So, yes I know finally. Blah blah blah. I’m not going to waste space to try to explain that I have a life and college is extra time consuming and that I probably jeopardized my grades by writing this and that half of you would cry like little girls if you had my schedule! I’m seriously getting tired of explaining this. 0_0 I’m pretty sure I’m failing my class tomorrow actually. Lovely.

Oh, I think I should do this though. No underage drinking, alright kids? Listen to your mommy. Drinking is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Space monkeys will try to eat your brain if you drink before the legal age! 0_0 Yes there might be underage drinking here, but hey, don’t do what my characters do. Blake and Lexi are a bit dumb sometimes! ;P (Oh and technically Blake is of legal drinking age at 18 in Québec, where I live, so suck it! ;P) But ya… You can have a lot of fun without alcohol! Alright? Got it? Yes? You suuuuuuuure?

Hmm.. aside form this, well here you go, Blake’s birthday party. I think a lot of you have been waiting for this one! lol I’m not perfectly happy with it but heck it’s 3:34AM and mommy needs her beauty sleep before getting up at 7AM. Oh and for those who wonder, I still have like 15 chapters worth of material to write for this story.

So anyway, ENJOY!

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I took another deep breathe, my hand on the car door, looking out the window, my other hand fiddling with my curls.

“If you don’t get out of the car, I’m kicking you out. Or better yet I’ll drag you by the feet, now that ought to be a nice scene,” Josh grinned, pushing me on the shoulder.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

After our talk in the park, he had brought me home and I had started to mentally freak though I preferred considering it as mentally prepare. What would I tell Blake? Should I kidnap him or something to force him to listen to me? And if I did go to his birthday should I get him a present? What should I wear?

Every year Blake’s birthday party was a big celebration. Of course, seeing I had been freaking out all week I hadn’t been listening to the lunch time gossiping about it, so on Thursday that’s when I learned what had been prepared this year; the party was at the guest house on Blake’s parent property because they didn’t want anyone to have the possibility to leave the place and drive while drunk.

I knew exactly why they wouldn’t want something like that to happen…

So with that in mind, on Thursday night I had gone shopping for something decent to wear dragging Daph and Alex with me, blurring everything I had been bottling up all week long. For some reason I felt a bit bad by spending time with Alex, with the whole burst out Blake had on me about him… I mean I knew the details but Blake didn’t and I’m sure it would hurt Blake to know I was with Alex right now… Ugh. Things would be so simple if Blake could know the truth about this, but I would never force Alex to say anything and I wouldn’t say anything either because friends wouldn’t do that… but it still sucked.

And Blake wasn’t really in a position to judge with the whole Kendal thing. I was trying to be understanding and all because Josh was right and because Blake was hurting but it didn’t mean I had completely forgotten about it.

What wouldn’t I do for that boy… it was pitiful, really…

“You always space out like this?” Josh asked, waving his hand in front of my face “I don’t understand how Blake can endure you…” he grinned.

I slapped his hand. “Shut up or I’m running away!”

“In those shoes?” He raised his eyebrows looking down at the said shoes; gray ankle booth with three inches and a half heel. They were lovely but they weren’t built to run, I had to give that to him.

Shopping had gone well for the whole getting dressed thing, Alex was really the perfect shopping partner and I had found a gorgeous dark blue dress down to the middle of my thighs, with mid arm length sleeves, a black belt at the waist, and there was a kimono vibe to the whole thing actually.

But the whole present thing hadn’t gone too well. I hadn’t found anything, anything that would be meaningful and that would say “I’m an idiot, I’m sorry for screaming at you and freaking out, it’s because I love you Blake and love makes people do crazy things and I’ve had bad experience in love, but now I’m sorry, please forgive me and give me another chance.” It’s kind of hard to find a present that says all that.

The perfect present though, I found it not on purpose. After coming back from shopping and freaking out I had sat down at my drawing table to calm myself and try to collect my thoughts, maybe make a list of things I knew Blake loved and that’s when I started to draw and that’s when it dawned on me.

A good part of that night I spent it over my drawing table trying not to cough my germs all over my sheets, I still had that stupid cold, but in the end I was slightly happy with the result and either way it would speak for itself.

Josh was still staring at me, obviously annoyed, waiting for an answer. Did I do this often? Spacing out I mean? And why didn’t people complain about it? “I’ll stab you in the eyes with the heels?”

Josh rolled his eyes and opened the door for me, pointing outside. “Get out of my car, now.”

“Fine,” I huffed and stepped out.

It was dark outside, only lights coming from the sort of torches on each side of the road. We hadn’t parked in front of the big mansion like I usually did, we had kept on driving for a little while until getting to a parking spot with plenty of other cars already there. And from here you could see the lights coming from the guest house, music blaring loudly, but there were no nearby neighbors to complain.

I walked side by side with Josh, holding the big black portfolio bag by my side, smoothing out my dark blue dress with my hands, while we headed towards the house.

