for my short time here in LA held the back door open for me while I found my enormous Dior shades in my purse. Once I had them, I pushed them over my eyes and slipped from the backseat. The warm heat produced chills as my body relaxed. It'd been super cold in the Suburban truck so my body was thanking me for the vitamin D. Especially since it's been weeks since I'd actually stepped foot outside. Majority of my time had been spent in Orlando with family or making small trips to handle major obligations. Each time I left, I was in and out and back in Orlando cuddling with Khloe and both Willows.

The only reason I'd come to Los Angeles was to be a responsible adult and bring my team up to speed on everything that has happened with me. I didn't want to blindside any of them. A few of them solely depended on me and the others made majority of their income from me. Therefore, it was my responsibility to keep them looped in and give them options or things to think about. The next few months were going to be dry on my end and they deserved to know that.

"This meeting may be an hour or so. I'll text you when we're wrapping up. Go and get you something to eat or something." I told the driver. He gave me a nod.

Jeffery pushed the main door open and held up a strawberry coolata with whip cream on top in the air. I broke out into a smile. He knew that it was one of my favorite drinks and would make me feel better. He knew that I hadn't been myself lately and was aware of a few things that the others weren't quite aware of. But that was because he was my manager and was with me at the gigs I'd been tending to lately.

"I figured you'd be a lil in your head since you called this meeting. I'm guessing I should be worried?" he handed me the drink.

I sighed, "You? No. A few others? A little."

"Well, you look good if that helps any."

I glanced down at my outfit — a slightly oversized powder blue Leaux crewneck, black leggings, white high socks, and a pair of UNC Patent 1's. It wasn't anything special but it was comfy.

"I guess." I shrugged. "Is everyone here?"

"Yep, we're just waiting on you." he gestured for me to enter first.

I waved at the receptionist as I bypassed the desk, heading for the large conference room in the back of the building. Through the glass windows I could see everyone that played a part in my career sitting down at the u-shaped table awaiting me. I pushed through the door making some smiles grow and some drop. They definitely knew that this wasn't good news.

"Goodmorning everybody." I sat my purse down on the table. "I'm glad all of you could make this unexpected meeting. I didn't mean for it to be so impromptu."

"It's fine." they replied in unison.

"But is everything cool? Your text sounded like you're going to deliver some bad news." said Vanessa, my agency representative.

I exhaled, "Everyone in this room knows that I battle with major depression disorder and though I haven't had any outrageous manic episodes — because I have hypomanic symptoms — I have had a suicide scare. From that moment on, things haven't been too great. I mean I've had days where I felt like Korin and like everything was back to normal but it was short lived. I can't keep self medicating this. I need professionals to help me find a way for me to manage this in a way that is effective and helps me move forward in life."

There were a couple people who pinched their noses and others who nodded in understanding. Of course, those in distress were those that worked for my agencies. It was expected but this was a decision that I wanted to make wholeheartedly.

"With that being said, I will be checking into an in-patient facility next Wednesday. It will be a three month program and right now is the best time for me to do this. There aren't any major fashion shows, my campaign obligations have been taken care of and most importantly I am expecting. This meeting is a heads up and a moment for us to brainstorm a plan for after I have my baby and ways to still make money while I'm pregnant."

"And your due date is?" Jeffery asked.

"October 30th. I'll be out and big enough to do maternity shoots. As long as I'm in the clear to work and travel in my third trimester, I will do so."

"And it'll be perfect timing. You'll be in the clear to do castings for fall/winter shows." Vanessa gave a hopeful smile.

I shook my head, "I'll be a first time mommy and I don't plan on being away from my child for a couple months. Postpartum depression will always be a big concern for me considering my current battle with depression. I'll be threading lightly with everything I do after I give birth."

"I don't know how well the agency will accept this information." she rubbed her forehead.

"You're my representative and I know you'll reassure them of what they have and what they'll lose. But if termination is their decision then so be it. I'll move forward." her eyes widened in shock along with a few others. "I'm am very serious about the way I want to move throughout and after this pregnancy. I'm taking a huge leap on faith and trusting myself so I want to be sure that I take every precaution and do my absolute best to keep this pregnancy safe while being sure that I'm a hundred percent, okay?"

They nodded. We then sat and curated a plan that could possibly benefit all of us from here on out. I also let them know about the regulations I had to follow while at the facility. It was a facility all about healing and phones would not be allowed and I needed them to know that. I wouldn't be in contact with any of them but I knew that social media would be a great way to keep a flowing income. We tried to come up with ways to move around the facility's rules without potentially hindering the progress the program was intended to provide.

