shift.

“But honestly, as a friend, I think the best we can aim for is relentless focus. If it hurts, for as long as it helps you, use it. That’s how we’ll track down the people that did this.

“We’re going to help you, Astrid. If it is your recruitment that exposed Endra, we’re all involved. We all want to see it answered for.”

Astrid swallowed and forced an unsteady nod.