《FALLING HEART》28
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It was amazing how each day was completely different.You never knew what kinda surprise you'll be getting today.You can just wait and be prepared. That's it.
Just a few days before I was ecstatic to know that Aeran had not gone with Ravine. Aiinata couldn't help but comment on the bounce in my step .It was impossible to keep all that giddiness inside me.And it poured out in my whole demenor. I wouldn't be able to refute anyone's claims that I had gone mad.A happy mad.
But then day before yesterday I broke my leg.Getting stagnant in a rainy,stormy day . I really must have lost it.I knew it was gonna rain that day but in my dreamy joyful Aeran induced trance, I was confident enough that nothing can harm me and ruin my mood.Then the thunderstorm knocked Earth's door and practically pushed me out of my happiness drugged fantasy. Then the heroic entrance of Aeran only helped to further shove me out my daze .And now my feet were firmly touching the ground,no longer able to fly.I was paying the price.
Falling from a high point to a low point in a span of a day.Literally and metaphorically. That's life.
I contemplated as I sat on the soft cushion with my leg elevated up by the throw pillows below it. Aiinata didn't waste time in righting me and helping me settle down on my new make shift bed.I must give it to her,she never once commented after knowing about my true living conditions in Aeran's room. She helped bandaging my ankle and even insisted on calling the pack healer but I refused adamantly.I knew it won't be long before Granna knew about it and I really didn't wanna worry her over this small issue.I knew my leg will be alright after I rested it.So that's when she took over the guard duties.She didn't let me get out of that couch.No matter what.I was couch-ridden till the next week.This wouldn't take a week,just a day.I couldn't tell her that.
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I have been given strict orders to not to get any ideas to get out of the room without her permission. Aiinata had hijacked the room.She stayed here all day leaving only when Granna called her.I had extracted a promise from her to not tell Granna the extent of my injury and she compiled belligerently.
Dane came yesterday to check up on me after getting to know about my "accident". He stayed for a while making me laugh.He accomplished the task of changing my sour mood when he left.
Most of the pain in my ankle had subsided leaving only an uncomfortable tingling .It hurt when I stood for too long.So I just sat all day inside the room.The four walls of the room didn't offer the same comfort as they did before.The excitement of being inside Aeran's home had waned.I saw him every night as he came to sleep as usual ignoring my presence or the changes I had made in my bedding arrangements.
Being inside the house all day was really getting on my nerves.I missed the fresh air,the excitement and rush to get to my Garden and the incredible miracle of the nature's handiwork.I missed the thrill of being out.
I was getting better as always.I knew it wouldn't take long for me to heal.It never did.The hard part was explaining how it did.To myself.To others.
Now as I sat alone,my thoughts returned to my only one.
He ignored me. Didn't even look at me nowadays.Whenever I chanced a glance at him,I was met with a stone face.A blank canvas.I could never decipher what went through his head most of the times.But I was satisfied just being near him.Knowing he was there before my eyes calmed me like nothing else.
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Only with Granna and Ravine did he let those stone walls down.I saw it first hand how relaxed he was in their company.The always cold mask faded and in its place came the vulnerability ,peeking from behind that strong facade.
I wanted that as well.To be able to cross at least one of those walls inside.
I wanted to be someone to him.
"Zairi." The loud scream had me turning to the door as it was thrown open.The doors banged against the wall.I saw a wild looking Dane standing at the door.He just stood there with worry crisscrossing his face.His body was tensed.
"What..?What is wrong..?" I asked steadily.
Without his saying a single word ,I knew something was horribly wrong.
When he still stared at me I pushed up into a sitting position.
I stilled and my heart froze.My already tumultuous emotions leaked from every pore of my body.I stopped breathing and my already frozen heart started to break.A panic attack was setting in.It was hard to breath.He must have seen something on my face because he quickly crossed the room and knelt before me.
"No,no..Its not Aeran." His eyes settled on me letting me see the truth behind those words.
The breath I held inside whooshed out from my lungs.My mind settled.My breathing returned and I tried calming down. Knowing that he was alright started thawing the ice around my heart.He was alright.Nothing has happened to him.
He's okay.I am okay.
"Then what is it..?"
He looked away from my curious eyes.He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.
"Tell me.?" I asked louder.Then a horrible realization came."Is it Granna..?" I whispered shocked.
Exasperated he huffed and then spat it out placing his hands on my shoulders."Fuck no.Its your garden."
"Huh..?My garden.?What of it..?"I was losing it now."Just tell me what is wrong..?" I shouted pushing aside his hands from my shoulders.
"It is burning."
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Terminal
My heart was shattered that day. It was on that day that I realized that life had an end, and that mine was coming. It was on that day that I realized that I was going to die. Leukemia, they told me. It's almost over. I didn't know what to do after that. I thought that maybe it would be best to die right then, get it over with. I thought that I could push myself away from all my friends, all my family, stop them from missing me after I was gone. I thought that I could handle it on my own, that perhaps the world was better off without me. I was wrong. So please help me, I'm dying. Save me, I'm falling. They tell me I won't survive. Please catch me, because if you don't, I'll shatter. I can't grab on anymore, I can't keep fighting. It's going to swallow me up. My name is Alyssa Gray, and by the time you finish reading this, I'll be dead. ________________________________ A few warnings and things to note: -I've put up the tramatising content tag due to a lot of mentions on death, dying, illness, and a mother who tends to be rather cruel. I know that I take a perspective that many will strongly disagree with, and I'm okay with that. Just be warned that this isn't lighthearted stuff. This is real, and death is real, and this part streaches beyond the fiction into reality. -I'm going to say a minor spoiler, but I don't want it to take you unaware because it is something to be aware of. At one point, my MC attempts suicide and fails. It's a very violent scene and I will put up the gore tag after writing this, and it's also just really depressing. If this will be triggering, you need to be aware of this before you read it. -This is a christian book. It may go against some of your beliefs. I hope that you can read and comment anyway even if some of it does not sit well with you. Credits for the cover go to the user 'Media in Sanity'. Your help and assitance has meant so much to me, God bless you in your writing and your endevours. A proud member of WriTE. I've promised to finish this fiction and update it at least once a month. My schedule is very irregular, and I'm working on that, but I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that this book stays out there. I'm not ending it until it's done.
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