WARNINGS — short smut, drug use, small abuse

you sat breathless, your chest heaving in and out. you felt the tickles and brushes of kissing rub up on your neck, the chills sending signals down to your pussy, resulting in you sitting in a pool of your own slick. he went down on you, ravishing you like a fucking meal, eating you out like he hasn't eaten for days, weeks even.

you gripped a clump of his hair, pulling him closer to your clit, your legs buckling and shaking under his tongue.

"yeah— yeah, keep going, please god!"

"y/n, you're suffocating me down here," he spoke into your heat, the vibration keeping you tight-lipped, looking up at you with the dopiest eyes.

"like i'm going down on you. why don't you go down on me."

you opened your eyes, feeling your pleasure wither to nothingness, "and with that, you just ruined the mood, chase."

you pushed the head of your boyfriend away from your pussy. you rolled your eyes, laying back on the comforts of your couch, you grabbed your tiny bag of cocaine out of your pocket. you popped it open, dripping into your fingers, huffing it right into your nose. letting the euphoria of the fumes give you more pleasure than the faulty eating out session.

"okay— damn, i just wanted a blow job."

"and you don't always have to have one, i barely get any pleasure on my own, and i wanted to treat myself and you," you slurred on your own words. muffling your voice as you kept your face covered.

"and i didn't even get cum yet, so you failed chase once again."

chase scoffed, grabbing a beer off the table, sitting next to you.

"don't you ever stop snorting coke?"

you chuckled at him, "hypocrite, weren't you the one who forced me into taking them," you plopped on your knees on the sofa, turning to the side, "begging me, crying, saying it was amazing for me."

chase pushed your forehead, leaving you to fall back on your back, sinking into the couch laughing off a storm, "first that didn't happen, and second, you loved it so."

you stuck your tongue at him, a smirk left on your lips.

you loved these moments, where you and chase didn't scream, didn't yell, or push each other around. just pure love, mixed in with toxic and gin. he picked you like the perfect dandelion you were, stuck in the world of misery looking for an escape and hope. he sucked you into that ropes of love and lust, supplying you with anything you wanted.

drinks, sex, drugs, gifts, anything you wanted, he would give it. maybe that's when it started, apathy. seeing his money drain on things for you, making you guilty on never leaving him, knowing you "owed" him practically your life. you never intended on "running away" with chase, stumbling onto a town known to some.

it was just one of those high moments when you wanted to fuck the authority and do something out of limits.

chase smiled as he climbed over you. he started kissing your face, pecking it one by one with each word, "you're. so. gorgeous. you know that? i'm lucky that you haven't left me yet."

"and you know how many times i wanted to,"

"but you don't so, i guess i'm doing something right," he sticks his tongue at you this time, his grin permanently stuck on his face. you laughed again, covering your face up, embarrassed. you felt like you were falling in love again with the chase you knew, the one who made love to you, supplied you with everything you wanted. it erased all his past motives and harsh words, just leading up to this moment, erasing bucky from your mind like he never entered your life because he didn't have what you wanted. and to be honest, all you really wanted now was chase.

"i have a question?"

you kept your eyes close, the effects of the drugs scratching your brain, making it hard to even form words, "hm?"

"was he better?"

"who?"

"you know the biker?"

you opened one of your eyes, seeing if he was serious. he stared down at you, with a stern face like he was your boss waiting for late work papers. your eyes enlarged, knowing he was serious about this silly question. you started bursting into laughter, your stomach puffing up and down, as chase kept his stern face.

"oh— oh, you're serious?"

"does it look like i'm joking?"

"i really don't have to answer that."

chase grabbed your hands, separating them from your face, "yeah, you do."

your laugh slowly faded away into an awkward giggle, "okay..." you pushed chase off your body, trying to develop the words that come out of your mouth next carefully. you grabbed his chin, holding his hair on the other, running your fingers as he kept his dopey eyes on your lips. you lied straight to his face, "of course you're better, baby."

you kissed him, pecking the sweet cider of the beer off his lips. you got up from under the rest of his weight, stumbling your way to the kitchen. you laid your head to rest on the counter, squishing your face on the counter, shutting yourself off.

"you're lying."

you opened your eyes again, your voice muffled from your face impacted on the marble, "why would i be lying?"

"i see it— in your face, and you're coke out of your mind—"

your face shot up, completely off the counter, "why would it matter that i'm 'coked out' i said, you fucked better, okay? would you like it if i said, 'oh yeah, that biker fucked me so good, way better than you chase, i fucking loved how he choked the shit out of me!' you would've been all over my ass."

chase slammed his hand on the coffee table, shutting you off, "so he was better than me, i fucking knew it."

"oh god, chase! why do you always ruin good moments like these! i never said that he did!" your senses were now all alerted as someone dialed it up to 120. your voice was louder than usual, not really trying to start a fight but make it clear to his head. chase didn't get the memo. he always wanted an excuse to fight with you. he got up from the couch even more mad than before.

"then why did you go back to him! huh— you bitch, he must've had something that i didn't have!"

you got closer to him, raising your finger, "don't call me a bitch, i didn't even go back to him!"

"don't be fucking stupid y/n, i saw that hickey on your neck."

"you're insane."

the both of you started walking closer to each other. yells and screams of accusation kept coming from each of your mouths like everything was in slow motion. it was a full-blown on scream match. you kept trying to defend yourself, while chase kept putting words in your mouth. you were tired, irritated. your frustration was vomiting out all over the floor, trying to slip chase so he can hit his head and come back to reality. your lips start to tremble as you both met at the center. you both grew silent, waiting for each other net response or even action.

you weren't scared of what he was gonna say next. you knew it was going to be all gaslight and manipulation mixed into one. but you weren't ready for what really happened.

chase's hand quickly ran across your face leaving with a loud smack.

silence.

everything was quiet, like the calm after a storm. your hands trembled as you slowly lifted them up to your face, your eyes widened, holding the tears that were about to fall. you felt the stinging pain that lingered behind, you closed your eyes, feeling your wound. he finally did it. chase, fucking slapped you.

you never let chase touched you, ever. you made sure that it never got to that point, no even thinking it would get to that point. taking in all his verbal and mental abuse just so it didn't escalate. you thought he was a coward. he made threats at you to hurt you before but never went through it.

"you did this! you made me hurt you," chase started breaking down, crying up a racket like he was the one that got hurt. you opened your eyes, looking at your boyfriend fall to his knees, hitting the ground floor, his heart aching in pain. he started putting the blame on you like you did this, like you slapped yourself. you knew it was manipulation, you weren't stupid, but you were exhausted. you were so fucking tired. you guys weren't fighting, and you just wanted it to be over.

you slowly walked over to him, bending down to your knees, and you held him. he kept crying, trying to apologize to you, still putting the blame on you in between his sobs. you stroked his hair, trying to calm him down, repeating the words 'it's okay.' you raised your hand again, holding your cheek, rubbing the last aching pain away. you kept repeating the words, trying to convince yourself.

"it's okay. it's over now."

❦

not my best chapter literaturely but one of my favs overall

if there us any mistakes please tell me lol

say it with me: FUCK CHASE

© HQYLOFT