a faceless evil

and quite the heartburn

is what i was left with,

i’ve been looked at

through a thousand eyes

and none were able to

call out my ingrained thoughts.

they thought

i was the living devil himself,

but i made the fucking devil

crawl through the sand.

i held you until you started to breathe, again,

like the air belonged to you too.

i’ve held myself through ruthless fights

but i’d forgotten to find the strength

to breathe / to live with myself.

they thought

i was the living devil himself,

but i made the fucking devil

crawl through the sand.

i was so afraid, so scared, that i

wasn’t doing enough that i

started to do too much and

i ended up being a burden.

oh, please, answer me,

am i real if i’m unloved?

they predicted my mother

would birth the devil

and i scraped myself raw

trying to prove my worth.