Bob walked through the halls of the building, new armor tugging at his sides occasionally. He winced and suppressed a curse. The good doctor had been careful not to cause any permanent damage, but that didn’t mean the pain wouldn’t linger.

He was getting too old for this sort of thing.

Another minion walked by his side.

“I’m Kasey! What’s your name?”

“Bob, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too! Are you excited?!”

“For what?”

“Our first job, duh! And for the big boss himself!”

“Right…”

“What do you think it’ll be? Shaking down some politician? Armed raid on a convoy? A big heist?”

“...I think this place might be bit different from what you’re thinking.”

“Come on, lighten up a bit! We’re obviously minions working for some secret society! Must be some supervillain evil plot type stuff going on here!”

The two ended their conversation as they neared their destination. They gave a salute to the guards. One of the guards knocked at the door.

“Minion you requested, sir.”

“Enter.”

Bob and Kasey entered into the room. A man sat at a couch, back facing the entrance. He kept his head forward, watching a monitor on the wall.

“Ah, minions, there you are.”

The two gave a salute.

“Ready and awaiting orders, sir!”

“Enthusiastic? Can’t say I hate it.”

The man nodded to himself.

“I want a Venti Green Tea Frappuccino, no classic or base, soy to the second line, one scoop vanilla bean, one pump skinny mocha, 4 scoops of matcha, heaping grande scoop of ice, blended on level 3.”

Kasey froze. Bob suppressed the urge to shake his head.

“Well, don’t keep me waiting.”

“...Yes sir.”

Bob and Kasey were sitting at a table in the break room. Bob took a sip of his coffee and grimaced. So that’s why the boss kept having them make coffee runs.

Suddenly another minion burst through the door.

“You two, newbies, come with me! This is a code red!”

Kasey jumped to his feet. Bob shook his head, taking a final sip of his coffee before he stood up.

The pair jogged after the man as they ran through the halls.

“What’s going on? Superhero attack? Infiltration by Interpol?”

“Worse.”

Kasey turned to look at Bob. Bob could swear he saw the grin under the young man’s mask. He just shook his head.

The three stopped in front of a door.

“Here we are, prepare yourselves.”

Kasey stood at attention.

“Ready for anything, sir!”

The minion nodded.

“Good. You’ll need that resolve.”

He gently opened the door…

Bob frowned.

The sights.

The smells, coming through even the armored mask.

Kasey turned to the man, hand bumping into his mask as he reflexively reached for his nose.

“What…is this?”

The other minion handed them mops and buckets.

“Janitor’s out today, toilet clogged, and yesterday was taco night. Good luck boys!”

And with that he fled down the hall.

Bob groaned.

Taco King is so annoying.

Bob and Kasey stood in a line with several other minions, standing at attention, guns at their side. Kasey turned to him.

“This is it! I can feel it!”

Bob suppressed a sigh.

The door in front of them opened.

There was the back of a large truck. Two minions went and lifted the back door.

Boxes.

Lots and lots of boxes.

“All right, get this into the storage room, on the double! And don’t you lot dare drop a single box!”

Bob shook his head.

You just had to say it, Kasey.

Bob swore as he lowered himself onto his couch, flipping on the television of his London residence. Every muscle in his body ached, his arms and legs barely moved, and there was a sharp pain in his lower back.

Just another day in the life of a minion.

“...and yet another cartel base in Mexico assaulted and captured by the ILS. An ILS spokesperson confirmed this raid is part of Acting Director Carter’s ongoing campaign to bring the late Director Green’s murderers to justice. Just what does this new, aggressive stance by the ILS mean for you? Next up, GNN consults the experts, to find out.”

Bob frowned. It was still early, making waves would be risky.

But he didn’t have enough time.

He forced his trembling arm to move, picking up his phone.

“Claude.”

“Greetings, Master Bob. How are you on this fine day?”

“Tired, new job’s a tough one. How’s the Gaumonts?”

“They're doing well at present, Mistress Anita finally left her room today. The men of the house are most delighted to see her up and about again.”

“Glad to hear it.”

"Indeed, so how may I serve you today, Master Bob?”

“You still have that mablite I sent you?”

“That we do, it is safely stored away as per your request.”

“I think I have a potential buyer.”

“Are you certain? You mentioned this substance could be quite dangerous.”

“I think this time is worth the risk.”

“I’ll take your word for it then.”

“Thanks, let me know your schedule and I’ll set up the talks.”

“As you wish, Master Bob. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

"No, that's plenty. Thanks Claude."

"A pleasure as always, Master Bob."

Bob sighed. Lots of talking. Lots of talking. But it was done.

He had a date.

He picked up his phone.

“Cikizwa.”

“B-Bob, um, nice to hear from you.”

“I’m not mad anymore.”

“I’m sorry!”

Bob let out a sigh.

“Look, do me a favor and we’ll call it even.”

“Yes! I will! Anything!”

“How are things at Midnight?”

“Ah, pretty quiet. Not many jobs coming in these days.”

