《A Pull Of Destiny》29|A Fear of love
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All at once, the pleasant sky of the day was covered with a thick blanket of darkness like a tornado on way, and Sahasthra couldn't help but shiver at the nippy atmosphere, it was too foggy for her sleepy eyes to comprehend anything as she instinctively wrapped the headscarf over her shoulder for some warmth and by the time she managed to cover herself, miraculously the fog cleared up allowing her a partial view but the sight ahead made her tremble with fear as thin drops of cold sweat formed on her forehead.
A young woman in her early twenties lay on the forest ground, surrounded by tall trees and dense bushes as she wailed, catching her bleeding stomach. Dark, blackish blood gushed out of her wound as she weakly cried, covering her wound with the edge of her saree. The woman could scream for help but instead, she sadly glanced towards the hollow black space of the forest, her eyes desperately searching for someone, not caring about her dying self.
Sahasthra wanted to scream in fear, she wanted to ask for help but her lips didn't part, her legs remained rooted to the ground like the roots of a tree. A wave of disgust flashed through her, how can she not do anything when a person is dying in front of her eyes? Blood was pooling around the woman as her eyes began to droop low in pain. Sahasthra quickly closed her eyes, taking large inhales of air gathering up her courage and when she was ready she parted her lips to scream for help.
She can do this. She can overcome this weakness of hers and let the voice out of her throat!
"H-e-l-p" Sahasthra managed the word, but the word did not have any sound. It was soundless, it was just her lips moving but Sahasthra did not give up. Can she ever for once in life do what she wished for life? All she prays is for the women to survive! Should the lord punish her to this extent by making her watch a woman lose her life in front of her? All her gloomy thoughts vanished hearing a faint cry from the women making Sahasthra fist her palms in determination.
She will do it. She will scream and shout till her voice comes out, till her last breath. But she won't give up.
So she tried again, but before she could give it a try, the woman laying on the ground covered in blood and dirt stared at her, her large familiar eyes speaking verses of pain and love.
Slowly and painfully, her doe brown eyes met Sahastra and her words came out broken and painful," Shh, d-don't make any s-sound till I find you. N-never."
With those last words, she collapsed completely, the faint light finally escaping her eyes and Sahasthra let out an ear-piercing scream, running away from the forest. With every turn in this never-ending jungle, her feet kept hitting the ground as she chanted the word, Never in fear.
Never, she whispered as her feet picked up an endless run.
However, her desperate endless run came to a halt. Her shaking self facing a person stopping her heart.
Her father stood in the distance, with a faint devilish smile on his face.
At that moment, her tired feet gave up crashing down to the dirty ground but through her peripheral vision, she could see his precious silk clothes stained with dark blood and the sword in his right hand had thick blood dripping down with a dead body by his feet.
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A cold chill ran down her spine and Sahasthra couldn't feel her feet anymore, her legs remain paralysied as she sobbed hysterically trying her best to pick herself, yet her body did not comply.
Step by step, her father closed the distance between them with a vengeful expression to reach her and she kept crawling backwards trying to escape, begging her father to stop but to no avail, she couldn't feel her lower body. But miraculously after a few steps, her father did not move. For a weird reason, his sight remains stuck on the blood dripping sword giving her hope.
Providing her with a chance to run from his never-ending torture.
Grabbing a handful of her skirt, Sahasthra stood up turning around for a run, but a loud painful groan in the background made her stop dead in her tracks as tears flowed down her cheeks. It was a voice she can never forget, the voice of a man who held her heart.
Can the person by her father's feet be Dipankar? Thick drops of lifeless tears ran down her cheeks as she turned around. Hesitant to accept that it can be her lover, her first love, and the only person who ever loved her silently despite her flaws and even in the afterlife she can never forget his voice, she turned around.
The moment her swollen eyes met with a familiar figure, her world crashed at the painful sight of an unconscious Dipankar by her father's feet.
