love can be a complicated thing.

for years society has been trying to control it or even navigate it, but the result they found was that love came naturally, and you can't force it upon others. when you love someone, and i mean, truly love someone. something magical happens, something that you can't even begin to explain.

pure exhilaration, your eyes start to sparkle, the stars start to align, and everything in the erokd start to make sense.

it's purer than any drug that this world has ever produced.

because love was the original drug, which was untarnished and natural.

but still, love can be very lethal. tearing you up from the inside out and breaking all the happiness you've known in the world. into millions of broken shards. the world you saw with love in your heart was gone, and you try to fill it with any remaining emotion you have left, but no matter what you try, it can never be fixed.

only love can fix another love's, broken heart.

you tapped the chilled glass of your tap soda, looking at the fizzling bubble, popping, crackling, and filling back up just to pop and crack again. the cold liquid felt like fireworks down your throat. feeling the bubbles fizzle in between each of your pipes and hit your stomach flatly. it calmed your nerves somehow, making you focus on the bubbles instead of everything going on around you.

since childhood until now, carbonation was an escape.

the brunette eyes were like an aimbot, fixed on your body as you sat on the stool far from him. seeing your body shiver and twitch ever once in a while. bucky overall feeling horrible deep down. he knew you were ignoring him, and he knows the reason why. for a second, he really thought you were going to run up to him and give him a kiss that sweetens his lips like a cherry. but he was mistaken.

personally, he felt disgusting, knowing what you may have been through and him not being able to do something about it. it made a big black pit in his stomach, nausea slowly swirling in his gut, and angry slowly filled his brain. and just like that, the love that was once there inside of bucky was now filled with anger. he loved you so much that even when it's gone, that anger took over, and he wanted to do something to protect you.

bucky hopped up from his seat, bulldozing his way thru the crowd, scoring his way to you. multiple cries from steve were tuned out in the brunette ears, only wanting to get to you right at the moment.

"y/n..."

you winced at the voice calling your name so softly, almost making you break down. you turned your head slowly, seeing those soft blues piercing right into your soul. you took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. you opened your mouth to speak but were cut off shortly.

"y/n before you tell me to go away, can we talk, please?"

you sighed, looking down at your half-drunken drink, "bucky, i really don't know what to say to you. everything used to come to naturally, but you know that's not the deal anymore."

bucky subtly rolled his eyes, "y/n, i'm not talking about that, i want to talk to you about chase and...well just come here."

"wha- woah!"

bucky grabbed you from the arm. the boy's grip was sturdy, holding you against his chest like he was trying to conceal you. your eyes widened, breath quicking, feeling how hot his body was against yours. you gulped, trying to control your thoughts in such a time like this. your felt your chest being smushed and was about to speak, but he pushed your head against his chest, covering your face up and making it hard to breathe. and he rushed you out of the bar, leaving a couple dollars to the bartender for your drink.

your fight and flight starting kicking in, and your mind thought this was enough chase situation, bucky trying to suffocate you and started struggling to let you go of his grasp. but your heart told you to mind to shut the fuck up because you couldn't trust chase, but deep down, you could trust bucky.

you took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves down, and you relaxed your body against his weight. bucky didn't ignore your struggling and was trying to calm you down himself, whispering soft words in your ears and cradling your head. it seemed to work since you stopped struggling as you both got outside, and bucky found a spot where you guys could talk.

your fight instinct kicked in once more, "what the fuck was that, barnes!"

you pushed your body off his chest, and you started dusting your shirt. rubbing your neck as it starting aching and itching. the bruises were still there, less purple and dark than last time but still prominent. you didn't properly ice it, and that had its results. at the same time trying to cover it up from bucky. and you were lucky that it was dark outside, not wanting to explain anything to him.

"i just needed to get you out of that bar, away from him."

you shook your head in disbelief, "away from who?

"chase? i saw you walk in with him," bucky paused, trying to form his next sentences carefully, "i wanted to ask you something concerning him and you, and i thought you will feel more comfortable outside here away from him.

your rubbed your temples, gaining a massive headache from this, trying to understand, you asked, "wha- what do you even mean by tha-"

"does chase hit you?" bucky blurred out, looking right into your e/c eyes, his blues eyes the only thing shining in the dark light. and then the pit sunken, you stumbled on your feet, taken aback from his question. your eyes darted away from his eyes, and your lowly chuckled.

"n- no- no h- he...chase doesn't hit me."

"y/n.."

"bucky, why the fuck do you think that he would hit me!" you were straight lying out of your teeth, and you didn't even know why. there was no real reason to. chase was inside the place, in the bathroom, probably wacking himself off to a picture of a random girl pictured in his mind and not even in the close range of you. and even if he did hear you and try to touch you again, bucky was there.

but, for some reason, you always want to protect him, always, no matter what.

"y/n he can't hurt you anymore, please! you're constantly rubbing your neck, and- and you get tense when i say his name!" bucky got closer to you. but you kept backing up, then he grabbed your arms again, softly. "i swear, y/n i would never let him hurt you ever again, just please," he brought his forehead to your forehead, your faces inches apart, "tell me the truth."

you were shaking, trembling, your head was down, not wanting to look in bucky eyes at the fear you would break down. you kept shaking your head against his.

"yeah...yeah, he does bucky, he- chase hits me. he slaps me, kicks me, spits on me, everything to belittle me and to make him feel superior. and i- i let him! because i knew he still loved me. and would never leave me, no matter how bad my addiction got. and knowing myself, i felt like no one would ever love me again if i left him until you said it..."

you looked at his eyes, seeing him staring back at you, eyes glistening. your hot tears fell on your cheek, and bucky softly cupped it, his finger rubbing it ever so softly.

"i was scared, bucky i admit that. i admit that you caught me off guard, and i didn't know what to do and when i freaked and left. then when i came back to brooklyn, chase was here, and he snapped," you bit down on your lip, shaking your head once again.

"he- he tried to kill me——he choked me. and i was on the brink of death, but he didn't...he didn't kill me...i didn't know what to do buck. he did that, so i would stay with him, and i realized that. i realized that he and i were never perfect, and i went over to my place and broke up with him. but even after i tried to get away from him, after i made it so clear that we're done. he always found a way to beat me down..."

bucky eyes filled with water, and they tickled down as he cried for you. he felt helpless, feeling like he could've done something to prevent you from leaving virginia and heading back to brooklyn to be mauled by this man. he should've told you the truth before you even hopped on his motorcycle, and now he wonders, he did, then you would still be in his arms in virgina, safe and happy with him.

then angry followed that sadness, it felt like all the tears just were sucked up, and it was filled with steam following out of his ears. he was furious, and that was not even the right word to describe the frustration he had at that moment. but he wasn't mad at either you or him. it was all directed to chase.

he didn't know it yet. but there was a new type of anger that formed in him that day. after hearing all the struggle that man put you through, bucky knew what he needed to do. bucky kissed your forehead and whispered in your ear, "i'm sorry, but i have to do this."

you furrowed your eyebrows, "wha-"

bucky let himself out of your grasp, leaving you feeling cold and lost. you're looked down on the ground, feeling confused, wondering why bucky said sorry. the was nothing to be sorry for at that time, and in the context, it made no sense.

you looked at the swinging bar doors, seeing a glimpse of chase walking out the bathroom and bucky's faint voice yelling to the crowd. you saw chase look at him then bucky looking back at him. then it clicked, your eyes widened, and you ran back inside the bar before bucky does something he will regret.

© HQYLOFT