1.19.2

Tempered

Tenya tailed Astrid into the cargo hold for gear maintenance, as the return to the ship had been a flurry.

“Are you o—”

“I swear to god, Tenya, people need to stop asking me that!” Astrid felt the words throw themselves from her busted lips without filter.

Tenya’s steps staggered. “Hey, sorry! We just worry. We know this is new for you.”

“What I know is that I don’t need to be babysat. Am I part of this team, or aren’t I?”

Astrid nearly stomped to the table piled with abandoned armor.

“Alright, Rue. If you could bring my friend Astrid back, I’d appreciate it.” Tenya muttered. She tracked after the Channeler.

Aggravated, Astrid tried to let that one slide. She sat herself at the bench and Tenya collected the nick-fixer and buffing wax.

“Am I not allowed my own motivations, too?” Astrid vented.

“Yeah, girl, but you can’t be getting in the captain’s face about it. Has he ever given you a reason to think he won’t listen to you?”

Tenya plopped across from her and placed the toolkit between them.

Begrudgingly, Astrid knew better. “No, I just-...I hate-”

Exasperated, Astrid blew a slew of air between her lips until they thrummed. In her frustration, the ache it caused seemed fitting.

“Say it,” Tenya instructed. Her fingers reached for a ball-peen hammer to address the fresh dents in her pearly breastplate. “What do you hate?”

Astrid thumbed the knee plates of her boots, where her collisions with the stairs, the ground, and then the ground again, dug into the material.

Her face still hurt. She wanted to rub her cheek, but it remained nearly as rough as her armor’s knees.

“I hate that I liked hurting him,” she finally confessed, barely above a grumble. “Graves. I hate that I liked using my ability to do it. I hate that I don’t know how long my people were in there. And I hate that the only thing I can do about it now, is do this all again. I want to rip them apart, and I hate that I have to, and I hate that I want to.”

After her sour tirade, Astrid braved a glance to Tenya. But the woman, sympathetic as always, only simpered.

“I think we all relate to that very well.”

“You all feel this way?”

“Yup.”

“All the time?”

“All the time.”

Astrid frowned. “How do you… how do you live like that?”

Tenya tinkered away at her armor. Methodically, she banged out dents, then rubbed sealant over the scratches. “It’s… addictive.”

Astrid fell silent at that.

“Look, I know this is a huge change from the Sanctuary, but it’s like that for us, too. I love seeing my family, and every shore leave with them I feel so happy but… it doesn’t feel real. We go home and it’s like… we forget how to be ‘normal’. All of us. It feels like another assignment, some kind of foray into a world not our own.

“This, right here,” Tenya gestured to the work before them. Tools, weapons, and armor, evidence of a day steeped in battle. “This feels real. I mean, seeing what we saw today, how could I sit home? If you stay out of it, you’ll always ask yourself if there’s more you could have done. The only way to put an end to that question is to know that no, there isn’t.

“Astrid…” Tenya paused until the Channeler met her warm eyes, “you did everything you possibly could. You couldn’t have gotten there sooner. We acted on every lead we had, and as quickly as possible. That’s how you’ll sleep tonight.”

Vexed, Astrid returned her attention to her task.

“And now we wait for intel to wade through the mess? See if we get another lead? It doesn’t feel like we’re any closer.”

“We are,” Tenya reassured. “Sometimes we just don’t get to see the fruits of our labor right away. Just wait until we get to see how pissed we made them. I dare you to keep the smirk of your face when that day comes.”

A third body joined them at the table, and with a disgruntled sigh Romo flicked at the bullet still embedded in his armor. “Now, what do I do with this?”

Still, the ease of his nature came a welcome element. Even his irritation over the mark seemed playfully exaggerated.

Tenya shrugged. “That deep? I say patch over it until we get back to Earth. You take that nugget out and you’re just going to have a thin spot, and a second shot in the same place will definitely punch through.”

Romo gave another sigh and reached for an epoxy mix to reinforce the indent. “Might just buy the new model after this run.”

“Ooh, boys and their shopping,” Tenya teased.

