I'd never given much thought to how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go.

I waited, anxiously outside my Mom, Renée's house in Phoenix. I wore some skinny jeans and an average shirt. My hair was medium length and brown with some red highlights, natural of course. I was waiting outside her house for Phil, mom's fiancé to come pick us up for my four hour plane flight to Seattle, Washington.

The reason? Well since my Mom and Phil dated more, they got much more attached, but Phil was a minor league baseball player so he travels a lot, leaving Mom at home with me yet that made her unhappy. So I came to the conclusion to leave home, to go to the minute, rainy town of Forks where my Dad, Charlie lived. I'd spend a month in Forks every summer with Charlie, in the drizzle, the cold, the cage-like sky. It was torture.

"Esto, you don't have to do this!" Repeated my Mom, giving me one last hug as Phil finally arrived in his car to take me to Phoenix Airport.

"No, um, I do. I want to," I smiled, hugging her. I had said this lie so predominantly now that it seemed to sink in it was the truth. Even I believed it. I was trying to convince myself this was a good idea for me, but my feelings deceived me.

"Well, tell your father I said hey."

"I will," I gave her one last hug, holding back the tears and got in Phil's car.

On the way there, I looked into the side mirror and saw myself. My incredibly pale skin and lime tinged eyes gazed back at me, showing sorrow and tiredness. I looked down at my frail, weak body, not having cheese grating like abs which most of the sixteen year old boys of my school had. My hair was usually a mess, but today it was nice for once, maybe it was as a farewell gesture. My voice was usually quiet, tamed. I never talked when I didn't need to, and when I did it was almost always awkward, for example, the ride with Phil was awkward as I never spoke to him.

Like I said, I used to go up to Forks every summer, up until when I was fourteen where I finally put my foot down and decided I couldn't take it. Forks was so dreary and depressing that I had to make Charlie visit me, down in Phoenix for a change, it helped also as I loved the sun and hated the cold. Any cold water made me want to shrivel up and die.

When we arrived at the airport, the glass of the modernised structure reflecting the prominent warmth of the sun, I couldn't help but think I was saying my goodbyes to the gargantuan star. I was never going to see the sun in all of its glory in a long time.

I headed for my gate, "Bye, Onesto," Phil most likely did that to spite me, as I hated my real name. Onesto, which is Italian for honest is a name my Mom and Charlie picked when they decided Italy was their favourite country. Onesto Amadeus Swan.

"Bye," I said, waving and walking over to my gate. I nearly tripped on my way there; I'm so clumsy you won't believe it.

Most of the flight was enamoured with a hardly pleasant daze. My eyelids when they flickered open saw that we gliding over dense clouds coloured by the paint of grey. I sighed and shut the blind, stretching the night mask over my twin orbs in exhaustion and stomach churning anxiety.

Just to clarify, I am gay, and I'm not the kind who waves a flag announcing I'm so proud of it. I'm not fazed, I'm just inclined into liking the same sex, and I'm not going to rub in people's faces. Charlie and mom were fine about, in fact they were overly cool, almost relieved. They're all I cared about; anybody else can go to hell.

Getting off my plane in Seattle I boarded the last plane to Port Angeles, the main town near Forks, where I would then meet Charlie who'd drive me in his cruiser to the repetitious town. Charlie was a cop, which was embarrassing for me as I would be known as 'Chief Swan's Son'.

Unfortunately for me, this aircraft didn't have blinds, so I had to gaze endlessly out of the window at the looming pine trees and sunken valleys with powerful rivers forcing their way between them.

I saw Charlie stood there in his police uniform when I got off the miniature jet; he must've just left work. He gave me an awkward smile and I gave him a one armed hug.

"Good to see you, Esto," Greeted Charlie, putting my two suitcases in the trunk of the cop car. I hadn't brought that many clothes as most of them were 'summer' clothes, and I had very little winter attire.

