" Love was there when we first met and still when you left "

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I stood by her grave holding her favorite bouquet of flowers which were . I remember how she favors roses over different kinds of flowers out there but i know why she did.

It was beautiful like her . .

But it didn't last that much . . .. just like her.

I sat there cleaning the leaves out of where she laid. It had been months and just now my birthday had come. I closed my eyes and breath deeply then exhaled. I open them, the image of her was in front of me. I smiled.

I must be out of my mind right now,aren't I?

She looked at me then smiled. "Jungguk-ah, happy 22nd birthday !" ,she cheered and greeted. My eyes felt stingy looking at her. I want to hold her and never ever let go. I want her to stay with me a little longer,but i can't.

"Why are you crying? Don't cry,Kookie." She said once more. I can't hold on anymore that I just let my tears fall continuously. I miss her already.

" I don't like it when you cry,Jungguk. You have to be strong." She said then I felt the coldness on my both hands. Are you here,right now?

" You have to be strong,Kookie. For us,for me and for yourself. " I closed my eyes then wiped the tears that keeps on coming. I sobbed in front of her grave, " I-I can't,Y/N. It still hurts. I-i know it wasn't your intention to leave but I just can't handle the feeling being alone again." I said.

The cold feeling ran up in to my back as if she was patting my back gently to comfort me. " I understand you,Kook but hey, the guys are still there beside you so don't worry." She said and that made me cry more. As if it was the sign that she really isn't going back anymore. I clutched on my knees while i cried.

She was right. The boys were there when they heard the news and they tried there very best to comfort me. " Learn to love yourself before loving others." "Love isn't about the affection you feel towards the opposite sex but instead it's the acceptance you have towards yourself." , Namjoon hyung said as he just saw me a week ago drunk inside my room. " You'll learn what love truly means when you fully accept yourself." He added.

"She would be happy seeing you being the old bubbly Jungguk she love and i promise you she would be even happier if she sees you like what she wants you to be." He ended picking up the other bottles of soju and grabbing the one bottle out of my grasp. I looked at him and he just smiled.

" I want you to be happy,Jungguk. " she said and the cold feeling that engulfed me a while ago dissappeared. I breathe in and out then stood up.

I turned around and started walking my way to the other guys who were waiting for me in the car. I smiled before completely walking away from her grave. One thing she taught me since the beginning is that i should learn to love myself.