And Allah said: I am with the ones whose hearts are torn.

— Hadith Qudsi

Life will make you and break you until you are dust and bones— until the earth embraces your body and absorbs it in. But what can a mere human do? None can numb their hearts to the pain; it is a foolhardy organ— treacherous to any logic. But what good is that logic which feeds on one's joy? Without peril, any chase will lose its thrill. The black and white of life go side by side; the nature is in balance. But human emotions never are.

That's what sears him when once more, he's tested to be torn apart, like he has been torn apart before but has barely been able to stitch himself back together— she has been the one to be stitching him back together. His heart isn't ready to be ripped off his chest again. This death he has been dying everyday whilst living without a purpose had started to fade off now, cannot be restarted.

Leyla is his beating heart, his golden life— turning his heart into gold. He cannot live without her anymore. When has a man lived without a heart after all?

If he could've run, he would've. But he still tries to walk as fast as he can with his forearm crutches. The sight he's seeing is of discomfort to him. He doesn't know anything about that man who has approached Leyla besides his name, but he does know he's bad news. That alone is enough to make him rush towards them— towards her.

"No one speaks to me that way," he hears the man, Asfandyar as he remembers him from the diner, say to Leyla as he nears them. He's looming over her with his back towards him.

"I'm not no one," Leyla retorts, pushing the bouquet of red roses to his chest and trying to walk past him.

He's quick to grab her arm and pull her back. "That's why you're special, khwagy."

Something within him explodes in fury. He doesn't know where this rage— this jealousy— is coming from, but he knows this possessiveness he feels over his wife is only natural.

Grabbing hold of the back of his shirt, he jerks Asfandyar away from Leyla. "Let go of her." He glances at his hand holding her arm before paralleling his glare, trying to manage his weight on his good leg.

"And who the hell are you?" Asfandyar demands harshly.

Leyla swallows and subtly shakes her head in a no. He doesn't know why she doesn't want him to answer the question, but he decides to listen to her, having only knowing bits of her story.

So he turns to Asfandyar and grits his teeth. "I said, let go."

"Asfand." Leyla struggles with him. "Release me."

"Release you?" He now looks at Leyla and smiles mockingly. "After I've been searching for you like a madman and found you, you want me to let you go?" He meets Burq's eyes again and scowls. "Never."

Losing his remaining patience, Burq headbutts him hard across his face. Asfandyar stumbles back from the impact but quickly catches his footing. He touches his nose and finds his fingers bloodstained. Leyla hurriedly move away from him to Burq's side.

"How dare you?" Asfandyar spits, staring daggers at him, giving him a once over in pity, eyes lingering on his splinted leg, before shifting them to Leyla. "Who is this man to you?"

She refuses to speak, clutching Burq's forearm tightly. "Leave. I'll come back to you in a while," she whispers to him.

He gives her a look of incredulity. "Leave? I can be anything, woman, but not shameless to leave you here with him."

"I am her fiance," Asfandyar interjects. Burq's head snaps towards him, suddenly shocked at the revelation.

"Was," Leyla is swift to correct.

"Still am," he insists. "And this man's intervention in our affairs is uncalled for."

"I am her husband," Burq hisses in rage. "And your existence in our lives is uncalled for."

He hears Leyla take a shuddering breath beside him as Asfandyar's gray eyes turn deadly in shock. He stares at him in disbelief before finding Leyla again.

"Tell me he's lying, Brekhna."

Brekhna? Another explosion goes off in his brain. Her name is not Leyla? Has she been lying to him all this while? What more secrets does she have? Has Leyla been playing him— using him? These stories of hers are scaring him now.

She raises her chin defiantly. "He's not lying."

He watches his features change colors— remorse, wrath, disgust, everything mingling together. Asfandyar clenches his fists. "You've married another one?"

She doesn't respond.

"You eloped on our wedding night. Do you even have any idea what people have been saying about you?" Asfandyar growls. "That the daughter of Bahramand has brought disgrace to her family— that you've been involved with someone else behind my back and ran away with him." He shakes his head in dismay. "You're just like your brother, Brekhna. Ungrateful, traitorous, foolish. But I was the one who stood up for you against everyone— against my own father to marry only you. And here you are," he jerks his hand towards Burq, "proving me wrong and everyone else right. How so dishonorable of you."

Burq can feel the flushed feeling of her hand against his skin. She's upset, angry, and it's apparent. But she bites her tongue and replies calmly, "I haven't dishonored myself neither my family, God bears witness."

"Really?" he steps closer and grins slyly. "So you mean coming to me that night was an honorable thing to do?"

This time, he actually hears her grinding her teeth, just like his heart feels grounded. He trembles in rage, so does she.

"Nothing ever happened between us that night, Asfand," she hisses. "You making lies won't change the facts."

"I assume your husband doesn't know anything about us and me being here is making you feel insecure." He glances at Burq. "Does he know of your reputation as a corrupted woman?" He chuckles humorlessly. "He must not for he wouldn't have married you otherwise. No one would've accepted you except me."

All the resistance she has dissipates into thin air as the next thing he sees is Leyla slapping him hard across his cheek. The sound resonates in his ears like a never ending ringing. If he's shocked, Asfandyar is less so. He strangles her with his eyes, stepping towards her.

"You—"

Burq comes to stand in front of her. "Leave now," he jerks his chin at him, "before I call the cops for you harassing my wife. I would've dealt with you my way were my hands not occupied."

