over and over and over in mind like a fucking broken record.

I hated this so much but I loved it so much. I hated it so much, I loved it so much.

The way her body felt in my hands made my body burn in a way I didn't think it could. My mind would flit back to the way she would gasp or hum when my fingers traced the softness of her skin. My face would burn when I remembered the way she pulled my face back to her, whispering one word.

Please...

I let out a groan and dropped my head in my hands. I fucked up whatever it was we had going. She was probably going to question every little thing that transpired the night before. Then, she'll probably never meet my eyes again.

I dropped my head back onto the couch and let out a sigh. As I stared at the ceiling, I felt myself get angry at all the shit that's going on between Eden and I.

I'm going to hurt her one day so badly. One day, I'll have such a bad mood swing, I'll accidentally tell her something that'll break her to her smallest pieces. She doesn't need me. She needs someone who can build her up, not do the opposite.

I stared at the bottle of pills on my nightstand and moved to pick the bottle up. I stared at the prescription in disgust. These white pills are the only thing keeping you stable, my brain laughed at me. I hated it so much, but like always, I needed them.

With that thought, I downed a pill and gulped down the half-empty bottle of water on the table. I collapsed onto the bed with a sigh.

My mind wandered back to Eden. The way she pulled her hair back into a ponytail when she was bored or nervous. The little half smile she gives you when she wants you to talk to her or touch her. The way she only wears those diamond earrings she has on Fridays. The way she presses her heels together in the elevator.

She probably didn't know she did half of those things, but I know. I know that she hates the idea that the world is dying. I know that she hates the word marbles. I know that she loves to listen to music. I know that she wants to know so much about me.

And I let her.

With her, I don't mind. I want her to know everything about me and everything I don't know about me. I've never ever wanted this and would never seek it out, but now with Eden...

That's all I fucking want.

Someone knocked on the door and I frowned. I slipped out of bed and moved to the door. I swung the door open and smiled at Julia who was standing on the other side of the door.

"Hey," She smiled and I smiled back.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, looking down the hallway and then back to her.

"Since you, Eden, and I are the only ones not doing anything. You wanna go out for lunch?" She asked, "We were thinking sushi,"

I smiled, but before I could tell her my answer, she squinted at me, "You do like sushi, right? Cause I asked Jude and Dawson before and they hate it."

I laughed, "Yeah, they hate anything seafood."

She shook her head, "And you?"

I smiled, "Let me grab my jacket and I'll be right with you."

She nodded, excitedly and I turned around grabbing the jacket hanging from my chair. I slipped it on and brushed my fingers through my hair. I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my phone and wallet, slipping them into my pocket.

I followed her out the door and towards their hotel room. Julia glanced back at me, "Eden's getting ready,"

As she said those words, a shadow of a smile stretched her lips and I found my body burning up as my mind visualized what she would look like today. The way she dressed left me breathless every time.

When we got to their door, Julia slid her key and pushed it open. Eden was on her bed slipping on her socks and shoes. When she heard the door open, she looked up and her face paled before it reddened. She stood up and pressed her feet together, holding her hands behind her back. I smiled at her, "Hey,"

She opened her mouth and closed it and opened it again, "Um-- H-- Hey,"

I cracked a smile and as she turned around and let my eyes skim up and down her body. I sucked in a breath. She was dressed in a skirt, similar to the one she wore yesterday. For a top, she was dressed in a cropped turtleneck that stopped right in the middle of her stomach. Her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and softly swayed whenever she moved her head. I blinked away the urges to do the worst to her.

She turned back around and smiled, not meeting my eyes, "I'm ready,"

Julia smiled and led us out the door, closing it after her. Eden was now standing next to me, shuffling from foot to foot. Julia smiled at the both of us and told us to follow her.

As we walked down the hallway to the elevator, my fingers brushed against hers and I watched her cheeks burn red.

In the elevator, she almost bumped into this man and I pulled her away from him, my hands on her bare waist. She sucked in a breath, but made no move to shrug my hand away from her. I didn't either.

In the taxi, her leg was pressed against mine and I could've moved... But I didn't want to. She's taking up every inch of my mind.

She was everywhere and she was nowhere. I felt her hands on my back, her hands on my face, but when I looked over to her, her hands were pressed between her thighs. I felt her on the tip of my tongue and I felt her against my lips, but every time I looked at her, she wasn't she wasn't she wasn't.

When we finally got to the restaurant, my eyebrows rose in surprise. The place was beautiful and extravagant. Julia smiled proudly at her choice and Eden's lips parted in surprise.

She looked so beautiful, it hurt.

