2 years ago

"doll, i'm home!"

24-year-old freshly honorably discharged, james buchanan barnes entered the comforts of his home. he smiled as he stepped into his living room. the white walls looking brighter than every color in the house. just clashing and mixing with each other to make a perfect blend. bucky took a whiff of the strong smell of a breakfast platter filing up his nose, the sweet syrup of pancakes, the tangy twang of the bacon, and the milky scent of the runny eggs.

"doll, this all better be for me!" his voice echoed as everything was silent. he inches closer to his house, his eyes viewing the whole scenery, indulging in all the emotions he was feeling. the time was ticking like a bomb ready to explode, bucky was getting more nervous by the second, bucky was about to call out again, and then...

she walked out.

her fair skin-brightened the place immediately, like an angel in the pearly gates of heaven. if this is what heaven was like, bucky wanted to go. her blue dress, complimenting her skin, light and frilly, fitting her firm and elegant frame. her hair filled with golden locks bounced with every move she made, making bucky hypnotizes as he stared at it. running her delicate fingers right through the silk shining off the glowing from the sun hitting it.

as her hands were filled with a tray with golden brown pancakes, baked and stacked to perfection, the syrup laying on the side glisten every time the sun hit.

bucky completely forgot about the pancakes, the bacon, the syrup. just gazing at the gorgeous woman in front of him. knowing that the two years he spent in the army would all lead up to this. just home and seeing her again.

her smile shined brighter than any other, knowing that waiting for two years, crying, and spending lonely days. would lead to her seeing her husband again, all healthy, safe, and not dead in a field.

she was just perfect, just for him.

and he was perfect, just for her.

"evie."

"james."

she set the tray down while bucky dropped his suitcase. bucky rushed up to his wife, swinging her up in the air, clutching her waist, never letting go. they both had the biggest smiles on their faces as they kept swinging in the momentum. they were like in a movie, one with a happy ending, where all their dream came true, spinning in slow motion just staring at each other.

"barnes! get me down right now," evie's voice rang in a charmful manner, "let's eat before the pancakes get cold."

bucky only half-listened to her, stopping the spinning but keeping her in his arms, "but." he gave her a kiss, "i," then another, "missed," and another, "you."

he kept giving pecks of kisses, smothering her as her face lit up in bright red, completing her skin.

"i missed you too, segreant," she got out of bucky's grasp, giving a faulty salute.

he chuckled, "well, not anymore, at least."

"and i'm glad," evie patted down his suit, playing with his hair as bucky kept a joyful face fixed on, "as much as i appreciate this country when i heard you almost lost your arm, i was scared, honey!"

bucky held her closer, pushing her again his frame, holding her waist as she laid her head on his chest. "i know, doll. i made a big decision to come home. i could've kept fightin' for my dad, but you know, i want to here with you and maybe start somethin'."

evie lifted her head, looking up at bucky. her eyes glisten her excitement, knowing what he was talking about. bucky and evie always wanted a family.

knowing that he almost lost his life fighting for this country changed his perspective. he wanted to come back and gave something evie wanted, what they both wanted.

a family.

"really, buck! you really mean it?!"

"of course, doll! i want us to be happy, even though we aren't officially married yet. we can go down to the chapel real quick, wed us up, go right home, and get a head start on that family."

evie giggled, her excitement jumping all around. she hugged bucky real tight, tears almost falling from her eyes, "now, doll, before you squeeze me to death, let's eat some of that food on that platter."

evie nodded, letting him go, "let me just clean up my face i look like a mess."

bucky grabbed her chin, "you're already so perfect, just remember that."

she chuckled softly again, "you're too kind, buck," she kissed him again, leaving his grasp, and then left the room. bucky indulged in his home again. he took a deep breath, knowing how his future is heading the right way. just him and evie, and the new addition they will be adding soon.

he found himself in the kitchen, setting up the plates and napkins, getting everything ready for the platter they are about to eat. he went to look for some forks, forgetting the anatomy of his own home. he finally found the drawer, opening it up. "evie, i literally haven't been here in so long i forgot...the..." bucky started down at the pounds of cocaine. stored in where the forks and spoon were supposed to be.

"let's get some- bucky! do- don't open tha-,"

"drugs eve, really? why the fuck do you have this stored here!" bucky turned around, holding on to the punches in his hands. his face was completely drained from all the joy he was feeling minutes ago.

evie scoffed, folding her arms as she stared at him, "are you serious," she snatched the pound from his hand, pushing him out of her way. she closed the cutlery drawer, leaning her back against it. bucky stared down at her, waiting for an answer.

"have you been usin'?"

"this is not a joke!" bucky snapped. his fits hit the table, the angry seething. he accidentally pushing the plates off as it crashed down, shattering into pieces.

evie flinched harshly, her eyes widening, "what the fuck, bucky!"

his voice was hoarse like he was about to cry, eyes stayed bloodshot. he kept his voice low, trying to reason, "doll, have you been using?"

evie sighed, tears brimming from her eyes, looking away from his gaze, "yes..."

"huh?"

"yes, james! i've been using! is that what you want to hear! ever since you fucking left me alone in this fucking place, this all i had!"

"i did that for my father! do you know how insensitive you sound!"

"oh yeah, cause i don't matter anymore, right?"

"evie, you're damaging yourself!"

"oh fuck off, barnes, you smoke cigarettes i bet cocaine is safer than that."

"it's not! are you that dense!"

evie rolled her eyes, scoffing off a storm as they both went at each other like animals.

screaming, crying, breaking plates, and cursing up at each other. it was madness, a storm that was sizzling in the air, waiting to burst. maybe there weren't so perfect as they thought. problems like these were happening a long time ago, but ever since bucky went to the army, they made up knowing they couldn't live without each other.

he already saw how the drugs changed her, her frantic behaviors, getting all jumpy and defensive on not using. just her overall anger level. he knew what was happening to her, that the drugs were breaking her, every week she kept using, and he didn't even try to stop her. seeing how happy it made her. knowing they still tried to have a baby and having a miscarriage since evie's body was not functional enough to carry a baby, which messed them up, but evie took it the hardest.

maybe they weren't so perfect overall.

—— ❦ ——

"she's so much like you, you know. your personality shines through her, and it scares me. i already fucked up by sleepin' with her, ruinin' her," bucky took in a deep breath, "i miss you every day, you know, i wished i didn't leave that day, and maybe you would still be here."

bucky grasped onto the pile of roses, sniffing them as he held his tears, "i think it will be my last time here," he kissed the roses, laying them down on the gravestone, "i have to move on, especially if i want to get somewhere with y/n. i loved you, evie. stay perfect."

bucky sniffed, wiping the tears off his eyes, as he sat down on a nearby bench. his life changed after evie overdosed on drugs, seeing her lifeless body lay in his arms, his tears falling onto her, trying to make it stop. knowing that he could've stopped this sooner, it haunted him for so long, visiting her grave every day, then every week, then just once a month.

and when he saw you at the bar 2 years later, he was hooked onto you. something struck in him where he just wanted to protect you. make you happy wherein the life of brooklyn, things are not so bright. he knew he messed up when he slept with you, but your touch was intoxicating. it was poisoning him from the inside out. he wanted more of you, even if it hurt the both of you. bucky grinned a little, getting off the bench, knowing where he was going next.

his head swung back, looking at the grave one last time.

© HQYLOFT