“No. Nope. A thousand times over, Hells no. Get that thing away from me, ye wee dobber!”

“Aww come on Scraps!” Zacharias wheedled in what he probably thought was his most charming tone. “It’s perfect!”

“Ye can stop callin’ me Scraps for a start,” Winifred said, arms folded tightly across her chest. “I dinnae mind going along with this auction gig of yours but that!-“ She pointed towards the offending object. “Was nae part of it! So ye can get that idea outta ye wee head!”

“But you’re the only one that can do this!” Zacharias pointed out. He patted the lovely silken ballgown that was currently thrown over his shoulder. “You said yourself, there’s no way Squeakers is gonna be able to get in and we can all agree we don’t wanna see that fucking squat little Goblin in a dress… and as for me, well as great as I’m sure I’d look… I doubt I’ll convince the Richies I’m one of them,” He tossed the ballgown onto her bed. “Whereas you, well, you’re from old money innit? You’ll fit right in!”

“Aye, and what part of me is gonna fit in, eh?” Winifred demanded, looking at the deep blue silk horror in utter disgust. It was exactly the sort of dress her mother would pick out for her. All tight corset and stupid billowing skirt. “Would that be my muscles or tattoos?” She flexed her left arm, showing off the impressive tattoo sleeve she’d had inked. It was an intricate design, depicting a large scale battlefield of dwarven infantry clashing with orcish warriors.

She’d gotten the tattoo a long time ago, penning the design itself from memory. Blackmaul had sported the same design across his back but where hers was simple ink, his had moved like something more, the Dwarves and Orcs flowing from moment to moment as they battled against each other on his battle scarred skin.

“Well, that’s why when I robbed it, I made sure it’s got long sleeves!” Zacharias explained, he grabbed one of the offending sleeves and flapped it at her. “Isn’t this the kind of shit you used to wear? You’re-”

“If ye tell me I was born to wear that thing, I’ll stuff it so far down yer wee throat you’ll be shitting silk for a week!” Winifred warned, glaring at the grinning Halfling prick.

As much as she was enraged at the idea, she also couldn’t help but agree that it made a lot of sense. Out of all of them, she was the one who’d be able to seamlessly fit in with the rest of the rich crowd of nobles and dignitaries that were invited to the auction. She hadn’t really wanted to admit it, but she’d even been to one of them a few years ago with her parents. It was hard not to openly cringe at the memory but there was no doubt that she knew how the auction worked, Hells she even knew the general layout of the mansion.

“It’s only for one evening,” Zacharias continued placatingly. “Come on, it ain’t even for a full evening if ya think about it! Just long enough for us to get what we want and get the Hells out. C’mon Winnie, you know it makes sense!”

Winifred let out an involuntary groan. She’d known her day would be off to a shite start when she’d woken up with a raging hangover and a thirst for another Dragon’s Blood hit. Zacharias turning up at her door with the Nightmare In Blue Silk really hadn’t helped matters.

The wee Halfling had laid out the information about the latest gig at the pub the previous evening. He’d heard on the grapevine that one of the lots at the Casey Auction was going to be the Purene Ruby. It was one of the most valuable magical artifacts in the world and hadn’t been on public display for almost half a century. The previous owner had recently died and the gem was up for grabs once more, though how it'd ended up in Dray'Mel was anyone's guess.

That, apparently, was when Zacharias had the grand idea of stealing it. It had been easy enough for him to get his sticky paws on a ticket (and she’d checked, it wasn’t forged!)

According to the wee man, Skrakch knew some Grif called Kuosh who could help them move the expensive artifact out of Dray’Mel to find a buyer so it would be ‘a piece of piss’.

And here she was being the fly in the ointment. It was well known that the Casey Auction was heavily guarded and would probably be even more so this year with the Ruby on display. Lord Casey never spared any expense when it came to security for his auction. Not only would it have wall-to-wall guards both in and outside the mansion, but he’d also have mages on the payroll to detect and deflect any spells.

So she could see how this way was their only real option. Zacharias’ idea was that she’d dress up as some silly, fluttery harlot and try to woo the winner of the Purene Ruby. Once the winner was ‘handled’ in the Halfling’s words, they’d be free and clear. In his head, seduction was the best way to go.

Not that she really minded that part of things. It wouldn’t be the first time that Winifred had had to use her feminine charms like that. It was definitely much easier than a punch-up. But spending a couple of hours before that dressed like some stupid princess? Well, that’s where she had the issue.

“Just think of the gold mate!” Zacharias’ fresh plea brought her out of her gloomy reverie. The Halfing had left the gown alone and was rummaging through her food cupboard. He emerged a few seconds later with a half-open sack of peanuts. “And don’t forget…this is probably gonna be one of the last times we can make a play like this. Once it gets around that you’re a fancy-arse Chosen, you’ll have people wanting a piece of you every which way,” He added as he tossed back a mouthful of nuts, obnoxiously smacking his lips.

“Fine, fine,” Winifred huffed. She definitely wasn’t about to admit that Zacharias was right but she had to concede it was the best and safest way of pulling it off.

“Nice one!” Zacharias grinned at her. “You’ll be fine Winnie! I cased the Casey estate the other day. There’s a barn right near the edge of it. I reckon it’ll be safe enough for Squeakers and the runt to hide out there-”

“Aye…and yer gonna be inside with me!” Winifred replied, a smile spreading across her face. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? “I’m nae goin’ in there on my own, what if I need backup?”

“Well, I know I’m amazing and all that but we all agreed that place is hard to get into. I guess you could take the Goblin in with ya? Maybe hide it under your skirt? Then if it all goes tits up, just be like ‘the Goblin tried to nick it,’” Zacharias nodded at his own plan. “Yeah, that’ll work…”

“Dinnae worry Wee Man…I’ve got the perfect way of getting ye in there. Ye just leave it with me!”