Bob stood on the empty plains, watching as armored minions walked around, carrying tools and supplies as they set up structures. A handful of minions stood by his side, tablets and clipboards in hand.

“What’s our status?”

Chris gave a nod.

“Construction is on schedule, but I think Sergei hit a snag.”

Sergei nodded.

“Most of the systems are underway and being installed, but there’s a problem with the centerpiece. To be honest, we haven’t found a suitable active gain medium.”

Bob rubbed his chin and hummed.

“Minh and Cikizwa couldn’t come up with anything?”

Sergei grimaced.

“There were also some snags with the magnetic core, they’ve been focusing on that.”

Bob nodded.

“Try to do what you can to reduce the requirements. I’ll start looking myself, see if I can come up with something.”

Bob pulled out his phone and rung a number.

“Bob!”

“Kanna, how’s the new girl coming?”

“Absolutely incredible! She’s a once in a generation genius, Bob! Let me tell you, she’s going to be running this place in a bit! I wished I could introduce her to my son…”

“He’s not motivated by a traumatic upbringing.”

“Ugh, yes I know. Give him time, right?”

“Everyone grows at different speeds.”

“I know, well, what can I do for you today, Bob?”

“Sending over a list of requirements for an active gain medium, hoping you and Miss Wojnicz could brainstorm possibilities.”

“Klara too?”

“It’s for Miss Le Blank, Miss Wojnicz wanted to participate in her work. Consider it a celebration for her good work.”

“Can I count it as your referral bonus too?”

“...if you must.”

“Well well I was kidding but if you’re offering…”

“But you won’t get to peek at Miss Le Blank’s schematics.”

“Joking! I’m joking, just a friendly joke between friends, right Bob?”

“You never joke about money.”

“That’s…um…I’m sorry please let me have a look.”

“Call me when you have something.”

Bob picked up the ringing phone.

“Kanna.”

“Hi Bob!”

“Got something for me?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“An Iesnuorium and Mablite alloy would do what you need, if processed correctly. The thing is…”

“I’ve never heard of either before?”

“Right. Mablite comes and goes so your people should be able to find it. Iesnuorium though…I’ve only seen it for sale twice before. It’s extraordinarily rare.”

Bob heaved a sigh.

“Send me as much detail on the two sales as you can. Let me know if you think of anything easier.”

“Will do, Bob, good luck on your quest!”

Bob sighed again as he hung up the phone.

Bob looked over the information Kanna sent over and picked up his phone.

“Miguel.”

“Bob, my friend! It is good to hear from you! How can I help you today?”

“Looking for a package you helped bring in a few years back.”

“Ah, sorry Bob, you know I can’t disclose client information, even for you.”

“I’m more interested in where it came from. Looking to make a purchase.”

“Ah, that’s a bit different then, eh? Unfortunately I’m not entirely sure, they just used us for shipping so we weren’t directly involved in the sale. I can put you in touch with the guy who hired us though.”

“That would be much appreciated.”

“Anything for you, my friend!”

Bob walked through the marketplace in Nairobi, weaving his way through the crowd. He made his way towards a handful of men loitering outside a townhouse. The men turned to him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised at his approach. He held up a bag.

“Delivery of tacos. Extra-spicy.”

The men turned away, one of them knocking on the door in a rhythmic pattern. The door opened and Bob stepped into the house. A security guard patted him down, taking the handgun he had in his back pocket, and then led him further into the house.

Bob was brought into an office, two guards flanking the door. Behind the desk sat a man dressed in a suit. He had a ring with a large diamond on his hand.

“And who might you be? I wasn’t aware our, compadres, out west had any business today”

“Bob, I’m looking for Ashon.”

The man made a wide grin, showing his teeth. The guards began to chuckle.

“Ashon is…indisposed. Turns out the ILS takes offense to smuggling weather control devices.”

Bob sighed. Heroes are so annoying.

“I’m in charge now, you can call me Khalfani.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Bob held out his hand, dropping it when Khalfani didn’t respond.

“I’m looking for Iesnuorium.”

Khalfani chuckled.

“That will cost you a pretty penny, you know? Let’s talk about what you can do for me.”

Bob sighed and took out a pendant. Khalfani froze and began to sweat.

He bowed his head.

“My apologies, sir. I-I didn’t realize he sent you. I assure you, we don’t want any trouble with the Scourge of Ragayanza.”

“The Iesnuorium?”

“Right, that was a one time shipment. Ashon had this friend, one of those colonial adventurer types, Brit I think. Settled down near the Congo rainforest. The Iesnuorium was his find, if anyone knows where to find some, it’s him.”

“You know where he is?”

“O-Of course, let me check Ashon’s old records.”

Bob took out a package and placed it on Khalfani’s desk. Khalfani opened it and stared at the contents, eyes wide.

“Your help is most appreciated.”

