For three weeks I attempted to find out why June had reacted the way she had to my news. I spent many of nights trying to think of reasonable explanations, but I struggled. There was no solid excuse as to why she wasn't excited for me.

Most of my phone calls went unanswered, unreturned, and on the rare occasion she did answer, she would tell me that she had just been overwhelmed with work, our conversations ending within a few minutes due to her job.

She was avoiding me, even I knew that. It made me sad, some days discouraging me from even getting out of bed. I couldn't fall back into the hole that I had disappeared into after Dawson had died, so I forced myself to continue on, attending school, returning to work, spending time with Camille and preparing for my newest addition.

"I can't believe you aren't going to find out.." Camille shook her head as we walked side by side in the middle of the shopping centre

"I want it to be a surprise" I shrugged "Adds to the suspense"

"Oh right, because you haven't had enough suspense in the last few months" she rolled her eyes

I shot her a glare "That's different, this is good, all that stuff.. that wasn't"

"I know, I'm sorry" she linked her arm with mine "what about school, how is school going?"

"I've had a lot to catch up on, but I'm getting there, Jessie has been amazing, she doesn't let anything slide, she pushes me, she doesn't let me use excuses so I appreciate that"

"She's always been good, I love that you have her" Camille agreed "And what about work? You know that you're going to have to tell Al soon about.." she poked my side gently "You can't be lifting things.."

"I know" I breathed as we entered our usual cafe "I just feel the more people I tell the more real it becomes"

"You make it sound like you don't want it to be real" we sat down at a table against the floor to ceiling windows out looking the busy streets below the second level story

"I know it's real, and I'm happy it's real, but it's just.. it's bitter sweet you know" I sighed

Camille placed a hand on mine on the table "It's going to be great, and I'll be here for you through the whole thing, promise" she smiled

"I know" I smiled in return "Thank you"

Camille had been a great support for me, and I knew that what I had been through, and what I was about to go through wouldn't be without her. I was extremely thankful for her.

"So" she changed her tone, pulling her hand back "are we getting the usual? What are you craving this week?" She held her menu up, studying it with narrow eyes

I picked my own menu up and read over the options, allowing my stomach to decide for me what I felt would be satisfying enough

"I'm thinking.. hamburger with the lot" Camille pointed to "I haven't had one in a while, and I've been eating healthy, so why not?" She shrugged "Also, milkshake, large strawberry milkshake"

I smiled toward her, the sound of a strawberry milkshake enticing, my stomach growling in agreement

"I haven't seen Ryan in a while, heard from him lately?" Her eyes were now searching the cafe in search of the manager Ryan Weller

I tried to avoid the subject, but even with my nose buried into the menu I could feel her eyes burning a hole through the cardboard onto me

I sighed "I can't Camille"

"Why not?" She closed her menu, folding her arms on the table, ready for the topic

"Where do I start?" I copied her, folding the menu up, my arms crossed on the table

"He's older, he's got a good job, he's respectful, and he genuinely shows an interest in getting to know you" Camille began

"It's only been a few months Camille, it's too soon, not to mention that I'm having to adjust the belt around my growing stomach, did you want to tell him about that?" I argued back

She let out a small sigh "Maybe you could just get to know him as a friend, it doesn't haven't to be anything else, remember that, there's nothing wrong with making more friends"

I nodded, taking what she'd said into account. She was right. I'd met Ryan Weller the second time we'd eaten in the cafe, he had served our food and drinks and dealt with an aggressive patron with calmness and compassion, which was what had initially made me look twice at him. He was a nice man, and after our forth visit, he began to make more of an effort in conversing with Camille and I, more so with I. At first I was uninterested, flattered, yet uninterested, but the more I got to know him, the more I realised that there were other good guys out there, including him.

As we sat eating our meals, we made casual conversation and organised the next day for our lunch date. My stomach was satisfied with the milkshake and burger in mirror of Camilles meal, and as I polished off the last of my side salad, I realised just how full I was.

"I'm glad we went with that" Camille struggled to finish her burger "I'm so full, but I just want more"

I smiled as she did her best to finish the small portion remaining, my fingers picking at the leftover cucumber from her salad to help her along the way.

"It was pretty good" I agreed as I crunched, my phone beginning to vibrate inside my jeans pocket, silently ringing

It wasn't often people called me, most of the time the voice on the other end Camille or Isaia. When I pulled it out, I suddenly hoped it was June, and as I read the screen over, I became excited, it was her.

"June" I answered as Camille subtly watched me

"Hey Jasmine, I hope you aren't busy" she replied, her voice somewhat different, normal

"No, not at all, I'm glad you've called.." I told her

"So I was wondering, are you doing anything in the next hour or two?"