Romo eyed the glimmer of the chief’s custom armor.

“Yeah, okay, point taken,” she submitted to the irony. "How's the wound?"

Romo lifted his fatigue shirt. A deep bright purple and red spot bloomed precisely where the shot landed, but in a broad swath.

"Damn! You get Ishioka to take a look?"

The agent readjusted his shirt, though when his fingers brushed the spot he hissed. "She says nothing's broken. Guess I got lucky."

"Thank goodness for that," Tenya reiterated a shared relief. Astrid however, found herself sensitive to every time a shift in Romo's torso made him blink away a wince.

Carefully going over every armor piece to look for weak points and damage proved a slow process. But as reports were filed and tasks completed, one at a time, others joined them.

Anders and Rue first. Then, Karth appeared to see how things were going and ended up pulling up a second table to help. Dell arrived later. His own gear mostly unscathed, he stayed to keep them company.

“Tenya, you get to the weapons yet?” the technician asked.

“Nah, they’re over on the bench. I will.”

“It’s alright, I can.” Dell rose to retrieve them, then returned to where everyone worked.

“Always the gentleman,” Tenya winked, grateful.

Karth, without a word, took over next to Dell to work on the guns as well.

Rue diverted her attention briefly from her onyx-spiked plate. “Don’t worry about mine, I’ll take care of it.”

Dell snorted. “Please. Like I’d dare touch your baby.”

Those around the table sniggered in agreement.

“Speaking of…” Tenya set another finished piece on the table’s surface. “Romo mentioned taking a little shopping trip when this is over. Anyone else in?”

“I’m always up for seeing what’s on the market.” Anders agreed.

“Do you think the boys in R and D came up with anything new since our last tour?” Romo asked.

Rue huffed. “Things in the private sector push the boundaries more. I’m telling you, we need to hit the Raider stations.”

“Yeah, but we’re better funded,” Anders argued.

“Actually, I hear there’s this new media-communications device that can track several comms at once and has long-distance extranet hook up!” Dell described enthusiastically.

Karth quickened his work with a cleaning rag. "I'm not hearing this."

“Isn’t that illegal, Mister Davis?” Tenya waggled a brow.

“Oh, what, the black-ops operative isn’t willing to risk black market?” Romo shot back.

“Astrid, back me up here!” The chief bumped Astrid’s shoulder.

“I would think that a military Special Task Force that kidnapped a dangerous fugitive from a government sanctioned reservation would have bigger concerns than the legality of some comm-jacking spy-phone.”

At Astrid’s mocking smile, half the table descended into chortles. Tenya tossed up a hand in defeat while Dell hooted in victory.

“One more for the dark side,” Romo laughed.

"I am not hearing this," Karth reiterated.

In rising spirits, the crew shifted subject to something less offensive to the commander's responsibilities. Astrid listened in to mixed topics from new products, to jokes, to reminiscing stories of people and places she didn’t know.

After all her armor’s scrapes and scratches were filled, Anders showed her how to gently buff out the fine fractures.

The buzz of the group’s energy melded with the hum of banter, and like the sound of the engine itself, Astrid grew accustomed to the noise. Slowly, it managed to lull her into a sense of contentment, despite her troubled concerns. And the Channeler fell adrift among the respite of companionship.

The haunting visage of blood and bodies faded as though merely a bad dream in an otherwise optimistic adventure.

~~~

Once the group completed their chore, they broke for some supper. And by the time Astrid flung herself into her bunk, she felt thoroughly and pleasantly exhausted.

She slept so hard her body lay nearly paralyzed under its own weight when a splitting siren cut through the sleeping quarters hours later.

The alarm, shrill and relentless, startled the crew to bolt upright.

“What…?” Astrid winced through the dense fog that muddled her senses. “What is that?!”

Then, all at once, Tenya leapt from her bed. The proverbial fire under the woman's ass drove Astrid to her feet faster than any blaring siren.

The gunnery chief shouted over the room while the rest of the women still blinked.

“Contact Alarm! Enemy inbound!" Tenya cried. She banged on the bunks, eyes wide. "Suit up, let’s move!”