WARNINGS - heavy language, heavy abuse (choking), vomiting.

your eyes fluttered open slowly, the jaunting light of the sun peep through the cardboard windows, hitting the exact spot of your eyelids. you closed them again, only to open them once more, annoyed at the heat targeted on your face. as you opened them, you felt slow. every blink or breath you made felt slow. like constantly stuck in a wormhole of slowness. you raised your hand, covering the sun from your face, practically blinding you.

"where the fuck am i," was the first thing that sprang to your mind, not knowing where you are or even if you're still alive. you felt sick to your stomach, your bones aching in pain and sore overall, and you felt hot but so cold at the same time. you hit your hand to your face, slapping it, waking up your face muscle, senses, and awareness.

you wiped your mouth from the drool that was solidifying from below you and wiped your nose.

lifting your finger to your eyes, seeing the residue of a mix of white and red stained. your hands dropped, feeling your surrounding areas, swishing and flailing your arms around before you move the rest of your upper body.

a bed. you were on a bed, not comfy in fact, and looked dirty.

well, at least you weren't in hell.

you shifted your body to face the other side of the window, annoyed at the light burning you up. your eyes landed on two bodies, a male and a female, both butt ass naked, covered in tattoos and faded up scars. your eyes widened, assuming the worst, "was i kidnapped...no, that's stupid, what do i have to offer," you whispered to yourself, shaking your head from that stupid thought. you let out a small chuckle, slapping your forehead, "stupid."

you lifted your body up, slapping your face again. a massive headache pounded through your head like you ate thirty pounds of cement which didn't digest well. you felt nauseous, queasy. your hands roamed your frame, wondering if you were naked too. you felt clothes on your body, letting out a sigh of relief. you looked down, seeing a random graphic tee and some random boxers that were on you.

your mind clicked, "threesome?" you stayed on the bed for a couple more minutes, then sighed, getting off it. you picked up your black leather jacket from the ground and walking out of the bedroom. as you left the room, you heard sizzling not so far from here. you were hungry, wondering if it was bacon, but at the same time, you didn't have the time for eating with random strangers. you wanted to leave so you can get back to your place.

you entered the next room, the kitchen, seeing five people awake and at least four other people on the floor sleeping. the five of them stared at you as the sizzling came from some cooking up drugs, you assumed,

not bacon.

you gave them a small wave, as some of them gave it back. you sighed, walking past the five addicts. not wanting to stay before they coerce you into more drugs. before you exited the doorway, you stopped, forgetting that you don't even know where you were. you turned your frame around, "hey, black-haired girl," the girl that you called turned to you, furrowing her eyebrows.

"where am i?"

—— ❦ ——

"w- wanda -- can you pick me up i- i know we haven't been- i know we haven't been talking, and i just disappeared for a month, but i really just need- i really just need to get home before i do something to myself that haven't done already."

you shook as you waited for her to respond, your knees clacking each other, practically choking on your own tears, almost about to break down. you were at the closest payphone from that "house" that you woke up at. practically naked and cold, forgetting to bring shoes again and the leather jacket was the only thing keeping you from freezing out there. you looked onto your surroundings, knowing that you weren't far from your place as the girl told you. you heard someone speak back on the phone, making you yelp in joy.

—— ❦ ——

you and wanda sat in silence, biting your fingers, shaking under the warm blanket wanda handed to you. the girl's eyes shifted to your face, practically pale and more grey than usual. she didn't know what happened, but she wanted to know. she was suspicious when you called in sick from the diner and then when she didn't hear from you the week after that and after that. she was thinking the worst.

"so...explain?"

you looked at her, dried tears stained on your face, cracked lips, and dried eyes.

"i don't wanna talk about it," you spoke softly. honestly, you didn't know what happened after you left bucky's place. all you knew is that you caught a ride to the next state, and then everything was just fuzzy. and all this thinking just made your head hurt.

"y/n. you have to say something. i woke up at the crack of dawn to get your ass, i kind of want an explanation?"

you sank down in the chair, even more, feeling the cushions swallow you up, wanting to disappear from the earth from underneath. you looked at the leather jacket from under the blanket, feeling tears building up in your eyes. you took a deep breath, sucking all those tears up.

"i and bucky had this quick getaway -- running away from all our problems in brooklyn. mines was chase, and his was..... look we had fun for a week, and then i found something and then my impulsivity and my mind not being in the right state. i acted out, and i basically told him to fuck off, and then the next couple of days are a blur. i don't know." you keep a straight expression, not wanting to see the disappointment in wanda face, knowing she is going to nag you after you speak.

