Bob smiled and heaved a contented sigh, the only sound other than the rhythmic clank of his boots on the metal floor.

Finally, finally, things were back to normal.

The metallic floors, the metallic walls, the metallic ceiling. The itching on his nose he couldn’t scratch due to the full-body armor at all times policy.

He was home.

And this boss wasn’t even that bad for once!

The metallic walls were painted with murals of the ocean and all the creatures that dwelled within, breaking up the monotony of the patrols. There were even windows, windows! He could see the sun upon the ocean outside of their beachfront facility.

The armor was painted with bright colors and floral patterns, allowing for some individuality and expression.

She never yelled or got excessively angry.

She treated her minions like family.

She was altogether very chill.

So chill in fact, that sometimes she forgot to write up the shifts and arrange for coverage…leaving Bob on double shifts of unpaid overtime…

And sometimes forgot to mention the details of their jobs…leaving Bob to try and manage all the staff on his own…

And sometimes she forgot to mention the crucial, extraordinarily rare material that they urgently needed, forcing Bob on long fetch quests…

And sometimes she forgot to pay her minions…

And forgot to arrange benefits for them…

Yes…forgot…since there wasn’t any Midnight Staffing anymore to…remind…her…

Bob froze.

Being a minion was kind of annoying, wasn’t it?

Bob walked into the large central chamber. A large woman with frazzled black hair and dark, tanned skin stood in the center, wearing a lab coat over a muumuu. She smiled when she saw Bob.

“Eh brah! Howzit?”

Bob tilted his head in greeting as the woman wrapped him in a hug. She was fond of those.

“Hello, Dr. Iwalani.”

“You got da kine?”

Bob nodded and pulled out a glowing rock in a glass container. Dr. Iwalani made a wide grin.

“Ah, tanks brah! I knew you’d get it, yea.”

She took the container and lifted it up, smiling at it.

“We had, like, choke kine jobs for the Association, yea? They like, need all the tech and the money, yea? But we finally pau with all that!”

She started to walk over to the center of the room, where a giant cannon-like device was being constructed.

“You know brah, when I was a little girl, I like go beach, all the time. And you know, when I wen see the line where the sky meets the sea, it like, calls me, yea? And I tink, is no good go keep all da kine feelings to myself. Gotta have that aloha spirit, yea? So I tink, if we go use da kine Mega Sunray and melt the big ice caps, the sea wen go rise and stuff. Then no one knows how far the line of the sea go, yea? And then, whole world go and enjoy the water!”

She slid the container into a slot and the cannon began to hum to life.

“Good job, brah! You go pau hana now, yea?”

Bob nodded.

“I’ll take my time off then, call me if you need me.”

“Shoots brah!”

With that, Bob left the room. After all, he had calls to make.

Dr. Iwalani smiled and hummed as the Mega Sunray stirred to life. She pressed a button and the walls and roof of the chamber folded in on themselves, revealing the sun and the ocean just outside. The chamber formed into a half dome and the inner wall panels spun around, exposing the mirrors on their other sides. Sunlight reflected off the dome of mirrors and concentrated on the Mega Sunray, which began to glow.

Just then a wave exploded out from the ocean, carrying a woman on top of it. She had a tall and thin figure, blue hair and glowing blue eyes on her head. She wore a pointed blue witch’s hat, a blue cape, and a blue one piece swimming suit with a belt full of pouches. In her hand was a rod of hardened drift wood topped with a gleaming sapphire.

Aqua Mage had arrived.

“It’s over, Dr. Iwalani! Surrender!”

Dr. Iwalani grinned at the hero.

“Hoh, You like scrap with the ocean? Let’s go, you lolo!”

Aqua Mage frowned and held her staff up in front of her, a geometric pattern forming in front of her out of blue light. Dr. Iwalani just raised her hand.

A wave rose up behind Aqua Mage, a turquoise light glowing from within it. It slammed into Aqua Mage’s back. She let out a cry as her magic circle dispersed. The water rushed over her and carried her forward.

“You, like, try make the ocean do what you like, yea? But I like, work with the ocean. The ocean is like, my ohana, yea?”

Aqua Mage held her breath as the turbulent waters spun her around. She closed her eyes and held her staff with both hands, the sapphire gem glowing once more. The water surrounding her exploded into mist, leaving the woman on dry ground once more. She picked herself up and face Dr. Iwalani.

“The ocean’s still just water, in the end. If all you can do is toss waves around, you’ll never defeat me.”

She swung her staff and a dozen small magic circles appeared mid-air. The mist surrounding her condensed into ice spikes and shot towards Dr. Iwalani. Another glowing wave shot from the ocean and streamed around the doctor, blocking the spikes. Dr. Iwalani grinned and leapt into the water, the stream carrying her back out into the ocean.