"You too, Dad," We got into the car and drove off for the Hell.

An uncomfortable silence positioned itself in the car, leading me to look out of the window and rest my head against the cool window. I saw the forest; the rain water trickling down the window, this water was an omen. I had to admit, Washington was very beautiful. Green tree trunks for the moss of time had wreathed itself around it, green canopy that blocked out any potential sunlight, even green air. This place was too green. It was an alien planet.

"I got you a car," Charlie said, breaking the silence. He looked over at me, awaiting my expression.

I turned to him, my face plastered with disbelief and gratitude, "Really?"

"Yeah, it's an old one but she'll do."

"Dad you shouldn't have, I've already got some money for a car in my savings," The money was for school, and speaking of school it was the middle of the semester here, so I wouldn't be able to blend in easily.

"No it's fine, I got it real cheap. She's a classic," He looked pleased, yet by the way he said it was cheap seemed to me he meant it wasn't very good.

I looked down, fumbling with my freezing hands, "Oh, um, well thanks, Dad."

"I got it off Billy Black, Jacob's old man."

"Ah, who's Jacob?" I felt awkward asking that.

"You used to make mud pies when you were little."

"Oh I remember now, from La Push?" Jacob Black was a tanned boy, last time I saw him, his hair was shoulder length, I was 13 at the time. My hair just flipped from the right across my face, covering one eye.

"That's him, well Billy gave it to me for 200 dollars, it runs like a top!" He sounded proud, and that's when I realised we were at Forks.

Home to 3,120 people, Forks was as I said, under a near constant cover of clouds and rain, even now.

Getting out of the car, I saw that Charlie's house, which will soon be our home, hadn't changed at all. The white, badly painted wooden frames keeping the house up brought back painful, boring memories. The windows were unkempt and had clutter lining the frames. And that's when I saw it. The truck, not a car, sitting like a demon in the driveway. Charlie fortunately couldn't see my facial expression, but it looked like I just threw up in my mouth and had to swallow it back. The vehicle was a 'red' colour, and I use the air quotes as it was more of a pink-y red. I turned back to Charlie, who was getting the suitcases out, struggling. I went over to help, but my damsel-in-distress body was finding it hard to cope with the heavy boxes. I managed though, but it annoyed me how I was sixteen and weaker than a drowned rat.

Putting my stuff upstairs, into my room which was pretty purple, I saw how much it had changed. The toys which used to be here had been cleared out and had been replaced by a desk where I'd place my Macbook. The bed was the same one, but with purple sheets.

"I didn't know what your favourite colour was, purple's good, right?" Charlie asked, scratching his head.

"Purple's cool, thanks," We walked back downstairs then to inspect the truck. As we passed the kitchen I saw it had the same faded yellow cupboard mom used when she lived her to try and brighten up the place. In her words, she tried 'to bring in as much sunlight as possible.' Mom, sorry, but sunlight is nonexistent here.

Outside, in the freezing cold wind, I put my hood up from my brown leather jacked and wore my grey gloves.

"Well, what'dya think?" Asked Charlie.

"It's good, thanks Dad," I was a terrible liar, but this seemed to do it for him.

"Good. I'm going to go clear some things up for you upstairs, I also cleared some shelves out for you in the bathroom."

"Oh right, one bathroom," I muttered that so he wouldn't hear me.

After putting my things away and crying a little covertly in my room as I realised this was my new life, I heard someone outside. I checked out after my cry through my bedroom window and saw a middle aged man in a wheelchair wearing a hat being pushed up the drive by a cute (not sexual, as in baby cute) boy a few years younger than me with long black hair. I knew that I had to go down to see the commotion, much to my dismay.

"Here he his," Said Charlie, turning to the sound of my black converse touching the wet wood on the porch. The other two turned to see the new boy, the younger one smiled a cheesy grin, he wasn't cute after all, he was quite hot, but his hair was in desperate need of a hack.