So she did what she had to, her father only wanted her to remain caged so she will do it and set Dipankar free. With her head hanging low and a heavy heart, she walked towards her father with a fearful expression, silently begging him not to hurt Dipankar.
But before she could reach him out, her father lifted the sharp sword which was stained with blood and with one sudden strike, he drove it straight into Dipankar's heart, bringing out a heartbreaking scream from Sahastra.
"No, no!" Screaming and crying she collapsed down at his lifeless body as she wailed her heart out, pulling his cold body close to her now dead heart.
"D-dipankar.. please wake up."
"P-please. I love you-"
But all at once, everything seemed to fall and crash like the high tides of a sea. A sharp female voice sounding distant as if spoken under the water pulled her out of a deadly nightmare.
Sahasthra sat up at once, her eyes immediately searching for any traces of blood on her hands, and only the fresh tears on her face proved that it was just a nightmare. A bad dream and Dipankar would be safe inside the royal place, she thought, trying to console herself.
It was a nightmare? But it was so vivid, so real as if everything happened right in front of her eyes. The more she tried to recall the dream the more it turned hazy and unclear but the pain and fear of losing Dipankar were still alive in her.
"Here, my lady. Please have some water, it was just a nightmare." The house cook spoke in a low consoling voice handing over a water glass. She patted her head, carefully wiping the sweat off her forehead.
Whirls of cool night breeze whooshed inside the chamber, as the thin white drapes of the window frames fluttered around dancing to the sleek moonlight. Despite such a beautiful night, Sahasthra chocked on her cries sipping on the glass of water remembering the bizarre nightmare.
The fact that this nightmare can turn out true if she opposed her father scared her more than ever. She loves Dipankar, and he will be the only man in her heart till her last breath.
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While Sahasthra leaned back by the bedpost lost in thoughts, the cook tried to close the windows shut as she silently mumbled, "Stupid winds, all day it remains sunny and hot while now it's chilly and freezing!"
One by one she closed all the windows, as she kept muttering and grunting about the weather, "I wanted to sleep by the terrace tonight by watching the stars but due to these unfortunate cool winds I resumed to my chambers. That was when I heard your faint cries and screams! My god, I was so worried thinking a thief broke in but when i-"
At that point, Sahasthra's eyes went wide to an extent that her pupils could pop out with surprise and the cook placed a hand over her lips with a loud gasp.
"M-my lady, y- you screamed." The cook stated and Sahasthra moved away from her relaxed position stepping down the bed wondering about what she said.
"Y-your voice! Y-you can speak now? Sweet lord, this is news of celebration! This is-" Sahasthra placed a hand on her mouth stopping the cook from squealing in excitement as she slowly shook her head. Silently begging her to not let anyone else be aware of this discovery.
When the maid fell silent, Sahasthra leaned over the window pondering over this. Did she scream in her sleep? To test if what happened was true or not, she parted her lips taking in a large breath ready to say something but even after several tries she couldn't succeed. She couldn't even pronounce a single syllable.
Tears brimmed her eyes as she collapsed on the bed at her failure. How come she screamed in sleep but not now?
The cook placed her warm hand on Sahasthra's shoulder, her dark brown eyes shining with compassion. Her maroon cotton saree looked crumbled and overused but the slight glow on her face made her look pleasant.
"My lady, you have never made a sound in your life and we all have always believed that you can never speak but tonight, we found out that you can. But for a voice that is lost for over eighteen years is nothing but a broken instrument. However, if practised daily you can repair it, and if not now but in future that instrument will let out a beautiful sound." Her large warm hand caught her chin in endearment as she said those words with a confident smile warming Sahasthra's heart.
And just like that, she found a ray of hope. Maybe if she can ever speak, she will express her feelings to Dipankar one day. She will tell him how desperately she was in love with him all her life and if that can never happen, at least she will be able to chant his name through her lips, till her lips dry out, till her throat goes sour and numb, till her soul leaves this body.
