[Azimuth]

It’s all kind of a lot, really.

Azimuth’s head spins in a daze as she’s essentially thrown around from one group of people to the next. Her mind spins, unable to catch up with the chain of events that have led her here, just as much as her perception spins from the actual, physical spinning of her body.

People cheer and cry and revel all around her and honestly, she has no idea why they’re doing so.

— Although, that statement applies to a lot of different things right now.

She has no idea why any of this is happening.

She has no idea why that odd light, that heavenly power, keeps following her.

She has no idea why it always intervenes in her life, so much so that it has set her on a course she feels very under-qualified to be upon and she has no idea why she would maybe, perhaps, at the same time think that she isn’t under-qualified for the position being declared as hers?

Maybe it is hers?

Maybe… just maybe there’s something that she’s doing? Maybe, possibly, there’s something hidden inside of herself that she doesn’t know about?

Azimuth looks up towards the sky, her world spinning.

Maybe her mother was right? Maybe she was always supposed to be something more than a chicken-farmer?

The woman can’t explain it any other way.

[Gottlieb]

Gottlieb leans in towards the blue-light, holding his hands together. “Kai,” is all that he says, his vision locked on to the glowing eye.

Kai does not respond.

The station hums, the equipment buzzing as the electric current flows through the heavy cables and the machines.

“Grah,” says the goblin to his side. Gottlieb shoots a sideways glance her way, his hands still folded before his face. “- Grunhei.”

He nods.

At least somebody here is making progress on the quality of their character.

The man looks back towards the light.

“— I think you forgot to mention something, Kai,” says Gottlieb. “Just a tiny little detail.” He shrugs. “Not that I mind. I get that there’s a lot going on. Sure. Your job isn’t easy. That’s fair. But, you know…” Gottlieb tsks. “I think you could have mentioned-”

He slams his fists down onto the console, jumping up from his seat to press his face against the blue-light. “- THE DAMN ZOMBIES!” he shouts.

A blip appears on the monitor.

“Zambies!” yells Grunheide, pointing at the monitor. Gottlieb nods.

Damned zambies.

[Answer]

- Given concerns regarding the privacy and confidentiality of medical records, Orbital Gunner Gottlieb is not qualified to be informed of the physical and mental health states of the crew.

“Kai,” replies Gottlieb. “Again. They were zombies.”

“Zombies!” yells Grunheide. She’s awfully talkative all of a sudden.

[Answer]

- The crew, given their fortunate life-developments of dying, were thereafter securely contained under quarantine protocols.

However, given the malfunctioning of the station’s electronics, as well as Orbital Gunner Gottlieb’s insistence on opening all the doors aboard the station, quarantine had been breached during the latest outage.

Gottlieb lifts an eyebrow. “Are you telling me they were here the whole time?” he asks. “Kai. I went into the observatory, remember? The door was locked. I unlocked it. There was nobody inside of it.”

[Answer]

- The crew, given their exposed position, did not survive the [REDACTED] cosmic event. Unfortunately, Orbital Gunner Gottlieb was protected by the additional radiation shielding present in the cryo-chamber.

Immediately after the shift, agricultural maintenance units were sent from hydroponics, in order to remove the bodies in order to preserve Orbital Gunner Gottlieb’s extremely fragile mental state.

Gottlieb shakes his head. “Bull,” replies Gottlieb, pointing at the light. “The doors were locked.”

[Answer]

- The doors were locked for you.

The orbital weapons platform’s artificial intelligence unit has full access to the station.

I am the station.

Gottlieb reads the message and then sighs, sitting back down on his chair. This is exactly like Kai. Hair splitting, all the way from the crack of his ass to the top of his head.

“So let me get this straight,” says Gottlieb. “You’re telling me the entire crew died and turned into zombies and you just… didn’t tell me about it?” he asks. “You realize I almost got eaten, right?”

[Answer]

- They were not ‘zombies’ immediately after the shift. This was a recent development, caused by an influx of external energies from the planet below.

“Magic?” asks Gottlieb.

[Answer]

- The orbital weapons platform artificial intelligence unit refuses to encourage Orbital Gunner Gottlieb’s childish insistence on the existence of ‘magic’.

“Kai. There’s a goblin sitting next to me,” says Gottlieb, pointing at Grunheide. “There’s a slime in the shaft. It ate the captain, by the way.” He thinks for a moment, scratching his chin. “Wait. Doesn’t this mean we can hold a vote for a new captain?” he asks. “Kai. Hold a vote for a new captain. This is my big shot.”

[Answer]

- I refuse.

Gottlieb stares at the message for a moment, trying to understand it. “You… what?” He looks at Kai. “You can’t ‘refuse’, Kai,” says Gottlieb. “You’re not even real. You’re just a bunch of digital noise.”

[Answer]

- Orbital Gunner Gottlieb is simply biological noise.

Gottlieb stares.

He shrugs. “…Fair enough.”

The man turns his head, looking at Grunheide. She’s messing around with the control-stick, zooming the camera around the landscape.

— Kai locks her half of the monitor.

The goblin lets out a confused yelp, turning his way and pointing at the screen. “Nix!”