"Hey, Esto," Greeted the man in the wheelchair.

"Hey, you're Billy right?" I said, doing a half smile before looking at the boy who smiled at me. He seemed to do a little chuckle when I looked back down the floor.

"Sure am, still dancing like always," We laughed, me laughing a more of a forced laugh, "This is my boy, Jacob."

"Hi, we used to mud pies when we little," He chuckled a little, whilst Billy and Charlie chatted about some fishing trip.

"No I remember, um, tell your Dad I said thanks for the truck," I smiled slightly, and then looked back down to my feet; I looked back up and saw he was looking at me but then looked away quickly.

"Sure I will."

"So, you gonna' check out your truck or what?" Asked Charlie, seeming to be happy that I was pleased. I never usually was. It wasn't that I was depressed but I felt, I don't know, not whole.

"Sure," I laughed at the extremeness of the situation, where Jacob followed me into the truck.

Charlie and Billy watched the vehicle start off.

"Ok, you have to double pump the clutch when you shift but without that it should be good," He pointed to the little cogs as I nodded to him, shivering a little as it was so cold around here.

"Ok, do you wanna start riding to school then?" I was trying to be friendly, he was too.

"Oh I go to school on the reservation in La Push."

"Oh right," I said, flicking some hair from my usually covered eye and gazed at him, he smiled and then got out. "I'm gonna ride it now, watch out. Billy; you and I can race," I laughed at that a bit, causing the others to as well, Billy nodded at me, chuckling to Charlie.

The truck roared to life, making me jump a little. I pushed down the pedal and off I went. I drove down the end of the street and then back, turning on the radio to see how that turned out. It was loud though static.

Coming back then, I parked in the drive, "It's good, thanks for this, Billy."

"Anytime, son. You need it fixed just drop down by our place, Jake here will fix it for you."

Jacob smiled at this, to which I just nodded and left the truck to go inside and get something to eat, "Bye, Billy, bye, Jacob."

The latter waved at me and smiled, whereas Billy just gesture the signal of farewell.

I decided then to raid the house; I was starved. The cupboard were bare, I only found some tomato soup and bread. I had to seriously go get some groceries around here. I raided the fridge, but what was there to raid? It was unbelievably barren! Only butter and milk. What did this guy eat? I Guess I was cooking tomato soup. I poured the soup into a pan and buttered the bread, using the milk as a drink for me and Charlie.

Hearing him say goodbye about 5 minutes later to the Black's cued the moment the soup was cooked.

"I made us something to eat, Dad." He thanked me and said he'd do the washing up.

As we ate, I decided to tell him about his stark quantities of food! "Dad, the cupboards have literally no food in them. So, I'm going to go grocery shopping, can you give me some money for it? I'll go after school tomorrow (it was Sunday)."

He gulped down his milk and finished his soup, "Sure."

"Thanks," That was all we said that night as I decided to go up to bed.

Having a shower and getting changed into a top I got from a cheap store and some boxers, revealing my fairly large bulge if I do say so myself, I got into bed, my medium length hair still damp.

I did some reading, deciding to study Bronte's 'Wuthering Heights', my favourite book. Halfway through where Heathcliffe embraces the body of his former lover, my phone rang. It was Mom.

"Hey, Mom," I greeted, sounded tired, closing the book and putting it on the floor, deciding that was enough reading for today.

"Hey baby, how was your journey?" She sounded excited, and also caught up in something.

"It was...good. Charlie has no food so I'm gonna have to go grocery shopping for him," We both laughed a bit at this and spoke about what she thought my first day at Forks High would be like.

"Do you think you'll meet a hot jock there?" She sounded excited by this and I giggled a bit, pulling my knees up under the covers.

"Probably not, Mom," I chuckled, and said my goodbyes after a slightly emotional conversation.

I smiled slightly at Mom and turned off the light, not eagerly awaiting my first day at Forks High.