After I've insisted on cleaning up the broken glass, I'm sitting by the fireplace in the back room with Nina.

She sits in the rocking chair while I choose to situate myself on the floor a couple of feet away from her.

"Are you sure you don't want to bring a chair in here?"

I glance up from watching the flames dance and yawn, feeling tired all of a sudden. "Yeah, no, it's fine. I sit on the floor all the time at Vaughn's."

She frowns, "He makes you sit on the floor?"

"What? No, I like sitting on the hardwood floors by the fireplace in the evening, all wrapped in a blanket. A lot of the times, he does too. I mean, he isn't wrapped up in a blanket, I'd love it if he were, but no, he only sits by me, and we play chess."

She raises a somewhat amused eyebrow at me, and I feel the strange, awkward need to elaborate more.

"I taught him how to play, and pretty soon, he got as good as me. Which means I probably wasn't that good, but-"

She laughs lightly, smiling a bit.

And then I realize I've been smiling, too. Oops.

"Why're you laughing?" I ask her, feeling somewhat defensive as a blush rises to my cheeks.

She shakes her head, a strange look in her eyes; it almost seems...knowing.

"You know..." she starts out, "I married Henry three months after I met him."

My first thought is, 'Why would you ever do that?' but then I realize asking that is probably rude, so I keep my mouth shut, waiting for her to continue with where she's going with this.

I keep my face blank, so she proceeds on.

"We met in Anchorage, at a restaurant, and we hit it off instantly. Although he was pretty quiet at first, and he wasn't that keen on opening up, he eventually did."

"How'd you get him to do it? Open up?"

She smiles, "I...didn't pressure him to. I just opened up, myself, and soon enough, he trusted me enough to do the same."

"So...patience?"

Nina nods, "Love requires a lot of patience."

I hear her slight laughter as my eyes widen, "Nooooo, no. What? I'm not- I don't- no love. There's no love at all between me and Vaughn, Nina."

I faintly realize that I did make it sound like I totally love him, but that's just me being me.

The truth is...I don't love him. Right?

I've only known him for a few months, and that time has included him treating me like a dead deer and not opening up all that much. I can't love him.

But then again...the time has also included him carrying me bridal style, hugging him as we both silently cried over Moose, and him smiling at stupid random things I say. Which then, in turn, causes butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

But, no. I can't love Vaughn. He's eight years older than me, and while I find that somewhat hot, others will certainly not.

Besides, I'm probably going to prison in a few months, and he'll either stay here for the rest of his life or go back home to his family.

I hope it's the latter, for the sake of his emotional and mental health, honestly.

Shaking my head, I look back up at Nina, who's been observing my reaction the past moment.

"No," I tell her. "I can't love Vaughn, Nina. It just would never work out in any aspect of it."

She merely shakes her head, moving to get up when she hears the tavern door open again.

Before she disappears out into the bar area, though, she tells me: "No, Mikaere. It would work out. You're just too afraid that you would lose it, which is why you're not trying to get it."

I roll my eyes, choosing not to dwell on her words.

Because...no. Of course, I like Vaughn, he's gorgeous and gentle, and reliable, and thoughtful and attentive...and I'm...me.

What do I have to offer except terrible advice, textbook knowledge, and an annoying personality?

But...Nina is right, I guess. Even if it were to happen, I'd be terrified of losing it when I get arrested and sent away. After all, running away did make me seem guilty.

So that wasn't very smart of me.

But if I hadn't run away...I probably never would have made it here.

And I love it here.

Sighing, I rise, deciding to help around the tavern for the day to keep my mind off my feelings, which I do not want to consider now. Or ever, for that matter. Maybe if I continue ignoring everything, it will go away.

That would be nice. Unlikely, yes, but it would be pleasant.

By the time I've stopped working, I'm exhausted. So, after saying goodnight to Nina, I retire to get ready for bed.

After I've taken a proper shower, I walk back out into the bedroom and start rifling through my bag for some clean clothes. I'm planning on doing laundry tomorrow, as well as going to the store, but if I'm not feeling well enough, I might have to do it the day after tomorrow. Being a girl can get so inconvenient...I'm not too fond of it.

My fingertips grace the different materials in my duffle bag; denim, lace, plastic bags, typical books, the list goes on.

But then I stop when I come across something that I definitely didn't put in here. Wrapping my hands around it, I lift it out to see a well-kept leather cover in my hands.

Vaughn's journal.

Where he writes letters to his sister, Siara.

How did this get in here?

Surely he didn't place it in...but then again, what other logical explanation is there? I've never even touched the thing before.

I recall earlier today when he strangely volunteered to bring my bag up here; he must have placed it in here then.

But why, though?