* * *
Riya collapsed down on her bed letting out a frustrated scream. She is sharing this tiny room with another maid but what bothered her more was the way the family were treating her now. She was extremely determined to punch Jaidev left and right for lying to her, for trying to create a false impression that Raghuveer never cared for her, but after that evening he never showed up at this house and that must be the reason why Lady Savithri was allotting her more work. More hard labour making her hands go numb with pain.
This is torture! This house, this work, this separation, and this damn hair too! It must have been an hour or so since she sat down thinking she would braid her hair nicely with a small hair clip but now, she was pulling her hair out rolling on the bed screaming.
"What happened, Maithili? Is your hair refusing to listen to your hands?" Lata questioned with a small smile, her roommate.
"Ugh. Yes!" Riya cursed under her breath, taking the comb back in her hands to detangle her hair.
"God, I have never seen a woman who struggles this much to even do her hair!" Lata laughed walking to her earring a sharp glare from Riya.
"Oh come on now stop glaring and hand me over that comb or else we might find your mystery man pass out to bug bites," Lata said with a smirk and Riya almost fell to the floor in shock.
It has now become a beautiful routine, every alternate day her prince charming makes some time for her, by stepping out of the place. They have decided that night time was safe enough for them. For two weeks now, she has been doing this. Every night when everyone falls asleep she wakes up changing into a fresh pair of clothes by doing her hair into a good bun, but last night when Raghuveer gifted her a small hair clip she decided to put it to use. Even now her heart swells remembering his flushed face as he forced his tiny gift in her hands, the surprise on his face every night she bids him goodbye with a kiss on his cheek makes her wish to shower his face with a thousand kisses.
"H-how did y-you-"
"How did I know?" Lata scoffed, forcing Riya to turn so that she could braid her hair, "You are extremely clumsy for a person trying to sneak out in silence and moreover remember I am married? I know when a woman is in love!"
Oh right, Riya thought blushing. Lata is married for two years now and her husband works as a royal spy travelling all around the empire gathering secret information for the emperor and the cabinet. Due to his job, they couldn't settle down anywhere and Lata being a dutiful wife, she followed him around working in houses as a maid when he is off on long tours. He apparently promised to retire this year and join the army so that they could have a home and kids and Lata was holding onto that hope.
Without any trouble, Lata braided her long hair into a beautifully placing small sliver hairpin complementing Riya's mystery man for his choice of selection.
"But doesn't that look quite costly?" Lata voiced out that question for a second time and Riya now felt guilty for lying to her new friend.
Lata's eyebrows shot up as she gave her words a deep thought and just like that Riya knew she was in trouble. Lata almost gave out this helpless innocent woman's looks, but only when you get to know will you understand how sharp and intelligent she is.
"Umm, yes. Actually, he said that his cousin's best friend works for a merchant who trades jewellery, so he got a little discount?" Riya's heart drummed at the flat cooked up lie.
Riya looked straight in her eyes, as she bravely lied, as she mentally chanted only one sentence. Please buy it, Lata! Please!
But, who are we talking here about? Lata's eyes widened as some realisation hit her.
"What if this guy, you know," Lata waved her index finger indicating Raghuveer, coming to a conclusion, "Is a thief and is trying to trap you?"
Riya snorted, suppressing a laugh turning around peeping outside the window, to check if the way was clear.
"No Lata, it's not what you think. He just has a few connections-"
"Woah. A long chain of connections running up to jewellers? But Maithili, how does he even know-"
"Umm, Lata I am sorry but I have to leave? I promise to explain when I return! Bye!" Riya mumbled in a hurry dashing out of her quarters secretly sneaking into the backyard leading to the thick forest.
The faint and occasional hooting sound of owls could be heard as she stepped closer towards the forest. She would have laughed hard, rolling on the floor if anyone would have told that she would ever survive a day without her sunscreen or enter a forest without an insect repellent but look at her now, too eager to meet a certain person.
Oh god, the things you do for love. Sighing deeply she walked observing the marked trees leading up to her lover, and yes, Raghuveer came up with this idea to help her if in case she ever lost her way.