Bob walked up to a dilapidated shack at the edge of the rainforest and knocked on the door. He waited in silence for a few minutes before knocking again. He waited for another five minutes before pounding on the door.

This time, he heard a crash and some swearing.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!”

The door opened.

There stood a man with one eye shut, a beard that had not been trimmed in years, a stained tank top, and a pair of shorts that seemed a size too small. Bob grimaced as he was hit with the smell of sweat and alcohol.

“Sir Edmund Notfelde I presume?”

“Who the heck are you?”

“The name’s Bob, nice to meet you. I’m looking for Iesnuorium, I was told you could help me find some.”

“Well shove off! I already sold the last of it years ago!”

Bob shook his head.

“I was hoping you could help me find a new batch.”

The man straightened his spine, rising to his full height, opening both of his bloodshot eyes to stare Bob in the face.

“Mate, I got that crap after months of trekking in the green hell they call a jungle, risking life and limb and who knows what else. I have enough adventures for a lifetime. Now you want me to do it again because some stranger shows up at my door and asks me to?”

Bob nodded.

“Aren’t you ready for another adventure?”

The man suddenly grinned.

“Gods yes. Give me a moment to pack my things.”

Bob swore as he swatted yet another mosquito. He, Sir Edmund, and a young guide were hacking their way through the jungle. Annnnnd his boot was stuck in mud. Again.

“Come now, Bob! No time to play in the muck, adventure awaits!”

Bob swore again. Adventures seemed to involve a great deal of walking in mud and parasitic insects.

The three finally made their way into a small clearing. Before them stood an ancient stone temple.

“And there she is. Beautiful, isn’t she?”

Bob nodded, trying to ignore the itch in his neck.

“You know who built these?”

“Not a clue, dear Bob! What do you think I am, an archeologist?”

“Don’t you have a degree from Cambridge?”

“I prefer to forget about pointless things. Now onward! Adventure awaits!”

Bob raised an eyebrow as the young guide started setting up camp.

“He’s not coming with us?”

“Unlike you and I, he has a functional self-preservation mechanism, so he’ll set up camp while we scout the premises.”

Bob swore again.

And into the temple they went. For once Bob was grateful for his fully enclosed helmet as Sir Edmund coughed from the thick dust in the air. Sir Edmund wrapped a filter around his mouth and nose, and then the two headed further in. Sir Edmund stopped and held up his hand as they approached a floor of square tiles.

“Wait, I’ve seen this before. These people loved to fill their temples with traps. Thought to protect the sacred places from the unworthy.”

“I thought you didn’t know who built these?”

“Oh I have no clue who they were. But you don’t go on an adventure without picking up a thing or two. Or at least, you don’t return from an adventure if you don’t.”

Sir Edmund spent a few moments examining the floor and the carvings on the walls before nodding. He hopped on one tile to the right, then to the left, jumped over one row, hit all of the next row in quick succession, then hit two tiles at the same time before leaping to the normal floor on the other side. He then turned and grinned at Bob, giving a quick bow.

“You got all that, right?”

Bob sighed and tapped a button on his wrist. His boots began to glow with purple light and he floated a foot in the air. A quick boost later and he floated above the tiles to the other side. Sir Edmund was frowning with his arms crossed.

“Not very sporting of you.”

“My self-preservation mechanism is at least slightly functional.”

“Tourists. Where’d you get fancy boots like that anyways?”

“Gift from a friend.”

“Fine, keep your secrets.”

Bob shrugged as the pair headed deeper in.

A handful of life or death encounters, widely impractical hallways, ancient puzzles, and allegations of cheating later and the pair reached a large door at the center of the temple. They nodded at each other and opened the large stone slabs.

Inside was an empty room.

“There’s nothing here.”

“That, my dear Bob, is where you’re wrong.”

Sir Edmund strode to the far wall, shining a flashlight on it. He wiped away the dust, revealing a large carved mural. Bob watched in silence as the man pored over the depictions.

“Aha! I got it!”

“What?”

“You see, it turns out this temple is merely part of a wider network! They not only built a pattern into the temples, they built a pattern out of temples.”

“...and what does that mean?”

Sir Edmund turned to face Bob, a massive grin on his face.

“Your treasure is in another castle.”

Bob groaned.

A truck pulled up to the construction site. Bob stepped out of the passenger seat, supervising several minions as they unloaded a large crate. He let out a sigh and walked over to Sergei.

“How’s it looking?”

Sergei nodded.

“We ran the simulations, and it should work. It’s just…”

“What.”

“...Minh and Cikizwa say they’re having trouble finding that Mablite substance.”

Bob turned around without a word and shuffled back to the truck. He softly closed the door, locking it with a click. He nodded to the driver, who stepped out of the vehicle. Then he checked his helmet, making sure it was fully sealed, and turned off his mic.

And then Bob screamed.

Just another day in the life of a minion.