"y/n-"

"yes, yes, i know! i probably went on a drug spiral and just took drugs to cope with what i was feeling, then i probably blacked out until i came here."

wanda sighed, pulling her in her car to the parking lot of your motel. you looked up at the broken neon lights seeing that you were even far from your place.

"y/n, i love you lots, but you really need to focus on yourself. i don't know what happened with you and bucky, but you should forget all of that and maybe regulate your health before it's too late. remember i'm always here for you, okay?"

you turned your head to see that wanda was staring back at you. her eyes were a spark of genuine and sorrow, she was pitying you, and you hated that.

the sting of having the one person you thought would never judge you on your actions, pitying you for the mess that you became. you didn't know how to feel about that. in honesty, you didn't even know how to feel about the past month. drowning your sorrow in white, keeping you in a noiseless wonderland only made less of the pain go away, but more of the pain seep in.

"i'll see you later wanda," you jumped out the girl's jeep, your bare feet hitting the cold lot. your grip on the blanket tightened as you ran up to your motel door. knowing that you didn't have any spare keys, you banged on the door loudly, hoping that chase was here to answer. you were trembling, nervous to see his face again after running away from bucky without a trace.

wanda stayed near the lot, looking to see if you made it inside. you turned your body around, still seeing her jeep. you gave her a nod of assurance, telling her that you were fine and she should head home. wanda face patined in nervousness, not knowing what's going to happen once she leaves you alone, but she trusted you and pulled away from the motel slowly but surely.

you took a deep breath about to knock on the door again. as soon as wanda left, the door swung open, and a rough hand pulled you inside and slammed you on the closest wall from the door, almost making you choke on your breath, and made at loud smack as your skull hit the wall.

"what the fuck!"

"where the fuck have you been!" hands gripped on your arms, clinging onto you like you were a felon wanted for murder, the agony going straight from his frustration to your body. making your body burn and making you hiss in pain. chase was staring down at you like a mad man, sweaty and stinky. he looked like he hasn't slept or eaten for days, his hair all oily and grimy.

he was livid, fucking fuming

his face was bright red like he was going to pop a vein right then and there. "you fucking bitch you fucking left me here for that fucking biker. after everything i gave you- after all i did," he chuckled menacingly, "you fucking slut." he looked you up and down, grabbing the rims of your jacket, rubbing the left sleeve with his other hand.

"don't fucking touch it!"

he laughed again, "this is his, isn't it? he fucked you, and now your his property. when i get done with you, i swear-"

you slapped chase, shutting him up and trying to weave your way from, his grasp but he held on tight.

he slowly lifted his head, staring at you with no emotion on his face or eyes. at that moment, you were terrified, but you kept eye contact with him to see where he was headed next, planning for a quick escape. his hands moved slowly to your neck, taking hold of it roughly. he squeezed pressure onto your neck, pushing you back on the wall.

you widened your eyes, completely blanking out from creating your plan, only to find out that he was choking you. panic immediately set into you. chase was strong, way stronger than you, and after not eating a full meal in days and being way weaker than you usually were. you couldn't fight back to your full potential.

"chase- chase- ch- fucking- let go- i- i- i can't- brea-."

you looked into his eyes, to only see black. like something fucking consumes him, his face was senseless, and he was smirking. like he was fucking enjoying see you squirm in his hands and knowing that he had the choice to snap your neck in half or let you lose air slowly.

you were quickly losing conscious, and seeing white spot everywhere, "ch- chase thi- this isn't fuck- fucking funny."

he bit down in his bottom lip till it bled red. his grasp on your neck got even firmer. like he was not planning on letting it go and was actually planning to kill you. you were turning blue, you knew you were on your last breaths, you didn't believe in god, but god damn. you were praying for your own life right now.

after a couple of seconds, he let go. making you fall on your knees, holding your chest, heaving in and out, collecting all the air that you lost in those couple of minutes. you hacking, coughing, your face was stuck in a state of shock from what just happened.

"what..the...fuck."

he started down at you with a blank face, as you were basically gasping for air, tears brimming to your eyes, spitting multiple curse words at him. yes, chase had violent tendencies, but you never thought it would lead to him choking the living shit out of you. for a moment there you actually thought you were going to die. and the knowing chase was capable of that made you sick to your stomach.

you started coughing, feeling something come up from your stomach to your throat. you held your mouth quickly, running to your bathroom. you immediately vomit right into the bowl. the gagging and the smell just made it keep coming. you were basically just crying as you felt your whole organs were purging right out of you.

chase just stared at you from the bathroom door, internally smiling, liking that he regained his dominance, showing you that you shouldn't step all over him again. he chuckled, slowly walking out as your face was deep into the toilet, puking your guts out. you only heard the last words he said to you.

"welcome back to brooklyn, y/n."

© HQYLOFT