After a good few minutes, her eyes finally captured a familiar broad figure leaning by the tree. Her eyes swelled with affection as she glanced at him.
Slowly and steadily she walked as quietly as possible, and with one launch she jumped on him circling her hands from behind placing her face on his back, laughing at his reaction. He jumped in surprise and when he heard her beautiful laughter, he placed his hand on hers, swallowing down a laugh as he spoke, "It looks like I am attacked by a thief."
Riya giggled loudly, her eyes lit up at his good mood. Tightening her hands, she spoke in a low voice, "Oh yes, I am. I am here to steal your heart!"
"That you already have," Whispered Raghuveer, bringing her hand close to his lips, placing a smooth kiss smiling, making her blush scarlet.
Well, well who knew that twentieth-century cheesy pick-up lines might work on our grumpy prince? Making a mental note to think about all such lines she ever heard in her life Riya stepped forward facing him and slowly they were lost in a world of bliss as they spoke.
Lately, it has become too difficult to even keep sight of her surroundings, all the trees around fade away when he laughs melodiously, she loses herself on such nights when she holds his hand in hers.
"You braided your hair," Raghuveer stated, rubbing her head longingly with a glint in his eyes as he noticed the hairpin.
"Oh yes, but it was Lata who braided and she thinks that you must be a thief." Riya smiled teasing him and instantly his eyebrows knitted together, a deep frown took over his face.
His jaw clenched, probably feeling insulted.
"Pray may I know why? I-"
"You only visit me at night, as if we sneak out to do something suspicious and also you gave me a silver hairpin which was too pretty to be afforded by a commoner." Saying Riya pulled his cheek, stepping closer and his scowl deepened.
She knows the expression on his face. In fact, she can almost read it like a book, he is thinking of ways to do something for her or take her away from here so that they can spend their time together. But understanding his situation, Riya smiled sadly, leaning her forehead to his.
Their eyes meeting each other and their hearts beating as one.
"Hey, come on now. I know what you are thinking, but let this be. I am doing just fine."
Raghuveer chose to remain silent this time, letting out a helpless sigh, moving closer towards her. His hands hanging loosely around her waist as they stood in peaceful silence relishing this proximity.
When the hoots of the owls deepened, Raghuveer decided it was time for Riya to return. With slow and steady steps they almost made it to the house and she sulked sadly, however, this time Raghuveer tried to cheer her up by saying that they will meet again, as soon as possible.
"But still, I will miss you! I have no friend here, except Lata!" Riya blinked twice, and gradually a bright smile took over her face, almost scaring the prince.
"How about we visit Sahasthra? She must be lonely-"
"No, we are doing no such thing. It will be a huge risk for you to step out in broad daylight and-"
"Not at day time, you silly! At night! Around this maybe?"
"Give up on that thought, Riya. If she wanted to visit you, she might have written a letter, but considering this calmness from her she must be preferring to have a silent wedding-"
"No girl ever wants a silent wedding." Riya snorted, rolling her eyes.
It was true, weddings are supposed to be fun. Cousins, songs, dances and nosy relatives make such a perfect wedding! But seeing no one received an invite for the marriage, Riya can understand what was happening.
She was being forced, of course, her friend is an obedient daughter but she was not! If Dipankar is too stubborn to accept his feelings, then so be it. She will help Sahasthra run away or something to be her from such disastrous decisions.
"Please Riya, don't fight me on this. At times we won't be able to help, even if we want to and this is one such situation. We should not-"
"Alright then, be the man who gives up at the trouble and I will be the woman to fight everything to help my friend," Riya stated, fuming with anger. However bad his relation with his brother is, this is not right.
Not helping a person when you can, is cowardice, and she will never be one.
When Riya stood stubbornly, with her chin held up and refused to look in his eyes, he had to give in. Raghuveer sighed in defeat, he could never win against her.
"Alright, then. I will decide the day on which we will do this and till then wait for my word." Raghuveer stated, and before Riya could jump on him screaming a thank you, he stomped away marching in anger and she let out a small smile at his antics.
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