Does that mean he wants me to read it?

Maybe that's the obvious answer, and my curiosity certainly hopes so, but still, I'm uncertain. The letters are to Vaughn's sister; it's personal, and as much as I'd like to get inside his mind, I really don't want it to be like this.

I want him to talk to me like I opened up to him, not read his written words to his sister.

But then again...it's better than nothing.

Am I really that desperate, though? I shouldn't be.

I stare at the journal in my hands for a while, trying to come to a decision.

Assuming he wants me to read it...why? Did he write something to me in there?

I skim through the book, ignoring the written words addressed to Siara, looking for my name or something to indicate that it's to me.

But I don't find anything.

So why would he put his journal in my bag?

He wants me to read his letters to his sister?

No, I don't want to. I won't do that.

Unless Vaughn tells me outright that he wants me to read them, I'm not. It seems way too personal, and I feel like I'm invading his privacy if I do.

So, placing the journal at the very bottom of my bag, I pull out my pajamas, ready to rest in a beautiful, soft bed once again.

So, it turns out the whole 'wolves caused both disappearances' thing is still a priori in the village, which is frustrating because it leads me nowhere new.

For the past six days, I've worked a bit at the tavern every day, talked with both some familiar and new faces, used the last of my savings for personal supplies, and read the last of my downloaded books.

I need wifi or something because I'm getting kind of bored. I miss Vaughn's company and the cabin, the regular routine there, and evenings spent by the fire reading.

Thankfully, my unfortunate little monthly issue ended yesterday, which technically means I could leave for the cabin anytime.

However, even if I do have Vaughn's bow, I'd still prefer it if he were with me for the walk. I know it's selfish of me to make him do so, but I really do enjoy his company, and he makes me feel safe.

Somehow, I found a sort of...companionship with him, regardless of the silence that still falls between us sometimes.

I've kept his journal at the bottom of my bag, regardless of how tempted I've been at times to open it up and read to my heart's content.

But every time I think about doing that, I instantly feel bad about it. I need Vaughn's confirmation for that. Otherwise, I'll feel as if I'm betraying his trust somehow.

I won't have to wait long to talk to him about it, though. He'll come back to the village tomorrow, and on the way back to his cabin, I'll ask him.

Waving goodbye to the woman who just gave me a gracious tip, I work on clearing the table she recently left.

So far this week, I've had to endure the occasional company of Matthias and Thor, but they haven't been terrible.

Thor does try to avoid me, but yet he can't seem to avoid the tavern, so whenever he comes to drink, he always has this annoyed look on his face. It's fun.

I haven't seen or heard anything regarding Benjamin since the encounter here with Vaughn, which is surprising, considering he was in the trio of regulars, before.

When I asked David and Jacob about him, they merely shrugged and said he's been tied up at work.

I let it go because frankly, I don't care.

Henry's continued to be distant, but he does say a word to me now and then. He's seemed nervous, lately, and upset, but I label it off because Nina's been acting distracted as of late, also.

Luna's still Luna; however, she's not as rude to me, as before. She actually smiles when I walk into her store now, and I assume it's because I've stopped pestering her to open up.

And maybe it's because I buy a lot of things, but who knows?

Hayley and William haven't visited since the last time I saw them, which is disappointing, but not really surprising. This village is cold, dull, and the only reason I come here every month is that I'm weak and enjoy the comfort of a warm bed and a fully functional bathroom.

Maybe I'll get to see them next month, though.

Next month is March, and I really just cannot believe how fast the year is already going by.

"Mikaere!"

I glance up quickly to see Henry coming over to me, seeming hurried.

"Hm?"

"Why are you hiding away in the kitchen? Aren't you a waitress here?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Then go and waitress. You aren't getting paid to hide away back here. That's what I do."

Too tired to argue, I follow his instructions and head back out into the bar and restaurant area, seeing two women sitting at a table.

"Hi, my name is-"

"Mikaere Eriksen, John Agner's niece. We know," one of them, the blonde one answers. She looks to be in her thirties.

I frown, "Wait, how do you know?"

The redhead speaks up, "Everyone knows by now. I mean, you've been here for three months, right? Plenty of time for a small village to find out your name."

Does everyone know? I certainly hope not.

"Oh, well, anyway, I'll be your waitress tonight. What can I start you off with?"

Does everyone include Roan and his father? I really hope not.

"Blue Moon."

"Shock Top."

Nodding, I begin walking off to the bar to tell Nina.

I was told Roan would be returning this month...is he here already, or will he be back at the very end of February?

I can't help but hope he isn't back yet, because then there's the risk of him finding out my real name.

And I'm not ready to leave yet.

A.N.// Sorry for not updating yesterday omg