The restaurant darkened the deeper you walked in, but was illuminated by dozens of warm chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Waiters dressed sharply in crisp shirts and black slacks darted around, pouring new drinks and smiling at customers.

Eden gasped, pointing to the wall to the left, "Oh my, God! Fish!"

My eyes fell to the wall she was talking about and my eyebrow rose in surprise. The wall furthest from us and to the left was covered completely in glass, holding back a colorful aquarium. About a hundred different types of fish were swimming around in shoals.

When we were finally seated, I took a deep breath. Then Eden took a seat next to me and suddenly I wasn't able to breathe again. She smiled nervously at me and I offered her a smile back.

Everything! was! so! fucking! awkward!

The waiter, Adrrie,n who would be taking our orders, smiled at Eden and Julia. He asked us what we would be drinking tonight and I said water, Julia asked for a sweet tea, and Eden asked for a Sherly Temple with no ice.

He nodded and walked away. Julia was beaming with excitement. I smiled at her, "Excited much?"

She blushed in embarrassment, "I love sushi, okay?"

I cracked a smile and glanced at Eden who was smiling at the both of us. She had her left leg tucked underneath her right one and had her hands pressed to her sides, flat against the seat.

I glanced up at her and felt my brain muddle as I took in every little part of her. The waves in her hair, the slight futter of her lashes, the stretch of her pink lips, and the glimmer in her eyes.

I placed my hand down and softly touched her hand. She froze a little, but I felt her hand relax under mine and I took that as my chance to wrap my fingers around hers. She glanced at me, her cheeks red, obviously flustered, and smiled softly. She turned away, focusing back on Julia and laughing softly.

I threaded my fingers with hers and sucked in a breath as I watched her take her bottom lip between her teeth.

Fuck, she was beautiful.

Julia stood up and sighed, "I need to use the bathroom, I'll be right back,"

Eden nodded, looking down at the table before looking back at me. Her cheeks burned red as she met my eyes and turned away from me. I smiled, moving closer.

I lifted my hand and brushed back her hair from her shoulder. As my hand softly traced the skin on her neck, she sucked in a breath. "So, we're just going to ignore each other now?"

She peeked a glance at me, a shadow of a smile painting her lips. "I wouldn't really call this ignoring each other. Would you?"

I smiled and let my eyes roam over every inch of her face. I was committed to memorizing the face that would be the ruin of me.

I shook my head softly and watched her smile once more. When the waiter came and asked us what we'd like to order, I could've climbed over the table and punched him square in the face. I wanted her eyes on me, not on his.

She sighed, her hand in mine flexing softly, "Tell me something you hate,"

I frowned in confusion, "Hate?"

She nodded, "Like I hate when I get too attached to people. I hate when things change. I hate the thought of the earth dying. I hate getting hurt. And lastly, I hate the idea that your soulmate is out there waiting for you."

I frowned, "I get all the other things, but why the last one?"

She cracked a smile, but was lost in thought, "There's someone out there and maybe he's in a relationship or maybe he's single, but right now, he's probably thinking about his soulmate which may or may not be me and I can't help but think... How can I be someone's soulmate? Me, of all people."

As she said those words, I didn't care whether her soulmate was out there right now thinking about her or not, but all I knew was that I was thinking about her. She was all I was thinking about all the time and I hated it so much.

But I loved it a lot too.

I breathed in a sigh, "Well, your soulmate is a pretty lucky person to get someone like you,"

She turned her head to me and smiled, softly. "Well, what about you? What do you hate, Foreman?"

You, I wanted to say. For so many reasons, the list was endless. When I couldn't sleep at night, I'd read a book. Now, with you running through my head all the time, you were what I thought about. The few winks of sleep I got, I dreamt of you. In the shower, I thought about you. When I was writing, everything was written for you. When I was drawing, every stroke of my pencil looked like the small curve of your lips. When I was reading, every detail in the book sounded like they were talking about you.

I hated you, Eden.

You would be the death of me, you would be my ruin.

I offered her a smile, "I hate the feeling of being incomplete. I don't know if that makes any sense, but there's this feeling in the pit of your stomach and you just know that there's something missing. You feel like a part of you isn't there and I just... hate it a lot."

I looked up at Eden and her eyes roamed my face, taking in every word I had spoken to her. Her eyes paused at my lips and I wanted nothing except to have her lips against mine. "Have you ever... felt complete?"

I cracked a smile, "Sure, I have."

With you, I wanted to finish.

I know it's stupid and sappy, but it's true. All my life I always had this nagging thought in my head that maybe I wasn't doing something right. Maybe I missed a crucial step in my life and that's why the screws in my head are rusted. But no, that wasn't true at all. I was born broken and I had to find a way to deal with it, to love myself unconditionally.

