, I flee out of my car toward the entrance of the building hoping that I make it on time. Any other day I would have been in attendance on time, but this morning was one of my hard days. When I woke up this morning, I felt a rush of despair and could hardly get myself up. It wasn't anything out of the norm but I hadn't been expecting it when today was such a big day for me.

Today was my very first photoshoot with American Vogue and I should have been exploding with excitement. However, I wasn't and I needed to get myself together. There was no reason for me to be sulking when I was taking such a major step in my career. It was one thing to be a supermodel but to also be an activist and author was another. I'd earned the opportunity to speak to an audience that may have never heard of me. I should've been doing backflips with pride for myself.

"I'm getting on the elevator right now." I spewed into the phone after answering my manager's call.

"You're still on time relax. I was just calling to see where you were but I guess I'll see you in a minute."

I ended the call just as the silver doors of the elevator spread apart. Entering, I took a few deep breaths while giving myself a pep talk. I needed to be up in my mood in order for me to take good pictures. The emotions I was feeling would reflect in my eyes and that was a big no-no meaning I needed to suck this shit up asap. There was no time for me to be sad.

Upon reaching the fourth floor, music played loudly but low enough for everyone's voice to be heard. I spotted my manager Jeffery Féliz sitting in the chair with my name taped on the back. I walked over to him causing him to jump up from the seat with a smile on his face. It vanished as soon as he laid eyes on me.

"What's this mood? Please tell me we're not having one of those gloomy days."

I sat my purse on the vanity. "Do I have enough time to call my mom?"

"Go ahead. The makeup artist isn't here yet. Maybe she'll be here by the time you're finished."

He then walked away giving me the privacy I needed to talk to my mom. She was one of the only people to get me out of a funk when I needed it. Something about the tone of her voice and the thought of how she sprouted from adversity always put a smile on my face.

"Give me one second, it's my daughter." she spoke to someone in the background. "Hey Kori."

"Hey mom. I wasn't interrupting anything important was I?"

"No, no. I'm at the house having breakfast with a few friends. You okay? You don't really sound like it."

"I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I don't know what it is but I'm just not okay today."

"Aw baby, I hate when you have these days. Don't you have a shoot today?"

"Yes, with Vogue. I'm here now and I don't want to feel like this when I'm supposed to be presenting fierceness and happiness in my pictures, you know? I just hate that I get like this. It's so freaking stupid!" I found myself getting frustrated.

"Hey, hey stop that. Nothing about what you go through is stupid you hear me? You have every right to have a bad day. You're not some robot. You won't be able to sit and smile in people's face everyday, all day and that's okay."

"Right." I took a deep breath nodding my head. "Right."

"You'll never guess what I found last night." she changed the subject. "The video of you and Eliana boxing in the basement when y'all were like seven. Girl when I tell you I watched that video about five times dying."

I burst into laughter. "Oh my gosh! That's the video where I busted her lip?"

"Yes and she's talking about 'I need an ambulance, I need an ambulance!' I couldn't stop laughing because she was so damn serious. She didn't even want to be your friend no more."

"She really didn't." I laughed thinking back on the day. "I had to let her punch me one good time in the face so that she could shut up about it."

"Boy y'all used to give me a headache."

"We really did. You hated when we were together because we never took anything serious."

"Y'all would be in the store blatantly talking about people like they could hear y'all, laughing all loud for no reason... just a mess!"

"Those were the good days." I smiled with a sigh. Someone then called my name from behind me.

"Uh oh, looks like you gotta go. I want you to think of all your favorite moments in life and give me pictures worth seeing. Best believe that cover will be posted somewhere in this living room for everybody to see."

I chuckled knowing that she was serious. "I will. I love you old lady."

"Ya mammy old." she retorted. "Be great my big baby and I love you too."

I tucked my phone away into my purse then walked over to the photographer to introduce myself. It was a step that I never forgot to do when I was having a photoshoot. We needed to be the most cordial on set because it would be them snapping the pictures. I never wanted to be at a shoot where the photographer and I weren't cool. It would be too awkward to function properly.

After she and I held conversation for a few minutes, I traveled back over to the vanity for hair and makeup. The makeup artist had finally arrived so it was time for them to beautify me to the creative director's desire. I made sure to keep as still as possible, but I was also drinking a protein smoothie to be sure that I was nourished for the hours that I would be here.

"Hi Korin, I'm Olivia Colton from Vogue USA and I would like to interview you as you prepare for your photoshoot." an Asian woman around my age pulled up a chair next to me.

"Hi, nice to meet you— oh my gosh, I really like your shoes!"

"Thank you!" she beamed. "But okay, there's quite a few questions but I don't want you to rush through them. I want you to be authentically you." she sat a recorder in her lap.

"Always."

"I want to start with your modeling career. When exactly did that get started for you?"

"My sophomore year in college. I've always had an itching love for taking pictures so I started to take pictures of myself. I gained quite a following after I began to post them and one day I just walked into an open casting in Miami on a wimb. Now here I am about to shoot with Vogue!"

"I can tell you're excited about this. What does it mean to you, having this opportunity after only modeling for four years?"

"It means everything to me. I'm very proud of how far I've come in this industry. Now that I'll be on the cover of Vogue I'll be able to reach a bigger audience and bring more awareness to who I am and what I represent."

"Speaking of representation, you're a very loud speaker on mental health and social injustice. What inspired you to stand up for those specific issues?"

"My grandfather has always told me, if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything, and mental health is something that I've seen too much of. Especially in the black community because we seem to believe that we can't suffer from mental illnesses when we're the number one prospects. We've suffered so much trauma from oppression and discrimination that it is astonishingly beautiful that we are able to still stand and shout for what we deserve.

"To know what all we've been through as people and not be inspired is utterly insane. If resilience like that doesn't make you want to shout for equality and respect from a rooftop then I honestly don't know what will."

The hairstylist snapped her fingers with a head nod causing Olivia to smile. She continued to throw questions my way and basically have a conversation with me until she had nothing left. It was actually one of the coolest interviews that I've had. Rather than just throw questions at me, she listened to my answers which allowed her to freely pick my brain. She was an amazing interviewer.

A long six hours passed by before the shoot came to an end. Over time, my mood had picked up drastically allowing me to do what I was paid to do. I felt really good about the shots we were able to get and I had to commend the styling crew, the makeup artist, and the hairstylist. They all did their thing and made me look flawless. I couldn't be more grateful for their hard work.

When they came thru, it made my job a little more easier. It was easy for me to be fierce when I felt and looked fierce.

"Thank you to everyone here in this room!" I spoke loud enough for everyone to hear me. "All of you were amazing and I'm more than grateful to have been able to work with you guys."

"You were just as amazing. I'm so glad that I got to meet you today, Korin. Keep doing what you're doing. You're an inspiring woman." the hairstylist gave me a hug.

"Aw thank you. Bye everyone!" I waved them goodbye on my way out to the elevator.

"I'm so proud of you, Korin. You always come thru for yourself even when you're having a bad day." Jeffery commended me.

"I have to. We've gotten way too far for me to throw it all away."

"Hell yeah we did." he gave me a high five.

«»

I ran my hands down the side of my jeans scanning myself in the mirror.

"Give me a second." Eliana called from my bathroom. A few seconds later, she stepped out causing me to turn to her. "Oh yeah that is cute."

The choice of wear for tonight was a pair of mom jeans and a red, satin button down loosely tucked inside. To snatch it all together, I wore a black Gucci belt and black sandal heels. For accessories I chose to sport layered necklaces, a tennis bracelet, and two of my favorite rings.

We were going down to a bar a few blocks away to celebrate my Vogue shoot. Though it was just a bar, I wasn't one to step out of the house looking any kind of way. I liked to be well put together even if it was in a pair of sweatpants. I preferred to be caught looking decent or nice rather than down bad.

"Okay then I'm ready to go." I teased my hair with my fingers to keep it from laying flat. It was still straightened from the photo-shoot but I hated bone straight hair.

"Alright." she murmured while applying lipstick to her lips. She capped it then cut my bathroom light off. "Noelle's going to meet us there."

"Yay! I feel like I haven't seen her in forever, she's been so busy."

"All of us have."

"I know. That's why we'll be in Thailand next week for my birthday living our best lives. We need to spend a little more girls time together before all of the fashion chaos starts."

"I heard that."

We made our way out of my Tribeca condo down to the lobby so that we could step out onto the street. The soft June wind brushed across my face as cars sped by attempting to beat the yellow light. It switched red, giving Eli and I permission to cross the street.

The walk to the popular bar was filled with laughter as we grinned in the cameras of our phone for videos and pictures. We'd even stopped at an aesthetic store front to capture a few post worthy photos.

Finally reaching M1-5 Lounge, we slipped inside as someone was on their way out. The place was strict on age, therefore, we had to present our ID for age confirmation – it was 21 and up restricted.

Unlike the other bars that I'd checked out, this one was much more appealing upon entrance. It was dimly lit giving off a mellow and relaxed vibe as people sat around conversing and sipping on their drink of the night. Chestnut colored wood covered the floor and the wall was made of red bricks. There were dozens of framed autographed jerseys hanging along the walls showing its age and popularity.

"This is nice." Eliana cooed walking toward the bar. "I didn't expect this from the name."

"Neither did I."

We approached the bar causing a man with silky black hair tied back in a bun to step over to us. He flashed a smile. "What can I get for you ladies?"

"Long Island." we ordered in unison after scanning their options.

"Coming right up."

I used that time to take in more of the lounge and what it had to offer. There were tables line up in the middle of the floor but in a manner that allowed dancing room. On the other side of the room were booths giving more privacy than the tables. The booths were accompanied by loud laughing men. All of them wore wide smiles which made my lips curve into a smirk at their joy. A few woman were seated with them wearing the same smirk as I.

It was always nice and refreshing to see men smiling and having a good time without being ignorant. They wore the glow of happiness very well when it was genuine.

"Here you ladies are." the bartender snatched my attention away from the group.

"Thank you."

We paid for our drinks then thought about a place to sit. Eliana decided that she wanted to sit in a booth rather than out in the open at a table. I followed behind her to the very last booth while taking a sip of my drink. I took a seat with back toward the wall and she sat across from me.

"There's Noey." I told her watching as our friend Noelle entered the bar spotting me. She headed in our direction with a sweet smile on her face. "Hi whore."

"Hey whore." she bent down giving me a hug. "Congratulations on the cover of Vogue bitch. You're making big moves."

"It's either that or go home, you feel me?"

"Period." commented Eli. We all laughed.

"I'm going to order a drink. Do they have good options?" Noelle asked placed her purse down, but not without taking out her wallet.

"Their cocktail list short as hell that's why we have long islands. But I mean you drink beer so you have more options."

"Alright. I'll be back."

"So what have you been up to missy? You never told me how the date went with the tech guy." I started a conversation with Eliana.

Her eyes lit up. "Girl he was amazing. I never saw myself being so interested in a little nerd but he is irresistible. Something about him just grabs all of my attention and plus he's fine."

"How fine? Morris Chestnut?"

"More like Christian Keys, Shemar Moore fine."

I widened my eyes. "Girl you know I love me some Shemar Moore. If he's that fine you're lucky."

"Don't I know it. But what have you been doing outside of work? Been on any dates yet? Lord knows you need to."

"I'm not in the game of wasting time."

"Bitch." she rolled her eyes. "You need to give somebody a chance. It's kinda scary how you've been single without interaction."

"I just haven't met anyone that peaks my interest. The niggas that message me or approach me are usually played out or hella corny. I'm not for it."

"I guess I can dig that. Let's see if we can find someone up to your standards in here." she turned in her seat glancing around. "Oh look, him over there not too far from Noey."

"He's been there the whole time. He's definitely going thru something."

She laughed. "Okay um...what about dude that just came in the door? Nevermind he's not cute. Girl what a minute." she quickly turned around with wide eyes.

"What?" I frowned.

"Is that Giovanni Hoffman sitting in the third booth?"

At the sound of that name my chest collapsed. I peeked around her head in search of the third booth. When I found it, I scanned over all of the visible faces until my eyes landed on the only man facing me. His eyes flickered up to look at one of his friends and for sure it was him in the flesh.

I couldn't see much of him but from the sweet brown eyes adorned by thick, long lashes I knew it was him. Not many people could wear those eyes the way he did. Just knowing that he was in the same building as me made my body temperature rise. Not in sexual desire but in anger and resentment. I never wanted to see him again in my lifetime yet there he was.

"That's him right?" she asked for confirmation.

"Who?" Noelle returned taking her seat beside me.

"An old friend of ours. He, Korin and I all used to be good friends until he just moved away the summer going into our sophomore year."

"Well is that him, Korin?" Noelle looked over at me.

"It is." I answered just before taking a dragged sip of my drink.

"Forreal? I wonder if he remembers us." Eli turned around in her seat giving him a wave. He stared for a few seconds, a frown took over his face, then he slid from the booth. "Seems like he does."

"Oh my goodness." I mumbled covering my face as if the sun was shining down on me.

"You okay?" Noelle whispered to me. I shook my head no.

"Eliana Carter?" the bass resting on his raspy voice shook my chest cavity. "Damn, how you been?"

"I've been cool, living my best life if we're being honest. How have you been? It's been almost a decade."

"I know, but I've just been chilling. It's crazy to see you way up here in New York. You live up here?"

"Yeah, Korin and I both."

"Korin? Korin Alexander?" the sound of my name rolling off of his tongue sent a dart through my heart.

"Yeah, she's right here."

Now that I was put on the spot, I removed my hand from my face revealing myself. Giovanni stood their in his dark glory standing at about six foot six with nothing but muscle mass making up his figure. It was obvious that he enjoyed the gym life but knew how to keep it from being too much. His skin had also improved no longer wearing dark spots from popped pimples. He was now able to present his baby face with vibrancy and pride.

Those beautiful eyes of his landed on me immediately taking me back to all our moments under the moonlight and stars. It also took me back to when I last saw him fueling my anger.

"Wow...." he smiled his boyish grin tucking one of his large hands in his pockets. "Hey Korin."

"Hello." I folded my hands to target my anger elsewhere.

We locked eyes and had a short stare off. He seemed to be longing and happy to see me while I felt the complete opposite. I wanted nothing more than for him to walk away and go back over to his group of friends.

"So what brought you to New York?" Eli asked feeling the tension radiating off of me.

He rubbed his neck pulling his eyes away from me. "I play for the Mets."

"Really? I thought basketball was your thing."

"Things happen and shit change, you know?" he shrugged. "Let me get your number though so we can hang out and catch up."

Eliana took his phone to insert her number. I discreetly rolled my eyes drinking the remainder of my drink. Noelle gave me a look asking what was going on, but I said nothing to her. I wouldn't as long as Giovanni stood there acting as if everything was fine between the two of us.