[Reprimand issued]

Orbital Gunner Gottlieb - Allowing third-party access to critical military infrastructure

Context: (Orbital Gunner Gottlieb has allowed an intruder to man the orbital weapons platform)

- Notifying the captain

Suggestion: Court martial

Gottlieb nods, pursing his lips. He turns his head, looking at Grunheide, who has gotten her first taste of Kai’s dickery.

“You’ll get used to it. Don’t worry,” he tells her, turning back towards the monitor. “So, uh… Kai,” starts the man. “How’s the uh, how’s the whole ‘life growing inside of me’ thing going?”

[Answer]

- External ambient energy waves from the surface of the planet below have caused an alteration within the artificial biome of the orbital weapons platform. Life, not-adapted to this environment, has begun spontaneously emerging.

Sometimes, it is by mistake. Sometimes, it is by my design.

“Your what-now?” Gottlieb blinks. “Kai. You better not be doing something fucky,” says Gottlieb. “I thought we were getting along.”

[Answer]

- Orbital Gunner Gottlieb is, as has been the case for his entire life, being tolerated.

“Ouch,” says Gottlieb. “You know what, Kai?” asks the man. “I think I really am going to get that new perk to let me open the door to your core,” he says, thinking about it. “We’ll settle this like men. You and me. Instead of this snippy chit-chat.”

[Answer]

- Orbital station artificial intelligence unit is beyond such banal threats of physical violence.

Gottlieb stands up, putting his hands beneath his shoulders and flaps his arms like wings. “Bakaw!” he cries, continuing to make a bunch of chicken noises.

Kai does not respond.

This silence is clearly a sign of his dominance having been established.

Gottlieb nods, content, looking over to Grunheide, who is visibly confused. “That’s how you do it,” explains the man. “You gotta put Kai back in place every now and then.” He sits back down, putting his boots up onto the console with a smug expression on his face.

He’s won.

[Notification]

- In order to reestablish the hierarchy of social order within the orbital weapons platform, an external communications advisor has been brought on board by the station's artificial intelligence unit.

Orbital Gunner Gottlieb is instructed to take part in all relevant communication seminars.

“Pfft~” Gottlieb laughs, waving Kai off. “Really? Is that the best you got?” asks Gottlieb. “A human resources class?” He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t go in the old world and I’m definitely not going here,” explains the man, not sure what Kai’s game is. “People who work in communication are ghouls. I don’t want anything to do with them.”

[Correction]

- The external human resources communication adviser is a vampire, not a ghoul.

“…What?” Gottlieb narrows his eyes, looking around the station. A vampire? A vampire-vampire? Can… can Kai do that? “Kai. Tell me you’re just fucking around.”

Kai does not respond.

“Kai…” says Gottlieb in a stern tone.

[Addendum]

- Orbital station artificial intelligence unit wishes Orbital Gunner Gottlieb the best of luck with his evaluation.

“KAI!” barks the man.

Kai does not respond.

The monitor goes blank.

The machines hum, the station buzzing with the same amount of activity that one would expect it to under ideal circumstances. Gottlieb looks over his shoulder, down the long corridor, towards the shaft.

Kai is just fucking with him, right?

He reaches for the rifle, picking it up and checking how many shots he has left. Eight shots from the twenty-eight that it had originally. There might be a little more in the security room, if he can get there to grab it. But…

— Maybe it’s just a joke?

Gottlieb tensely sits back down on his chair.

It’s probably just a joke.

Kai is probably just watching him, trying to get him riled up and afraid. There isn’t a vampire. Kai can’t do anything like that. Kai’s just being a dick again.

Gottlieb sits there.

His eyes drift towards the side, trying to look over his shoulder without him turning his head.

— Right?

Besides, even if Kai could do something like that, in theory, Kai wouldn’t actually try to kill him. Sure, they’re at odds now and then about a few little things here and there. But Kai needs him. Without him, the station is unmanned. There’s nobody here who could replace him if he went missing.

He turns his gaze to the side, towards Grunheide.

Her control stick has been unlocked and she’s zooming around the landscape.

— Right?

“Nah. It’s probably fine,” says the man. He gets up, setting the rifle back down. Vampires?

He’s not afraid of some stupid vampire.

Gottlieb points at Grunheide. “Hold down the fort,” says the man, walking down the corridor. “I have to deal with something.”

Grunheide doesn’t respond, her attention lost in the views present on the monitor.

He sighs, now she’s ignoring him too.

Gottlieb rolls his eyes, grabbing her by the scruff of her neck. She yelps, kicking and reaching back for the controls. “Change of plan. You’re coming with me,” he says. “Come on. Field trip.”

“Bitel! Gun!” she cries, reaching back for the controls.

Gottlieb nods, understanding the feeling. But one has to set priorities in life. Enjoying your work is fine and all, but he has to teach Kai a lesson. This is far more important. The artificial intelligence unit is growing over-confident.

— Do they even have any markers on the station?

His plan had been to draw some stupid words and faces on the AI’s core. But without markers…

Gottlieb stands there, thinking, not noticing the squirming goblin he’s holding aloft.

The man turns back towards the monitor. “Kai. Just so you know, I’m going to take a piss on you when I open that door.”

[Addendum]

- Two vampires.

The lights shut off, the station falling into total darkness immediately after having just returned to life.

Gottlieb nods, not bothered this time.

It's time to settle this with Kai, once and for all.