Aqua Mage frowned and ran towards the beach, waving her staff in a circle. A small waterspout formed and rushed towards her, picking her up and carrying her after the Doctor.

Dr. Iwalani turned back, seeing the hero chase her, and grinned. She dove under the water, as the ocean began to glow.

Aqua Mage’s eyes widened. A wall of water rose in front of her, a towering tidal wave with a turquoise glow lifted into the sky, intent on squashing her. Her magic could control any liquid…but all formal magic required concentration and precision. Were she to be caught in a tidal wave like that…

Aqua Mage reached into one of her pouches with one hand while waving her staff with the other. And then she vanished under the wave.

After a few minutes, Dr. Iwalani’s head burst out of the surface of the ocean. She hummed as she leisurely swam back to the beach, walking towards the Mega Sunray once more.

And then she heard a splash.

Aqua Mage shot out of the water and landed on the beach. She was surrounded by a swirling sphere of yellow liquid. Inside the sphere, Aqua Mage was completely dry.

“I told you, if all you can do is toss waves around, you’ll never defeat me.”

Dr. Iwalani frowned and raised her hand. Another wave rose and crashed onto the beach, trying to drag Aqua Mage back into the depths. But the water splashed off Aqua Mage’s sphere, no matter how much water flowed or how fast the torrent grew.

“In the end, the ocean is just water. I am not that limited. With my magic I can manipulate any fluid. Like this hydrophobic liquid.”

Aqua Mage pointed her staff forward and a magic circle appeared. The waves abandoned their assault on her and rushed to form a wall in front of Dr. Iwalani. A jet of yellow liquid shot from Aqua Mage’s magic circle.

And pierced straight through the wall of water, which collapsed onto the beach.

Aqua Mage strode forward, still surrounded by her yellow sphere. Dr. Iwalani was lying on the ground drenched in the yellow liquid, her back leaning against the Mega Sunray. She coughed out some of the liquid as Aqua Mage pointed her staff once more.

“It’s over. Come quietly.”

Dr. Iwalani grinned at her.

“Hoh, you think you all akamai yea? With da kine magic and stuff? But you kind of lolo, yea? You wen forget da kine, you know?”

With that, Dr. Iwalani reached up and hit a button on the fully charged Mega Sunray. Aqua Mage’s eyes widened and she lifted her staff, jets forming and launching from the yellow sphere around her.

But she was too late.

The Mega Sunray exploded, the two women vanishing as fire enveloped them.

In the shade of a tropical grove, a certain spider woman hung from a tree branch, watching over the exploding facility. A spider around the size of a cat crawled towards her from the direction of the facility, a small component on its back. Arachnalich grinned as she reached down to pick up the component.

“My oh my, I know you wanted to turn up the heat, miss doctor, but thermal regulation is still important, you know? Well, I guess we know how far you’ll go.”

With that, she hid the component in her robes and slunk back into the shadows.

Within the facility minions and scientists ran about, shouting and colliding into one another. All around them, the walls shook as explosions continued to rang out.

Suddenly, bells began to jingle in the midst of the chaos.

An explosion rocked the hall, creating a massive hole in one of the walls. Outside, a man dressed in a red and white striped suit twirled and stepped into the hall, bowing and pointing outside with his candy cane staff.

“Never fear, naughty children! Take a trip down candy cane lane with me!”

He twirled once more and put on his hat as the minions followed him out of the facility, where several helicopters waited. Helicopters painted with red and white stripes. The Candy Cane Man smiled and pulled out his phone.

“All the kids are eating candy canes, and Candy Cane Man is bringing them to play!”

“Good work, Candy Cane Man. Did you manage to extract Dr. Iwalani?”

The Candy Cane Man frowned. He pulled out a candy cane and started to suck on it.

“Looks like she went down in history.”

“A pity, but at least we got her staff. Bring them to our research facility, the Association still has need of their talents.”

“Right away, Santa sir!”

The man on the other end sighed.

“I’ve told you, my name is….hah forget it. Just get them out.”

The candy cane man twirled and walked back towards the helicopters. As he did, a red and white sphere dropped from his pockets and rolled into the facility.

The remains of the facility vanished in a red and white explosion, a sweet smell hanging on the air.

Londyn let out a sigh as she double-checked the report. One hero, one villain, both critically injured. It was only thanks to Aqua Mage’s quick reaction that either of them managed to survive at all. But the ILS failed to find a single trace of Dr. Iwalani’s tech…or her staff. All thanks to a strange explosion of some sort.

She rubbed her temples.

Seriously. Couldn’t the villains take a break for once?! Now she would have a nausea-inducing bad feeling about the way this situation ended that she simply did not have the time or resources to do any follow up on. And yet another hero was now out of action for the moment.

Speaking of which, a red light began to flash on her monitor. Londyn clutched her head as she held in the urge to scream.

Villains…are so annoying.