Bob nodded to himself. Seems whoever this was was indeed respecting their pact with the Eternal Night Sect, including its front corporation. Hopefully that meant he could count on his people there.

“I’d like you to set something up for me, then.”

“I won’t let you down! What do you need?”

“You still have those contacts in the UK, right? The, uh, excitable ones?”

“Those guys? Yea, I have their contact info, why?”

“I have some information they might be interested in.”

A man stood before a warehouse at night. He had on a neat suit, his brown hair just starting to gray. He took a sip from his Venti Green Tea Frappuccino and frowned, a wave of exhaustion passing over him.

Why on Earth was he up this late?

He let out a sigh. It couldn’t be helped. This was a shipment of Mablite, worth more than his entire cell. A failure tonight would have…consequences.

So he was here in person, leader of an entire cell, reduced to a shipping foreman.

“Get a move on, people! Faster you load it up, the faster we can get out of here.”

He furrowed his brow as the minions carried silver, metallic suitcases. There were three vans and six smaller cars, including his own. The minions grunted as they moved the suitcases, one to each of the vehicles.

The man shook his head. Lazy lot, all of them. He could be at home sleeping if they’d just get a move on.

With a final grunt and the click of a door locking, the last package was secure. The men lined up before him.

“Listen up, you sorry lot. This is the most important moment of your miserable lives. What’s in those cases is of great importance to our cause, even one is worth more than all of you combined. Stuff that can change the world in the right hands. So there will be no mistakes tonight. Each of you is taking a great responsibility, I expect to see results. Understand?”

The minions saluted as one.

“Yes sir!”

The man nodded.

“Good. With something like this, even we can’t guarantee complete security. There’s no telling who, or what, is out there tonight. So we’re going to play it safe. We leave staggered, each of us takes a different route. If anything happens, you keep driving and you don’t stop. I don’t care if you die, you make sure that case reaches base with your last breath if you have to, understand?”

“Sir, yes, sir!”

“Good. You two, you have the honor of leading the way. Get in your car and get going.”

The two saluted and moved to the first car. The man smirked as he watched them go.

All warfare was deception.

And to deceive your enemy, you must first deceive your allies.

Their case was worthless, nothing but a pile of lead. All but one of the cases were in fact. Only the case loaded into his own car held any value.

But that’s just how it went. It would be a shame to lose men tonight. But losing the mablite would be far, far worse.

The man watched his phone, waiting for the fifteen minute mark. He turned to the next pair.

“You two…”

And then the world exploded.

The man jumped to the side, screaming as his arm burned. He turned to look, a jet of lava had shot into the air just a foot from where he once stood.

And then he heard the laughing.

“Gwahahaha, right fancy type, innit? You’ll be ‘anding o’er the goods if yah don’t want no Barney Rubble, eh? Ah’m the Molten Robber, you know, and I ain’t playin.”

A man landed before them. He had a spiky red mohawk and a spiked black leather jacket with red flames painted all over and the sleeves torn off, revealing the volcano and flames tattooed on his arms.

The man grit his teeth and swung his head to his men.

“Kill him!”

The Molton Robber grinned.

“Well, ah ‘spose there’s always time for some fun! Git ‘em boys!”

A band of similarly dressed thugs rushed into the area, carrying bats, batons, and crowbars. The minions leapt into action pulling out their guns. The Molten Robber grinned and lifted his hands.

The men screamed as a wall of lava shot in the air in front of them, showering the lot of them. What few managed to escaped found themselves surrounded by grinning thugs.

The leader rushed to his car, scrambling to unlock the door with his uninjured arm, when he felt something hot rush past his face.

“Goin’ somewhere, mate?”

The Molten Robber strode up to the man, towering over him. The man began to sweat and tremble.

“...P-Please let me go, and I’ll give you the mablite.”

The Molten Robber grinned.

“See? Now that wasn’t so ‘ard, was it?”

The man trembled as he rushed to the back of the car, opening up the trunk. He grabbed the case, struggling to lift the heavy cargo and hand it to the man.

“Open it. Ah wanna see this.”

The man gulped and nodded, setting the case back in the trunk and unlocking it. He gasped.

A pile of lead.

He gulped. Molten Robber’s eyes narrowed.

“Wot’s this then? Tryna pull a fast one on Molten Robber, eh?”

The man fell to the ground as he stumbled back. The Molten Robber slowly approached, hands glowing red.

“Let’s ‘ave some fun then, eh?”

A day later Bob and Kasey stood at attention back at base. In front of them a masked man, flanked with guards, opened up a case lying on the table. He took a look at the contents and nodded.

“No other survivors? Any idea what happened?”

The pair shook their heads.

“Boss sent us off first and alone. We were supposed to travel separately and staggered on different routes. No contact until we reached base, so we had no idea something happened until no one else showed.”

The masked man nodded.

“Looks like he did his job in the end.”

He turned and eyed over the pair, then let out a sigh.

“As did you. Good job you two. London cell will take time to rebuild, no sense leaving decent help behind. Come with me, I have work for you.”