"We're not done yet," Asfandyar warns, throwing Leyla a meaningful look before leaving.

They both stand there in silence, watching the sea reflect sun rays and the waves come and go. The bouquet of wildflowers lies at his feet. He picks it up, failing to process the events that have unfolded, and she probably doesn't know how to explain it. But he doesn't need any explanation from her. He needs time for this feeling of betrayal to numb for him to listen to anything. So he turns away from her.

"Burq?" She quickly puts her hands around his arm to stop him.

"I'll ask Waleed to drop you home." He gently tugs himself free of her.

"Listen to me—"

"Please, no."

"Don't shut me out like this," she pleads with him. "Hear me out before you make any assumptions."

"I've heard and seen enough for one day. I just want to be alone." He starts walking away from her.

This time, she doesn't stop him.

➳

"I'll narrate to you a story about the first man to ever worship God at the bottom of the sea. Do you know who he is?"

"Who?"

"Prophet Yunus. Jonah." Leyla puts her arms around her legs and smiles at him. "His story gives us a message of repentance and worship, and How God is merciful and forgiving, and how He hears our pleas even in the deepest of oceans."

"Tell me this story then, habibi."

Burq puts down his juice glass and leans towards her curiously, supporting his weight on his elbow as he lies beside her on the blanket on the beach. The summer sun in warm in the sky. They sit under the shade of the umbrella.

"Yunus was sent to the people of Mosul, in Iraq, to call them towards the right path and to the worship of God alone," she begins, putting her chin on her knees. "But like many other nations who rejected their prophets before him, his people did the same. He warned them of the punishment of God that He'd send upon them as He had send upon many other generations before them when they denied the messengers of God, but they didn't pay him any heed. He really wanted people to listen to his message and accept faith, but no one was; he started losing patience. Therefore he decided to go far, far away from his nation, to another land, somewhere where people would listen to him. So that's what he did, without waiting for God's permission, and boarded a ship and left."

"And that became his mistake," Burq adds.

"Yes," Leyla affirms. "Because after all, he was a human too. Though a prophet, he was a chosen one tested by God."

"Proceed please," he requests and she smiles.

"Meanwhile the nation of Yunus started seeing the punishment their prophet had been warning them about, in the form of very dark clouds coming towards them. The people of Mosul had heard of the nation of prophet Lut before them; the ruins of Sadum city weren't far from them. When they saw the punishment, they realized what Yunus spoke of was indeed true. So all of them, every single person in their land, repented to God, cried and asked for His forgiveness. And then God accepted their pleas and favored them over the people He had punished before them, because all of the Mosul turned to their Lord and set up an example. Thus, the nation of Yunus became a noble one, unlike others."

The breeze picks up and she covers her eyes, turning towards him. He eagerly waits for her to continue again.

"What happened afterwards?" Burq asks.

"So while Yunus was on the ship out into the sea, suddenly the wind started blowing, turning into a storm and shaking the ship, until it slowly began to sink. The people decided to throw out their good to make it lighter, but the ship was still sinking. And then, they decided to draw lots and throw people out one by one too. So everyone gathered and drew out the first name, and it was Yunus'." She stretches her legs now and leans back on her hands. "Now they knew he was a good, righteous man. They thought why not rid of the bad ones since people like him were rare in the community. So they drew the lot again and his name came out again. Calling it a coincidence, they tried once more, and his name came out the third time too. Now Yunus knew this was from God. He recited His name and jumped out into the sea."

"And a whale ate him?" he asks as she pauses.

"Yes, by the order of God Almighty. And Yunus lied in the belly of the whale, unconscious. The whale went down to the bottom of the sea, and then Yunus heard something. He asked God about what he was hearing, and God told him it was the recitation of the pebbles and fish in the sea— they were worshipping God. And Yunus, he fell into prostration inside the belly of the whale, into the darkness of the sea, of the night, of the whale's belly, and called out to his Lord." Leyla gazes out to the horizon, appearing lost. "I'm the first human to be worshipping you here, and I've wronged myself, but You're exalted so have mercy upon me, my Lord, he prayed. And the angels took up his call to his Lord. God said, had he, Yunus, been not His sincere worshipper and didn't always remember Him, he would've stayed in the whale's belly till resurrection day. And so by God's command, the whale threw Yunus out on the shore."

"What then?"

"He was so weak that he couldn't even stand, so God grew a ground vine over him. It gave him shade and he could eat from it, and he was cured by God's will. Then, he returned to his people and was shocked to see all of them had accepted the message. And God gave them the joy of this life till a specified time."

He lies wide awake in his bed, staring out through his bedroom window into the night. The crescent shaped lamp dimly lights his room, reminding him of her.

He cannot get her out of his dreams- memories- his heart. Her stories sink into his bones and haunt him at night. Leyla might end him.

But at the same time, she's the one feeding his soul, for the feed of the soul is the remembrance of God, and he remembers his Lord.

"She has brought me closer to You," he mumbles into the silence and inhales shakily. "You made her my peace. Now don't take her away from me, ya Rabbi."

He closes his eyes and feels his tears wetting his cheeks. For the first time since his mother's death, more than twenty one years ago, he finds himself crying.

➳

Thoughts?

So, I've received multiple comments on how the names in this book are a bit different/difficult, since I've chosen local ones. I know it's kinda late for this now but I'll be uploading characters' aesthetics to help you pronounce/understand the names better.

Keep sharing your love. Sending you all love back.

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