READ THIS!

Okay so let’s clear a few things first because I don’t want to keep repeating myself. Do imagine me doing the bunny-hop though while reading this so I don’t sound like an uber-biatch because it’s not the purpose of this rant! lol

Uno. Few of y’all over reacting kiddies misread my last beginning rant. I meant it as in you won’t care what happens next in THAT specific chapter, not as in the story in itself. I’ve been planning and thinking about the next few chapters for SO long I’d be the dumbest chick if I skipped it! So YES I’m still into that story, YES I will finish it, no stories will ever be left unfinished. Might take time (like years with for instance the Chosen One, lol) but I will finish everything I write. Okay? So no more “oh she just isn’t into that story anymore, sucks we’ll never get an end blah blah blah crap” I never said that so don’t assume. 0_0

Dos. I haven’t uploaded fast enough for your liking for a few reasons. For one thing I’m back to college and the amount of work I have could put a lot of you into a burn out. I have to train for my fracking marathon, I have three expositions to prepare so that means a LOT of sculpting and painting and drawing to do, many many hours to put into it, and I need to call people to finance it, and I have to write letters to a bunch of people and a lot of preparation because yes there’s planning to do when you expose your stuff. I also have my final redacting class so I need to write a whole lot of stuff for that class, and no I can’t put one of my stories because it’s a French class. I also need to plan things because I’m moving next semester, specializing in English Lit in University so that’s a lot of planning and test doing, because yes I have tests to pass for that and I’m moving town, leaving my boys and that’s a lot of whining for finally agreeing to come back on the weekends. But the most “important” thing is I’ve been sick. Really really really sick. Almost puking my guts out, fainting, gut wrenching pain sick. Tingly feeling in my legs and hands sick. Head spinning sick. Can’t breathe sick. Pain in the chest when breathing sick. Crying curled up in a little ball because of pain sick. Chief almost dragging me one his back to the hospital sick. So basically in no condition to write sick.

I know I had said I wouldn’t make you guys wait that long again, but one cannot predict when sickness will hit them again, so if you want to complain to someone complain to my college, my body or my fracking immune system.

On the plus side, if I die È has all my codes and the last chapter of “I Sold..” and few extra chapters are already written so you’ll still get what you want. Happy? 0_0

I’m sure I had other stuff to sort out with you guys but right now I’m on the verge of fainting again, so you’ll excuse my light-headness.

Enjoy.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When I walked in the girl’s camp that’s when the freaking out hit me.

I wasn’t freaking out about kissing Blake though, no that was… wow… I had a hard time believing it had actually happened… no I was freaking out because I didn’t know what I was suppose to say. People would ask questions, obviously, girls liked gossips and some must have noticed I never got back to the camp last night. Daphnee was just bound to make inappropriate comments.

With that in mind, what was I supposed to answer? Obviously I knew I hadn’t had sex with Blake, but still I had spent the night and slept in a bunk with him. If people asked what I had done last night, where I was, what was I supposed to answer? I was in bed with Blake? Or was I not suppose to tell people? Blake hadn’t said to keep it between us and obviously all the boys in the camp were aware of what had happened. So now, what was I supposed to say? What explanation was I supposed to give? Should I not give any explanation and fall in the “one of the many girls that had sex with Blake” canon because that’s what people would probably think?

I knew I shouldn’t be freaking out about this, and I shouldn’t be worrying about what people thought, because frankly who cared about what people thought, I had kissed Blake!

But truth was, it was because by kissing Blake I had officially changed our status whether I liked it or not. Blake had said we weren’t done and it wasn’t just in the “making out” aspect of the whole thing, we still needed to clear things out, talk and give some sort of definition to what we were now. Because as far as I was concerned you didn’t make out the way we did with a friend.

And what was Blake opinion now on the whole thing? Because he had obviously seemed to enjoy the making out part but what about the real aftermath part? What about the whole giving it a definition. Blake had said he only had one serious girlfriend, that I clearly knew nothing about, and I didn’t know what his position was on the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

Ugh! Why did I need to over think this? Last time I had over taught about a kiss shared with Blake it had ended up with me freaking out, pretty much running away from him and actually making myself sick over it. Okay I had a Blake at my window at night because of it but still! If I hadn’t thought and just let him do the talking things might actually be different by now. Though I think it was better for things to go the way they had because I was closer to Blake than I was when we had kissed for the first time. I knew more about him, I understood more and yes I believed we were closer.

Oh god, seriously, couldn’t I just mentally shut up for one second?

Let Blake do the thinking for once. What was the worse thing that could happen if I didn’t think things through? Get my heartbroken? I could easily do that by over thinking too. And even if a little voice in my head was telling me that it was exactly what would happen, that anything Blake related would end up in a heartbreak, seriously what the hell was wrong with that little voice, I didn’t like it, not one bit, still, anyway, a part of me, most of me, just knew that I couldn’t hide how I felt about Blake anymore. Every fibre of my being also knew, was sure at one hundred percent that I was in love with him. It wasn’t just falling in love with him. It was the actual thing. And denying it would just be unwise… and seriously? Shut up Lexi!