"No, I have no plans, what are you thinking?" I instantly responded, excited at the prospect we could return to normal

"How would you feel about popping by the station, I need to see you"

"Of course, that'd be fine, I'll see you there" I told her before she had hung up on me

"That sounded good" Camille sat, watching me with a small smile

"It was June, she wants me to go by the station to see her" I smiled back, excited "She sounded different"

"That's good right?"

I nodded "I think so"

By 2pm Camille and I had gone our separate ways. By 3pm I began the drive to the all too familiar police station. I felt uneasy, something about it felt strange, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I continuously brushed the feeling off, excited at the reunion of June and I. I had missed her, I had wanted to tell her all about work and school and the first time I'd felt the baby move inside me. She had once been my friend, one of my closest confidants, and then she was gone. I couldn't deal with losing people well, not anymore. I needed June.

The last time I'd entered the station had been well over 8 weeks ago. I had visited June and Isaia, taken them coffee and spent an hour showing Isaia how to work his new laptop. It had been a nice visit and the idea of visiting again under the same circumstances put my mind at ease.

"Jasmine, it's been a while, it's good to see you" Desk officer Sue greeted me, her beautiful smile welcoming as she buzzed me through the main doors entering the building

It was common for the homicide unit to be quiet, whether the crime rate was low, or they just knew how to work without bustling and shouting. The air inside was warm, a comforting change from the cool weather of approaching winter outside. I peeled my jacket off, one of the many layers, knowing my overly warm skin would heat up much quicker than the others.

"Jasmine" June found me as I neared her desk, a professional smile on her face, her dark pants suit formal and fashionable at the same time "How are you doing?"

"Good, I'm good" I replied "and you?"

"I'm good, we should talk, come with me" She abruptly said, leading me to the end of the hall towards an empty conference room

A rush of uncertainty overwhelmed me once again, her demeanour changing, giving me whiplash. I followed in tow and entered the generous sized room when she stood with the door opened for me.

For a moment she hesitated, and then closed the door, instructing me to sit.

I stood firm and folded my arms, suddenly angry

"I'll stand, thanks"

She gave a small sigh and began biting her lip nervously, seemingly thinking about what to say next

"June, tell me what is going on with you, why are you acting like this?" I demanded, my voice darker than it usually was

Rolling her shoulders, she took a step towards me, finally making eye contact

"I want to apologise for the way I've been the last few weeks Jasmine" she began "the last few weeks for me have been.. busy.. mentally overwhelming and there are many things that I've done that I wish I hadn't had to do, so when you told me.. your news, it changed some things for me, it.. it made things more complicated" she tried to explain

It wasn't making sense to me, I was more confused than I had been before

"Okay.. so why couldn't you talk to me about it? Maybe I would understand the behaviour a little better had I known what was going on at work"

She shook her head "I asked you to come here for a reason Jas, but, I'm not the reason.."

My stomach rolled, my heart thrumming inside my throat "What are you talking about?"

Was my life under threat again? Was there a new force out to seek revenge on me for what happened with Wyatt? A million thoughts were running through my mind, it was starting to frighten me.

"You should sit.." she tried again "really, and I'll get you some water.." she turned, her hand on the door handle to leave again "I hope you forgive me" she mumbled as she slightly turned, her words stabbing through me, knowing something was madly wrong

As she left the room, I began to pace. Something bad was happening and again, I felt that I was in the middle of it. Why would I need to forgive her? What had she done?

I tried to control my thoughts, my emotions, but it was near impossible. I started to feel nauseous, so I stood by the window, looking out to the sky, grey and cloudy, rain slightly spitting down to match the coldness of the air. Focusing on the view, I realigned my mind, knowing that it wasn't just for my own sake that I needed to regulate my breathing.

It had felt like hours, but I knew that it had only been a matter of minutes when voices could be heard outside of the door. My heart jumped, but I hugged myself tightly and leaned on the windows edge when the door opened.

June reappeared, only slightly as she held the door open, her soft eyes met mine for a moment before the door opened further, another body entering the room.

Instantly my stomach fell, my breathing paused and the nausea rose into my throat. The world stopped spinning and time stood still. I was dreaming, I had to be dreaming, a horrible nightmare created to torture me both mentally and physically.

Walking slowly into the room, Dawson James met my gaze, his face just as I had remembered it, only slightly different. His hair had grown longer, stubble visible. He wore a plain dark long sleeve shirt and jeans, no gun or badge like I'd always known him to carry. He wasn't the same, but it was him, his eyes undeniably beautiful as I knew them.

I'd been so frozen that I hadn't realised the tears rolling down my face. I began to shake my head, taking a step back "no"

This was a trick, it had to be a cruel trick. I had held Dawson as he had died, there was no way this was him.