After everyone felt good about our plan, we ended the meeting and I said my farewells. It felt good to know that I could make my decision to keep the baby work around everything that I wanted to maintain. It had been a few weeks since I walked out of that clinic an emotional wreck and no one really knew that I was pregnant aside from my siblings and now my team. It'd taken long days and nights of talking with God and my parents to make my choice final. There was also this gut feeling tugging at me that I tried so hard to ignore but I was reassured that I knew the right choice to make.

I hadn't reached the stage of excitement just yet but I was completely happy with the decision to keep the baby. Now it was a matter of truly figuring out who I was as a woman, what I wanted for myself and what I wanted for my future child.

"The rest of today is yours." I smiled at the driver, "Thank you for your service today."

"Are you sure? You still have me for a good five hours."

"I'm more than sure. Have a good day, okay?"

"Thank you, ma'am. You enjoy the rest of your day." he tilted his hat to me.

I swung my purse over my shoulder and waltzed across the street to the building that I would be calling home for today and tomorrow. I hit the buzzer for Noelle, letting her know that it was me and she quickly gave me access. I jogged up the stairs to the second floor then traveled down the hall to her door. I didn't get the chance to knock because it was snatched open and I was met by a darkskin beauty.

"Oh, hey." I stepped back a little.

"Korin. This is Eris, Eris this is my best friend Korin."

I reached for her hand, "Nice to meet you."

"Like wise. I'm sorry I can't stay and get to know you a little bit but I'll be seeing you again. I'll see you later, Noelle."

"Call me when you get home tonight." Noelle grabbed her hand, stopping her from going any further down the hallway.

"I will." Eris gave her a kiss.

I raised my eyebrows in slight surprise. I knew that Noelle had put herself back on the market but I had no idea that she was already seeing someone. When they finally parted ways, Noelle invited me inside of the new loft for the first time. I looked around astonished by the minds of Brit and Noelle's mother. They'd brought the loft together completely and it complimented the loft's beautiful yet weird layout wonderfully.

"Yo, this is insane. I'm in love right now." I ran my hand over the marble countertop.

"Imagine waking up in it everyday. So far, my best investment yet."

"I can agree with that. Anyways, was that Eris as in Chazmon's cousin Eris?" I found a seat on the royal blue sectional.

"That was." Noelle grinned. "She fine as hell, yeah? A lil piece of heaven."

"Yeah?" I smiled as well. "She got you like that?"

"Everything is so natural with us, Kori. She isn't afraid to be vulnerable with me and she listens to everything I tell her. So far the foundation is super solid. At this rate I can see this being a long lasting thing and that's not me being the head over heels lover that I am. She has given me a good two months of consistency. I'm actually happy right now."

"I can see! Bitch it's all in your grill right now and I'm so happy for you. Oh my goodness I'm really about to cry right now." I dabbed underneath my eye. "You deserve this and more. Now, I'm excited to get to know her."

"You'll love her. But how have you been? You've been quiet lately. I haven't heard much from you and Brit said she hasn't either. Everything okay?"

"It is now."

"Does it have anything to do with you and Gio? I heard things were a little weird."

I chuckled, "How did I know Brit was going to tell you? Yeah, we're not together anymore."

"What?" she covered her mouth. "Why? What happened?"

"I'm telling only you this right now so don't say anything to Brit. I know she'll tell Chad and he'll run and tell Giovanni--"

"You're pregnant."

I nodded, "And I didn't plan on keeping it. So many thoughts were running through my mind, I was super scared and I thought my mind was made and Gio wasn't okay with me getting an abortion. He tried to talk me out of it but I wasn't budging and he let me know that it was the last straw for him."

"So you're not keeping it?"

"I am. It took alot of thinking and praying but I am. I just haven't told him yet because I don't want him to feel like we can or should get back together now. A choice was made and we gotta stick to it. At least for right now. He said some things that I think he'd been holding onto and he meant with his whole chest so...."

"Aw no, y'all ended badly?"

"He wanted to keep Willow. That told me that he planned to wash his hands of me completely and something about that brings me so much pain." I used my finger to catch a tear. "I hate that I exhausted him to the point he wouldn't be able to have a friendship with me. I know I didn't care to have in him in my life when we first ran into each other again but after reconnecting I don't want to lose him again. But I felt like I had when I walked out of the door."

"Come here, love." Noelle pulled me in for a hug. I laid my head on her chest with tears running down my cheeks. "I can't say that I know what you're feeling but I can tell you that you didn't lose him. You two are now bonded together for life whether it's only to co-parent or y'all find yourselves together again. Either way y'all are life partners."

"He won't look at me the same." I sniffed.