Sitting for hours in the middle of the night with Eden showed me that maybe I just hadn't gotten to the part of my story where I felt complete. Moments I spent holding her hand in mine and running my fingers down her neck showed me that you just have to be patient.

And fuck, am I glad I did?

I didn't have her, but I had her.

I was complete with her.

She smiled and used the hand that wasn't in mine to brush her fingers through my hair. When her hand settled at the base of my jaw, she took in a small breath.

"With who?" She asked, a small smile plastered on her lips. I found my fingers tracing the curve of her bottom lip and smiling.

"Oh, you wouldn't know her," I said, a shadow of a smirk stretching across my face. She laughed softly and I took in a small breath.

"I like you," She said, a soft smile on her face. My eyebrows rose a fraction at her statement, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. Inside my stomach, a storm was brewing and my vision was swimming, completely lost in her.

Her eyes widened a fraction when she realized what she had just confessed. She pulled back an inch, but I held her to me, "I didn't— uh..."

"Hey," I said, causing her eyes to meet mine again. I smiled as I stared into her eyes that reminded me of so many things, but most of all reminded me of her.

She waited for me to say something as I watched her chest rise up and down and her face burn a deep shade of pink.

"Say it one more time," I said to which she smiled, taking in a small breath.

"I like you," She whispered once more and I swear on everything I could think of at the moment, I couldn't help the smile that broke out on my face at that moment.

She let out a little laugh and I let my hand fall from her neck as I spotted Julia making her way back to our table. Eden looked away from me, a soft smile on her lips.

I looked away from her and focused on our entwined hands under the table. This wasn't such a bad way to die, I remember thinking.

Eden said something to Julia to which she laughed, but I was barely listening anymore.

All I was feeling, thinking about and seeing was Eden. With thoughts of her, came thoughts of the future. My eyebrows furrowed as the intrusive thoughts started to wear me down.

You'll never be good enough for her.

My grip on her hand tightened and I felt her thumb move back and forth over my fingers. She was perfect, she was light, and she was everything I didn't know I needed.

She deserves someone who can always be there for her.

I took in a deep breath, keeping the urge to run out of this restaurant at bay. She likes me, I tried to reason with the thoughts in my head.

She only likes the parts of you you let her see. Imagine how scared she'd be if she saw all of you.

My breathing was becoming more shallow and it was getting harder to breathe. I felt like I was drowning in myself; nobody would notice, nobody would care.

The waiter came to the table with another waiter and placed our orders down on the table. Taking a deep breath because the need for air was becoming too much. I could barely breathe.

I pulled Eden's face towards me, my fingers under her chin and her face less than an inch from mine. Her cheeks tinted pink and my heart exploded in my chest.

"Why?" I asked, my grip on her hand unforgivingly tight. She didn't seem to mind as she placed her other hand over mine too.

"Because Foreman," She smiled, "You are everything in the world I didn't know I wanted or needed. You make me want to feel every feeling there is in the world and I know you're the perfect person to do that with."

My heart that I thought exploded started to beat again. My breathing started to ease and I felt my nerves begin to calm. Fuck, what was she doing to me?

"Me?" I asked, stupidly.

The smile on her face widened as she nodded, "Yeah, you."

A small smile stretched across my face and I let her press her lips to my cheek. Even if the kiss lasted less than a second, I felt my chest tighten again, but not in a bad way. I felt my heart explode, but because of how fast it was beating. Even the intrusive thoughts in my head were quiet for a change.

With one last smile, she turned around and faced Julia and the waiter. She said a few things and they both laughed. I smiled at her and watched her be herself, the same girl I was falling so deeply for.

With a look at my hands, I pulled my hand from hers and twisted off the ring that she was so entranced with on that night on the roof.

I glanced at the engraving on the inside: My gaurd's down.

I moved to place the ring on her finger, but stopped when Julia motioned for me to eat. I was startled out of my plan and instinctively slipped the ring back on my finger.

I gave Julia a tight smile and nodded.

I'll give it to her another time, I thought as she glanced at me once more, a bright smile on her face.

You were the one for me, Eden, whether you knew it or not.

UM HEY sorry i was gone so long: mom and dad problems, boy and girl problems, school problems etc HAHA and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

SO I GAVE YOU A LOT HERE. SOME INSIGHT INTO ATLAS'S MIND, EDEN AND ATLAS'S LITTLE CRUSHS ON EACH OTHER, AND HER LITTLE CONFESSION AT THE END.

ALSO YOU WILL SEE THE RING AGAIN DW.

how'd you like this chapter anyway? I hope you enjoyed it! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 31K! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH