Amber's P.O.V

"Okay Miss Hutton everything is sorted, I have taken down key notes from your statement that can really do damage against Mr Jones. The judge will take into account all the emotional and physical trauma you have went through, and hopefully add on a few extra years onto a jail sentence. You are going to be fine when you make your speech because your parents and brothers will be sitting very close to you whilst you are up there. The court case will take place next week, see you there." My lawyer concluded and shook each of our hands firmly.

Our parents made it to the meeting but were slightly late from finding work for the pair of them and sorting out our debt. We are finally making some money.

"Oh sweetie, it will go smoothly I promise." My mom tackled me into her warm hugs as soon as we left the building. I returned the hug and we all walked to the car, all silent but thinking hard about what is going to take place in exactly a weeks' time.

The day I will finally have my freedom.

Our parents sat in the front whilst our brothers all sat at the back. Grey and Isaac were playing a multiplayer game on their phones, fully immersed into the tiny screen of their phones, swearing at each other and laughing when killing the other's character.

Dylan pulled out his huge notepad he stores under his 'Special creative seat' and began to draw clothing designs, I watch in wonder at how Dylan's perfectly manicured hands, move gracefully across the page and create masterpieces that one day will be turned into real clothes. Mind blown...

Jason sat in the middle so he was my car pillow for the journey home, his muskily shoulders were the perfect pillow and warmness for my aching head.

Recently I have been getting the worst migraines in my head, an aching body and depressing thoughts. I blame this all on redrawing from heroin and these are the painful side effects from not taking them. I get my head as comfortable as I can on Jason's shoulder and try and rub the pain away, not succeeding and only creating more anger and depression from it.

"What's wrong angel?" Jason murmured against my hair, rubbing circles on my tense shoulders.

"I feel pain," I said numbly, wanting to cry my eyes out from the pain and the bad thoughts in my head, telling me to take the drug or hurt myself if I don't.

"Where do you feel pain?" he asked, sitting me up so I am facing him. Not wanting to talk, I lift my hand up and point to my head. Jason sighs sadly and cups the sides on my head, rubbing soothing circles on my temples, surprisingly calming me down.

"This is from not taking heroin, isn't it?" I nod my head silently, trying to block out the voices in my head, telling me to do things I don't want to do.

I haven't told anyone this but I have been hearing voices and whispers in my head for about a week, telling me to run and go get drugs and take them, telling me it will take the pain away from my head. When I resist the voices, they tell me to cut myself and get relief from that if I don't inject heroin to do so.

I haven't given in to the voices, but I'm slowly losing what little hope I have.

My mind has always been corrupted ever since I have taken the stupid drug, constantly thinking of taking it or something harder and more addicting. I can't get the feeling it gave me out my head and my body craves it every day.

My parents think I'm getting better and my brothers don't suspect a thing. I have kept it that way and said that I'm fine, but I'm far from it.

I needed a form of relief and if cutting my skin can do it, then what's the harm in trying? I have never tried it before so how do I know if it works, like the voices tell me...

The sounds of clicking and the slamming of doors breaks my violent thoughts and I realise everyone is getting out the car.

"We are home princess." Jason says quietly whilst picking me up and resting me on his hip. Slamming my car door and walking to the house.

We all pile through the doors and everyone goes their separate ways, I go to jump off Jason's hip but he places his hand down my back so I can't move, I look at him confused but before I could comment on it, he starts walking up the stairs, not saying a word or glancing my way. He takes me to my room and closes the door, but dragging the chair under the handle so nobody can come in. My brothers made sure my door doesn't have a lock, in case something were to happen to me if they weren't there.

He stares into my eyes with worry in his eyes whilst I look back at him in confusion.

"I'm worried about you Amber." He says quietly as if the words physically hurt him. I stared up at him emotionless and held one of his hands, needing some form of comfort.

"Why?" I ask quietly, knowing how stupid I'm being from playing dumb with him, Jason reads me like a book, there is no way he can fool for my lies.

"Tell me what to do so I can take your pain away." He said in a broken voice, looking down at our joined hands with sadness. I think this is the first time I have ever seen Jason look so devastated, looking vulnerable and heartbroken. I rub his hand affectionately and whisper encouraging words like "I'm fine." "There is nothing to worry about." And "It's all okay..."

"NO ITS NOT!" Jason roared and swung his fist straight through my mirror, smashing it into tiny pieces and ripping the skin from his knuckles.

I gasp from the amount of blood and run straight to him.

"What the heck Jace?! Come here." I said and dragged his still angry body to my bathroom, making him sit on the pink lid of my toilet while I grab the first-aid kit.

I start tending to his wound and patch him up, while I tend his wound I feel him stare at me the entire time, looking at me like I'm a broken doll that has been shoved in the washing machine, drowned and missing half my face.

I know he wants me to open up, tell him everything I'm feeling but it isn't as easy as that...

Jason is my number one role model that I look up to, ever since I was born I was told by my parents that I idolised my big brother. Apparently, the first word I have ever said was 'Jacey' and I have called him that ever since. Much to my father's dismay, wanting my first word to be 'Dada' or 'Daddy' but mom told me he eventually got over it...

I was constantly attached to Jason's hip and following his rules like an obedient little puppy. He has always been my rock and I have always confided in him, telling him everything on my mind and things that have bothered me, he listens to every one of my words and gives me advice that I still follow to this day.

Jason is literally my other half.

Stolen half of my heart and I know I can never be apart from him.

This is all probably why Jason hasn't had a girlfriend in a long time. The last girlfriend he had was called Sophie and apparently, I scared her off, telling my brother that I was acting as if I was his girlfriend instead of her.

I was five at the time, the woman was scared off by a five year old... Good riddance, I never liked her anyway.

Back when Jace would leave for business trips or going away on holiday with his mates, I would throw huge tantrums and basically shut down completely, no eating, no drinking, no caring or bothering to function for the day ahead. Our parents would be so worried that they would beg Jason to come home early, and he did it every time. Vowing to twelve year old me that he would never leave me again, I made him pinkie swear and he hasn't broken it since.

We have a special kind of relationship that I would never trade for anything. I would take a hundred bullets for my big bro and I wouldn't have it any other way.

With teary eyes I lean over and hug my big brother, wrapping my arms his neck with my legs wrapped around his legs like he's a tree and I'm a koala.

I decided to spill my mind and see how he takes it.

"Jace...I have been having these really bad headaches recently and I'm feeling pain everywhere. I feel much weaker mentally and physically and I don't know what to do. I'm feeling much more paranoid and scared than normal, I think you're right that this is the after effects from not taking drugs and it scares me, it scares me that my body is so dependent on them and I am losing control of my own mind....I-I have been hearing these voices." I paused and waited for it to all sink in for him.

I felt him pull me away and look at my face, he looked terrified and scared shitless whilst looking at me. I hated that he looked so useless and that my hero is vulnerable, something I have never seen in Jason before.

"W-what voices?" He asked nervously, I bit my lip and felt my teeth rip away at my skin, flooding my mouth with that metallic blood taste that makes me want to gag.

I look into his eyes once more then look down shamefully, knowing what I'm about to say is going to change everything...

I will never be treated the same after I utter these last words.

"I hear voices telling me to kill myself."

*****

Jeez, I never meant for this chapter to be so heavy and sad, oh well!

Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Just to let you know, this book is coming to an end soon, I predict only a few more chapters then book one is done!

I do plan on writing a book two with even more craziness that you will no be able to handle!!! Just writing the plans for book two, I was thinking "I didn't know I could make things get weirder"...but trust me it will be.

Hope you guys are having a wonderful day and I will see you soon with another chapter.

-Mari