At least the mental rambling cut me from noticing anyone in the camp as I made my way back to my room. Everyone seemed to be up and doing their things. The clock on the wall in the hall before my room said it was past eleven o’clock so it was kind of a given.

Wow, we had overslept. And I didn’t even feel rested.

I walked fast with my head low, probably not helping my cause on the whole gossiping thing though, and then dropped Blake’s shirt and hoodie on my bunk, okay that was definitely not helping me. If I listened to myself I would go right back to sleep. I was still tired, heck, I was exhausted physically and mentally and the bed bunk was pretty darn inviting. But I still hadn’t had a shower, and I needed to eat and then start packing because we were leaving in the afternoon.

So I grabbed my stuff to go take a shower, hurrying up, so I could hide there for a bit and post-pone the questioning glances that would surely go my way. I knew it was a real self-centered way to see things, thinking that people would bother if I had spent the night with a guy, but truth was it wouldn’t have anything to do with me. It was Blake the interesting factor in the whole scenario.

But I didn’t get past the door because Daph was standing there, leaning on the door frame, her arms crossed over her chest, grinning evilly.

Oh oh…

“So? Did you get some of Blake’s baby gravy in you cock pot?”

My eyes bulged, “Oh my god! What the hell?”

But Daph just shook her head of course, not realizing how fracking wrong what she just said had sounded, “It’s like talking to a two year old,” she pushed herself away from the door frame and leaned her hands on her thighs, like she was bending to talk to a child and said, pronouncing each word separately and way too loudly “Did. You. Have. Sexual. Intercourse. With. Blake. Eaton. If so, was it good, was he big, how long did it t—”

Ya no, she wasn’t finishing that statement or sentence or word or whatever, seriously what kind of friends did I have? I covered her mouth before she could go on and nodded once, “Thank you, that will be all”

The minute I let go of her face though, she just grinned again but didn’t let me get out of the room, blocking my escape. “So you did?”

I glared at her. “No I didn’t!”

Daph snorted. “Then what did you do last night? Stare at him while he slept?”

“We both slept actually, and we clearly did not have sex. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go take a shower”

“Hmm… If I hadn’t already traumatised you I would so say something inappropriate, but because I’m a good friend I’ll refrain myself from speaking and saying you need to take a shower because he got you all wet and bothered.” Again with that scary grin.

I sighed in discouragement, closing my eyes, brushing my hand against the length of my face. “Could you just leave me alone?”

“Where would be the fun in that?”

“You’re a really sucky friend!”

“Shut up! I’m supportive! Did it seem like I was judgmental on what you did last night with your Running-Back Boy? No I wasn’t, I was in fact really open minded about the whole thing, you were not but that’s fine. Now you can’t say that’s not supportive!” she pointed at me sternly.

I snorted this time. “You need to get back to civilisation soon, you’re starting to make less sense then you already didn’t”

“I’ll have to agree on that one.” Daph nodded, moved from the door letting me pass, and smirked. “Have a nice shower,” she said it in a sing-song voice.

I rolled my eyes but didn’t press the matter, there really was no reason.

Damn hippie!

When I was safely hiding in the bathroom, luckily alone, no one else was taking their shower at eleven o’clock or using the toilets, part of me didn’t want to take my shower. I had a hard time admitting this but it felt like when you shake the hand of your idol or something and then go “I’ll never wash my hand again” well, ya, that was pretty much the feeling I was having right now, seriously, I had troubling issues.

Just take your goddamn shower Lexi, I internally groaned.

And anyway faster I was done with this faster I could see Blake again right?

And then the mental rambling continued, as if it had ever stopped.

Would people ask questions and give knowing glances? What would I say to Blake when I would see him again? Would things be awkward because we had time away from each other and he wasn’t shirtless anymore? Oh wait, would he be shirtless? Should I go back to the boys camp or wait for Blake to come here? Could you please stop thinking you crazy lady?

Ugh! Seriously?

When I got back to my bunk, I started to gather my things, to make my bags, trying not to think and just do that simple task but when I got to the taking my sheets and pillow step I thought “Screw this” and snuggled back into it. I hadn’t sleep in my bunk last night and I wouldn’t sleep in it again and the crying baby side of me was already getting nostalgic about it.

Okay, serious issues right now.

Still, I snuggled in my sheets and before I even knew it I was dozing off. I feel into not-so-much-of-a-sleep, waking up, slightly dreaming of something I couldn’t remember the next second, and I had no notion of time.

A hand stroking my hair woke me up. I didn’t want to open my eyes just yet though. I knew who it was, it surprise me that everything in me just instinctively knew whose hand it was. I wanted the moment to last just a little longer, to feel his fingers stroking through my hair. This was all new to me, me and him, if there was such a thing, and I wanted to cherish every second, like the giddy school girl I had become.

And then I opened my eyes to Blake’s almost blue ones, staring intently at me, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips.

Waking up to find Blake’s face beside me… I could definitely get used to that…

“A bit lazy, aren’t we, Miss Grayson,” he smiled more.

In my head I was singing “Blake is hot! Hot hot hot!”

Keep it together lady…

“What can I say; the bed bunk was calling me.”