This was kind of ridiculous, that guest house thing. The house was bigger than some people normal houses. Two stories high, entire front of it in glasses, and then behind it, it looked like a lake, a small one but still…

I tried to stay composed as I kept walking to the house but when I stepped inside, that’s when the legendary-Lexi-freak-out started. What was I suppose to do now? Go around and scream “Blaaaaaaaaake”? Should I find him and beg for him to just listen to me? What should I say? Should I apologize right away? Did I still have the right to be a bit mad at him because I was?

Ugh! Lexi, SHUT UP!

I followed Josh around, thinking that maybe he knew where he was going and what he was doing. I was having a hard time sorting my thoughts coherently in my head. I was so blaming that on the cold medicine I had taken before coming here. I might have gone a little over the top with it but I hadn’t wanted to have a running nose all night long.

The music was loud, and people were packing up in the entry so it was a struggle to get pass them, enchaining the “excuse me”s, trying to scream them over the music while not tripping on my feet and not hit people with my stupid big bag.

What had I been thinking bringing this now? Maybe I should have left it in Josh car? Or bring it later? Or not bring it at all?

Ugh!

And if I did found Blake, I could never speak to him here with him… I needed to get him alone somewhere… hmm that sounded bad.

I feel stupid, utterly stupid and out of place right now…

“Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean I look stupid with my big ass bag and there’s like no place for present and Blake might not even want to talk to me let alone see me, and I mean I’m still mad at him about the whole Kendal thing… Maybe I should go…”

Josh looked at me with narrowed eyes and pointed a finger at me. “Don’t make me kick your ass.”

“But—” I didn’t get to argue more because he was about to pinch my lips together so I just back my head away and glared at him, pouting a bit. “Fine.”

“Good.” Josh grinned and started to walk again looking around, probably trying to find Blake “So. On a scale from one to ten how many chances are there that your uncalling friend shows up?”

Hmm… maybe he wasn’t looking for Blake after all. Haha.

“Honestly, like three.” I yelled over the music, “I think she was doing some cleaning in her Beatles stuff.”

Josh looked back at me, over his shoulder and stated, “The Rolling Stones are cooler.”

I stopped walking. “Oh my god you did not just say that?”

“What,” Josh asked looking worried.

“You might want to forget about her…”

“What? Hey, what did I say?” Now he definitely looked worried.

But I didn’t have time to dwell more on this issue because my eyes were lock on the boy smiling at me few feet behind Josh.

I covered my mouth with my hands my eyes bulging. “OH. MY. GOD”

Right there stood Alex. Now that wasn’t unsettling, what was unsettling was the shirt he was wearing and more particularly what was written on it. “Sorry girls I suck dicks.”

Oh my god. What the hell was he thinking?

Josh turned around, probably to see what had made me react this way. “Now who’s this?” He sounded a bit confused and amused at the same time.

I took a deep breath, not sure what the hell was going on. “Josh this is Alex, Alex Josh.”

“That… whoa.” Josh looked between the two of us, shock very apparent on his face “Okay. Wow. That’s… that’s Alex?”

I nodded frowning a bit. How did he know Alex? Blake had probably talked about him…

“Whoa… This is priceless… Wow, I need a drink now” he went on and walked away, leaving me there with “mister I decided to come out of the closet in a really stupid way” but at least he took my big ass portfolio bag so that was a plus.

“I think I need a drink too…” I mumbled to myself.

Oh god…

I took a step forward so I wouldn’t have to shout too much at him in order to make him understand me. “May I ask what the hell?”

Alex smiled. He smiled. What a weird Papa Bear. “I figured I made you go through enough crap so this is me coming clean. I would have had to do it at one point, and now is as good as any. You’ve been way too miserable all week long for me to not try something.”

“Thank you. But you’re still an idiot for doing this like this,” I pointed out.

What was he thinking? Had he bumped his head or something? I mean it was one thing to say it to people and a whole other thing to show up with a shirt like that.

Oh god…

I’m sure Daph had something to do about this… Hadn’t she mentioned once that she wanted to buy him a shirt with that written on it?

Oh god…

“Oh thank you for the support” he said but his voice was teasing.

“It’s just…” I looked around at people staring at him, eyes bulging, going around freaking too “a little surprising…”

“That’s got to be the understatement of the year…” Alex grinned.

Again, oh god…

“What’s Travis saying about this? Is he here?” I looked around again.

Ya people were definitely staring right now.

“Well I thought with Blake completely hating me, it’d be better to not drag my boyfriend here. And no he doesn’t know. It’s kind of a spur of the moment kind of thing. I was planning on going to his window to re-declare my love. Seem to have worked most of the time between you and Blake.”

“Shut up,” I groaned punching him on the shoulder, but smiled a bit.

And that’s when I saw Blake in my peripheral vision. I turned fast to face him because if he decided to leave right away I could chase after him but he just stood there, his face completely frozen, eyes glued on Alex’s chest, blinking slowly.

I think I could actually hear Blake’s brain making all the connections.

If it hadn’t been for the fact that I was freaking out because I didn’t know how I was suppose to go on about things, I think I could have laughed at his expression.

Blake just kept staring, cupping his mouth with his hand and then trailing it in his hair, trying to compose himself I guess.

“You’re gay” he finally stated, his voice completely emotionless.

For some reason the music had died down. And I was suddenly very worried…

Alex shifted uncomfortably on his feet. Guess I wasn’t the only one worried. “Ya…”

“Did you know this when you dated Lexi?” Blake asked his voice just as blank.

Oh oh…

Alex swallowed. “Yes”

“And knowing that you were gay and not attracted to her in any way you still went out with her, not taking into consideration that you could break her heart?”

Double oh oh…

“Yes”

And then Blake took two steps forward and punched Alex straight in the face so fast no one saw it coming.

Alex fell on the ground with the force of the punch and then Blake shouted, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” and grabbed him by the shirt, lifting him up a bit before punching him to the ground again.

Holy crap!

I grabbed Blake by the arm before he could punch Alex again. “Blake, BLAKE, stop,” I said in a rush worried that he might hit me too because he was in a “beating up a dude” zone. But he didn’t. He just let go of Alex and looked at me.

The look he gave me almost me de me gasp; a mix of boiling anger and hurt, sadness and despair.

People around were freaking out, everyone trying to gather into the room to see what the commotion was all about.

“How could you not be…. Did you know this? You knew this?” Blake trailed his voice almost desperate.

“I did but…”

Blake cut me before I could explain myself more. “Jesus fuck… and that means… that means you didn’t… shit…”

Okay he wasn’t making sense right now.

Blake backed away a bit, his face still definitely shocked and then looked at Alex who was getting back on his feet, nose bleeding. Ouch. “You’re a fucking asshole.” Blake glared at him and then bolted out of the room, heading for the front door probably.

I was about to run after him when someone grabbed me by the arm. I tried to wiggle my arm out of their grip but it didn’t work so I turn to glare at the person, Josh.

“The kid has a temper sometimes. Let him cool down for a second and then you can go chase after him.” Josh explained, not letting go of my arm “Here.” He handed me a red plastic glass “When you’ll be finish with this then I’ll let you go after him”

Without even thinking about it I gulped down the content of the glass in one shot, coughing afterwards, my throat burning, but wanting to just get out of here already. I wasn’t just going to let Blake run away from me. We needed to talk now, more than ever. And I wanted to see him, right now.

“WHOA! Lexi that wasn’t water you know” Josh said, his eyes widening.

“I’m done, can I…” I blinked a few times the alcohol suddenly hitting me. Ooops. I felt dizzy there for a second. I blinked a few times my vision getting blurrier by the second, and my head felt like it was in wool. “Can I go now?” I asked, blinking to clear my thoughts.

Whoa, okay that definitely wasn’t water. I widen my eyes, breathing slowly, still blinking.

“Lexi I think you should sit for a second” Josh said. I think he was worried.

Worried schmorried.

“No! Where’s…” What was I saying? Hmm… the lights twinkle… Whoa. Focus Lexi. “where’s my big ol’ bag?”

“In the kitchen but—”

I cut him “thanks,” and started to walk from where he had came from.

Kitchen, where was kitchen.

I walked around the house for a while until I finally found a room with an oven and a fridge, that ought to be it, and kept on walking around, a little wobbly though, and finally found my bag, resting on a chair.

I took it and headed out.

It took longer than I had expected to go back to Blake’s house. My new shoes were pinching my feet and it was dark and I was trying to walk fast so it was a complete fail. At least the side of the road was lightened by torches so I didn’t get lost or anything.

When I finally saw the house I went straight for the front door because I wasn’t sure I could be sneaky with getting inside and I wasn’t sure I would be able to actually remember where the pool was. Plus I wasn’t complete sure Blake had came here.

So like a stupid stalking girl I started to knock on the front door a little too energetically.

After maybe a minute of pounding, Anita opened the door, a broom in her hands, holding it awkwardly.

“Oh, cielos! You scare me little miss!” Anita breathed and dropped the broom.

I tried to hold in my giggle.

Be serious Lexi, this is serious matter.

Ninja, ninjaaaaaaa.

Focus.

“Is Blake here? Did Blake come home?” I finally asked. Yes that was why I was here.

Blake!

Blake’s hot and he smells good. I want to lick his chest… Focus!

“No, I did not see him” Anita answered looking a bit sorry.

“Are you sure? Are you sure he didn’t sneak in the house. He does that, he sneaks in houses and is all sleek about it? Are you sure he didn’t sneak in his room?” I pressed, running my hands through my hair, dropping my bag.

She nodded. “Yes I’m sure.”

“Damn it!”

Where was he? Where was he hiding?

I sighed heavily, looking up at the sky and that’s when it hit me.

The cemetery. Of course! He had to be there!

“Anita, can you drop this in Blake’s room,” I asked, handing her my bag “and if for some reason he’s in his room tell him to go to the cemetery?”

“You okay?” She took the bag and looked at me, frowning, concerned.

“Not sure, will know in a few minutes though” I answered and tried to remember where to walk to get to the cemetery.

The trek was… well let’s just say it didn’t go smoothly. My heels kept digging into the soil making me trip quite a few times. Plus I had the booze to add to the “not being balanced” equation. I would have taken my shoes off if it hadn’t been for the fact that the ground was cold and wet.

I was pretty sure my palms and knees were full of dirt. There was a naughty joke in there I was sure…