"If that is true, it's something you'll just have to accept babe. What should matter the most is him taking on his role as a father and playing his part. He may never look at you the same or with time he may come to an understanding. Which ever way the cards fold you just make sure you're happy with your decisions."

I blew out a breath, "I just wish this all didn't have to happen. But I'll be checking into a facility soon to work on me so hopefully everything will be copacetic on my end when I return."

"I'm proud of you." she kissed my head. "I want you to work really hard on healing and focus on you so that you can give my niece or nephew the best version of you."

"You're such an amazing friend, Noey. I love you."

"I love you too."

sent chills over my body as I came to with my face buried in the floor. I slowly raised my head and quickly realized that the sharp pain was coming from my head. I had a massive headache. I turned over onto my back just as my night started to replay in my mind and was one that I wished I didn't remember. I'd gotten way out of character.

The season had started a few days ago and our team had won both games against the Dodgers. The boys decided to throw a small get together at our assistant coach's vacation house and I'd gone overboard. I was usually a vodka drinker but had settled for Crown Royal — worst mistake of the night. It wasn't until I was on my fifth shot that I realized I'd gone down the wrong path. Vodka made me a lil horny but for the most part I was chill. Brown was a different story. I either cried or wanted to fight and last night I wanted to do both.

"Aaah shit." I grabbed my head while pushing myself up from the floor. I walked in the bathroom and took a piss before taking a look in the mirror. "Never again, man."

I cut the faucet on and splashed water over my face just as my phone started to ring out from pocket. I groaned. The last thing I wanted to do was hold a conversation with anybody. I pulled it out of my front pocket to see Braxton requesting a facetime call. I dropped my head but answered anyway. I hadn't talked to him in about a week so I didn't want to ignore or decline his call. He never talked for long anyway.

"Wassup kid?" I answered.

"Damn I gotta call from B's phone to get an answer from you?" Pops face appeared rather than Braxton's.

"Wassup Pops? What's going on?" I leaned against the sink.

"You look tore the hell up. You aight?"

"Yeah," I wiped my face. "I hung out last night. You and Mama cool?"

"Yeah, we aight. Your line been quiet so I just wanted to check in and see how you doing. Especially since Korin called asking about you. I thought that was weird." he scratched at his beard meaning he knew what was going on but wanted me to say it.

"What'd she want?"

"Said she needed to talk to you but you she couldn't get in contact with you. Apparently it's important and she needs to hear from you within a few days."

I smacked my teeth, "Important. That's it?"

"Y'all on a break again?"

"Nope—Speaking of the devil herself." the call was interrupted by incoming phone call. "I'll call you back later, Pops."

"Alright." he quickly ended the call.

I sat my phone down on the countertop, allowing it to ring out while I grabbed my toothbrush to start my hygiene process. Korin didn't lie when she told my parents that she wasn't able to get in contact with me, because I'd blocked her after she told me she had Willow in her custody. That was nearly three weeks ago and I was sure her being unblocked had everything to do with last night.

When her name disappeared from the screen I picked my phone up and checked my recent call log and instantly threw my head back. I'd called her four times last night and one of them had been answered, lasting for five minutes. I switched over to the message thread to see if I'd texted her as well. Of course I had.

I rubbed my hand back and forth across my forehead. I could deal with the mess I probably stirred up last night or I could go on with my day and pretend none of it happened. The latter sounded like the best option but knowing that she contacted my parents for something "important" I had to deal with it. Hopefully she chose to keep last night off the table of topics.

I finished brushing my teeth then returned to my bed where I decided to return Korin's call. There was a short silence after the second ring letting me know that she'd answered.

"Wassup?" I spoke first.

She cleared her throat, "Are you busy today? I'm in LA and we need to have a conversation. In-person."

"I got a flight to catch in like three hours."

"Can I come to you then? I'll be quick. I just feel like we should talk about this face to face."

"I'll drop my location." I sighed and ended the call.

To keep from raking my brain with the different possible outcomes of our conversation, I hooked my portable speaker up and climbed in the shower. I needed to clean myself up anyway. The last thing I wanted to talk about was what I may have said over the phone last night and the stench of alcohol wouldn't prevent that.

But my heart is not to be played..

This the mind of a real nigga, mind if I fuck with ya

Lately I've been drinking and they tell me I don't drink liquor

Wanna get too close, I get this feelin' that I'm stuck with ya

T9ine played at a soft volume to keep my headache from growing worse instead just of showering in silence. A silent shower was tortue unless I had a long day and needed to think and reflect. Today wasn't one of those days and though my forehead was slightly throbbing I wasn't going to let it affect me too much. Therefore, I rapped along while covering my body in suds.