Why did my voice have to shake, why did I need to loo like a complete idiot in front of him? Ugh!

“Ah, completely understandable. Alex’s bunk wasn’t that comfortable.”

I don’t know if he realized there were no chances in hell I would be saying anything against Alex’s bed bunk.

Blake brushed one of his hands in my hair, pushing away a strand off my forehead like this was a completely natural gesture. “Did you eat?”

It took me two seconds too many to answer. It gave me chills to have him touch me, even if it was just the lightest touch. Voice, need to find my voice. “Nope”

“Hungry,” he smiled, his hand leaving my hair.

I wanted to whine for him to continue but controlled myself and my stupid hormones.

“A little,” I answered and Blake, still smiling took cookies wrapped in plastic foil out of his hoodie pocket and gave them to me. I smiled at him and when I did saw the dark circles around his eyes. I frowned. “You look tired.”

“Ya, well I’m still tired” Blake answered and hoist himself up in my bunk.

Was it wrong to think that most of the time I had spent during this trip had been in a bed bunk with Blake? In my mind it wasn’t but I don’t think that if dad asked me what I did during the trip I could tell him that… or maybe I could, if that meant he’d won his bet I’m sure he would high five me or something…

And I was rambling in my head because Blake was making himself comfortable beside me on the bed bunk and we had a lot less space then we had when we had been in Alex’s bunk and it was like every inch of my body could remember how it had felt to kiss Blake and… Breathe Lexi…

But I barely had time to do so and Blake was pulling me in his arms, almost cradling me against his chest. This was all too good to be true, seriously, maybe I was still sleeping maybe all of this had only been a dream… That would fracking suck.

“What are you doing tonight,” he whispered, his lips against my hair, his hand absentmindedly rubbing my back.

My thoughts were as incoherent as ever, especially since I had my cheek resting against his chest and his smell was filling my head and I was crushing the cookies he had given me in my hand, not on purpose but it took all my control to not just attack him again and I shouldn’t be attacking him because there were people getting in and out of the room to take their stuff.

What was the question again? What I was doing tonight? Was ‘you’ the right answer?

Ugh, shut up Lexi… Stupid stupid hormonal Lexi.

“Nothing planned” I mumbled against his chest. My right hand holding the cookies was under my side, and my left was on his chest too, feeling his fast beating hearth under it.

“Want to come over my place then,” he asked, his finger slowly trailing down from the corner of my jaw by my ear to my chin, “because there’s a few things I want to tell you and I need to give you something.”

My eyes closed of their own accord, my head leaning in his hand.

Blame all the time I had been spending with Blake but I heard a lot of innuendo in that sentence.

“Should I be worried?” I whispered, half smiling.

“Very” Blake whispered back and with his fingers still under my chin, lift it up and pressed his lips softly to mine.

Holy crap, he’s kissing me!

My reaction was immediate and I could feel a thousand butterflies flapping like crazy in my stomach and my nerves coming alive as I gently moved my lips with his.

Don’t attack him Lexi, you’re in public, don’t attack him!

My hand that had been on his chest curled in his hair to bring his face closer while he pulled me more over himself.

But it pretty much stopped there because girls walked in the room and started to complain about our position.

Ugh!

Seriously why did we always have to be interrupted?

Disappointment probably showed in my face because when I reluctantly back away from his lips and opened my eyes, I saw Blake’s amuse expression.

Prick.

“Why don’t we go eat downstairs,” Blake offered, getting out of the bunk.

I guess that was the reasonable way to think but all I really wanted was to just stay snuggled with him in my bed bunk.

For one second, all I wanted was for the trip to be over already and I could go to Blake’s place and he could tell me what he wanted to tell me. For the trip to be over so we could stop being interrupted every two seconds.

Okay hormones call down a bit…

Ugh!

So I got out of my bunk too and followed Blake downstairs.

The minute we reached the middle of the stairs and the guys that were sitting eating or cooking in the kitchen saw us they all started to applauded really loudly, cheering and whistling.

Oh god…

Stacey was washing her dishes, or more like letting the water from the tab fall on it and then shake it and when the guys started to cheer she looked our way and made a face at us, like she’d smell something bad or something. Maybe her nose was too close from her mouth. Hoe.

Internally I wanted to do a snap of the finger with a little hip movement and say “Take that you skank”. In my mind it was pretty funny.

Either way, she just dropped the plate she had been “rinsing” and left the kitchen.

Na na na na na!

The cheering calmed down a bit, especially after the teacher told the boys to shut up, but when we reached the end of the stairs, Cameron came to stand right in front of us. “So…” he trailed, a huge grin covering his face, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh god!

Really?

Ugh!

We seriously needed to get back to civilisation soon. Some people were obviously in need of entertainment.

“Seriously, how old are you?” I sighed discouraged. Blake wasn’t really helping because he was just chuckling behind me.

I kept myself from slapping him on the stomach just because I knew that if I did I would want to keep my hand there.

Cameron was still grinning. “And if you say ‘Old enough to do your mom’ I will hurt you!” I added, pointing at him sternly.

Those boys were way too predictable sometimes because his face fell a bit.